Chapter Nine:

Too Much Teasing

The dark rich aroma that's emanating from the staff room's coffee machine is calling my name. I wasn't planning on having a cup of coffee this morning but this scent is irresistible. I've been meaning to cut back on my caffeine intake because lately, I feel like my body isn't functioning properly without it; so that obviously means that I should cut back on that stuff right?

Instead of continuing walking down the hallway and making my way to my office, I guiltily make a last minute sharp turn into the staff room towards that intoxicating smell. Lucky for me, no one is in line at the coffee machine so I march right up to it and pour myself a cup. These disposable coffee cups are so small. I mentally chide myself for not bringing my travel mug. It can hold a lot more in it... I shake my head a bit. Duh, Harleen, there's a reason you didn't bring it with you today, you're trying to cut back remember?

I quickly add a bit of sugar and cream to my cup so that I can move on with my day and enjoy my guilty pleasure alone in my office. As I turn to leave the room I notice that several nurses and orderlies are staring at me. A couple of them are even whispering to each other; what's that about? I haven't done anything that merits work place gossip, have I? As I leave the staff room and continue on my original path to my office I contemplate the things that I had done this past week. I suppose the only significant thing that I've done is have my therapy sessions with the Joker. Maybe they don't agree that he should be receiving treatment, or maybe they don't like that I'm the one treating him. Either way, I could care less. They could have been talking about anything; who's to say that they were talking about me? So I'm just going to pretend that that little scene never happened.

When I reach my office door I tuck the papers that I had been carrying under my arm and juggle my coffee with that same hand while shuffling through my pockets with the other. I hold this awkward position for about two minutes before my keys finally decide to come out of hiding. I have a lot of pockets in my lab coat and a lot of stuff in them that I need to throw out or put away.

For a while now, I've developed this nasty new habit that I hate, where I always look to my desk and feel a wave of disappointment at its emptiness. It's not that my desk is bare, it has things on it, like photos of my parents and friends, a computer, paperwork, and a cup of pens. What bothers me is that I'm really hoping that the Joker will sneak another gift in here. I'm ashamed that I actually want him to violate the facility's rules just so that I can have a small token of his affection. The thought of it happening again makes my cheeks feel warm.

I push the swelling feeling in my chest away and throw my keys and papers on my desk, plopping myself down in my chair. I take a couple of warm sips of my coffee and a thought occurs to me: I never thanked him for the flowers. Should I? I feel like it's something that I shouldn't bring up. But I want him to know that I appreciated the gift. …so that maybe he'll grace me with another…

Stop it Harleen! What happened to being indifferent towards his flirtations? I can't -in any way- let him know that I'm interested in him as a man; that would be disastrous. I have a feeling that if he knew, he would laugh and never let me live it down. But then again, he is my soulmate. That means he wouldn't be able to resist reciprocating my feelings right? Ugh this train of thought is scary. Logic is on my side but for some reason my heart is insistent on doubting it. A part of me feels like the Joker is above all of this soulmate stuff; like none of it affects him at all. I hope that isn't the case because I'm not above this. The Joker's presence and words affect me more than I'd like them to. If the day ever comes where he realizes the depth of the connection that we share and he rejects it, I hate to say that it would break my heart.

I take a calming sip of my coffee and imagine the drink dissolving my worries and washing away this unwelcome topic. I don't want to think about that stuff right now because I don't want to start my day out on a low note.

I turn my attention towards the morning paper that I had picked up on my way to work. It's been a long while since I've taken the time to read The Gotham Times paper. I've been in my own little bubble lately that I've forgotten that there are people out there with bigger problems than I've got.

My eyes scan the front page and the highlight of the entire paper seems to be that the Batman has saved the city -yet again- from another cunning and monstrous villain. I get that this is important news to know but should this kind of information still be front page worthy? The Batman saves the city all the time and it kind of gets boring hearing about it every single time. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the work he does, but I don't need to read about every single one of his victories. Am I the only one who feels this way? Doesn't the press get tired of writing about the same guy every day?

With a heavy sigh I turn to the page of the article anyway. I read the first couple of paragraphs before my interest is lost. I got the gist of it though. Apparently, the Batman brought into custody this elite sniper assassin known as Deadshot; what a stupid name. Where do these villains come up with these names? If I were a villain, I'd choose a cool name; one that people would never forget. I can't think of anything cool right now but it's not like this is something I have to think about. I'm no villain, and I'll never be one; Thank God.

