Chapter Eleven:

Unexpected Gift

I cannot keep myself from laughing.

"Okay, okay, wait," I say through breathless giggles. "So you mean to tell me that the guy didn't even see it coming?"

"Nope," says the Joker with his silver toothed grin. "I came up from behind, tapped his shoulder, and BLAM!" He slams both hands down roughly on the table. "I sock him with a freshly baked raspberry pie."

I erupt with laughter, and the Joker joins in. His stories can be too funny sometimes. He has such a comical theatrical way of dealing with things that most of the time, I can't even suppress my amusement; like right now. But of course, this always wears off when he gets to this inevitable part of his story-

"If you think the pie to the face was funny, you can't even imagine how hilarious the bomb to the face was!" Yup. Whenever he gets to the core of the story -i.e. the actual crime- my enthusiasm drops and my concern builds for his growth of enthusiasm whenever he reaches this part of the story. His eyes glimmer and his hands wave about as his mind delves further away from me and further into his memory. "It was in the pie! And when it hit -BOOM! Red everywhere! And let me tell you doc, it wasn't all raspberry juice," he winks. Okay. That last bit was funny; I'll give him that.

I don't laugh, but I do smile. I'm trying to be opened minded about these things. I don't want to be judgy. "Jeez Mr. J, you have such a theatrical way of performing even the most brutal things. Is there a reason for that?"

The Joker smoothed his hair back and then shrugged. "I like to be creative. Anyone can kill. But-" He pauses to wave his hand vaguely in the air; trying to come up with the right words. "It takes a certain kind of person to do it in a way that hasn't been done before."

I tap my pen to my bottom lip pensively. "I see your point. Anyone can put a bullet to a brain, but a pie-bomb to the face? I have to say; I've never heard anyone do that. Well, except for maybe Tom and Jerry, or someone from Loony Tunes."

The Joker laughs heartily and it's infectious; I join in. "You're funny Harleen. Has anyone ever told you that?"

I smile, amused at his comment, and prop my elbow on the table and rest my head in my hand. "No, not really. I guess you're one of the very few people who sees the humor in the things that I say." Guy and Sarah are also pretty good at laughing at the things that I say; in a good way, of course.

The Joker sighs and leans back in his chair, stretching both arms over the table. "Well," he drawls. "Most people in this city have a terrible sense of humor anyway. So, don't beat yourself up over it kid."

"Thanks," I say sarcastically. "I'll try not to."

So, it's been a month since I've started to feel confident about my connection with the Joker. Ever since I did that online research, I've been pretty comfortable about socializing with him. And of course the more comfortable I got, the more comfortable he got. We've been getting along really well these past four weeks. He hasn't made fun of me not once! That is a huge improvement in my book.

As of late, I've been doing my best to ignore the unsettling feeling in my chest that I get every time the Joker talks about something gruesome. I'm honestly trying to see things through his perspective, but it's difficult. I am getting a little more comfortable with the topic, but only a little. My concern for his lost sanity prevents me from fully comprehending the thrill of brutally murdering someone. Again, I'm not trying to be judgy, I'm just saying that I don't understand the appeal. To avoid being judgmental, I've decided to avoid asking questions like, 'why do you kill people?' or 'don't you feel any remorse?' Instead, I ask questions that stimulate the conversation and keep him animated and interested. Doing this seems to work well. We've had some pretty lengthy and entertaining conversations about the strangest things. For now, I don't mind keeping this up. It's helping me bring myself closer to him.

A sudden knock on the door announces the end to our therapy session. Not quite able to believe that an hour and a half has gone by already, I check my watch on my wrist.

"Time flies, huh doc?" Says the Joker, arms crossed.

"It sure does. This session felt like it was ten minutes long." I toss my hair over my shoulder and gather up my notes. Rising from my seat and moving towards the door, I make sure to give him a good, warm smile before I leave. "Alright Mr. J, I look forward to picking this up again next time."

"Likewise, Harleen." He puts a bit of emphasis on my name and smiles. I smile back out of courtesy and then leave the room. The orderlies shuffle in to collect the Joker as soon as I step out.

