Hello everyone! I'm sorry for the long wait. And I'm afraid the next chapter may take awhile as well. Classes are kicking my ass, so I can't guarantee anything.

Enjoy :)

Chapter 9 – Sunday Morning

It's weird how everything in your life can change in a few short days. Previously I'd been so obsessed with my schedules, so focused on cutting up my life into small, manageable bits, that even my sleep patterns had fallen into line. However, apparently it only takes a day for me to completely obliterate these sleep patterns. Maybe it's because I'm so incredibly comfortable. Or maybe because so many things have changed in my life as of late that one more won't kill me. Or rather, drive me over the deep end.

As I drift into consciousness I can feel a warm breath tickle across my hair. I feel so safe, a cage of firm, muscled arms encasing me. I take a deep breath, relishing in the strong, musky scent of my savior my Edward. Our legs are entwined, keeping me from tumbling off the small bed. I'm tucked against his chest, and I feel so small and safe in his arms. I gently nuzzle my nose into his bare chest before opening my tired eyes and blinking at the bright morning light. It's lighter than it usually is when I wake, and when I glance at the bedside alarm clock I see that it's almost 8:30. I usually wake at exactly 7:00. Any other day something so deviant from my schedule would send me into a tailspin, drive me completely out of control. But it appears that when Edward's driving he keeps me on a straight course, and I don't mind handing over the steering to him.

I tilt my head back to peer up at his face. He's still asleep, eyes closed but fluttering slightly. His lashes are so long, casting minute shadow across his lids. His hair is as Crazy as always, with the added bonus of bed head. He looks so peaceful and happy, and I can't help but be drawn to his lips. They're parted slightly, small gusts of air slipping out of them. The soft, pink flesh is slightly moist, and I'm hypnotized. I think about kissing him, the idea stampedes through my mind with so much force. I've thought about it before, actually quite a lot over the past few days, but I never thought I'd be able to actually do it. Now that he's right here in front of me, so gentle looking and peaceful, I feel like there's a magnet drawing my lips towards him. I take a deep breath, glancing up to make sure he's still asleep. He is.

I'm going to do it.

This way I can control it. I won't stress out and wonder what he's going to do, I can just focus on keeping myself calm and not freaking out. It's not exactly how I imagined my first kiss, but I think it will be better this way. He's so handsome, and I try to focus on that fact, along with the warm fuzzy feeling in my chest.

I slowly lean up, hesitant but determined. I stop an inch from his lips and soak in the feelings, before gently shifting forward, pressing my lips lightly against his.

Edwards lips are even more soft and wonderful than I imagined. Their warmth transfers to my own lips and spreads to my cheeks and throughout my body. My head goes fuzzy, and all confusion and nervousness that is usually at home in my mind just melts away. It's so peaceful, so incredibly peaceful. If being in Edward's arms is my oasis, then kissing him is like taking the first drink of water after wandering aimlessly in the desert. It immediately soothes me, but I want a truckload more at the same time.

I ease back after a few seconds, my mind reeling, but I can't help but press my lips to his a second time. Now I feel his lips move to meet mine. I freeze for a second, but he coaxes me to move my lips with his in small, hypnotizing movements. I pull away as I begin to feel lightheaded, shakily exhaling. He's awake. I can't help but feel self conscious. Was it OK Is he angry that I kissed him in his sleep? And above all...will I get to do it again? Looking up at him I see he's smiling, his eyes twinkling in the morning light.

"Morning Bella." Edwards rough, scratchy, sleepy voices murmurs quietly as he shifts slightly. I keep waiting for him to mention the kiss, to ask what I was doing. I try to get my thoughts straight, but they're still frazzled from his lips. I settling with my cheek and palm resting on his warm chest. A light dusting of reddish brown chest hair tickles my nose. I don't want to move, but I wait for him to say something. He doesn't. Edward settles again, and gently strokes my hair. We lie like this for some time, enjoying each other's company and the quiet of the morning, his rhythmic caress lulling me into a tranquil state, despite our unusual predicament. Finally I let out a breath and break the silence.

"I can't remember the last time I slept past 7."

Edward remains silent for a moment, his ministrations now switching between stroking and gently massaging my scalp. I wince a bit has he hit a tender spot. He immediately goes lighter. I guess I've been pulling harder that I thought.

