Chapter Ten:

Mutual Feelings

It's been five weeks since my first session with the Joker. We've had sixteen therapy sessions since and I think I'm beginning to understand the way he thinks. …Well, to be honest, I don't think anyone will truly ever understand the way his mind works, but I'm beginning to pick up on the things that he likes and the things that he doesn't like. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I can even predict what kind of snide remark he'll use as an answer to certain questions. This is a skill that I've been trying my very hardest to perfect because I am sick and tired of leaving openings in our conversations where he finds the opportunity to mess with me and -too often- make fun of me. We have had incredible conversations where I have found myself completely fascinated by him and utterly awe-struck be his theories and observations. But for some reason whenever I try to express my interest in him as a person, I end up walking out of the room with my feelings hurt. And don't get me wrong, it's not that I've ever tried to profess my love for him or anything as deep as that; I simply try to empathize with him and explain that I understand the things that that he's explaining to me. Every time I try to meet him at his level, he always nudges me away with his jokes; that are usually at my expense. If I were not a trained psychiatrist, I would think that he has no interest in me getting close to him. But because I am a trained psychiatrist, I know that he is pushing me away for a reason; he's protecting himself from me. Why? I still haven't figured that out. I want to believe that it's because he's afraid to fall in love, but I don't want to be gullible and assume my favorite theory. Until I figure out the real reason, I'm going to stay on the defensive side. When I figure it out, that's when I'll attack and worm my way into being his confidante.

"…Oh I'm sorry, have I bored you dear?" The Joker sits with one ankle resting over his knee, staring at me expectantly. He has a smile plastered on his face, but I know that there is malice hidden behind it. If there's one thing he hates, it's being ignored. He can't stand it when the attention isn't solely on him. I chose the worst possible time to have my inner contemplation.

I quickly try to remedy my actions. "I'm sorry Mr. J. It's just that what you're telling me is a lot to take in. I'm trying to rack my brain around it all."

"Oh really?" The Joker uncrosses his legs, scoots his chair back under the table, and leans in closer to me on his elbows. "Which part of what I said was… too hard for my little Quinzel to understand?"

I don't bother shooting him a look of annoyance because I'm already on bad territory. I try to remember what he was talking about before my mind drifted off. "Umm… the stuff about… moral degradation…" Crap, I knew that was wrong as soon as I said it. I pulled that answer out of my ass; I can't, for the life of me remember what he was talking about.

"Moral degradation huh? …Tsk, tsk, tsk. Wrong answer Harleen." The Joker wags his finger at me. I hate that I'm letting him down, and I'm really angry at myself for not paying attention to him. These sessions are the highlight of my week, why wasn't I paying attention?

"You know, being that you're a psychiatrist, I should think that I automatically have your undivided attention, shouldn't I?"

"You do. I swear that you do, Mr. J. This was my one and only slip up, I promise."

The Joker scoffs and leans back into his chair, crossing his arms. He looks really annoyed.

"I really am sorry Mr. J. Is there any way that I can make it up to you?"

The Joker's eyes meet mine and a slow smile stretches across his lips. Crap… Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I'm not getting a good feeling from his expression.

"Why as a matter of fact, there is a way…" The Joker leans over the table and curls his finger at me, telling me to come closer.

My heart thumps wildly in my chest as I do as I'm told; My face is inches from his! In all the time that we've been together, I have never been this close to him. He and I have never even had any physical contact whatsoever. It was against the rules. But having him this close to me right now is really clouding my mind from all judgment of right and wrong.

"I'm going to tell you a secret Harleen," he whispers in my ear, his breath sends shivers down my spine. And I can swear that I felt him sniff my hair for a brief moment. "I want to get out of here. Will you help me?" My eyes widen with horror and I pull back immediately. He wants to escape. Does he honestly believe that I would help him do that? I want him to stay here and get the help that he needs. Granted, that I don't believe he's entirely insane. The guy makes too much sense sometimes, but there's still the huge problem of his enjoyment in the murder of innocent people that still needs to be dealt with. I can't let him out on the streets yet. No way.