If I am being very honest with myself, I love it when he calls Harleen. It's just so much more personal and intimate than 'doc'; I actually hate it when he calls me that. It really bugs me for some reason. So, I've made it a guilty pleasure of mine to allow him to call me by my first name. Under no circumstances are doctors to permit their patients to call them by their informal name, but I think that as long as no one else hears him call me Harleen, we should be fine. After all, what harm does it do to any of us? If anything, it allows us to share a more intimate relationship that will only prove fruitful in the long run. I just wish that I knew his real name too so that I can use it. But I'm comforted by the fact that he told me to call him Mr. J, and that's something that no one else does; so in a way, this could be his form of first name basis.

I'll take it.

After finally exiting maximum security and reaching the main floor, I have to maneuver my way through yet another series of hallways to get to the elevator that leaves me the closest to my office. I'm not particularly fond of this elevator though. The nicer, newer ones are located near the main hall entrance of the asylum; they're much faster. This elevator is very slow and outdated but my office is almost right around the corner from it. Plus, no one hardly uses it; because it's so slow…

I hit the button calling the elevator to take me up, when I hear a pair of quiet feet shuffling closer towards me. When the person's shuffling reaches the corner of the hallway behind me I turn to find the familiar face of Dr. Joan Leland greeting me with a bright smile. "Dr. Quinzel," she says pleasantly surprised. "I didn't think anyone used this elevator anymore. It's funny that I should bump into you here."

"I agree. That's the reason I use this elevator; because no one else does." Dr. Leland laughs courteously and I can't help but let my eyes drift to her stomach. "Speaking of bumps," I say pointing at her belly. "Yours is coming along nicely."

Dr. Leland smiles proudly and places a hand over her baby bump to caress it fondly. "Thank you, more and more people are starting to take notice. I'm still pretty small though, so you must have a keen eye Harleen."

I wave away the notion. "Nah. If you hadn't told me weeks ago that you were pregnant, I probably wouldn't even have noticed." The elevator finally dings and I place my hand over one side of the elevator's openings to let Dr. Leland step in first without having the doors close in on her. She thanks me and I step in after her. We each hit different buttons and wait as the elevator slowly ascends.

"So Harleen, I hear that you've been making some progress with patient 4479. I'm proud of you for sticking with his case and believing in your own abilities. I still remember the day where you first asked me to take him on as your patient. I was so frightened for you. I'm glad that I was wrong about you. It's been wonderful having you in this facility."

I smile at Dr. Leland's kind and honest words. "Aw thank you Joan. I enjoy working with you and everyone else here too. I can't imagine working anywhere else."

"I know what you mean. I enjoy what I do here too. That's why I'm reluctant to take my maternity leave when the time comes. I think I'll go mad staying home and doing nothing all day."

"Ah, that's what you say now, but once you start relaxing…" I sigh blissfully. "You're going to wish that you never had to work another day in your life."

"So either way missing work will be bad for me huh? I'll either go mad or turn lazy and never want to go back. Maybe I shouldn't leave…" She teases and I laugh. Dr. Leland is a somewhat serious kind of person and I love it when she's playful. This pregnancy is having a surprisingly positive effect on her; I thought they normally did the opposite to woman…

The elevator finally dings and arrives on my floor. I turn to say a quick goodbye. "Alright Joan, I'll see you around. Take it easy okay?"

She smiles, "Thank you Harleen. I will, I promise." Then the elevator closes leaving me in the hallway alone.

Keeping my files at hand close, I start walking down the hall to reach my office around the corner. But as soon as I turn the corner, I notice that my door is ajar. I know I didn't lock it before I left, but I did close it; for sure. I wonder if a certain someone has finally left me another present! I've been WAITING for this!

A small little voice in the back of my head is chiding me for getting so excited over someone breaking and entering into my personal space; but of course, I'm too excited to listen to it. I hurriedly tug at my clothes, making sure everything's in place, and I brush a lock of my hair away from my face with my fingertips. Why am I fixing my appearance? I have no clue. It's not like he's in there; I just saw him downstairs.

I roll my eyes, annoyed at myself. I swear, sometimes, I scare myself with how love-sick I am… But then I'm comforted by the fact that he's my soulmate, so, these feelings and dumb line of thinking are unavoidable… But still! I swear I'm smarter than this!

