Chapter Sixteen:

Confrontation

That Stupid, sneaky, fucked-up, son of a Bitch! I am so fuckin' furious, I can't even think straight. I can't believe he did this! What the fuck? Why the fuck?

I can't even-

I can't even think right right now.

I'm so fuckin' sad my chest feels like it's going to burst with all of these twisted emotions trapped inside of me. I am a fuckin' roller coaster right now. One minute I'm unbelievably sad- bawling on the floor, clutching my chest- the next, I'm punching holes in the wall, imagining that I can see the Joker's fuckin' face painted on it.

I can't believe he did this. I can't believe he did this. I can't believe he did this!

My best friend…..

Oh, here I go again… Wiping tears furiously from my face. I laugh a bit hysterically to myself. I am a fuckin' mess!

I eventually got my shit together and called the cops. They pulled me out of the house so they could do a quick sweep of the place. They questioned me in the meantime and I told them everything…

…Well… almost everything.

When the police arrived and I saw the flashing red and blue lights outside of my window, for some strange reason unknown to me, I panicked. I made quick work of tucking the Joker's playing card away into my bra. I spent a good minute making sure that it was securely in place before opening the door. And when I was being questioned, I didn't mention finding it. When they asked me if I knew of anyone who could possibly be held responsible for this, I told them to look into the patients he was treating at Arkham. He had at least two particularly violent patients under his care who they could probably deem worthy enough to look into. Of course I know that this is all bullshit. I know who did this. But for some fuckin' reason, I can't bring myself to give up his name. I don't know why but I just can't.

After standing outside for a while -letting paramedics and forensics do their thing inside- sniffling and blinking away tears, I can see someone running desperately and unbelievably fast towards me.

Shit… it's Sarah… I completely forgot all about Sarah…

She runs straight to me at such a speed that coming to a stop doesn't happen gracefully or quickly enough. I almost lose my balance completely when she practically lunges at me, gripping my arm with a strength I didn't know she had. The poor girl is shaking uncontrollably and mumbling incoherently. I place my hands firmly on both of her upper arms, trying to calm and steady her as best I can, considering that I'm becoming just as emotional as she is. Looking at her alone is breaking my heart. It's immediately obvious that she already knows.

"S-S-Sarah," I choke out between sobs. "I-I'm so sorry." I pull her in for a hug and she resists me. Shaking her head profusely in complete denial of the truth.

"No! No." She wails, clinging on to me to steady herself from her wobbling knees that are ready to give away at any moment. I hold onto her firmly, trying to keep her balanced, restrained, and comforted. Eventually she hugs me back with the same force; crying into my shoulder and drenching my sweater. Abruptly, she pulls away from me enough to look at me. Pools of green surrounded by a pale frightened face confronts me.

In a broken, quiet voice that I can barely hear, she says, "He was my everything."

Tears trickle down my cheeks as I shut my eyes close to stop them with no success. I'm only beginning to process the severity of all of this. Sarah is losing her soulmate. Her soulmate… I think that that is the worst thing that could happen to a person. And it's happening to poor Sarah…

I can't believe this.

And to think, that this is all happening because of my soulmate… This is fuckin' unbelievable.

I pull Sarah back into my embrace again and kiss her hair lightly, choking back tears. I pet her head coaxingly. "I know, I know," I answer absent-mindedly. I'm still processing everything in my head.

We stay like this for a couple of minutes until a couple of paramedics roll out a white tarped cot. Sarah looks up at the exact moment Guy's covered body comes into view. Sarah breaks away from me to run towards it. I'm stunned for a second but I recover quickly and run after her. I reach forward and grab her by the upper arm and tug her over onto the grass, clearing the sidewalk so that the paramedics can wheel Guy's body away. Sarah tries to break away from my grasp, and she manages to loosen my grip but I wrap my arms over and around her chest in a semi-restraint. She falls to her knees defeatedly and wailing; I go down with her, whispering things like, "Shh, shh, shh. It's going to be okay. I know. I know. I know."

