Chapter Eighteen:
Changes
Waking up in the morning was not easy today; nor has it been for the last couple of weeks. My alarm clock roared to life at nine a.m. When I opened my eyes, I could literally feel the crust on the lids of my eyes breaking apart after having been closed for so long. Sleep is amazing. My emotions don't get to me when I sleep. I don't dream so I'm blessed with hours of peace when asleep. That's why I've recently made it a habit of getting twelve hours of sleep. My body hates me for it but my brain could not be grateful enough.
Today is the day I've been dreading all month; it's time for me to go back into work. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I have been seriously considering quitting just to get away from it all but every time I work myself up to it in my head my gut tells me not to; and it's right. I've advanced so much in my career at Arkham. The facility is dripping with all kinds of colorful different cases and patients that the experience I get working there is equivalent to that of someone who has worked at ten different facilities. So I'm just going to stay put.
To be honest, going back to Arkham Asylum isn't what's really bothering me… it's seeing him again. I've tried not to think about him. I've been mentally avoiding him. I've come to terms with what he's done. He killed my best friend. I'm alone now and it's all his fault. I understand this horrible truth but… now what? Now I have to go back and be his doctor again? It's not going to be easy. I'm going to try for the sake of trying but it is not going to be easy. The only thing that's making this whole situation tolerable to me is the fact that I've become a bit numb to the idea of the Joker. I don't feel anything thinking about him now. Not even anger. I've passed that phase I guess. If I do feel anything for him now, it's disappointment. But for the most part, somewhere during this time, I've managed to close my heart to him. I just- I really don't feel anything for him right now. I haven't heard a peep from him this whole time. Which isn't much of a surprise but perhaps it's also a reflection of the change in my feelings for him. I'm not sure. I'm just going to use this indifference to my advantage and try to get back into the swing of things.
I'll tell ya right now that things are not going to be the way they were. We're not going to be "buddy-buddy" like we used to be. I'm not going to indulge him like I used to; I can't do that anymore. I'm just going to try to do my job and that's that.
As soon as I get out of bed I hit the shower quickly and then iron out my clothes. It's a simple pale pink blouse with black dress pants. I tie my hair in a low lazy ponytail and don't even bother wearing any makeup.
When I step out of my room I'm saddened by the sight of my new apartment. I had to move out. There was no way I was going to stay in the same building where Guy lost his life. My apartment isn't nearly as nice as the one we used to share, and the neighborhood is also not nearly as nice. It's a relatively safe area considering the city I live in, but it's nothing like the friendly neighborhood Guy and I had lived in. I live a little bit outside of Chinatown now. A lot of creeps hang out in Chinatown but they don't hang out on my block or anything, so I'm good. My apartment is so sad though. It's so empty. I haven't had the energy to really decorate.
Before, it was fun combing my stuff with Guy's and having the place decorated with things that we somehow made go together. Now, I just have all of my boring stuff. Sarah took nearly everything that belonged to Guy. The poor girl. She said she wanted to surround herself in everything that was his. She put up all of his stuff in her place. When I visited, I couldn't help but feel such pity for her. Her place looks like what I imagine it would if she and Guy would have moved in together. I get the sick feeling that Sarah is sort of advancing the relationship that she doesn't even have anymore. I've tried being a psychiatrist to her without her knowing that I was. It worked the first couple of visits but eventually she picked up on what I was doing and basically denounced me as her friend. She was really angry. She said I thought she was crazy, which I didn't of course. I was just trying to nudge her into a healthy course of coping with the loss. I suggested getting rid of all of Guy's stuff and she went berserk. She hasn't spoken to me since. I've tried calling, but all I get is a voicemail each time. I only hope that she finds someone to talk through everything she's going through. Maybe hearing it from me hit too close to home for her.
There was one thing of Guy's that I managed to keep though. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to keep his car. It's been nice having it. Driving it reminds me of when Guy and I would go to work together. I still get sad when I think about him, but a little less so than before. I've been balling my eyes out over him for so long, that I've finally reached the point where I can look back at the good memories and not burst out crying immediately. I've been grieving him healthily, so moving on with life is going way easier for me than it is Sarah.
After toasting and forcing down two strawberry pop-tarts, I head out to the car and drive towards the asylum. I park in Guy's usual spot and head into the building. Some lady at the front desk welcomes me back warmly and I return her kind greeting. I take the slow elevator up to my floor and go straight to my office. The door is locked. It must have been the cleaning people. I dig out the key from my coat pocket and open up the door. My office looks just as I left it. I also note that there's not a speck of dust to be seen. The next time I see any of the janitors, I'm going to have to thank them. They've really been on top of things here.
