Disclaimer: I'm only playing with POTC. The mouse owns it to my everlasting envy.

The rum wasn't working was the sad conclusion Jack finally reached. Nor had the tantrum he'd thrown done much to relieve his frustration and anger. Instead here he sat close to an hour later with an empty bottle and several of his favorite possessions strewn brokenly across the room. As usual with Valentine things had quickly descended into a verbal sparring match with both of them going for each other's jugular. Why had he thought that things could ever be different between them? Her caustic comment about paying him gold had cut deeply and it had taken every ounce of his self restraint to refrain from going after her, grabbing her by the hair, dragging her back to his cabin, and giving her the thrashing she deserved. Though personally he had long been of the opinion that a good strapping to her hindquarters was not unwarranted, his fear that he would end up actually beating her held him back. He may have committed many atrocities in his career as a pirate but that was one he never had and never would commit.

Since her appearance in Port Royal, Valentine had been sending him mixed signals. Her uninhibited participation in their lovemaking in the stable had given him his first glimmer of hope that perhaps the connection between them still existed. When she had plotted to stop his and Millicent's wedding the hope had coalesced into a certainty. Despite her acidic and derisive comments about him, she wanted him. She wanted him even though she didn't want to want him, even though she had to be forced to admit to her desire. That was the crux of issue. He wanted; no he needed on some primal level for her to feel more for him than physical desire.

When he'd seen his ring on the chain around her neck he'd fooled himself into believing that perhaps she cared for him more than she was willing to acknowledge. Then, for a few moments after he'd realized that she had been a virgin his heart had leapt at the thought that she had remained chaste for him. He had shouted at her out of concern not anger. She should have told him that she was innocent so he could have slowed things down and made the experience more enjoyable. Not that the two hadn't enjoyed themselves, to the contrary it had been one of the more memorable encounters of his career and Valentine had not been left needing. Jack's lips twisted in a grimace. Valentine had soon put paid to any notions that he'd held regarding her harboring tender feelings for him. She'd made it abundantly clear that that she only viewed him as a means to scratch an itch. If only lust were enough. It should be enough. It had been enough with every other woman so why the hell wasn't it enough with her? Why did her low opinion of him and his morals hurt in a way that no bullet or sword ever had? Norrington's voice rang mockingly in his head, "You can fight it as much as you want Sparrow but it will do no good."

Jack argued with the voice, "Shut up you barmy fool. Just because you've been trapped by a piece of skirt doesn't mean the rest of us are."

"Indeed?" Norrington's voice drawled and Jack could practically see the ironic lift of his brow.

"Yes, indeed. See I'm not like you Commodore. I've no need for anyone else, specially no need to have a woman hanging about me neck."

"Then what does it matter to you that she thinks you a cowardly and selfish man?"

"It doesn't. I don't care what she thinks of me and I'll prove it to you… her… me. I'll show how little she matters." Jack suddenly became aware that he was arguing with a man who was not present. With a snort of impatience he stumbled his way to the deck where a good portion of the crew now lay in a drunken slumber. "Get up you scurvy dogs. Get up and set a course for Tortuga. We've more celebrating to do."

Val spent the next two days in her room. Mr. Gibbs was kind enough to send her food so that she did not need to leave the safety of her sanctuary. Although she cursed her unusual timidity, she could not bring herself to leave the cabin and face Jack. Guilt, shame, anger, and hurt all mixed within her and formed a bitter tasting stew. Lord she had been putty in his hands! His to do whatever he wished with and he had recognized that fact and acted on it. There was only one explanation for her behavior. An explanation that she had long avoided acknowledging and that she hated to admit was true.

Contrary to the impression that she had deliberately given Jack, she was not all that experienced in matters of the flesh. Oh she had had liaisons with men, three to be precise, but she had never before felt the driving need that Jack evoked in her. Frankly her encounters with other men had been pleasurable but rather lacking. If she were to be completely honest with herself, she had to concede that it hadn't been maidenly morality or even the driving wish to protect the secret of her marriage that had prevented her from engaging in intercourse. Simply put, it had been the sense of ennui that her experiences with other men produced that had contributed most to her retaining her virtuous state. In the end it had always been simpler to quickly pleasure the man and send him on his way. That way everyone remained on friendly terms with no one feeling slighted or misused. After her third such encounter, she'd stopped trying to find what she had experienced in the carriage that night and convinced herself that it had all been the result of too much champagne and the romantic events of the day.