By the time the body is loaded and out of sight, Sarah had stopped struggling against me considerably, so I loosen my hold on her a bit. Soon, I let go of her altogether and she held her own fine enough; until she didn't. She suddenly slumped against me. Confused, I turned her head to find that she had fainted.

"Oh my gosh-" I start fanning and patting her face and get no response. An officer steps out of the house and I wave him over, he comes running.

"What's wrong with her?" He asks.

"She fainted. Can you call a medic before they leave?"

"Of course." He runs over to the ambulance and returns with both of the paramedics. They pull Sarah from my grasp and start working on waking her. I watch, motionless and silent as they tend to her. The disbelief of everything that is happening is overwhelming. I can't believe that any of this is real. And he's responsible…

I stand and slowly back away from the scene before me. I can't be here. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with any of this. I can't right now, there's something else weighing much more on my mind…

I need to find that asshole. I don't know what I'm going to do but I need to see him- ask him what the fuck is wrong with him and what the fuck was he thinking! Why? Why did he do this? Guy didn't do anything. He did no wrong. He did no wrong to anyone. Guy is- was a sweetheart… He didn't deserve this; no one does. And it's about time I get this through that fuckin' prick's head! He's going to pay for this.

I back away slowly from Sarah and the officers, moving toward the house. I open the door slightly and peer in to find forensics kneeling over something. I quietly reach my arm in towards the coat rack by the door and snake my hand into Guy's coat, pulling out his car keys. I close the door lightly behind me and scuffle unnoticed across the yard. I remember Guy complaining yesterday about how he had to park around the corner.

Oh my gosh I can't wrap my head around the fact that he was alive yesterday and now he's not. That tattooed, green haired son of a bitch! I can't wait to get my hands on him. I'm gonna tear him a new one, I swear.

Because I didn't get any calls from the asylum, I'm assuming he's there. I don't know how the hell he did this. Whether he slipped out unnoticed or had someone else do this- I don't know! All I know is that he's responsible.

I find Guy's car parked around the corner where he said it would be. I unlock the door and slide into the driver's seat. I know how to drive. I just haven't done it in a while.

I start the car and head for the asylum. He better be there. If he isn't… I don't know where the heck he could be. It's not like he ever told me where his hide-out is.

I can't wait to confront him. I have a million and one questions that need to be answered. My anger only escalates when I think about everything and not having answers for anything. I can't wrap my head around it; why did he do this? Why Guy? I don't get it. But I'll know soon enough. I'm pulling up to the asylum right now.

At this point, I'm furious. Driving, sitting in the car fuming didn't help better my mood at all. I park the car carelessly in the mostly vacant parking lot and slam the car door behind me once I'm out. I stomp up to the front door of the facility when my reflection on the first glass door catches my attention. I look like shit and I have some dried blood on my forehead. I let my hair go from its ponytail and comb through it with my fingers. I rub my eyes with my sleeves to get rid of any eye boogers or dried tears. When I pull my hands away from my eyes, I notice for the first time that my hands are covered in dried blood too. I stare at them for a moment and my fingertips tremble at the recollection of how they got this way. Guy's face…

A couple of tears slip away from my eyes without my permission. I need to pull myself together. If a staff member saw me like this, then I'd have to explain everything and I don't have the time nor patience for that. I use my tears to my advantage by soaking them up on my sleeve. I use my now damp sleeve to rub the blood on my forehead clean off. As for my hands, I can't really do anything there. Rubbing them on my clothes would only make me look worse. So, I decide to just pull my sleeves over my hands and keep them in my pockets as much as possible.

I take a deep breath before finally pushing the doors open and stepping inside the building. I'm met with a quizzical expression from the lady in the front desk. I can understand it. I look really bad right now. Huge sweater, dirty jeans, disheveled hair… I don't look like a doctor at all. I don't normally stop at the front desk because I don't have to; I'm immediately recognized when I walk through the door. So, I can't remember what this woman's name is exactly. Was it Tasia or Trisha? Or something else… Oh well, I'll gamble.