Several people stopped by to welcome me back and offer their condolences. I thanked them graciously and tried to get back to the paperwork that's been abandoned this whole time. I stopped by human resources to get some more stuff that I needed to fill out and then once that was done I stopped by the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. It's my first cup in weeks. I've been honoring Guy by not going anywhere near the stuff. But I figure I could use a pick-me-up now. I take my coffee back to my office, preferring to sip in solitude. When I look at the clock, I see that it's nearly time for the Joker's therapy session. I guess I should quickly catch myself up with his treatment. Looking at his file, it looks like they've been continuing to give him the medication that I prescribed but he hasn't had a single ounce of therapy since. Does that mean he's been locked away in his cell this whole time? Don't get me wrong, I don't feel sorry for the guy at all. I'm just surprised that he was never let out to stretch his legs. From a humanitarian perspective, that's cruel. Luckily, I'm no humanitarian with regard to the Joker; not anymore at least.
When the time comes, I grab all I need and head down to max. Lyle and Jerry are both standing outside of the room.
"Welcome back doctor," said Lyle.
"Yeah, welcome back Quinzel. We missed ya kid," said Jerry smiling.
"Aw, I missed you too, you old fart." I playfully slap Jerry on the shoulder. "How's he been?" I nod towards the door.
Jerry shrugged. "As good as he can get. We haven't had any problems, have we Bolton?"
"Nope. Not a one."
"Good. Then I guess it's time for me to go in there and do my thing." I say with more courage than I feel.
Jerry grabs my arm suddenly when I try to walk past him. In a lowered voice, he says, "You know you don't have to stick with this clown right? There are plenty of other people here who you could treat. You don't have to do this."
I look at Jerry solemnly. He must have put two-and-two together. I pat his hand off of me. "Let's see how this goes, okay?" I smile encouragingly and he nods once, accepting my decision.
When I open the door, I'm greeted by the biggest silver toothed smile I have ever seen in my entire life. I'm a little surprised to find that my heart doesn't skip that familiar beat that it does when he does that.
"Dr. Quinzel! It's so good to have you back doc. I've missed you."
"Have you now…" I say absentmindedly and take my seat across from him. I fumble with the papers in front of me and get myself in order. "How have you been feeling?"
"Oh, I've been doing alright since our last little-" he coughs. "session." I can hear him grin but I'm too busy preoccupying myself with my papers to look up and verify. "And how have you been doctor?"
I pretend I didn't hear him ask that last question. "Then that means that you've been taking well to this medication and I won't change it." I jot down some notes on how his behavior has been good and his treatment is going well. "Have you had any overly violent thoughts recently?"
"No more than usual." I imagine he shrugged here. "I'll tell ya this though, Harleen: I've been thinking a lot about you."
Once again, I pretend not to hear the last thing he said. "Good. As long as those violent thoughts aren't increasing in frequency, then I'll say we've made some progress." I jot down some more notes about his improvement.
Almost like a shift in the atmosphere, I can literally feel his smile drop completely. He bangs the table roughly with both closed fists and I jump but I carry on with my writing. "HEY! LOOK. AT. ME." He says in a harsh voice and I have to oblige. I haven't looked at him since I walked in. When my eyes reluctantly meet his, I'm faced with all of the anger, sadness, and fear that I thought were gone. I'm reminded of everything that he's done and everything that he's capable of doing. When I look into those blue orbs all I see is red. A very vivid image of Guy decorated in blood comes to mind. I break away from his gaze immediately, knowing that he read each and every one of my emotions in the short time our eyes locked.
Looking down, I realize that tears have immediately begun to formulate. I shake my head disapprovingly. "I can't do this." I say to myself. "I just can't do this."
I sloppily group my papers up in one sweep and rise from my chair. As I'm going towards the door the Joker speaks to me in that same harsh manner. "Harleen. DON'T." My stride doesn't falter and I shut the door completely behind me.
Jerry and Lyle look surprised to see me so soon. Before they can say anything, I look to Jerry and give him a weak smile. "Thanks for the advice Jer. I think I'm going to take it." I rub away a stray tear that had managed to fall and walk away from the two without looking back.