Anyway… I practical run to my door, eager to see what's waiting for me on the other side. I swing open my door in a flash, wearing a huge excited smile-

It disappears immediately when I see Dr. Arkham sitting and waiting at my desk. He was evidently surprised by how suddenly I entered the room. He jumped slightly in his seat when I flung the door open. He obviously noticed my excitement leave my face at the sight of him because a slight apologetic smirk painted his face. "Sorry for coming in unannounced Dr. Quinzel. You were expecting someone else, I presume?"

I sigh to myself and move to close the door behind me. I mumble, speaking more to myself than to him. "Not someone, just something…" Realizing that I'm being rude by not addressing him properly, I speak in a clearer more direct tone. "Don't worry Dr. Arkham, it's always a pleasure to see you. Now tell me-" I move around my desk to drop myself in my seat. "To what do I owe this rare and honorable visit?"

"To yourself I suppose. I'm here to congratulate you."

I look at him puzzled. "Congratulate me? What have I done?"

Dr. Arkham smirks as though I'm missing something obvious. "I'm here to commend you on the progress that you've made with the Joker."

"Oh," I say dumbly. If I think about it though, I haven't made much progress with him; medically speaking of course. He hasn't told me anything about his past life, I haven't been able to diagnose him with anything concrete, and -most importantly- his violent outlook on life hasn't change at all. So, what progress is he talking about? "I'm sorry but could you be more specific doctor because if I'm being honest, I haven't made any significant progress with my patient."

"Why of course you have. You're still alive, aren't you? That's more than most of his previous doctors can say." I stare at him baffled. Is he seriously here just to congratulate me for being alive? I guess I understood it when he and Dr. Leland did it after my first session, but now? Now it just seems ridiculous; I've been the Joker's doctor for months now? Why the sudden praise?

"Well, I guess, there is truth in that, but I'm afraid I still don't understand. Is that really why you're congratulating me? For still being alive?"

Dr. Arkham laughs. "Well, that and there has been some notable improvement in patient 4479's behavior. He's eating more, for one. And the orderlies have noticed that he's been causing less harm to himself. I don't know what you're doing, but whatever it is keep it up. I know it may seem silly to applaud your work when compared to other patients, the Joker has made very little progress; But you must understand that as little as this may seem, it is a milestone when it comes to patient 4479. No one has been able to get this far as you have; and that deserves praise. I just wanted to let you know that although you may not feel that your patient isn't progressing, he is; I can assure you. Slowly but surely. I wanted to make sure that you will keep doing things just as you have been. I don't want you to change tactics because you feel that your current methods aren't working. They are; so, please don't change anything."

Ah, I see now… "Well, thank you Dr. Arkham. I'll admit I'm a bit surprised by the sudden praise but, pleasantly surprised. Thank you. It feels good to have my work recognized and I really appreciate you coming over here and telling me this, it means a lot."

Dr. Arkham smiles. "Your welcome Harleen. I'm proud of the work that you're doing." He rises from his seat and I stand too because it feels rude to stay seated when he isn't. "You'll continue doing what you're doing, won't you?"

I smile assuredly. "Of course Dr. Arkham. If you think what I'm doing is working, then I promise I won't change a thing."

"Thank you," He extends his hand to me and I take it. He shakes it firmly for a good second. "I'm glad I hired you," he says proudly before releasing my hand. He turns to exit my office and says over his shoulder, "Keep up the good work Harleen."

"…Thanks." I say to the now empty room. Jeez, that was unexpected. It almost seemed like he had another reason for being here, but I have no idea what that reason is… Oh well, I'm just glad that he's happy with my work. If only he knew… What's been helping me get along with the Joker is not questioning his peculiar views. It's a tactic that no psychiatrist should really take, but, if that's what my boss wants then who am I to disobey?

There's a huge cheshire grin on my face from how conveniently this whole situation is working out for me. It should be a crime for how easily I'm getting away with not technically doing my job. (Though I am doing it in a very weird way because apparently progress is being made… (You know what this whole situation is just too confusing so I'm just going to be grateful that everything is working out)).

To be honest, I'm still a bit upset that there wasn't anything from the Joker waiting for me in my office. I know! I know! I'm so selfish, but I can't help it! I know that I was being too hopeful, but, I figured since we've been getting along so well lately, that maybe… I don't know. I guess that my hopes are way higher than I want them to be. I need to work on bringing my expectations down a couple of notches because I have a terrible habit of getting carried away. And plus, I don't need any gift or anything anyway. The Joker and I are good right now; and that's all that matters.