"Hey Trisha-"

"It's Tasia." She cuts me off with a polite smile. She doesn't look truly bothered by my mistake so I take this as a good sign of her character.

"I'm so sorry. I'm- I'm having a rough morning. I jumbled up your name."

"No worries Dr. Quinzel. I get it." She smiles and waves away my apology. "Anyway, what brings you in on a Sunday?"

My voice lowers an octave unintentionally. "Yeah, actually, I was wondering if anything had happened here yesterday."

"What do you mean?" She asks confused.

"Oh, you know- did anything happen?" I stress the word and realize that it's not really going to help her understand any better.

She furrows her eyebrows. "Umm…no?"

I look surprised. "Really? No incidents or anything like that?"

"Oh!" She exclaims with realization. "No nothing happened. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason. Just-" I scratch at my head coming up short with an answer. "It's just a… a bad dream I had last night." I chuckle nervously.

She smiles comfortingly at me. "I understand doctor. With the number of dangerous and violent patients that you all have to treat here, I understand the paranoia. But I can assure you, nothing is out of place here. If something was, I would most likely know about it."

I release a sigh of relief. "Thank you Tasia, I'm just going to step into my office for a while since I'm already here."

"Of course, go right ahead."

I move past the front desk and head down the left hallway towards the caged elevator that'll take me straight down to maximum security. I have no reason to go to my office; What's about to happen isn't a therapy session. I have no files I need to grab, no white coat. All I want to do is give him a piece of my mind.

The elevator drags and once I'm in it, I feel incredibly nervous. But then I remember my last image of Guy and my rage is renewed. I cross my arms and tap my foot impatiently while staring at the elevator's ceiling. This heap of shit isn't moving fast enough!

Ding!

Finally. This door can't open fast enough. As soon as I know that I can fit, I squeeze through it. I stomp down the hallway until I reach the maximum's security gate where I'm greeted by the usual man on guard. He knows that I don't have any technical authorization to go in there, so it's not like I could talk my way through here. That's fine, it's not like I was thinking of talking to him in his cell. Guards are always stationed outside of it. Any conversation we would have there, wouldn't be private. No, what I need to do is get him into our therapy room.

"Excuse me," I say to the security guard. "By any chance is Jerry or Lyle somewhere in there?"

The guard nods. "Yeah, Jerry is. Lyle's off today."

"Can you call him then? I need to speak with him."

"Yes ma'am." He says obligingly and then speaks into the walkie-talkie on his chest. "Hey Ronny, is Jerry with you?"

"Yeah I'm lookin' right at him," says the man on the other side of the conversation.

"Tell him to come to the gate. Dr. Quinzel is looking for him."

"Sure thing."

The guard addresses me. "He'll be right out."

"Thank you," I answer.

I twiddle my thumbs while I wait and am reminded of how stained my hands are. Not two minutes pass before Jerry appears on the other side of the gate. I pull my sleeves over my hands and cross my arms as an extra precaution.

He looks at me confused. "Quinzel, what's up? It's Sunday, what brings you here?"

I nod him over, directing him towards the hallway away from the security guard. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

He comes through the security gate and follows me into the hallway, out of earshot from the guard. I speak in a hushed voice. "I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you bring the Joker to our therapy room right now?"

"What? Doctor I can't do that-"

"Yes you can. I know you can."

He shakes his head. "No, it's not his therapy time, I can't move him. What is this really about?"

I sigh exasperated. Jerry has never annoyed me the way he is right now. "Look, I keep $120 tucked under the lamp on my desk as 'just in case' money. I leave my office door unlocked. If you move him for me, that money is yours."

"What? Doctor are you serious-"

"Yes. And if that's not enough I can give you another $100 the next time I see you. I don't have it on me but I'm good for it, I promise." There's no way he's going to turn this down. He loves money too much.