I turn the page to the celebrity gossip section and I'm rewarded with a picture of the handsome and rich Bruce Wayne. I'm not going to lie; I've always had a little crush on him. But who doesn't? Amber had a bigger crush on him then I did though. I remember she told me once that if she wasn't already in love with the voice in her head, then nothing would stop her from making the billionaire her's. She was very confident about it and I admired that.

The article talks about how Mr. Wayne was spotted with yet another beautiful damsel on his arm. No surprise there. This guy changes girls like I change clothes. Even if someone like me were to get his attention, I wouldn't be able to hold it for very long. He'd quickly move on to the next skirt that catches his eye.

On that thought I turn a couple of pages until I reach the financial news. Ugh, our economy is terrible… I turn the page to the culinary section and read about today's daily recipe. There are very precise instructions on how to make a chicken pot pie. It looks really yummy. I wonder if Guy would appreciate eating something like this. I suppose I could give it a try, even though this recipe seems a bit advanced. I'm no stranger to cooking. I know my way around the kitchen; it's just been a while since I've had to cook for anyone other than myself. When I cook for myself, I already know what I like, so I don't have to second guess adding anything. And plus, if I mess up, I don't mind because it's not embarrassing if I'm the only one who has to eat it. But when I cook for others I have to really think about what I'm doing and the pressure to get it right is greater.

Despite all that, I think I'm going to try this tonight anyway. I remember how Guy had mentioned that he wanted to eat a home cooked meal and to be honest, I do too. We've been eating way too much take-out and it would be really nice to sit down and have a traditional meal without all of the brown bags and plastic utensils.

With that in mind, I rip out the recipe from the paper and fold it. Then, I shove it into one of my inside pockets. Damn it! I have to stop doing that. I really need to clean out these pockets because I swear, sometimes it feels like it takes me an hour to find what I'm looking for. I'm too lazy to do it now, but I swear I'll do it soon.

I close the newspaper and set it to the side to recycle later. I take my final sip of coffee and then toss the cup in the trash. I idly shuffle through the other papers that I had brought to kill my time when I'm interrupted by an alluring and inviting voice.

Harleen. Harleen.

I sit up immediately in my chair at the sound of his rich voice. It's almost as if he's purposefully calling to me.

Come on Dr. Quinzel. It's play-time.

I look over to the clock on my wall and see the little hand almost pointed at twelve and the other is pointed at ten. He's right. It's time for some therapy.

"What's up boys? How's it going?" I ask the orderlies outside the therapy room.

"Hey Harleen," says Lyle. "Still here huh?" Obviously.

"Yup." I turn to orderly number two. "Have you paid Lyle his thirty yet?"

They both laugh. "Of course I did Dr. Quinzel. I'm a man of my word."

I smile. "That's good to know. Next time you bet, I'll do my best not to let you down."

"Oh trust me Quinzel, you won't cuz I'm going to make sure that a little birdie lets you know what's going on beforehand." Lyle and I laugh. I barely know this guy but somehow the 'cheater' characteristic seems to fit him perfectly.

I'm still laughing when I turn the knob and open the door to the therapy room. "Alright boys, I'll see you in a bit," I say to the orderlies before shutting the door behind me. I turn to find the Joker staring at me, deadpan. My smile disappears immediately at the sight of him. I hope he isn't in an uncooperative mood today. He sounded so eager to start our session just a moment ago.

I move to take my seat across from him and plaster a smile on my face. "Good afternoon Mr. J. How are you doing toda-"

"You were laughing out there. What was so funny?" His voice is calm but it is not soothing. I can detect a definite undertone of malice hidden in it.

I shrug. "I was just goofing around with the guys."

"Do you think they're funny?" Where is this going?

"Well one of them is. The other… not so much. He kind of annoys me actually; I have no idea why. He hasn't done anything to me."

There's a brief moment of silence before the Joker breaks it. "Which one is the funny one?"

I open my mouth to answer but then close it immediately when I realize that I don't have a name to give him. I still haven't bothered to ask the second orderly for his name yet, and this is only going to get more awkward the longer I wait. But anyway, the undertone of his voice is really concerning me. I have a bad feeling about it; so much so that I don't want to tell him which one it is.

"It really doesn't matter Mr. J. Can we get started now?"

He says nothing. Great…

I sigh with a bit of obvious frustration. I don't want to go through this again. I don't want to have another conversation where I'm pulling teeth. So I decide to just tackle whatever issue is happening right off the bat. "Is something bothering you Mr. J? Do you want to tell me what it is?"

He's silent for a moment and then decides to respond. "…I don't like that you're getting chummy with my guards."

"Why not?" I ask. I don't see the harm in it.

His face scrunches up as though he's disgusted by something. "They're not funny. So they shouldn't be able to make you laugh like that."