"Mr. J… What you're asking me to do is something very serious. I could have you thrown in lock-up for even suggesting it…"

The Joker raises his alabaster eyebrow at me. "Is that a threat… doctor?"

The tone of his voice scares me. "Of course not." I answer immediately.

The Joker breaks the intense atmosphere by laughing his genuine laugh; there's no dark hidden malice in it whatsoever, just general amusement. "That's too bad. Things would have gotten really fun if you did." Yeah… fun for him, I'm sure…

I straighten myself out in my seat, acting as though the previous scene didn't affect me at all. I absolutely loath this power he has over me. I hate that he can make me feel so dumb-struck in love one minute, and then completely frightened of him the next. It's frustrating! No man should ever be given this much power over anyone; let alone his own soulmate. Perhaps I only feel these emotions so intensely because I'm his soulmate. When I'm around him, my resolve to remain indifferent towards his advances and remarks seems to completely vanish under his will. I hate that I have no say in how I feel. I've always been really good at controlling my emotions, but I just can't seem to do that when I'm around this man; and it is infuriating beyond anything I've experienced before. I wonder if he were to know that I was his soulmate, would he stop tormenting me this way? In these five weeks, not once have we brought up the topic of soulmates again. I'm sure that he still hasn't figured it out yet. If he had, he wouldn't be treating me like this right? Because sometimes, I swear, I feel like he tries to frighten me just because he can; because it amuses him. I'm sick and tired of it.

"I'm going to do you the favor of assuming that what you said was one of your most questionable jokes," I say sternly, adjusting my glasses.

The Joker cackles. "You call that a favor? Harleen if you really wanted to help me out, you would slide me your keys under the table."

The huge smile on his face lets me know that he's messing with me… again. I've had enough of this shit for one day. I gather my notes and rise from my seat. "I'm leaving. I don't want you to start taking this joke too seriously. I'll see you in two days Mr. J."

I start walking towards the exit when I hear him call after me. "Oh Harleen! Why do you always leave when things start to get interesting? I'm starting to think that you're no fun at all..."

That stops me in my tracks. For some reason, it hurts me deeply. But I'm at a loss of words. I don't know what to say to change his opinion of me. So I just continue walking until I've shut the door behind me. Jerry the orderly -I learned his name!- regards me questionably.

"Cutting another session short doctor?"

"Yeah. He's misbehaving again." I gently tug Jerry away from the door's window and speak in a hushed voice. "Can you make sure that more orderlies are posted outside of his cell? He may be planning an escape and I don't want him pulling the slip on us."

"Of course Dr. Quinzel, I'll tell the others. Should I tell Dr. Arkham about this?"

"No not yet. This is just a hunch that I have. I don't want to bother him with this until I know something concrete. And if that time ever comes I'll be sure to tell him myself."

"Alright doc. I trust you."

I smile and pat his arm before walking away. "Thanks Jerry."

The ceiling to my apartment is so very white, and boring. Why don't people ever decorate their ceilings? This is excruciating. If I had any artistic skills, I would grab a brush and some paint and get to work immediately. I don't even care if a painted ceiling would throw off the décor of the room; I need something interesting to stare at for those days -like today- when I'm too lazy to angle my head in any other direction.

Right now, I'm lying flat on my back on the couch in my living room. Sick of staring at my blank ceiling, I flip to my side and let my eyes take in the room around me. The apartment has really come together nicely in the past weeks. I managed to merge Guy's stuff nicely with my own. I'm glad that there isn't a cardboard box in sight; I was getting sick of looking at them, so one day, I forced Guy to help me finish unpacking, and now we're officially moved in.

Speaking of Guy, I've been seeing less and less of him these days. Ever since he met his soulmate, he's had less and less time for me. If it weren't the fact that we work together, I don't think that we would see each other at all. He still gives me a ride to and from work, but as soon as he drops me off at home, he runs off and scurries to his girlfriend. He always gets home really late too, most of the time, after I've already gone to bed. Sometimes he doesn't even come home at all. I'm really happy for him; truly I am. It's just that I've been so lonely lately. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. The friends that I had aren't in Gotham anymore, not many people talk to me at work, and the Joker is keeping me at an arm's length. I'm craving some sort of human connection right now; someone to talk to.

