Hello! I'm sorry for the long wait between updates.

Overall I'm a tad bit disappointed at the low rate of review and such for this story. Ultimately I write for myself, but it'd still be nice to get a lil' lovin every once and awhile, so please let me know what you think at the end :)

Chapter 12 - Wednesday

The Phoenix police department calls the next day as we're heading north on the highway. Mother finally went to the police station to file a missing persons report.

They served her with a restraining order instead.

Part of me is extremely satisfied with how it must have played out. The other part is terrified of what she'll try to do next. Edward tries to reassure me, telling me there's no way she can find me. The marriage has been processed, it's final. We applied to have my name changed before we left Las Vegas. Still, I worry.

We decided to leave Vegas the morning after our wedding. Edward has to get back to work in a few days, and although I love our time together, I'm struggling with not having a routine in my day.

The drive is relaxed. We make our way through Yosemite National Park, reveling at the nature around us and snapping picture of each other on Edwards phone. The nights we spend in motels along the way, stopping wherever and whenever we fancy. We hold each other tight, and get to know each other in a way I never thought I'd be able to. And I find that even after my initial insistence to go further, I'm happy and comfortable at the pace we're going, even if I still have that uncomfortable ache that I don't understand.

One emotion that I have grown to recognise over the short time I've been with Edward is hope. It's strange, the glow in my chest that seems to come out most when I'm around Edward, when he smiles at me. I feel hope for my future, hope that I can stay happy like this, or maybe become even happier. Hope that I can live normally, or as Edward continues to tell me, what is normal for me.

As we drive I rest my new notebook my my lap, but I don't write in it. I don't even open it. It's not that I don't want to, but more that I can't bring myself to. Lines, paragraphs, chapters of narrative run through my head constantly, sometimes becoming so vivid they send me into a daze. Edward seems to get used to my sudden silences, and the way I drift off with no warning. Whenever I finally settle my thoughts enough to sink myself back into reality the first thing I feel is Edward's hand gently holding mine, and the first thing I see his reassuring smile.

However, even though my mind is as active as ever I can't bring myself to write it down, because I know that back in Phoenix, sitting in Mother's desk is my last, unfinished notebook. And it's driving me insane knowing that I will most likely never be able to finish it, never be able to fill it up. I know exactly where I'm up to, exactly what I wrote in it last, but just the fact that the book itself is left unfinished is getting to me. It's incomplete. It's not perfect.

So I sit. And I spend hours getting absorbed in Edward's life, and in my future life with Edward. And I try not to think about it.

Edward lives in an apartment. It's in a quiet area of Seattle, midway between the towering high rises of downtown and sprawling suburbia. It's close to the hospital, and I think I like it. It's Wednesday afternoon when we pull up outside his building.

I've lived in apartments before with Mother but this is different to the small, cramped, manky ones in my memory. There's 24 hour security for one thing. It's small, but tidy and clean. I like the kitchen. It's not the stiff, square type of place that Mother's house was. It's comfortable.

We lug the boxes with my notebooks up, as well as Edward's duffle bag and my small bag of clothes we've procured along the way. We make a second trip to retrieve my Wedding dress and Edward's tux, which are carefully hanging in garment bags.

I don't have much time to relax and get used to the place. Edwards parents are expecting us for dinner.

Cue giant bundle of nerves and enormous butterfly's in my stomach.

Edward can tell I'm nervous. He grips my hand and leads me gently towards his car which is parked in the underground carpark. It's just like our rental. Silver, newish, safe, responsible. As Edward navigates the busy city streets heading towards the suburbs I get lost in my thoughts, which are speeding a mile a minute through my brain. I have a hard time calming myself, and I end up fidgeting relentlessly, gently tapping on the armrest in groups of three.

Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap.

"It's going to be ok Bella." I barely hear Edward as he tries to relax me. I appreciate the attempt but I can tell I'm a mere minutes away from a cognitive lockdown. And I know that when, not if, I do circum to the chaos of the brain, I have no idea how long it will take me to get out again.

"Edward..." My voice is strained, horsed. "I'm scared they're not going to like me." He knows this already. Especially since he hasn't told him that we're married yet. He wanted to wait to tell them in person.

"They are going to love you, Bella. Please believe me." He places a gentle kiss on the back on my hand."

I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Edward." It's all I can manage before the panic sets in, and I'm overwhelmed by its frantic energy, sent into a numb trance.

I've experienced this before. It used to happen a lot when I had to go to school. The anxiety of the crowded hallways, the interactions with other teenagers. I could usually hold them off until I was in the safety of my room at home. It's been a while though. It catches me off guard. But as the muffled numbness settles around me, I do something I've never done before. I fight it.