I think back to my conversation with the orderlies. It's not like we were having a super hilarious discussion. I barely even laughed, and when I did, it wasn't exactly because I found either of them funny. It was more of a polite/amused kind of laugh.

"Mr. J I was only being polite," I assure him. "Does it bother you when other people laugh at jokes that aren't yours?"

"…No. I appreciate good comedy when I hear it," he says thoughtfully.

"Then why do you feel upset in this particular case?"

He remains silent and stares at me without really looking at me. His mind is somewhere else, lost in thought. After a while, he finally speaks. "You shouldn't waste your time with those nobodies Dr. Quinzel. Mediocrity is contagious you know."

Mediocrity? Nobodies? "You don't think highly of those two, do you?"

"No," he growls.

"Why is that?"

The Joker rolls his eyes and sighs. "…There are… two types of people in this world; the ones that entertain… and those who observe." He points to the door. "Those two are observers. Now observers are fine and good, entertainers like me need an audience. The problem is… that those two have convinced themselves that they are entertainers… and they need to be put back in their place. So don't encourage them with your politeness Dr. Quinzel. It's doing them no good."

Hmm… What an interesting perspective. I jot down some notes in my notebook. "…I see."

The Joker leans forward towards me. His eyes squint and his face twists into one of disgust. "Phonies are the worst aren't they?"

I can't help but smile. Both because he looks adorable right now and because he has a point. Phony people are the worst. However, as a psychiatrist, I'm not sure that I'm allowed to think that way. "Well, there is some truth to that Mr. J." He leans back and smiles, content with my answer. "So, aside from the overall distain for your guards, is everything else all right with you? You're doing well, is what I mean to ask."

The Joker reclines further into his seat and stretches his arms over the table. "Oh I'm peachy Dr. Quinzel. Thank you for asking. You're so thoughtful."

"Well, it's my job to be. They don't pay me to sit here and look good." The Joker cackles at my comment.

"Oh, if they did… trust me, you'd be making the most money in this place."

I automatically smile and feel my cheeks warm, but I quickly regain my composure and change the subject. "So… Is there anything in particular that's on your mind today? Anything that we need to discuss?"

He looks to the tiny window in the room, expressionless. "What's going on out there?"

I'm assuming he wants to know if anything news worthy has happened in the city recently. "Not much really. The city has been pretty quiet since you've been in here."

The Joker slowly turns to me wearing a mischievous smile. "Do you think they miss me doc?"

"I hate to break it to you Mr. J, but I really doubt that they do," I say with compassion.

The Joker chuckles. "I'm sure someone out there does."

He sounds as though he knows with certainty that someone is waiting for him to get out of here. "Do you have someone waiting for you? Someone you know?"

"I do. And I know he misses me. Oh he's probably just dying to see me," he grins.

"Who is this man? Someone related to you?"

"Oh you could say that. I can never really relate to anyone; but with him, I could. He and I are cut from the same cloth."

"You like this person," I comment.

"I supposssse…" He dragged out the word thoughtfully. "…But you know, I'd like him a lot more if he were to just let me in. But of course where would the fun be if it were that easy."

"I'm sorry Mr. J, but I have no idea what you're talking about. You lost me."

"That's all right dear. I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand our relationship anyway."

Someone like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is he calling me stupid? "Well it's hard to keep up with you when you aren't explaining yourself properly. If you would elaborate, then I'm sure that I would have no trouble understanding."

The Joker growls, "I don't want to talk about him anymore."

What? But I want to know more about this mystery man… Everyone has their own pace Harleen. We'll come back to this topic again one day. "Alright. That's fine. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a question." He says nothing, so I assume that means yes. "In our last session, you said that you enjoyed killing people. Why is that exactly?"

The Joker crosses his arms. "In the last moments of a person's life, they let you know just how pathetic they are. I think it's hilarious when people pretend to be tough and macho and at the very end… you see just how vulnerable they really are. There's nothing funnier than that. Have you ever seen it Harleen?"

"No. I've never watched someone die."

"Would you like to?" He practically jumps in his seat with his eyes so full of hope and excitement.

To be honest, that is something I'd like to see. Professionally speaking of course. As a psychiatrist, I would love to study the state of mind of someone on the brink of death, but is that something that I should share with him? "…No, that isn't something that I would be interested in seeing because no matter how I look at it, the circumstance that you're describing has to do with murder and that is illegal."

The Joker leans forward, smiles, and cocks his head to the side. "You hesitated."

I blink a couple of times, taken aback by his observation. "What?"