He looks torn, really considering the bribe. Finally, he shrugs. "What the hell, I'll do it. And because you're a friend, I'll only do it for $120."

I sigh, relieved. "Thanks. And I don't need you to stand guard either. I'd like to be alone with him for fifteen minutes at least."

"Quinzel are you sure that's what you want? Seems like a death wish to me. You know what he's capable of and if I'm not there-"

"Fifteen minutes. That's all I'm asking Jerry."

Jerry shrugs and turns away after shooting me an I hope you know what you're doing face. "Okay, you're the boss I guess…"

Once he's disappeared behind the security gate, I turn and walk down the hall towards our therapy room. I open the heavy door and step in, remembering the last time I was in here. He had cut our session short that day, preferring to go back to his grimy, lonely cell rather than spend another minute with me. And I haven't truly spoken to him since. When I visited his cell, he didn't really hear me out at all.

Well… that's not going to happen this time. I'm going to make that mother fucker answer to everything that I have to say! I want to know why he took the closest and most precious person in my life away from me…

No. Don't do it Harleen. Don't start crying now.

I take a deep breath fighting the urge to tear up, and move around the steel table. I look out the tiny window opposite the door and rest my bum on the edge of the table. There's nothing interesting out there, nothing to really distract me. I cross my arms and focus on the clouds outside. I'm doing my best to meditate and not think about anything in particular but this overwhelming rage and sadness are preventing me from keeping my head cool. I'm sort of glad about it though. I want to stay mad. Staying mad will keep me strong; keep me from crumbling, which is what I don't want to do. I don't want to cry in front of him, which is what I'm afraid I'm going to do.

The door opens suddenly behind me. I make no immediate move to turn around and greet him or even acknowledge his presence. I continue staring out the window, listening to the shuffling behind me. When it sounds like the Joker is finally seated, I hear Jerry loudly whisper, "Don't you dare try anything clown." A moment later I hear the door close, leaving me alone with my patient.

For a minute, neither of us says a word. I know I've been anxious to confront him, but I just can't make myself turn around right now. That is until he speaks… I can hear that sinister smile on his lips as he does.

"Well, well, well… Doctor, I never thought you'd be so… bold." I turn to look at him slowly but I don't move from my place. I try to maintain an indifferent expression but I can feel the mild hint of a scowl being conveyed by my eyes. If he notices it, he doesn't seem to mind it at all. As a matter of fact, he seems quite content with himself. That bastard. "You know doc, I knew ya liked me, but I'll admit- I didn't think you liked me that much. I mean- sending the orderly away so we can get some… alone-time." He says the last words provocatively and then cackles, his silver teeth gleaming with every movement of his mouth. "You know… I like you too Harleen. But I think we should take it slow. Don't you think?"

Without changing my expression, I ask, "That can't honestly be why you think I'm here, can it?" You can hear the calm before the storm in my voice. It makes his grin widen.

He feigns ignorance and shrugs his shoulders exaggeratedly. "Why else would you want to be alone with me doctor? What couldn't wait until our next session?"

I stare at him unmoved and speak more sarcastically. "Really? You really have no other idea as to why I'm here? None at all?" My voice is rising. My composure is slipping.

The Joker is pensive for a moment and then he shrugs again. "Nope. Nothing comes to mind."

This time I turn to fully face him. "You lying piece of shit! You're going to sit there and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about?"

The Joker throws his head back and laughs.

"Stop laughing!" I shout. "This isn't funny! You know what this is about."

Of course he doesn't stop. He is slapping the table, overcome by his laughter. He tries his best to calm down enough to speak but doesn't stop laughing completely. "You know- You sound like you belong in a place like this-" He gestures to the room around us. "Keep this up Harleen, and you and I can be bunkies."

That does it.