I know Edward is still with me, but other than that I'm oblivious to almost everything else.

The fight seems endless and eternal, but eventually I feel myself drifting out of it. Touch comes back first, and gentle easing awareness of a cushioned seat beneath me, but mostly of the warm, strong arms around me.

Edward of course.

A sudden rush of sound registers next. I hear voices mostly. Whispers and murmurs.

I then become aware of my vision. I'm not in Edward's car anymore.

We're in a spacious living room, sitting on a plush couch. There's more people with us. I count five people. Across from us on the loveseat is a small, waif like woman, hand clasped with the blonde man sitting next to her. Alice and Jasper, I think. An armchair next to them holds an absolutely stunning woman, her flowing blonde hair and striking features matching her stylish clothes. Rosalie. There is a man perched on the arm of her chair, and he can only be Emmett. I can barely believe how big he is.

There's another armchair beside the couch we're on. In it sits a blonde man, older and dressed in a suit without the jacket. He looks a lot like Edward in his features. I know this is Carlise, Edward's father, but the first thing I think of when I see him is... Doctor.

I immediately shy away from him, pressing closer to Edward.

The quiet talking stops almost immediately, and I can feel everyone looking at me. I drop my gaze to my lap and refuse to move from there. For the first time I notice that my hand is still tapping absentmindedly against my leg.

Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap.

"Bella. Are you ok?" I relax slightly at the sound of Edwards concerned voice. I force myself to still my hand as I nod in reply. The room falls silent again, but with a tense atmosphere that makes me uncomfortable. For once it's easy to identify the tense, awkward atmosphere.

"I'm sorry." I know I've screwed up. His whole family must think I'm a weirdo, a freak. A tear falls from my eye, unwillingly. Edward gently wipes it away with his thumb.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm just worried about you. Are you ok?"

I nod. "I just zoned out." I try to placate him, but I can tell he doesn't buy it.

"This was different from the other times. You were really gone there for a while. You didn't even notice when I led you from the car to here."

"Does this happen often?" I jump at the question that comes from the armchair next to us. I don't want to answer. I've learnt that answering doctors questions only leads to more questions, followed by medicine. Lots and lots of medicine.

But Edward answers for me.

"A couple of times on the way, but not as bad as this." I jerk my eyes up to meet Edwards, trying to convey my reluctance. I see only reassurance and love in his eyes. "How about we talk about this later" says Edward, addressing his Father. There's a murmur of agreement from around the room and I relax a bit more, knowing that the awkwardness is over for now.

"Well Bella, I'd like to introduce you to my family. This is Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and my Father, Carlisle. My mother is..."

"Right here." We turn to see a woman in the doorway. She's beautiful. Hair the same shade as Edwards, falling in graceful curls around her face, wearing a beautiful blue wrap dress. Her smile is radiant, and she gives off a mothering air so strong, it makes me ache for the chance to have the mother I'd always dreamed of, but never had.

"Edward, it's nice to see you home again." Edward smiles lovingly as his mother hurries across the room to peck him on the cheek. "And this must be the lovely Bella that I've heard so much about. I'm Esme dear. It's a pleasure to meet you." Before I can blink, Esme leans down and kisses me as well, right on the cheek. I freeze in shock, lifting my hand to brush my still warm cheek. I've gotten used to Edward's touch, but such gentleness from a stranger catches me off guard.

I have little time to think about it however, as Esme quickly ushers us into the dining room. Dinner is ready.

The air around the dinner table is light as people catch up and banter. I'm happy to remain silent and observe for now. I'm self-conscious of the rings on my finger, hyper aware that Edward has yet to tell his parents about the wedding.

Everyone seems to be accepting my presence, even after my awkward entrance. Edward must have told them something about my...about me. The only one I feel a bit uncomfortable about is Edward's sister Alice. She's been staring at me more than the others, studying me. And she's frowning. That's not usually a good thing. There are many reasons to frown, but I can't think of anything other than anger at this point. I wait for the ball to drop, for the game to change. I feel it coming.

And then it does.

"So Bella, why did you follow my brother here?" The table falls deathly still and silent, the cheerful chatter freezing mid sentence. I look to Edward to see him staring at Alice in question, his eyes worried and suspicious.

"Umm..." I stutter. "I..."

"Why are you asking this Alice." Edwards voice is cold and foreign. He has never used that tone to speak to me before.

"I'm just trying to get to know your girlfriend, Edward." I can definitely read a cold, distant tone in her voice. Jasper rests a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugs him off.