State Street is bustling. Guy, Sarah, and I decided to spend our evening in the shopping district. My wardrobe needed an update, and Sarah was more than willing to help; and of course, where Sarah goes, Guy goes too. We had hit six different stores already and we had fourteen different bags to carry. Since Guy made the unfortunate decision to join us on our shopping spree, we made him our mule and forced him to carry eight of the fourteen bags. They weren't particularly heavy so I didn't really feel too sorry for him.

"Alright, I think we should give Guy a break." Sarah said, feeling sympathetic for her boyfriend. "Don't you think Harleen?"

"Sure, if you'd like." As we walk down the side walk, I stop and set my bags down on the next available bench that we approach. Sarah gently sets her bags aside and joins me, while Guy roughly drops his bags down and plops himself heavily next to Sarah. I can't help but lean over Sarah to regard him smugly.

"Aw, what's the matter tough guy? A couple of bags weighing you down?" I smile teasingly, propping my head on my fist.

Guy shoots me a look. "I'm only having a hard time because I haven't eaten yet, okay?"

My smile widens. "Suuuuuuurrree, that's why."

Between Guy and I, Sarah smiles amusedly at our banter. She reaches over to stroke the back of Guy's neck affectionately. "We probably should stop and eat something already. It's getting late."

Guy places his hand on Sarah's knee and squeezes lightly. "Always looking out, huh?"

"Of course." Sarah beams and moves to plant a soft kiss on his lips. I roll my eyes and look anywhere but at them. Sometimes I find their affection for each other to be adorable, but other times -like now- it annoys me.

I watch a listless amount of people pass us by and step into several different shops across the street. There's something therapeutic about watching people bustle to and fro. For a moment, I get lost in the sight of the differentiated people, when a small neon sign steals my attention. It's hung on a small building sandwiched in between two much taller buildings and reads in bright blue letters, Al's Joke Shop. The windows display a whole bunch of colorful little knick knacks that I can't identify from this distance. The little shop is so subtly peculiar that I find it immediately intriguing. I've never seen a gag shop before. I wonder if Mr. J would appreciate a place like this.

"-Harleen?" Guy pulls me out of my train of thought.

"Yeah?"

Guy furrows his eyebrows in concern. "You alright? You left me talking to myself for a while there."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. What were you saying?"

"Sarah and I want to grab a bite to eat at the Olive Garden we parked next to. Are you okay with going there for dinner?"

"Yeah, sure." I pause and look back at the little shop across the street, debating whether or not I should even bother. "You know what, can you guys wait here for me for a second? I just want to grab one last thing across the street before we go."

Sarah waves me away encouragingly. "Of course; we'll wait here."

"You okay with watching the bags?" I ask, already on my feet.

"Yup," says Guy assuredly, but I'm already walking away from them and crossing the street.

Standing before the building, I peer through the glass and past the knick knacks to survey the inside. The lights are on but no one is inside. The sign hanging on the door says they're open, so I tentatively climb the three steps leading up to the door and give it a little nudge open to poke my head inside to really check the place out. It's exactly what I'd imagine a gag store to look like, only a bit more colorful. The entire place is decorated with different gadgets and gizmos; I can't tell what half of the stuff is from where I'm standing. So, I decide the place is good enough for me to fully step into. I open the door briskly and a bell chimes announcing my arrival. To my surprise, no one rushes over to attend the register, …or me. I'm the only one in the shop.

I feel like I should just leave and try coming back another day when someone is here, but… I'm already here so I might as well have a look around. Plus, if customers really weren't allowed in, they would have locked the door.

The shop is as small on the inside as it is on the outside. There's only three aisles but they are packed to the brim with different merchandise. Against the farthest wall, I see wigs and masks galore. The left side of the center aisle is full of board games; they have the usual games like monopoly and twister, but there are a whole lot of games that I have never even heard of. This first aisle has a lot of interesting things in it, like bacon strip bandages, 1st anniversary toilet paper, plastic poop and vomit, joke boxes, shock toys, bald brushes, a large assortment of funny mugs, pet sweeps, squirt cameras, etc. There's a whole bunch of cool weird stuff here. I spot some cute closed umbrellas in the corner that have beautiful patterns decorated on them, but upon closer inspection, I can see that they have holes poked into them. That would actually make a pretty cute prank, I should buy one for Guy.