I look to the window on the far side of the room. Maybe I should go out. I could go to a local bar and meet some new people. But I'm only interested in making new friendships. If I go to a bar by myself, then I'll only attract unwanted attention from people that I have no interest in getting to know. I guess I should just lay here and wallow in my self-pity then…

Maybe I should get a pet. If I got a dog, then I could always look forward to having someone greet me every time I come home. That would be really nice. But then I'd have to walk him and most days I'm too busy to do anything out of my routine. So I guess I should scratch that idea… Maybe a cat would be better. But don't they scratch and pee on everything? I suppose I could always get it declawed but that seems kind of mean to me. Ugh, forget it. Why bring another soul into this lonely apartment. It probably wouldn't make much of a difference here anyway.

Click.

What was that?

I sit up straight and look around to see where that noise came from. I can hear some shuffling sounds coming from the kitchen. I get up to investigate but when I get to the kitchen, no one is there and nothing seems amiss. Am I going crazy now? Do I have to add another grievance onto the many others that I already have?

Oh well, I guess so. I shrug my shoulders and turn to leave the room when I'm encountered by a tall dark figure that surprises me too much to register him as anything other than an intruder. I scream and grab and throw the closest thing near me- which just so happens to be a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter. I've got good aim though; it bonks him right on his head.

"Jesus Harleen! What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry Guy! I thought you were a burglar or something. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

Guy pulls out a seat from the table and sits down. "Of course I am silly. I don't know how much damage that you think a banana could do to a person."

I scoff. "Hey, they can do more damage than you think. Have you ever played Mario Kart?"

Guy laughs and I grab the banana off of the floor beside him. Why waste good food? I unpeel the fruit and have at it before the bruise from my throw sets into it. "So, why are you here so early?" I say around a mouthful of banana. I don't have to watch my manners around Guy. He doesn't care.

"What do you mean I'm early? Have I been staying out late or something?"

I gape at him. "Are you kidding me right now? Guy, you're never home these days. To and from work is the only time I get to see you."

Guy rolls his eyes. "Don't exaggerate Harleen. We see each other all of the time."

I gape at him again and mouth the word "wow" before going back to finishing my banana. This boy is sprung. He's so caught up in his love life, he can't even keep track of how much of his time is occupied by it.

"Well anyway, are you busy right now?"

I look down at myself and gesture to my old Aerosmith t-shirt and jogging pants. "Do I look busy? These are my stay at home clothes Guy."

He looks a bit disappointed. "Does that mean that you're not in the mood to leave the house?"

"Why, do you want to do something?" I sound a little too hopeful.

"Yeah actually. I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight with Sarah and me."

"Wait. You and Sarah? You want me to meet her?" I ask enthusiastically.

"Yeah, well… She asks about you a lot. I told her that you're like a sister to me and now she really wants to meet you."

"Aw, how sweet! Of course I want to meet her too. I've wanted to meet her since day one."

"Alright. I'll text Sarah right now and let her know that you're in."

"Cool. I'm gonna go change!" Yay! This'll be the most fun I've had in a long time.

Guy and I arrive at the restaurant early. He sits opposite me and continuously looks from his menu to the door.

"Jeez Guy, is everything alright?"

Guy looks at me confused. "Yeah. Why?"

"Well, you keep checking out the door. Are you nervous or something?"

"No. I just… I feel bad for not picking Sarah up from her job. I offered, but she insisted on taking the bus. I just hope she gets here okay."

Aw, Guy is the sweet, protective type. Sarah is a very lucky girl. Under different circumstances, I would worry whether or not she was good enough for him; but she's his soulmate so of course she is.

As if on cue, a red headed woman walks through the door and heads straight to the host asking about a table under the name Kopski. When Guy notices her, his eyes light up and he immediately calls out her name to grab her attention. "Sarah! Over here."

Her eyes mimic Guys when she notices him. She waves off the host and maneuvers her way over to us wearing a huge beaming smile.

She is adorable! She's a petite woman with short bobbed red hair. She's wearing a long sleeved black blouse and a very cute beige skirt. She practically skips over to Guy who stands up immediately to welcome her in his embrace.