"How did you meet my brother, Bella? What do you do for a living? Where did you grow up..."

The table erupts in objection, surprisingly from the majority of it's occupants.

"Alice! Enough! Stop interrogating her.."

"I met Edward at a coffee shop."

It seems I have a way of rendering a room to silence. Or perhaps it's because it is the first time I have spoken to everyone. Everyone has turned their attention to me. It would usually make me nervous, but I am determine to defend myself, so that Edward doesn't have to. I want to show them I am good enough for him.

"I went to the same coffee shop everyday in Phoenix. One day Edward was in my seat." He laughs at that, and I can't help but send him a glancing smile.

"I grew up in a lot of places, depending on where Mother wanted to go, and what boyfriend she had."

Edwards hand finds mine under the table, grasping mine tightly.

"I have Asperger's syndrome and I came here with Edward because I fell in love with him." I leave her last question unanswered, hoping she will forget it. I don't think she will be very impressed to know that I don't earn a living myself.

Before she has a chance to continue her questioning, Edward cuts her off.

"And she's not my girlfriend... She's my wife."

"...WHAT!" Alices pretty, elf like features twist into an ugly snarl. "You mean to tell me you picked up some gold digging whore while on a work trip, married her, and brought her home with you. What, is she pregnant?"

"ALICE!" Esme screams.

I feel the color drain from my face and my hands begin to shake. I've encountered mean people before. The american high school experience is full of them. But coming from Edwards sister is something else entirely.

Edward leaps to his feet, letting go of my hand. Everyone's yelling. Edward sends his fist smashing into the dining table, rattling plates and causing me to jump in fright. A small part of me is afraid of him at this moment, of his angry face and forceful fists.

A foreign, gentle hand softly grips my elbow, pulls me too my feet and away from the commotion. I'm thankful to be away from the noise, and the anger, but all I want is my Edward back. But he's angry, busy yelling at a red faced and terrifying Alice. I'm led through the lounge and into another room, a conservatory. It takes all my energy to force myself to register that it's Rosalie that walks in front of me. She sits down on a couch, pulling me to sit next to her. All I can hear is my own breathing, and it registers that I'm breathing too fast, too shallow. Suddenly I realise I'm on the verge of a full on panic attack. My hands curl into fists and I'm rocking gently. Fighting, always fighting, to stay calm, stay here. I don't want to go to that place, the dark numb place in my mind.

I jump slightly when I feel an arm snake around my shoulders. I can vaguely hear Rosalie making soothing shushing sounds as she gently pulls me into her, directing my head to rest on her shoulder. I want to object, to tell her I don't like being touched by anyone other than Edward, but before I can she encases me in a warm, loving hug.

It feels amazing.

My body instantly relaxes into her, my arms coming up to wrap around her tightly. I don't want it to stop, I don't want to lose this. I burrow my face into her cardigan and finally start to control my breathing, but my hands grasp onto her tightly, unwilling to let go. I will always crave Edward's arms, but the feeling of a mother's hug for the first time in my life is earth shattering. Now I know what I've been missing all these years.

Rosalie begins to gently stroke my hair, and I can feel the tears begin to flow as I finally calm myself down. I realised there is someone else here, gently rubbing my back in soothing circles. Esme. Her motherly warmth emanates as well, even from such a small contact. I find myself feeling almost jealous of Edward, for having the chance to grow up with Esme as a mother, and of Alexis for having Rosalie.

I peek up at Rosalie, her beautiful face studying me with a soft smile. But her gaze drifts down and her smile falters as she studies my cheek closely. With a gentle hand she traces the faint, almost healed line of the cut on my cheek, her touch feather light across my tear damp, overheated skin. I hear Esme gasp in the background as she spies what Rosalie has.

Rosalie's question comes gently and quietly. "Who...?" My breathing stutters, and I bury my face in her cardigan once more. I debate whether to tell her, to reveal my heartache, or to ignore it. My answer comes without me realising.

"I wish my mother was more like you."

I know as soon as I say it that she will understand, she will guess the cause of the cut. The hand the strokes my hair freezes for a second, before continuing it's journey.

"You've got us now Bella. Esme is the best mother you could ask for, and I'll always be there for you."

I turn to the side to see Esme. She's crying, silent stream of tears running down her cheeks. She nods in support of Rosalie's statement.

I'm bombarded by emotions so strong, it feels like a tsunami wave crashing down. Violent sobs wrack through me, and I surrender to the feelings, allowing myself to be supported and comforted by these two loving mothers. I forget about the anger in the other room, revel in this moment as I wait for Edward to come back to me.

Thanks, hope you enjoyed it!