Jerry manages to throw in a "Good for you Quinzel," before I'm out of earshot.
I take the elevator up from max and the slow ascension gives me time to pull myself together. I fan at my face with my free hand, trying to dry up the water in eyes. I take deep calming breaths and bring myself back to normal.
Those few seconds of eye contact were too intense. I thought I didn't feel anything for him anymore. But turns out, I feel too much for him. All this time I must have been suppressing all of that in. I can't do that again. I don't want to face that again.
When the elevator sounds, I step out and start walking directly towards Dr. Arkham's office. I have to go up a flight of stairs and maneuver through that oh so familiar maze of hallways, but I finally get there. I knock three times on the door and wait for him to say, "Come in." I open the door and step inside. His face lights up when he recognizes me. "Ah, Dr. Quinzel welcome back. I've been meaning to stop by your office today. You have my condolences, I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you."
"Now tell me," He gestures for me take a seat at the other side of his desk. "What brings you here today?"
I let out an exaggerated breath. "Look, there's no easy way for me to say this so I'm just going to get right to the point, okay?" He nods in agreement and urges me to go on with the flick of his hand. "I can't treat the Joker anymore."
His face drops completely. "What?"
"I'm sorry Dr. Arkham. I just can't do it anymore. I need you to assign me someone else to treat because I can't treat him anymore."
He's a bit at a loss for words. I guess I really caught him off guard. "I- I don't understand. Did something happen? Why are you doing this?"
"I just simply can't take him on as a patient anymore. He makes me too uncomfortable."
"Harleen. You're the only doctor who has ever made it this far with him. You've been his doctor for months. Are you sure you want to throw away all of the progress you've made? Are you sure you can't get past whatever it is you're going through?"
"Oh I'm more than sure that I can't do this anymore. I know that this is troubling for you because the board was finally at ease with how things were going with him."
Dr. Arkham sighs resignedly. "They were. They won't take this news lightly."
There's a brief pause between us before I speak again. "You know, I've heard through the grapevine that there have been doctors from all over contacting you so that they can take over my job. Is that true?"
"Yes, it's true." He shrugs. "Apparently they feel that you may have gotten him past a psychological hurdle that was preventing him from accepting any treatment. Now that he's past it, they want a chance to take the treatment further."
"Perfect. Then you'll have no trouble at all getting him a new doctor, right?"
"No, not at all. I can have someone step in tomorrow if I want. But, I want to make sure that you know what you're doing. The Joker is a big deal. His case is wanted by many. Giving him up means giving up on a huge opportunity for you in your career. Is that what you want?"
"Yes. I don't mind passing up this great… opportunity."
"Well alright. If you're sure that that's what you want to do, I will honor your request."
I place a hand over my heart and sigh in relief. "Thank you. You have no idea how good it feels to hear that."
Dr. Arkham smiles in return. "I'll have someone come in tomorrow to take over the Joker's therapy. I'll also have the files for your new patients on your desk by tomorrow morning. Since you're not handling the Joker anymore, I trust that you can take on three patients at a time."
"Of course I can. Thank you so much for this Dr. Arkham." I get up to leave and close the door to his office behind me. I do feel a bit guilty about all of this but my relief greatly outweighs everything else. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm so happy, I could skip. I never have to see the Joker ever again!
Another day, another dollar. Getting up this morning was way easier today than it was yesterday. I'm actually looking forward to the rest of my day. Having new patients is exciting. Treating more than one patient at a time is exciting; that way my thoughts aren't consumed by one person. I wonder who I'm going to get. I kind of hope that they're hard-core cases. Given my experience, I think I'm good with edgy people. Plus, they're more exciting. When I interned back at Blackgate Prison, I dealt with edgy guys all of the time. I loved it.
It just feels so nice being able to look forward to going to work again. I miss having this excitement in the morning. I am in such a good mood that I decide to wear my hair down today and even bother to put on some make-up. A bit of dark brown eyeshadow, some black eyeliner, some pale pink blush, and what I like to call my signature red lipstick… well it used to be anyway; I'm bringing it back! I even decided to wear my red hip slim pencil dress today. I stand in front of the mirror to smooth out any creases that I can. Red really is my color…
I toss my white doctor coat over, grab my little black purse, and I'm ready to go. Now I look as good as I feel. Today really feels like the beginning of a new, healthy chapter in my life. Stepping outside, even the day feels so new and clean. I love it.