They both look so good together. You don't even have to ask if they're soulmates or not; You can tell just by looking at them. They're perfect; they complement each other perfectly.

For a moment, it seems like they've forgotten that I'm in the room. But to be honest, in that same moment, I forgot that I was in the room too. I'm so enthralled by them that I don't even realize how much of a dork I must look like, sitting here wearing a huge grin and just gawking at them.

Guy eventually pulls away from Sarah to let her slide into the booth. Sarah regards me with a welcoming smile. "Hi." She extends her arm to shake my own. "I don't know if you heard, but I'm Sarah." She jokes.

I shake her hand and return her smile. "Oh, trust me, I know who you are. I've been dying to meet you, but mean ol' Guy here has been keeping you all to himself."

"That's because I know how girls are. Pretty soon you two are going to team against me and cause me even more problems than you each do individually."

Sarah and I laugh and she smacks him on the arm.

"You know what Guy?" I say. "We're going to start teaming up right now. Sarah, ignore this doofus and ask me anything you want to know about him."

Sarah's eyes practically sparkle. "Oooh, I want to hear the most embarrassing story you know about him!"

"What?! Harleen you better not say a damn thing." Guy warns.

"Oh, I have just the story in mind. You're going to love it! It's about when I sent Guy to go buy me some tampons."

Sarah laughs and leans in closer, eager to hear more. Guy turns a soft shade of pink and kicks me under the table. Of course, that does nothing to stop me. I tell Sarah everything; and by the end of the story. She and I are beside ourselves with laughter. Guy joins in our giddiness because I guess seeing us get along so well just puts him in a good mood; even if it is at his expense.

Dinner goes swimmingly. Sarah is an amazing person. She has a very calm personality and a great sense of humor. She's seen so much of the world. Up until recently, she had been living in France. Of course I made her tell me everything about the country. Who hasn't dreamed of living in France?

She and Guy stay in constant contact the whole night. Whether it was a casual caress or simply brushing shoulders; the two were inseparable… and very much in love. It takes only one glance to see that they care deeply for each other. And to think, they've only known each other for about a month and a half now. They're so close… Isn't that how it should be with all soulmates? If so, then why aren't the Joker and I like them. I've known my soulmate longer than Guy's known his and Guy is way closer to his than I am with mine. It's true that there are reasons why we can't be that close. Those reasons being that he is my patient and I am his doctor and we have to maintain a professional relationship. But still, even so, we're allowed to have a connection. I feel that as two people, he and I are not on the same wavelength. We're never on the same page and lately we really haven't been getting along well. I'll be honest, I do feel something between us that pulls me in, but I'm not sure that he feels it too.

This whole situation is too disheartening. After watching Guy and Sarah together, I'm starting to really question the relationship that I have with the Joker. He's my soulmate; I know he is because I recognize his voice in my head. I haven't heard it in weeks but that's not really surprising because I've gone longer without hearing it. I just wish that I could hear him now so that I can be reassured that he's the one. But of course, even in this area of our relationship the Joker has to be uncooperative.

Why is he so different? Why can't he look at me the way Guy looks at Sarah. When Guy looks at Sarah, it's like she's the only girl who exists in his world. It does make me feel lonely but it also makes me feel really happy for him too. I just wish that the Joker would give me some hint that he's as interested in me as I am in him. A simple love-sick glance or a few sweet words would definitely do. I guess what I want most right now is to feel loved. I have my soulmate, and yet I've never felt more alone and unloved in my life.

When dinner is done, Guy drops me off at the apartment and then drives Sarah home. I go straight to my room and lay awake on my bed. I just can't shake this feeling in me. There's something about the Joker and I that just isn't right. Guy and Sarah are not the only pair of soulmates that I've seen. Whenever I see other people interacting with their soulmates, they always have this romantic love-sick atmosphere about them. What the Joker and I have isn't normal.

Hmmm…. I roll over on my bed and grab my laptop from my bedside table. I want to do some research.

I remember in high school, there was a website that everybody used to answer all of the questions that they had about how the whole soulmate relationship worked. I never used it because I couldn't even hear my other voice until I was twenty; so as far as I was concerned, I didn't have a soulmate.