"You hesitated in answering my question doc."

"What? I did not," I protest and the Joker's grin only stretches further.

"You did! You hesitated, and do you know what that means Dr. Quinzel?" I say nothing and he continues anyway. "That means that you really do want to see it."

"It does not!" My voice is several octaves higher than it should be. "If I wanted to, I would have told you."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," he wags his finger wildly at me. "I'm smart enough to know, doctor, that you wouldn't share that kind of desire with a patient like me. There was really only one answer that you could give." He closes his eyes as if he's soaking in something from the atmosphere. "Ah… but your hesitation… says everything."

"Mr. J, cut it out! I don't want to watch someone die okay?"

The Joker leans back in his seat, arms crossed with a huge smirk plastered across his lips. "Fine. Whatever you say doctor." He winks and then speaks in a hushed voice. "Don't worry. This will be our little secret."

I sigh heavily and roll my eyes at him. There's no point in protesting any further. He's already convinced himself that he's right. "Well I can see that there is no point in talking you out of this delusion, so will you at least promise me that you won't do anything with this information?"

The Joker places his hand over his chest and wears a shocked expression, as though I've greatly offended him. "Harleen! I would never dream of it. What sort of man do you take me for? Do you really think that I would kill someone and force you to watch?" He crosses his arm and returns to his original position… but not without winking first.

"No. Don't do that," I warn.

"Do what?" He grins.

"Don't wink Mr. J."

"I didn't wink at you."

"Yes you did!"

"Harleen… I didn't wink at you. But if you'd like me to…"

Oh I give up! There is no point in arguing with this man. I sigh exasperated and lean my forehead into my hand. "Please stop trying to be cute Mr. J. This is getting us nowhere."

The Joker gasps theatrically. "Dr. Quinzel… You think I'm cute?" I shoot him an annoyed look and he responds with his infamous cackle. "You know; I think you're pretty cute too doc."

Ignoring how good that last sentence makes me feel, I hold on to my annoyance and roll my eyes at him. He's making fun of me, and I'm done entertaining him. I start gathering my papers together. "Well, I think we're done for the day. I'm ending this session here. I've got other things I need to do anyway."

"Ohhh come now doctor. Things were just getting interesting." Yeah, for you maybe. I ignore him and rise from my seat to exit the room. With my hand on the door, I hear him say, "I'll see you next week Harleen."

I actually did it! I went to the supermarket when Guy stepped out and I got the things I needed to make a chicken pot pie. I've got two in the oven right now and they're going to be finished any minute now; I just have to keep an ear out for the ding.

So far, our apartment is coming together nicely. We still have a couple of boxes stacked up in odd places but the place isn't as claustrophobic as it was before. While the pies were baking, I unpacked and washed all of our boxed silverware and dishes. I grab a matching set that my mom had given me way back when, and place them on the table opposite each other. If we're going to eat a home cooked meal, then we should get the full dinner experience right? I have place mats set up and everything; the whole setting looks really nice.

A soon as I finish setting up the table, Guy comes through the front door. He stops in his tracks immediately when the scent from the oven reaches his nose. "What smells so good? Are you cooking?" He turns the corner to see that I have set the table for us to eat. "Woah… You did cook! What're we having?" He takes his seat at the table.

"Chicken pot pie, as soon as it's done. I found the recipe in the Gotham Times and I just had to make it. It looked so good."

"Well it smells amazing Harleen, I can't wait to eat. I'm starving."

When the oven finally sounds, I pull out the pies and am satisfied by their beautiful golden brown color. Guy is over the moon with joy. He could not be happier that I decided to cook tonight.

We're both so hungry that once we started digging in, we really didn't say much half way through our meal. But once our hunger settled and we stopped eating like savages, our conversation picked up again.

"So, I've got some crazy good news to tell you," says Guy between bites.

"Oh? What's up?"

Guy stops chewing for a moment and looks me dead in the eyes. "I met her."

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "Met who?"

"Her." He taps his temple with his finger. "I met her."

I drop my fork and my jaw practically falls to the floor. "Y-you met her?"

Guy wears a huge wolfish grin. "I did."

"Oh my gosh… Tell me everything! When did this happen?! How did it happen?!"

"Alright, alright. Calm down-"

"Calm down? Guy, how can I calm down when you just told me that you've met your soulmate?! This is amazing! I'm so happy for you!"

Guy pretends to be annoyed. "Well you don't have to be so loud. I'm right here."

I ball up my napkin and throw it right at his face. "Tell. Me. Everything."