I toss my purse to the passenger seat, rev up the car, and head for the asylum. With moderate traffic, it takes me a bit under thirty minutes to get there.
At the front desk, I recognize Tasia and flash her a grin. "Good morning."
Tasia beams in return. "Hey Dr. Quinzel! I heard you were back. It's good to see you."
"Thanks. And please, if I get to call you Tasia it's only fair that you get to call me Harleen, right?"
"You know what; yes it is. Thanks Harleen. And hey- I'm going to let you know right now that there's donuts in the lounge."
"What? Who brought donuts? No one ever treats anyone to anything around here."
Tasia laughs, "That's because the person who brought it isn't from here. It was the new doctor."
My face contorts into that of confusion for a second until realization hits me in my stupid face. "Oh! The new doctor for the Joker right?"
"Yes. And she seems real nice. I hope she makes it." Tasia looks extremely hopeful but something in her eyes gives me the impression that she's already declared the new doctor to be doomed.
And wait a minute! She said she didn't she? She seems real nice. That's what she said right? The hand that isn't clutching my purse automatically goes to my hip. "So it's a she huh?"
"Oh yes," Tasia nods enthusiastically. "And she was really nice. She handed me a donut as soon as she walked in. She told me to tell the rest of the staff to stop by the lounge and grab one. That's so nice of her. She seems like a great person. I'm looking forward to getting to know her. She's very pretty too. Pretty doctors are hard to come by... I mean, you're very pretty too Harleen. It's amazing how many pretty doctors work at this place."
When she finally stopped ranting I placed both of my elbows on her desk and supported my head with both hands under my cheeks. I gave her my best Cheshire smile. "You sound like you have a crush."
Tasia's face turns immediately into one of fright. "What?! No I don't."
I stay the way I am; smiling at her, not saying anything. I'm clearly making her uncomfortable and she does tell me to quit it, so I back away from the desk. But, the smile never leaves my face. The poor kid is blushing brighter than a tomato. "Okay… I think I'll go meet this new doctor and see what all the fuss is about." I start walking away but turn to give her one last piece of advice before leaving. "You gotta work on that blushing thing that you do girl. It gives you away. You're brighter than my holiday lights on Christmas." Before I turn back to walk away, I see her pull out a compact and gasp at her reflection.
Hmm… A female doctor huh? I can't say I'm too surprised. I'm most definitely not the first female doctor he's had, but I am the youngest. Looking at this from Dr. Arkham's perspective, if a young female doctor worked so well the first time, why not hire another? I bet she's my age, if not younger. And of course, she must be beautiful. Though I'll admit, if she's blonde I just might blow my stack because that would be too fuckin' obvious.
I turn the corner and finally arrive at the staff lounge. There's more people here than there usually is at this time. Must be the donuts.
Of course, that beautiful, oh-so-familiar scent of coffee catches my attention first before anything else. The temptation is too much and I move to pour myself a cup before I can talk myself out of it. When I have what I want, I move to the side and lean against the counter casually. I should have stopped by my office first to drop off my purse, now I'm stuck carrying it.
I sip into my cup and discreetly scope out the room. I suppose the new doctor is at the center of the cluster of nurses flocked together in the corner of the room. I also suspect that that is where the donuts are at. Using the excuse of grabbing one, I nudge my way through the nurses to find the boxes of donuts laid out on the tables in the corner. I grab myself a strawberry frosted and bite into it, looking to my right to find a face I've never seen before. A beautiful woman with curly auburn hair and hazel eyes enraptures her listeners with whatever it is that she's saying. She looks to be somewhere between her mid-thirties or possibly even her early-forties. A moment after I notice her, she notices me. The nurses around her point to me and all exclaim, "that's her!" She turns to me and her eyes widen with realization and a huge smile spreads across her face. She approaches me instantly extending her hand forward for me to shake. "Hi! You must be Dr. Harleen Quinzel. My name is Dr. Daria Greene, it's so nice to meet you."
I take her hand and she shakes mine firmly and a bit enthusiastically. "Hi, nice to meet you. I take it your patient 4479's new doctor?"
She smiles proudly and nods. "Yes ma'am, that's me. When Dr. Arkham called I dropped everything to be here as fast as I could."
"Well, congratulations to you for getting the job and coming in the next day. Your enthusiasm is admirable." …And it won't last long either. That guy is not easy to work with, lady. You'll find out soon enough. Even before he did what he did, the Joker has always been a huge headache.