I type in the name that I remember in the search engine and then click on the first link that takes me straight to the site. Okay… let's see… The Other Voice and You, no. My Thoughts Aren't Private?, no. Someone Destined for Me, no. Finding Your Other Half, no; I found mine already. The Soulmate Connection, yes! Click!

Alright, let's see…

The connection that you have with your soulmate is a deep one… skip, skip, skip. I know this already… Ah! Here we go.

…An immediate attachment to one another is formed after the first encounter. This is an inevitable trait between soulmates. So does that mean that the Joker is attached to me? Somehow I find that hard to believe but it says here that that sort of thing is inevitable, so he must feel something for me.

A fierce faithful commitment to your partner is another important trait between a pair of soulmates. Infidelity is impossible. I guess he'll never cheat on me. And if I ever wanted to move on, I wouldn't be able to…

The question of whether true love always blossoms between a pair of soulmates is a question that is asked often by young individuals. The idea of unconditional love existing for every person on Earth is a difficult concept to fully grasp. But rest assured, this fact is undeniably true. No records in human history recount a pair of soulmates that did not love each other immensely. We can therefore safely assume that all individuals are fated to feel nothing but a deep love for their other half. Emotions such as hatred, boredom, and mistrust do not exist between soulmates. Such emotions are impossible to feel towards your significant other.

Oh my gosh… I'm so happy that I read this! This means that the Joker loves me, doesn't it? It's impossible for him to ever hate me, or get bored of me; that's super reassuring. We're destined to fall deeply in love with each other. I hug myself. This knowledge makes me so happy!

But what the site doesn't mention is if this love we're supposed to have blossoms immediately after meeting? What if the Joker doesn't have these feeling for me yet? Hmm… let's see, it does have more to say about the emotions in the relationship.

…it is only normal where such things must be considered. As for the unconditional love aspect of the relationship, this is yet another true trait that exists between a pair of soulmates. An unshakeable love is the fruit of the other-worldly connection that exists between pairs. This connection plays deeply into the relationship of soulmates. Emotions are typically linked together through this connection and are shared equally by both parties. That isn't to say that if one person should feel agitated at something that transpired outside of their relationship, the other will feel that same agitation. The connection does not stem further than anything that does not concern one soulmate with the other. This simply means that any emotions that one person has for their significant other is shared by their partner. The love and adoration felt by one soulmate for the other, is mutual. The depth of love and respect that is shared between a couple grows together between both persons at the same rate. These emotions are shared equally and grow and develop stronger within a couple, the more time they put into their relationship, until a deep and undeniable love is finally understood between both parties.

Wow… So whatever I feel towards the Joker, he feels the same towards me? That concept is… really hard to grasp. We share our emotions for each other equally… I didn't know that. This changes things.

My lips pull up at the corners in a slow, smooth smile.

Oh, this definitely changes things.

If whatever I feel for the Joker is mutual, then I can use this to my advantage. Looking at this from a psychological perspective makes everything clear. The uncertainty of our relationship, the frustration of not being able to make much progress, the mixed emotions of loving someone so different from myself. These worries aren't just my own. They are equal contributions of the Joker's same emotions. He feels the exact same way that I do, but from a different perspective.

I have been uncertain about this relationship since day one; I've always tried to keep my guard up. Therefore, the Joker has also been keeping his up. He's been pushing me away and not letting me get close because I too have been doing the same to him. Whenever he asks me a question about myself that is too personal, I do my best not to answer it. Him pushing me away is also the product of the frustration at the whole relationship. Honestly, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared about loving a man like him. He must feel the same way. He's afraid to fall in love so he's trying to keep me at arm's length so that he can drive away the growing feeling of attachment that has been slowly and quietly developing between the two of us. And then of course the fact that we are two completely different people plays greatly into this fear. I'm trying desperately to change him into being someone normal, like me. And he, in turn is doing the same. That's why he takes the time to share his theories and ideas with me; he wants me to see the world through his perspective and be more like him. Perhaps if we were to just accept the way the other is, then things could progress between the two of us. But that is the most difficult part of our relationship because it seems that neither of us is brave enough to accept the way the other is. He is a murder. Believe it or not, I don't hate him for the things he's done (apparently, I can't ever hate him…). And I'm not even phased by the gruesome things that he is capable of; they don't deter my feelings for him in the slightest. But that doesn't mean that I approve of them. How can I be with someone who so freely plays with people's lives for his own entertainment? This is the hurdle that the Joker and I need to get past. I don't know how we're going to do it, but with time, I hope we can figure it out.