I slap him hard across his face. His head whips to the side from the blow and his laughter ceases instantly. He stays in that position for a moment. Embracing the sting of the pain. Then he looks back at me with a predatory look in his eyes. All signs of humor are gone. I know that this is the part where I should be scared, but I'm too angry to make any wise decisions.

"I am getting sick and tired of you." I lean in closer to look him dead in the eyes while I speak to him. "You are the most complicated person I have ever met. Do you know how big of a headache you are to me? Do you? Everything you do makes no sense to me. None at all. You sit there and pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, but you do… You killed Guy." I pause to look for any hint of recognition in his face but I don't find a damn thing. He hides his emotions well when he wants to. "He was my best friend. The person who I cared for more than anyone. I loved him." At this his lip curls into a snarl; his face is that of anger and slight disgust. "You took him from me, you sick, demented, freak. And I wanna know why."

For a minute he just glares at me. Then, his lips stretch into a tight smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "So… That's why you're here… Little Harleen is sad because she thinks I killed her boyfriend."

"I don't think you did it. I know you did."

"But how could I have done it? Look around you toots; it's not like I can just walk outta here whenever I want-"

"Well then you had someone else do it for you!" I pull out his stupid playing card that I've been keeping in my bra and toss it right at his face. The air resistance against the paper card doesn't help though. It completely misses him and lands on the floor to his side. Luckily it lands facing up so that when he turns to look at it, he knows exactly what it is. When the Joker looks back at me, he's smiling. "Why the hell did you do it? Tell me right now!"

"You know, Harleen-" He leans in close to me, his nose only an inch away from mine. "I don't have to explain myself to you. I can do… whatever I want. Whenever I want."

I'm done containing myself. "You cocky son of a bitch!" I right hook him on the side of his mouth as hard as I can. He falls out of his seat to the ground. His hands are cuffed together, so he isn't able to break the fall with his hands well. His elbow ended up breaking his fall, which I'm sure must have hurt like hell. For some reason I'm smiling down at him. I can't hide the bout of satisfaction that I feel knowing that I was capable of physically hurting him like this. It's twisted, I know. I'm not even sure that soulmates should be capable of feeling this gratification. But I'm so angry at him that this feels so good right now.

He manages to sit himself up and then wipes at his mouth. He stares at the back of his hand which is now glistening red. When he looks up at me, he gives me a wicked predatory smile. "Ohhh… So you wanna play huh?" Before I know it, he's lunging at me. He jumps to his feet with ease and throws me a punch of his own below my right eye. Before the shock of the blow can even set in, he has me pinned against the wall. His cuffed hands are wrapped securely around my throat. He isn't choking me, but the threat is very obvious.

We've never been this close before. We've never had this much contact with each other before. It's overwhelming. I can feel the heat of him, and his scent is intoxicating. For a millisecond, I forget that I want to hurt him and all I know is that I want him. I feel like I can see something similar in his eyes. We involuntarily pull each other closer. Our lips are a beat apart when I realize what we're about to do and my rationality clocks back in, followed quickly by my rage. I bring my knee up as quickly and as roughly as I can and manage to get him good on his lower gut (although I was aiming much lower). I wind him but he doesn't loosen his grip on me one bit. As a matter of fact, he tightens it.

I can barely get any air into my lungs, but I try to speak even so. "Let- let go of me!" My voice is too raspy, I didn't sound as clear as I did in my head. The Joker finds this hilarious. He laughs right in my face and I can feel his hot breath hit me.

"What was that doc? I didn't quite catch that." He turns his head to the side and brings his ear mockingly close to my mouth. I try to scream but I just can't. So instead, I whip my head forward and grab his ear with my teeth, biting as hard as I can. I hear him growl and his grip on me loosens. I gasp for air and push him away, moving to the opposite wall to put what little space I can in between us. He rubs at his ear assessing the damage through touch. When he brings his hand back into his view, he frowns at his blood stained fingers. "Cheap shot." He says more to himself than to me.