"Thank you." I move to walk away but Dr. Greene gently grabs me by my arm to stop me. "Um, actually Dr. Quinzel, I was hoping you and I could talk for a bit so that you can brief me on patient 4479. I read all of your submitted progress reports but I would so very much appreciate a one-on-one with you about your experience."
She wants to hear what I have to say about my experience? I suppose it is plausible to hear direct information straight from the horse's mouth. To be honest, I left out a ton of things from those progress reports so of course all of the information she would need, I have in my head. The question is, do I really want her to have that information? Do I want her to succeed in this? I suppose if I really want to move on with my life, than I have to pass all of this information along to the next person so I don't have to be involved with him anymore. I wouldn't want Dr. Arkham to come running to me if this woman can't do the job. So I guess it benefits me to tell her what I can about the Joker. Of course, I'm leaving out the soulmate thing. God knows I don't want anyone to know about that…
I smile at Dr. Greene assuredly. "Of course. I'd be more than happy to brief you on anything and everything. As a matter of fact, I have some personal notes up in my office that I think would be a great help to you."
Dr. Greene looks overcome with relief. "Oh, thank you so much! That would be beyond helpful. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Would you like to accompany me to my office now?"
"Yes please. Lead the way." She gestures for me to walk ahead. It occurs to me that she's new to the building and probably has no idea where anything is.
When we start our walk through the maze of hallways, I take the time to point out where every room of interest is. I also point out the best routes to get to different areas of the facility. I tell her which elevators are fast and which are slow, what times it's best to visit certain staff areas, and which places she should honestly just stay away from. By the time we reach my office, I've already loaded the doctor up with tons of good info.
I unlock my door and gesture for the woman to step inside. She takes a seat and I hang my purse up and take my rightful seat behind my desk. To be honest, I could care less whether or not she knows where everything is in the building. I was just saying all of that crap so I could delay talking about the person whom I'm choosing not to think about anymore. But the time has come to pass the torch, so let's just get this over with. I fold my hands over my desk and smile playfully at her. "So, let's get down to the nitty-gritty shall we? What do you want to know?"
The doctor crosses her legs and straightens up at attention. "Oh, where do I begin? I guess my first question would have to be… How did you do it? How did you get the Joker to open up to you?"
I laugh quietly to myself, thinking back on some rather frustrating sessions that I had with that clown. I remember trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth! He never told me a thing about himself. Well… never anything that I wanted to hear. I remember one time, I wanted to know one simple little thing about him, so, I asked him what his favorite color was. He responded with, "Why the color of your eyes doc. They're so cute, I'd love to pop them out and carry them in my pocket so I can look at them whenever I want." Who the hell says that? I'll admit, it was a bit flattering but strange nonetheless.
I realize that I'm reminiscing longer than I should and bring my full attention back to Dr. Greene. "Well, to be honest. I never was able to get him to open up to me. As you've read the progress reports, I'm sure you've noticed that I was never able to obtain any of the Joker's personal information. The man is an enigma, and I'm warning you that he's intent on remaining so. But I'll tell you this: although he never told me anything about himself, he did share with me many of his beliefs, theories, and views on the world and life. He could go on for hours talking about the different kinds of people there are in life. In his mind, he characterizes different people into strict categories based on their actions alone. He's exceedingly perceptive and to tell you the truth, not everything he says sounds so farfetched. But don't let him know that you think that. You'll fuel his ego and I swear, you'll never hear the end of it. Trust me."
At some point, Dr. Greene had leaned over with her elbow on my desk and her fist propped under her chin. She listened intently to everything I said. I felt like I could literally see the information being absorbed through her eyes. The woman was so amazed at what I was saying. "Wow… You seem to have gotten really close to him. You may not know any of his personal information, but you've gotten to know his character, his nature. It seems like you even know the way he thinks!"
I wave away the notion. "I don't think anyone could ever know what goes on in that head of his. But I suppose spending as much time with him that I did, I was able to pick up on how he would react to certain things. But his reactions are as unpredictable as his thought process too so…" I shrug my shoulders. "There really is no way of knowing anything with certainty when it comes to this man."