It was small consolation that she had spoken the literal truth when she'd said that she had not saved herself for him for the end result had been the same. Jack was the first and only man to ever produce a level of arousal in her that demanded fulfillment. God help her if he should ever learn that truth for he would be ruthless in his exploitation. That was why she had stretched the truth and so cruelly attacked him. If he knew the truth… if he knew the truth…

Val's thoughts had led her back to the acknowledgment that she had artfully dodged for a few more minutes. Those men that she had dallied with had all been charming, handsome, intelligent, and skillful lovers. In short there could only be one reason why their touch had not produced the fire that Jack so easily aroused; she loved Jack Sparrow.

Instead of happiness, this long overdue admission only brought misery. She loved Jack and he did not love her. Like the worst kind of foolish woman she had spent the last fifteen years longing for a man who cared not a whit for her. That she had never consciously realized her feelings until now did nothing to lessen the magnitude of her stupidity in waiting for a man who had all but forgotten her. Tears of self hatred rolled down her face as she digested the enormity of her folly.

A soft knock sounded at the door. Groggily Val sat up and became aware of her surroundings. It was dark so she lit a candle. A quick glance in the mirror told her that ravages of her uncharacteristic crying jag marked her face. She called out, 'Just a moment" and then quickly splashed some water on her face to hide some of the puffiness and redness. As she walked to the door it registered that the sway of the ship had calmed considerably and that she could hear shouts and other noises that were not produced by the Diamond. They had docked somewhere. Val opened the door to a smiling Mr. Gibbs. His smile faltered as he took in her tear stained face.

"Sorry to disturb you Val but I thought you'd want to know that we've moored."

"Oh, well thank you for the news. That's very kind of you. Actually the information is welcome. I'm about to go mad cooped up here and a stroll and some fresh food sounds enticing." Val noted the wary look of concern that crossed his face.

"Well ma'am it's not my place to be telling you what to do but you might want to reconsider that plan. Tortuga is not really the sort of town that a woman should go gadding about on her own, if you get my drift?" The blush that suffused his face told Val exactly what sort of town it was.

"Really? I suppose that it was Jack's notion to stop here?"

Shifting uncomfortably Gibbs admitted, "Aye. That it was. Said the men and he needed to blow off some steam afore heading back to Port Royal."

Val knew without being told exactly how the men and Jack intended to blow off steam. Something snapped inside her. Her earlier self pity was washed aside by a tidal wave of anger. Enough was enough. She had wasted fifteen years and she was not about to waste another minute on a man who so patently did not deserve her. Raising her chin in a determined angle she inquired, "Surely the whole town can not be one big brothel? There must be some establishments that the upstanding citizens frequent?"

Looking even more uncomfortable, Gibbs mumbled, "Well there is one small area where things are a bit more civilized. Never been there myself but I've heard tell there is a somewhat respectable tavern and inn run by a family man."

"Then that is where I shall go. Thank you Mr. Gibbs."

"Jack won't like your going there on your own."

"I really do not care what Jack likes or dislikes. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to change and freshen up."

As he strolled down the corridor, Gibbs broke out into a grin and began whistling to himself. Jack had not confided what had occurred between him and Val the other night but the wreckage in Jack's cabin had indicated a passionate encounter and an educated guess was not difficult to make. What was unclear was why Val had retreated to her room and Jack had insisted on journeying to Tortuga. For two seemingly intelligent people the pair had difficulty seeing what was right before their eyes. Oh well, he would give them another nudge in the right direction and let nature take its course. It was the least that a man could do for a friend. And he could kill two birds with one stone, for on his way to inform Jack of Val's foolhardy plans he would stop by to pay old man Harper for his performance at the wedding.