Across from the wigs and masks they have an assortment of different T-shirts and shoes. They have sweeper shoes! I wonder if they really work…

EW! They have a pair of shoes made out of pads! Are they real pads? I grab one and give it a gentle squeeze. Nope, not real pads. They're actual slippers with a pad design printed on them. You know, maybe now that I know that they're not real, I'm starting to think they're cute; They have a cute little ribbon on them. But I won't go so far as to buy them.

They have some pretty funny T-shirts. I'm definitely going to come back when Guy's birthday is around the corner. They have a lot of chemistry joke shirts and even some pervy joke shirts. Each shirt is funnier than the last, but this one is by far my favorite, sex instructor: first lesson free. I love it! But of course, if I were to get it, I would never wear it outside of the house.

I walk over to the counter to see the smaller knick knacks presented behind the glass. They have a lot of costume makeup here and most of this stuff is top notch; There's a lot of Ben Nye and Paradise products. There's also whoopee cushions, playing cards, funny fake ID's, different candies, fake sticks of gum, different key chains, different pins, weird pens, fake cigarettes, chattering teeth… WAIT! One of those chattering teeth is silver plated! It reminds me so much of the Joker's smile, I have to get it! It also has this adorable large bronze wind up on the back of it that gives it a hint of a vintage style. It's so cute and perfect; how could I not get this?

I look over the counter again and see a bell to ring for customer service. I was just about to tap it when I remember that this is a gag shop. What if it's a buzzer toy or something? It probably isn't, but it doesn't hurt to play it safe. I grab one of the wooden bald brushes from the first aisle and use it to give the bell a tap. It chimes sharply and I wait a minute to listen for any bustling sounds coming from the backroom behind the counter. After a while I don't hear anything, so I tap the bell with the brush six times and yell, "Hello? Is anyone here?" If no one is really here, then I'm not above just hopping over this counter and taking the teeth without paying. I want them that badly.

A moment before I decide to just grab the teeth and go, I hear a toilet flush in the backroom. It takes a minute or two for the man to step through the back entrance and appear behind the counter. He's pretty young. He looks like he's in his early thirties. He's a brunette with a purposefully short trimmed curl-tipped mustache. Surprisingly, he pulls the look off. His hands fumble underneath his red flannel shirt to adjust his belt. He's too focused on fixing it that he speaks to me without breaking his concentration on the task at hand.

"Sorry about that. I fell asleep on the john. How can I help-" He finally looks at me and then immediately stops messing with his belt. "Wow…" He says under his breath and adjusts his shirt hurriedly while straightening himself out. "I'm so sorry. I was… busy… in the back-"

"Using the john?" I cut him off and smile teasingly. "You really shouldn't announce that kind of stuff to just anyone you know."

He blushes lightly and cringes a bit. "I am so sorry. I had no idea that…" He clears his throat. "You know what, let's just forget about that, I won't do it again." He waves away the thought. "Now, how can I help you?"

"Okay… I want to see those silver platted teeth behind the counter please."

"Of course. You've got a good eye. These are the best chattering teeth we carry." He reaches beneath the counter and pulls the teeth out.

"I believe it. It's adorable." I take the teeth from him and give them a closer inspection. They remind me so much of the Joker's smile; I love it. I give it a little wind up and watch it chatter away in the palm of my hand. I wasn't planning on it, but you know what, I want to give this to him as a gift. I think he'll love it as much as I do. Plus, it's only fair that I get him something this time. And my gift is so much better than his; his died after all.

"Alright, I'm sold. I'll take 'em."

"Cool. Let me ring it up for you." I hand over the teeth and look around to see if I see anything else that I want. …My mind drifts back to the T-shirt.

"Wait, I want to get something else too." I rush over to grab the sex instructor T-shirt in my size and bring it back to the cashier. I can't help it. I like the shirt. I'll just wear it on rare occasions.

When I hand it back to him, he raises his eyebrows at me. I shrug my shoulders. "It was the funniest shirt. I can't help it."

He lifts his hands up defensively. "I didn't say anything."

I watch him bag my stuff up and then give him the amount of money he asks for.

"So," I say before he hands me my bag. "Are you Al?"