Dr. Greene shakes her head in astonishment and then eagerly moves on to her next inquiry. "Okay, so, I'm not surprised to hear that patient 4479 is difficult to study. I've done my research and it seems like he's a difficult man to categorize, given how many completely different diagnostics he's had over the years. But that was just stuff I read on paper. It's so extraordinarily amazing to hear an actual account of his character straight from the mouth of the person who got the closest; lasted the longest! So, what I want to know is how did you manage to have him allow you to treat him for so long? No doctor has ever lasted as long as you have. No one's even come close. I'd like to know what I can do to last at least half as long as you have."
"Hmm…" I tap my bottom lip pensively. I'm trying to remember if there was anything I ever really did for him to continue wanting to have therapy sessions with me. To be honest, nothing really comes to mind… "I'm not quite sure why the Joker allowed me to continue our therapy sessions. I never particularly did anything that I can say would be the reason why he was so interested in continuing to see me. But given the Joker's history, I think it's safe to assume that he'll let you know on your very first session whether he would like to continue having therapy with you or not. I remember my first session with him. He told me that same day that he was willing to see me again. And other doctors before me knew his feelings about themselves quite clearly after their first sessions too…" More than half of them were killed on their first day…
I can see that Dr. Greene understands what I'm saying and the discouragement is slowly starting to show on her face. I can't have that. I'm not going to let her feel down before she's even tried. I really need this to work out for her! I have a feeling that if it doesn't, Dr. Arkham is going to send me back to him, and I can't do that. "Don't get discouraged if your session doesn't start out great. Mine certainly didn't. When I began the session, he would not stop staring at me. He wore this blatant, intense expression; it terrified me! And I had to pretend like it didn't bother me at all when really, I was a nervous wreck on the inside. What made matters worse was that he didn't speak to me for practically the entire session."
Dr. Greene's eyes widen in shock. "Really?"
I nod, sighing in remembrance of that day. "Yeah. It was really awful. I was so uncomfortable. He wasn't answering any of my questions or comments. I didn't know what to do. It wasn't until near the end of the session where he finally spoke up and told me that he was willing to work with me. So, I guess what I'm saying here is: If your session seems like it isn't going great, don't let that bother you or deter you. The Joker can flip like the switch of light at any moment. He might try to make you feel uncomfortable just to see how you handle it. If you do good under pressure, then I'm sure he'd be willing to see you again. Just don't let the first impression fool you. He may act one way, but he does it so that you don't see the direction he's heading. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Dr. Greene is quiet for a moment but she eventually slowly nods her head in agreement. "I actually think that I completely understand what you're saying. Thank you for the advice. I'm definitely going to bear in mind everything that you just said."
"Good."
"And…" Dr. Greene starts hesitantly. "There is one last thing that I'm curious about."
"Sure, what's on your mind?"
"I don't understand why you suddenly stopped treating him. Dr. Arkham didn't seem to know why either. At first when I got the news that the position had opened up, I assumed that something terrible had happened to you but Dr. Arkham assured me otherwise. And you do seem fine. So why did you stop?"
Hmm, how do I explain this? I obviously have to lie about it. "I suppose you could say that I felt trapped."
Dr. Greene looks confused. "Trapped? How?"
"Well… I didn't feel we were going anywhere. For a while, we weren't making any progress and I suddenly got the feeling that I had taken him as far as I could. I felt that I was incapable of helping him any further so it would only be appropriate for someone else to step in and take the reins; Take his treatment further than I could. That's why I'm very hopeful that you're that person Dr. Greene. I sincerely hope that you can do what I couldn't."
She smiles at my sincerity. "Well I certainly hope I can too. I'm going to try my hardest."
I turn in my seat to reach into one of my desk drawers to pull out my stack of notes. "Before I forget, let me give you what notes I can. I really hope that they help."
"Oh, I'm sure that they will. This conversation alone has done wonders. I can only imagine what insight your notes will offer."
I put the stack of notes in my lap and flip through them. I can't hand her the entire stack. I doodled in a lot of them. How embarrassing and dangerous would that be if she saw my H + J encased in a heart doodle? All of the notes that are doodle free are placed on the desk. The others go back in my drawer.
Let's see… That one's safe. And that one's safe. That one is too. Oops. This one isn't. It has a tiny sketch of Mr. J in a tuxedo on the corner of it. I'm not half bad. I need to make a mental note to tap more into this side of me. I should start picking up more hobbies to keep me busy at home. Why not drawing?
When I've got them all sorted out I push the stack on my desk towards her and I shut my desk drawer closed. I'll burn the others later.