At this point, my mentality can't take this anymore. All of this anger, lust, and fear accumulates into tears; and that just makes things worse. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I hate that this is happening right now but I can't make them stop falling. Everything is too much right now.

When I look up, he's staring at me. He looks annoyed, but at least he seems attentive enough.

"Just stop with this bull shit. I don't want to do this anymore." I choke on the last word. I'm doing my best to stop my sobs. "I could have dealt with everything you know? I was willing to overlook your past- all those people you killed- all of the things you've done- Everything! But this- you crossed a huge line here. I don't think I can ever overlook this. You- you killed my best friend! He was all I had, and you killed him! Look-" I hold my palms out so he can see the copper stains on them. "I still have his blood on my hands! Now when I think of him, all I can see is his mutilated body! He didn't deserve that! No one does! He was like a brother to me…" I put my face in my hands and leave it there for a moment to let out a couple of sobs. I honestly would have fallen to my knees and gave in to my sadness right then and there if I hadn't heard him speak. It was a whisper, almost inaudible; but I heard it.

"Brother?"

I remove my hands slowly from my face and glare at him. "Yes. You fucking idiot. You heard me right; I said r." I enunciate the word exaggeratedly. "He was a brother to me. Something you would have known if you would have fuckin' listened to me when I tried to tell you! But oh no! Mr. J wanted to be a baby and sit in a corner and cry all day. I mean- you are such a dumbass! You thought he was my lover? My boyfriend? You are so fuckin' stupid if you have ever thought that I could be with anyone who isn't you- I mean, we're fuckin' soulmates for Christ's sake!"

I heard what I said a second after I said it. My face transforms from one of anger to one of realization. Shit, I can't believe I just said that! I don't know if he knows or not. From what I understand, he doesn't; but how could he not? Surely somewhere inside him he knows, right?

He isn't looking at me anymore. He's not really looking at anything. He looks truly confused, like he's trying to work something out in his head.

In a low astonished voice, I ask, "Did you really not know?"

He doesn't answer, or even acknowledge that I spoke to him. His absent eyebrows just deepen in their furrow.

I shake my head slowly in disbelief. "Wow… I feel so sorry for you. You just- You can't see a good thing when it's staring you in the face can you?" As if proving my point, he stays in that pensive state and doesn't look up at me. "You know what? I feel even more sorry for myself, because I now believe that you're incapable of any form of love."

I stare at him for a minute, hoping that he'll snap out of it and contradict what I said. But he doesn't…

I roll my eyes, shake my head and move past him towards the door. I'm finished here. He isn't even being responsive anymore so what the hell is the point.

Down the hall around the corner, I find Jerry messing with his phone. "I'm done Jerry, send him back."

"Jesus! Look at you! He hit you?" He points to my right eye.

I wave him away. "Don't worry about it. Actually- His ear is bleeding pretty badly, so you might want to take care of that before you take him back to max." I pat him on the shoulder and start walking away.

"Aw, come on Quinzel; how the hell am I supposed to explain that?"

"You'll figure something out Jerry," I say over my shoulder. I don't want to deal with any of this right now. I can't. I need to get out of here and figure out how the hell I'm going to live with myself now.

AN: Harleen said so many bad words in this chapter that I was considering changing the story to M at this point, but I didn't want to get any hopes up for something that wasn't going to happen in this chapter. Because we all know what a good rated M story entails Right? ;)

And guys, I know I drag with the updates. I suck. If I'm ever taking too long, please just yell at me. Sometimes I need someone to just scream at me to get me back on track. I mean- don't be mean about it, just be really loud. Shouty capitals and all~

Anyway, the next chapter is the one you guys have been waiting for. It's a Joker point of view. Although, I'm thinking I won't write it in the same way I wrote the last one. And it probably won't be as long as these chapters normally are but I'll try to make it longer than his last POV.

Thank you guys so much for sticking with this story. Don't forget to review, I really appreciate them. I'll see ya all in the next chapter!