Chapter Seventeen:

Decisions, Decisions

Crying.

All he heard was crying. Day in, and day out. Crying.

He wished that he could make it stop but nothing he did rid him of the sound. Ever since that day that he had that "therapy session" with Dr. Quinzel, he hasn't been able to have a moment's peace. It's been over a week since then and the crying has been insistent.

The Joker sat alone in his cell with the side of his forehead pressed forcibly against the wall. The side of his face was tinged pink from previous attempts to bang the sounds out of his head. He looks up at the ceiling and thinks to himself, If I wasn't crazy before…

He just wanted her to stop. He couldn't take this much longer. He was faintly familiar with this voice in his head, but she had just been getting too familiar with him in there. He could swear she had never been this loud before. Perhaps it was because now he could put a face to it. The Joker -like everyone else- knew of the existence of that one perfect someone who was out there in the world waiting to find their other half; he just had no idea someone was waiting for him. It never occurred to him really. He never fantasized or thought about love ever. This new bit of information that he had received from Dr. Quinzel came as a shock to him. He definitely wasn't expecting it…

At first, when she told him, a million different things ran through his head. Is she for real? She's gotta be joking right? Should I just kill her? Nip this thing in the bud? I should, shouldn't I? But what if I can use this somehow? Can I make this fun? He was frozen, processing everything. And he still hadn't finished, he was still processing the information. To be honest, he didn't know what to do with it. His nature demanded that he be rid of her. She was a liability. A sign of weakness. He didn't need that, and he sure as hell didn't want that. But something in him told him to do otherwise. He couldn't explain it. Something in him screamed at him to not only keep her alive, but to keep her close as well. He couldn't understand the impulse. As chaotic and unpredictable as his own mind was, the Joker was very good at interpreting his emotions and impulses. But this- This was beyond him. He never bothered to look into the whole soulmate connection or whatnot, so he wasn't sure if this feeling had anything to do with it or not. He was sure that it did though; it was a pretty good guess considering how now that he knew about this whole thing, these emotions just happen to rise in him.

But, if he was truly honest with himself, this isn't something that just started after her confession. It was dull… and unnoticeable… but it was there. An inexplicable pull that she had on him. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he was attracted to her. He was a man after all, and she was beautiful. Who wouldn't be attracted to her? The problem was that that dull achy feeling that she caused him to feel, was beginning to feel like a sensation that went beyond mere attraction. He wasn't sure if he was okay with this development or not. He kept looping in his mind what this meant for him. Did this put him at a disadvantage or was this somehow advantageous? Should he end this or delve into this? He wasn't sure. At the moment, the only thing he was certain about was that he wanted her to shut the fuck up!

Her sobs weren't helping his thinking process. They were a constant reminder of the problem he was facing and the decisions that he would have to make. Although he had to admit that the more he heard them, the more appealing the idea of killing her was looking.

Guy… Guy… Why? Why?

Ugh, shut up shut up shut up shut up! Why the hell is she crying so much anyway? Apparently that guy wasn't her boyfriend, so what's the big deal? Oh, but she did say that he was her brother, didn't she? Still, how great can a family be for someone to cry about them this much!

The Joker rubbed at his temple wishing that she was there with him in his cell so that he could give her something to really cry about. If he knew that having that idiot killed was eventually going to bite him in the ass, he would have never done it… Nah, I still would have done it.

The Joker thinks back to the first time he saw Dr. Quinzel. He paid her no mind at first glance. What caught his attention was her laugh. It had a familiar beautiful melodic ring to it; and he swore that it wasn't the first time that he had heard it. Whenever he thought back to that memory, he always recounted her laughter and the way her glossed lips pulled from the action. However, looking back now, he remembered the reason she was laughing that day. It was because of something that other doctor had said. The brother. The Joker snarled at the recollection. Great… A good memory tarnished.

Why?... Why?...

Yes. Why? Why? Why won't you shut up all ready! What could he do to make her forget about all this? He had to do something to get her to stop or this insistent sobbing would never end. It was too bad that he was still behind bars. If he was out, there were a million things that he could do. He'd probably take her out for a night on the town. Show her what it means to truly be alive. She'd have so much fun, she'd completely forget about what's-his-name. But unfortunately, for the time being he needed to stay put. Things weren't ready for him on the outside yet, and it would be awhile... He could send one of his guys over there with a cheer-up gift. But… something told him that that wouldn't sit well with her. In fact, it might even make things worse. Okay, scratch that. Scratch that.

He thought about it for a while and realized that he had come to the ultimate conclusion to keep her alive. Why? He didn't know. Maybe his subconscious had a plan for her that he just wasn't seeing yet.

He also was reluctant to admit that there really wasn't anything that he could do to get her to stop crying. With him behind bars and her not showing up for work, there wasn't much he could do really. He had been told by one of the orderlies that Dr. Quinzel had requested to take a whole month off, so he wasn't going to be having any form of therapy for the time being. They didn't trust any other doctor with him and that's exactly how he had orchestrated it. He couldn't tolerate anyone else. Everyone else was boring. If he complied with every doctor they sent to him, then he would be seeing several doctors a week. Because let's face it. I'm not the kinda guy who should only be seeing one shrink.

He wasn't surprised that Harleen had requested time off; he had expected her to. What surprised him was that they actually agreed to give her so much time off. A month was a long time. He hoped that she would snap out of whatever she was going through soon. He didn't want to have to endure through this for the next three weeks. But if she didn't, then he'd have no choice but to sit there and listen to every sob. It was a sort of punishment for him, for what he had done; being forced to listen to the consequences of his actions. He couldn't help but laugh. She was torturing him in her own way and she didn't even know it. Who else could do that to him? No one, that's who. He found it extremely intriguing the way she could affect him sometimes. He was cautious about it, but he was intrigued none the less. The blonde had a way about her that just kept him interested. And that was another thing; her hair. The Joker never thought he had a thing for blondes but sometimes, he'd oddly find himself thinking about how well it completed her. He pictured her as a brunette and a red head and she just didn't look right. A ridiculous thought to have, he knew it. But to be fair, all he could do was think all day and night in his boring cell; he couldn't help the trivial things that crossed his mind.

He looked over to his cot and reached under the thin mattress to pull out a silver toothed toy that he had haphazardly hidden away. It was too easy to hide things in his cell. No ever dared to enter. As long as anyone didn't visibly see him with anything, they made the cautious decision to just leave him be. He gave the toy a one over and laughed. It really was a ridiculously hilarious gift. He remembered Harleen's face that day. How happy she had gotten when he had given her his approval. He idly thought about how he enjoyed the way she looked when she smiled…

The Joker frowned at himself.

He would be patient, for now. He was going to let her grieve. He had no choice really. Perhaps by the time she came back in to work, she'd be back to her old self. He was sure that she would be. A person can only cry for so long, right? Yeah- she'll cry herself out and then she'll be fine. She'll get over it. And with that, the Joker laid back on the cold ground and closed his eyes to dream of God knows what.

Why? Guy… Why?

"Ugh…" He groaned and covered his ears with his hands, rolling to his side. Sleep would be impossible for him this night, and many nights to come.

AN: I guess those shouty capital reviews worked. I saw them and I felt pressured to update...

I hope you guys enjoyed this, I warned you's that this would be short though.

Thank you guys so much for sticking with this story, I appreciate all of the support. I really do.

Looking forward to seeing you all in the next chapter! Peace.