"Everyone needs a break every once and awhile. A lazy day or a little vacation." I think over his words. Logically I know them to be true, but I've never in the past felt the need to take a break, to relax. Probably because Mother has never allowed it, or because I never noticed how exhausting my life is until I'm away from her. Edward continues on with his thought. "It's one of the reasons why Dad gave me time off when I asked him."

This makes me pause. I untangle myself from him and sit up. My tangled hair falls across my face and I push it back quickly. I can feel myself panicking, I can't help it.

"You...you talked to your dad?" He seems confused. I supposed I would be to if he suddenly freaked out for no reason.

"Yes, I called him yesterday while I was driving. You were a bit...occupied at the time." My brow furrows in confusion.

"I don't remember that."

Edward smiles sadly.

"You were a bit zoned out, and you were muttering a lot under your breath."

Ah. So I had been saying my mantra aloud. That's a bit embarrassing. My cheeks flame and I bury my face in my hands. Edward tugs at my wrist to get me to look at him. He isn't laughing at me, nor is he angry with me. He's just a bit sad I think, but he still tries to smile.

"Come back here Beautiful."

I can't help but giggle as he pulls me back down to rest on his chest and he resumes stroking my hair.

"Can you tell me why you had that little freak out?" He's not angry I don't think, just concerned. I'm hesitant to answer.

"Did...did you tell him...about me?" I bite my lip as I wait for his answer.

"Yes I did. I told my parents earlier in the week that I'd met someone, and I had to fill him in a bit when I called to tell him not to come to the airport to pick me up. Are you ok with that?" I hate that I made him feel like he's done something wrong. I feel stupid for freaking out now.

"That's fine. It's just..." I don't know how to voice it. It's so hard to tell him how I feel sometimes, after keeping it all in for so long. But he knows when to nudge me, like now.

"Keep going." he whispers in my ear, still sweeping his hands down the strands of my hair. I focus on his repetitive movements as I try to get the words out.

"D...do you think your parents will like me." It kind of tumbles out in the end, and when it's in the open I bury my head into his chest, feeling tears leak from the corner of my eyes. I hate feeling so insecure and weak. I hate second guessing myself at every turn. But I can't help it. I trust Edward, I really do, but after a lifetime of not being good enough, the change of pace is a bit hard to get used to.

Edward kisses my forehead and tightens his arms around me slightly.

"They are going to love you Beautiful. They're so excited to meet you."

I don't know how to reply to that. It seems so weird that someone would want to meet me. I try to push it out of my head but as we lie in silence, I can't help but let the thoughts run amok in my head.

He's going to leave me eventually.

My heart clenches at the thought. I don't want to lose him, but in my experience, or at least from what I've seen of Mothers relationships, they always leave in the end. Once again it dawns on me just how potentially stupid it was of me to go running off with him. If he leaves me, I have nowhere to go, and that is probably the scariest thought of all. The unknown is what terrifies me the most.

So I pull away. I can't figure out what to do. Edward already as such an effect on me, holds so much power, that in this moment I feel so vulnerable. I struggle out his tight hold, which he releases immediately, and quickly get out of bed. I have to get away from his addictive touch for a bit, to try and get my thoughts straight. Now that I'm standing looking back at Edward in bed, with him looking so confused and dishevelled from sleep, and the empty ruffled space next to him I feel embarrassed and ashamed of hijacking his bed.

I turn to leave the room, my heart pounding and my eyes tearing up, but as I turn my foot gets tangled in the sheet that has fallen to the ground. As I feel myself begin to fall I brace myself for impact, but I feel Edwards strong grip on my arm keeping me steady. I let out a shaky breath and nod to him in thanks before gently pulling my arm from his grasp and making my way across the room.

"What did I do?"

The anguish is his voice makes me freeze. I don't want to hurt Edward but I can feel myself being dragged in so many different directions that I can't set things straight in my mind.

"Nothing. You did nothing." I can't seem to move. All I can hear is our breathing, harsh and loud in the silent room.

"Then what's wrong. Please talk to me." His voice implores to me, and the tears begin to flow down my cheeks, a sob bursting from my chest. I head his fast footsteps, and the next minute I'm wrapped in his arms. My sobs grow until my chest is heaving and I'm struggling to breathe.