Guy chuckles. "Alright. So, I stopped at our usual bar to have a drink with a couple of buddies of mine from undergrad and-"

"Wait a minute. You stepped out for drinks just now? I thought you went to Wal-Mart."

"I did," he says, confused.

"So, you're telling me that your story didn't happen today?"

"No it happened yesterday." I grab his napkin, ball it up and throw it at his face again. "Jeez, what was that for?"

"Why didn't you tell me yesterday, you jerk!?"

"Well, you were sleeping when I got home, and I wasn't going to wake you."

I sigh. "Guy that information is super important. That's the kind of news that I want to be woken to."

"Relax Harleen. Doesn't it count for anything that I'm telling you right now?"

"No, because you also could have told me on the way to work this morning."

"I was half asleep!"

I fold my arms. "That's no excuse Guy."

He shrugs. "Well what can I say? It's not that I wasn't really happy and psyched by the experience, but I just didn't feel the need to scream it from the mountain tops."

I guess I can understand that. I mean, I didn't tell anyone anything when I found out who my soulmate was. I still haven't told a soul. So who am I to judge?

"Okay, fine. I forgive you. Now tell me everything!"

"Alright, so I was out having drinks, and then all of sudden, I hear a familiar voice, right in my ear. I knew it was her immediately but I thought I was hearing her in my head. Then I turn and see this beautiful red-head standing right next to me. She speaks to the bartender again and that's when I know it's her."

"Aww! What did you do?"

"Honestly, I watched her for a while."

"You creep!" I laugh.

"Well, I was shocked! I couldn't believe it and I didn't even know what to say. It wasn't until she finished her drink and started getting up to leave that I finally reacted without thinking about it."

"What did you say?"

"I said, 'Wait, miss. I don't mean to be rude, but do you know who I am?' It was right then that I could tell that she recognized my voice; her eyes got all big. She couldn't believe it. She was just as shocked as I was. We chatted for a bit but then she had to go. She had a really early meeting so she needed to get home and get to sleep."

"Did you get her number? Did you guys talk about meeting up again?"

Guy rolls his eyes. "Of course Harleen, I'm not stupid. I have her number and we're going to see each other tomorrow."

"You're going on a date?! Aww, my little boy has finally grown up," I tease.

Guy rolls his eyes again. "Shut up mom…"

I'm quiet for a moment while I let all of this new information sink in. Guy goes back to clearing his plate. I can't believe that he found his soulmate! I am beyond happy for him.

"So, have you guys been texting since then?" I ask after a while.

"Of course. She sends me these cute little messages every now and then."

I am beaming with joy. I like what I'm hearing! "What does she say?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Ugh, why not?"

"Because the messages aren't for you. They're for me, and I don't feel like sharing."

I'm practically whining. "Come on! I want to know more."

"Nope."

What a jerk… If he was a girl, I wouldn't even have to ask all of these questions. He would tell me everything and show me everything right from the start. Oh, why did I have to move in with a boy? He's no fun… I still love him though.

"Fine. I suppose, I will respect your privacy."

"Thank you," says Guy around a mouthful.

"Your welcome." I look down at my plate and start poking what little food is left with my fork, absentmindedly. In a low voice, I say out loud to myself, "…But, if your phone should one day just happen to be left out unattended…"

Guy looks up and eyes me suspiciously. "You wouldn't."

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm not saying that I would, but you shouldn't tempt me…"

"…I'm changing my password." Like that'll stop me. I'll find a way.

By the time we finish eating Guy and I are grinning like goofballs. We continue to tease each other until I finally have the last laugh when I force him to do the dishes. It's his punishment for being a jerk to me.

Despite his uncooperative behavior, I really do hope that this girl makes Guy happy. But then again, she is his soulmate, so how could she not? I can't wait to meet her! But with the way Guy is right now, I doubt he'll introduce her to me anytime soon… Oh well, I'm not going to press him about anything that has to do with her anymore. If he wants to share something with me, he will. And if he doesn't, he won't. I'll do my best to respect that. Because after all, I'm withholding much worse information from him. So I shouldn't be such a hypocrite.

Anyway, I wish those two the best of luck, and I can't wait to find out what their future holds. Perhaps their relationship will be so good, that it will fill me with hope and determination for what my relationship can someday be like. I hope that one day I can sit down and tell Guy everything about Mr. J. But for now, I'll just have to keep quiet and work my hardest to cure my soulmate of his insanity so that we can have a relationship that is as open and as pure as anyone else's.

AN: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading this far, I appreciate it very much. Happy New Year to everyone; I hope this year is awesome and better than the last. Please don't forget to comment and review; I love your feedback! I'll see you all in the next chapter! :D