For now, I suppose I could stop trying to change him. Just for a bit. After all, my job is to cure him of his insanity. I still plan on doing that, I'm just going to take a different approach. I've been defensive and a bit obvious of my disapproval of some of his most… harsh perspectives. If I just try to understand the appeal in his lifestyle then perhaps, in time, I could find openings where I can counter his preferences with healthier choices that are just as appealing to him. I think of it as working on the inside; going behind enemy lines to corrupt the entire system from its core. I believe this approach will progress both our standing in therapy and the conditions of our relationship.

And on that note, another thought has just occurred to me; if the Joker and I share the same emotions towards one another, then does that mean that he would get just as flustered as I do when he flirts with me? Hmmm… The thought makes me smile. I know it's inappropriate for a doctor to flirt with her patient. But perhaps trying it just once -just to prove this theory- wouldn't hurt.

Therapy time!

This morning I woke up with this surge of confidence. I can't wait to get this ball rolling. I stride into the therapy room suavely in my signature black stilettos and take my seat opposite my patient. I should also mention that I decided to wear my hair down today. Something I haven't done since I started working here. My golden waves pool over my shoulders to dangle carelessly every which way they may. I smile warmly at the Joker whose eyes widen the tiniest fraction at seeing me. If I had blinked at that moment, I would have missed it.

"Good afternoon Mr. J. How are you today?"

The Joker raises his alabaster eyebrows at me and releases a low "wow" whistle. "Much better now that you're here, doctor."

I smile. "I'm glad to hear that. Shall we get started?" The Joker smiles with guarded eyes. He seems to be a bit suspicious of me today. "So, what's on your mind today Mr. J? Anything specific you want to talk about? Or should I start us off?"

"Weeellllll, aren't we eager today," The Joker breathes. "You know; I don't appreciate the extra guards you had set up outside of my cell.

I toss my hair over my shoulder. "What makes you think that I sanctioned that?"

The Joker looks at me and seems to personify the word 'seriously' without saying it.

I mask my amusement terribly. "I'm pleading the fifth on this subject."

The Joker smiles to himself. "You didn't want me leaving huh? You must reeeally like me. You'd miss me if I leave, wouldn't you?" He jokes.

"I wouldn't say that," I reply coolly. "It's more like, I'd miss the chance to study someone like you." Yes, I'm lying right now.

The Joker cackles. "Oh… Dr. Quinzel, you are a terrible liar."

I prop my elbow on the table and rest my head in my hand. "Am I? Maybe you're just a terrible lie detector."

The Joker erupts in laughter. "Oh, I doubt that." A couple of strands of the Joker's hair come out of place. He smooths them back into place as best as he can with both of his hands handcuffed together. He then looks at me dubiously. "What's with you today doc? You seem… different."

"Do I?" I grab a strand of my hair and look at the tips. "Maybe it's the hair?"

"No, no, no," the Joker says hurriedly. "It's not that. You're acting different."

I shrug my shoulders. "What can I say? I woke up on the right side of the bed today."

The Joker eyes me skeptically. "Hmmm… Are you hiding something from me doctor?"

I smile to myself. "Of course not."

The Joker leans back in his chair seeming half convinced.

I should probably take this opportunity to steer the conversation in a different direction. "So, Mr. J. How have you been feeling these days? It's come to my attention that you aren't currently being medicated are you? Do you feel you need medication? Have your moods been unstable recently?"

The Joker smiles and stretches his arms out over the table and towards me. He seems to bask in the feel of his lean muscles expanding in the stretch. "Oh I'm fine Dr. Quinzel. But I wouldn't mind you slipping me a drug or two anyway."