He laughs and shakes his head. "No, there is no Al."

"What? Then why call it Al's Joke Shop?"

He shrugs. "Al's Joke Shop sounds better than Sammy's Joke Shop."

…I don't really hear the preference. They both sound pretty equal to me. If I had a shop, I'd rather have it named after me than some other random name. "I take it you're Sammy?"

"Yup." He hands me my bag. "And you are?"

His fingers lingered for a moment. "My name's Harleen."

"Harleen? What a beautiful name. I've never heard it before, what is it?"

"I have no clue. I can never answer that question. It's probably just something that my mom made up."

"Oh that sucks. But you know what, I think the same way about my name. I mean come on, Sammy? Where does that come from?"

I can't help but laugh. Since I started talking to the Joker, I've developed a new appreciation for jokes and comedy in general. Laughing has been coming way easier to me lately.

"Yeah, Sammy is way more unique than Harleen."

"Yeah, it is." He says a bit awkwardly, not really sure how to continue speaking to me. I decide to start ending this conversion before this silent pause gets too weird.

"Well, thanks Sammy. Your shop is really cool."

"Thanks, your business is welcome here anytime. I'm always here… just so you know."

I smile kindly at his awkwardness. "Good to know." I start walking towards the door and wave back to him before I leave. "I'll see you around Sammy."

I'm kind of nervous to give the Joker my gift. What if he doesn't like it? I think it's adorable but what if he finds it offensive? Maybe he doesn't want to be reminded of the fact that he doesn't have real teeth anymore. I should have thought this through before I bought it. But I guess if he doesn't want it, I can always keep it. It reminds me so much of him.

I grab the teeth from my desk drawer and hide it in one of my inner pockets of my lab coat. We aren't exactly allowed to give anything to our patients around here; but it's not like they really check us to see if we're packing anything anyway.

I start heading down to maximum security, and the closer I get to my destination, the more nervous I get. I might just chicken out and not even mention that I got him something. This is a bit out of the blue after all. This is probably going to be weird. But I'm going to do it anyway. I want to make him smile.

When I arrive outside of the therapy room, Jerry and Lyle greet me warmly, as usual.

"Hi Dr. Quinzel," says Lyle.

"Good morning Doctor Q," says Jerry. "How are you today?"

I smile at the two orderlies. "I'm doing good; thanks for asking. What about you guys? Any new bets going on?"

"Of course there is," Lyle answers immediately and unenthusiastically. "There always is with this guy around." He points to Jerry. "I think he has a problem."

Jerry laughs heartily. "If I've got a problem then you do too Bolton. You're always bettin' against me."

"He's got a point Lyle." I intercede. I like getting in between their back and forth, and to be honest, it's a good distraction right now. They've calmed my nerves enough. "Alright boys, I've got my patient waiting for me over there, so I won't keep him waiting."

"Go on," says Jerry. "Go do your job and we'll do ours."

I smile and push past them. "Thanks guys." When I open the door, the Joker is busy picking his nails, but he stops immediately when his eyes meet mine.

"Harleen. It's good to see ya kiddo."

"Good afternoon Mr. J," I greet him with my best smile and take my seat opposite him. "How are you today?"

"Oh, you know," he waves his hand vaguely in the air. "The usual case of dementia and bipolar disorder are giving me my usual daily challenges but other than that…"

I give him my 'are you serious look.' "Will you stop mocking your default diagnosis? I should have never told you…"

The Joker grins and rests his chin on his propped, folded hands. "You know doc, you've never told me what your diagnosis of me is."

I give him my secret smile and busy myself with opening up my notebook and uncapping my pen. The man is an utter enigma to me. I don't want him to know that I can't figure him out. Even though I'm pretty sure he already knows that…

The Joker drops his hands on the table and pouts. "Won't you tell me doc?"

I roll my eyes playfully. "Of course not."

He pulls his lip back into a frown and furrows his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Because." I say petulantly.

"Because…" He drawls, rolling his hand impatiently in the air, gesturing for me to continue.

"Just because." I say dismissively.

The Joker grunts grumpily, leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. "You're going to have to do better than that Harleen." He says a bit too darkly. He doesn't like it when I keep information from him.