'You're...going...to...leave...me."

"No! Bella, I told you. I love you. I'll never leave you."

I tear myself away from him, out of his arms.

"Don't say that! You don't know that! You could change your mind! You're going to change your mind! I know it!"

I'm shaking and I can't stop. Edward is so upset, but I can't help but spew it out, what I know to be the truth.

"You're going to find someone else. You're going to get bored of me, get sick of me, because I'm not normal." His expression turns angry in a moment and he opens his mouth to object. I beat him to it. "I know, I know. You hate that word. No one can tell me what's normal for me. Blah blah blah. It's all lies! I not right, nothing works for me and you're going to leave me and I'm going to have no one! I'm going to be alone! They always leave…" I sniff and rub the palms of my hands across my eyes, pressing down in exasperation. Edward stays silent and I look up to see him staring at me, unflinching, eyes watery.

"Who always leaves Bella?"

I'm angry now. Angry at myself for thinking this would work, angry at Edward for making me believe it would work, angry at everything.

"THE MEN! The ones that Mother throws herself at. They say that they love her, and that they will always be there for her, and they'll live happily ever after with a big shiny house with her screwed up, autistic waste of space daughter tagging along for the ride! But a few weeks later Mothers crying in bed, refusing to come out and the man disappears forever, along with the supposed love that he promised."

"It's not always like that!" Edward tries to come to me but I back up, trying to stay away from his addictive touch once more. He stops at my movement. "I was telling the truth the whole time Bella. I will always be there for you, for as long as you want me to be. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"It won't work."

"YES IT WILL!"

His yelling startles me, but he stops immediately, trying to get control. I know he won't hurt me, but the sudden change in volume is a bit scary. His voice drops to barely more than a whisper.

"I know you've probably only seem that side of it, but there is so much more to it Bella. Look at my parents. They've been together for 35 years. Or my siblings…"

"But they're married!" Edward freezes, his mouth snapping closed. He's oddly still, his eyes drilling into me. I want to look away, so much, but I can't. I continue. "Marriage is different. Marriage is binding. Mother was married to my Dad once. He loved us. I remember he did. But he died. There's a big difference between two people being together and being married…"

I stop talking. He's still looking at me, unmoving. Seconds pass, and I wait for him to answer, to tell me what he's thinking. The only sound in the room is our breathing, his steady and calm, mine harsh and irregular.

When his answer comes, it's so quiet I almost can't hear it.

"Marry me then."

"W…what?"

He looks at me, completely calm and collected. My astonishment is clear from my last statement, but I can tell he's serious. On the other hand, I'm a mess. I keep thinking of all the times I used to imagine this growing up, imagine my Prince Charming coming to whisk me away from my Evil Mother. I never thought it would come true. I'm not even sure it is coming true. Maybe it's just a big joke and he's going to laugh and say 'gotcha!' at any second. But after awhile, with me standing there gaping and Edward waiting expectantly, I begin to realize it's really happening.

"Why?"

I have to know. Why would he settle for me, when he could have anyone? Why would he put up with me and my issues? Why me? He smiles at me which, of course, makes my heart melt.

"Because you're special. You're smart and kind and amazing. Because you're beautiful…" I blush and look at the ground, embarrassed. "…And I love you." Although it's not the first time I've heard him say it, the emotion and passion in his words makes my heart pound. I kind of believed him before, but now I know he really, truly means it. He keeps going, oblivious of my epiphany. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you. I want to live with you. I want to have kids with you. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms, just like this morning. I want you to know that you will always be loved and treasured. If you need to marry me right this second to know that I'll always love you, we will. Because I know that if we don't get married today, we will someday. I have faith in that."

His words hang between us for a moment, but the next second I cross the room to him and launch myself into his arms. He catches me easily, laughing and smiling. I can't help but giggle as he spins me round in his arms. As we come to a stop I rise up on my toes and press my lips firmly to his. I can feel him smile against my lips, and it makes me smile as well. It's a strange, almost kiss, because both of us are smiling too wide and laughing too much for it to be anything but sloppy and awkward. But it's perfect.

"I don't want to wait for someday." I whisper after we pull away, our faces close together, our noses still touching slightly. "I want it now. I want to get married."

And then he leans down to kiss me, and I lose myself in him.

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