"I just might." I grab his hands quickly, without thinking; examining his fingers and palms. "Look at you, I didn't think it was possible but you seem paler. Have you been eating okay?" My concern is sincere and it made react without thinking. I'm not supposed to be touching him. When I first made contact with his skin, the Joker's entire body went stiff and he regarded me with wide cautious eyes. But he didn't pull away from my touch.

This gets me thinking… Maybe now is my chance…

I look up into the Joker's eyes and find cloudy blue orbs staring directly into mine. His stare doesn't waver and is completely undisturbed by the obstruction of his eyelids. I realize that he hasn't answered my question. "Mr. J? Did you hear me? I asked whether or not you've been eating okay." He remains silent and continues to stare at me in that strange manner. The way he looks right now… you would think that he's afraid I might hurt him. I look back at his hands held firmly in my own. I release one so that I can trace the other with my free hand. When my fingertips make contact with his palm, he flinches and blinks a couple of times.

"Look at how pale you've gotten Mr. J. And your fingers… you're skin and bones…" I say absentmindedly, continuously tracing the lines and curves of his palm. I let my fingers follow his life line and onto his veins which are fairly visible underneath his alabaster skin. Using a bit of pressure, I can feel his pulse pumping a bit too quickly; but only a bit. I lean forward a bit, keeping my hands where they are and resting my weight on my elbows. Making sure that I don't lose his pulse, I look up into the Joker's eyes which are much closer now than they were before. "Joker?" His blood pumps quicker underneath my fingertips when I say his name. "Are you alright? Your heart is racing." Keeping my eyes locked on his, I let myself smile slowly and a bit deviously at him. The Joker's eyebrows furrow immediately into a look of annoyance and he pulls his hands harshly away from my grasp. He clenches the hand than I was tracing and shoots me a frustrated look.

Ah, this is what I wanted. To see that look on his face that he always seems to bring out in me. I can see why he likes to do bring that part out of me. He looks so adorable all mad and huffy and I detect the slightest hint of embarrassment. He's too cute right now I can't help but giggle. The Joker's frustrated look grows deeper at the sound of my laughter. He leans over the table towards me and says through gritted teeth, "What's so funny, doc?"

His menacing look does nothing to deter me. I continue giggling to myself. I realize that the reason I can't stop my giggles is because right now, I'm happy. I'm over the moon happy. I'm completely elated. I finally have the confirmation I've been searching for. He's attracted to me. The Joker is actually attracted to me. I can affect him the way he does me. The proof was in his pulse and the adorable look on his face afterwards. Now that I know that we're on the same playing field, suddenly, his anger doesn't shake me quite as much as it did before; especially given this circumstance.

While doing a terrible job of controlling my giggles, I manage to answer him. "I'm sorry Mr. J. I swear, I'm not laughing at you. It's just that-" I stop myself to catch my breath. "I was enjoying my own little inside joke."

The Joker's alabaster eyebrows shoot up. "Oh! An inside joke," he lightly smacks his forehead. "Of course you were laughing at an inside joke. How silly of me to assume otherwise. You know, I love inside jokes Harleen. Care to share yours with me?"

I smile a bit deviously at him. "Nah. You wouldn't get it… Not yet anyway."

There's a knock at the door and after a moment, Jerry pops his head in the room. "Hey Dr. Quinzel. you're going to have to cut this session short. This week's cell checks for maximum security is going to happen earlier today because of the pipe work they're going to do on the upper levels."

"Oh alright Jerry. We're just about done here anyway." I turn to look at the Joker and smile at him once I've gathered my papers together and risen from my seat. "Mr. J, I think today's session went well. I look forward to our next one."

The Joker smiles but it doesn't touch his eyes. His eyes never leave me until I've exited the room. The guards follow into the session as soon as I step out. When I turn the corner and make sure no one is around to see me, I do a small triumphant fist pump in the air and smile to myself. Hugging my files close, my stilettos click away against the floor, leading me out of maximum security.

AN: Yeah... sorry for the long wait. I'm really trying people. School takes up way too much of my time. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I swear that I'll do my best to upload the next one as soon as possible. Thanks for your cooperation and thanks for sticking with this story thus far; it means a lot to me. :)