I've got to think of a way to dodge this. If I ignore it, he'll get even angrier. If I change the subject, he'll just reel the conversation back. He's way too smart to be tricked into forgetting this, so maybe I can bargain with him…

I smile cheekily. "I'll tell you what Mr. J. If you drop this, I'll reward you with something nice." I sing the last word. I'm a bit nervous about this, but somehow, sitting here with him now; I know he'll love it.

He perks up immediately but there is definite caution in his eyes. He uncrosses his arms and sits up straight. "Reward me?" He says gruffly. "With what?"

"Ah, but that would ruin the element of surprise wouldn't it?"

"Hmm…" He strokes his chin pensively, but I can't tell if he's really thinking about this or just being theatrical, as always. "I can't say I'm not intrigued…"

"Well then," I lean over the table and prop my elbows on the hard steel surface, entwining my fingers together and resting my chin over them; a Cheshire grin tugs my lips into place. "Why not live a little on the wild side and just gamble with this one Mr. J? What's the worst that could happen?"

The Joker smiles wickedly, loving my enticing side. "Weeelllll, let me think… I could be missing out on some juicy information…"

"Juicy?" I snort. "Trust me when I say that you're not missing out on much in that department." He seriously isn't. I've got nothing.

"Hmmm… Okay Harleen. I'll play your game."

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Really? You won't ask me about your diagnosis anymore?"

The Joker breathes heavily. "I guess not," he says gravelly.

"Perfect." I chime. "Then I guess you've earned this." I fish out his gift from my inner pocket but before I pull it out into view, my eyes dart to the door to make sure that the orderlies aren't peering into the room. They aren't of course; they trust me too much. With the coast clear, I place the gift in the center of the table. A brown little box with a blue bow sits before the Joker, awaiting judgment. I nervously tuck away a strand of loose hair behind my ear. "I uh- hope you like it. I picked it out myself…"

The Joker looks at the gift, then back at me, and then his eyes drift back to the gift. It's as if he's thinking, 'is this for real?' I can tell I guessed his thoughts exactly when he shrugs absentmindedly and reaches for the little box.

Once it's in his hands, he brings it up to his ear and shakes it; trying to guess what's inside before opening it. He then scrutinizes the box and rubs the bow between his two fingers, feeling the material. After that, he brings the box up to his nose to give it a little whiff.

Jeez, will he just open it already? What the hell does he think I put in there? It's not like I'm trying to trick him or anything; nothing dangerous is going to come popping out when it's opened.

The Joker places the box back down on the table and slowly tugs at one end of the bow, undoing the knot completely. He then removes the lid of the box and tilts the open box towards him so that he can see what's inside. I guess this angle didn't give him a good enough view to identify the object inside because his eyebrows furrowed a bit in confusion and he ended up sticking his hand in to pull the teeth out.

When the chattering teeth were finally resting in his palm, he took one good look at them and then he burst out laughing.

"AAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Uh… I can't tell if this means he likes it or not… Is he laughing because he thinks it's ridiculous or does he love it? My chest is squeezing with nerves.

The Joker pounds the table in his fit of hysteria and attempts to calm himself down. He takes a couple of deep, unsteady breaths before speaking again. "Ooh Dr. Quinzel… you've got yourself a great sense of humor!"

My whole body jolts at the appraisal and I beam. "You like it? They look just like yours don't they?"

He holds the teeth up in his palm to bring it into full view. "Ahaha! These things are hysterical!" He twists the bronze metal piece in the back and then watches the silver plates jitter away. "I'm impressed kid. This thing isn't half bad."

I'm grinning from ear to ear. "I'm glad you like it Mr. J. Just don't let yourself get caught with it." My eyes dart back to the door to find the orderlies on the other side with their backs still turned away from us.

"Oh, trust me," he says; his eyes slowly look away from the wound up teeth to meet my eyes directly. His lips twist into a slow, devilish smile. "I won't let anyone take this from me."

AN: Wow... This is the longest I've gone without updating and I am SOOOO SORRY. School got tough and I decided to give it 100% of my attention. But, the semester is over and I'm going to be updating MUCH MORE FREQUENTLY now. This chapter isn't too great because I'm a wee bit rusty, but I promise that I'll get back into the groove of things. Thank you guys so much for waiting for this and reading it. Please let me know what you guys think, I miss hearing from you!

Thanks again, and I'll see you all in the next chapter. ;)