Dr. Greene shuffles through them carefully. Her eyes scan and examine as much as they can between each page that she turns. After a while she finally looks up at me. "Thank you so much for these Dr. Quinzel. I could never thank you enough for how helpful you've been."
"It's no trouble at all. Please feel free to come to me for anything, anytime."
Dr. Greene stands and courtesy dictates that I do the same. She extends her hand to me and I take it. She gives me one good shake before letting go. "Thanks for everything. I'm going to go read these as fast as I can before my session starts. I've only got an hour left."
"Oh of course. Go study." I gesture her towards the door and I sit myself back down. Before she completely leaves my office, I remember to wish her well. "Good luck down there Dr. Greene." She smiles at me before closing the door behind her.
She really does seem like a really nice woman. Maybe Mr. J will take a liking to her… I ignore the pang in my chest at that thought. Despite everything, that bastard can still make me feel a certain way.
Dr. Greene is unsurprisingly beautiful. I was expecting that. What I wasn't expecting was that she would be noticeably older than me. I had seriously thought that Dr. Arkham would hire someone as young as me, but I suppose since in the end, I didn't really work out, he figured he should hire someone with more experience. It makes sense. Take the beautiful woman element, but find it in someone with more experience and expertise. I can see why he thought she was the perfect choice. Let's hope she makes it. It would give me such peace of mind knowing that the Joker is getting the help that he needs. Because God knows that he needs it…
During my conversation with Dr. Greene, I noticed that there was a huge brown envelope sitting in my metal basket at the corner of my desk. This must have my new patients' info in it. I've been looking forward to opening this. I grab the envelope and open it as quickly as I can. Three patient files fall into my hands. The first is named Julian Gregory Day. It seems that he has an obsession with holidays, weekdays, seasons, and anniversaries. He has a history of doing themed crimes tied to specific days. He has a high intelligence and is a well renowned inventor in his own right. He's in his mid-forties and has a head as bald as a baby's bottom. At least he did when he took this patient registration photo. Who knows if he was shaving his head on purpose. Some guys do that…
The second patient is named Arnold Wesker, a man born into a long dead mafia family. He's developed a dissociative identity disorder in which he personifies a 1920's gangster through a dummy modeled after Al Capone. He's conducted several successful armed robberies and is a skilled criminal strategist. Makes sense given the family that he was born into. …And he's another baldy… He's got some hair on the sides of his head but just barely; he's in his early fifties. Am I detecting a pattern here? I bet the last patient is an old baldy too…
Oh no, I was wrong. This guy is in his early thirties. His name is Edward Nigma. Now this man has a really high intelligence. He's obsessed with riddles, puzzles, and word games. According to this, he suffers from delusions of grandeur and is very flamboyant and ostentatious. He's skilled with engineering and technology. He also has applaudable investigative skills. Geez, this guy sounds intimidating. But I've already dealt with the baddest of the bad, so this guy should be a piece of cake compared to who I was working with. In his photo, he has green eyes and a head full of brown hair. It's not that I have a thing against bald guys. I just thought that I was sensing a pattern and I was about to get really mad at Dr. Arkham because I would've known what he was he doing if what I thought I sensed was true. Luckily it wasn't, so I'm taking my suspicions back.
It seems that Dr. Arkham is pretty confident in me after all. None of these patients are being held in the minimum-security ward. That means that Dr. Arkham trusts me with hard-core patients. Mr. Day and Mr. Wesker are both being held in the co-ed ward. There's a good amount of security there but it's nothing compared to max. As a matter of fact, it seems that Mr. Nigma is being kept down in maximum-security. I'm glad that I got a high-profile patient but to be honest, I was kind of hoping to stay away from that ward for a while… But it's fine. I can be professional. Besides, it's not like I'm just going to bump into him one day. They keep the Joker in the isolation section of the ward. Mr. Nigma isn't being held on that side of maximum.
Now I'm not going to have any sessions with them today or anything, but I would like to stop by their cells and introduce myself if I can. But before that, I have three whole sets of paperwork that I'm going to have to fill out before I'm even allowed to interact with them. Aaaaand I don't see that any of that paperwork was left here on my desk so I'm going to have to run to several different offices to pick up what I need and then spend several hours here at my desk filling them out.
It took me thirty minutes to gather all of the paperwork that I needed and I'm currently two hours in in filling them out. I've finished filling out everything regarding Mr. Day, and I'd like to say that I'm almost done filling out everything for Arnold Wesker too but… There's still a good amount of paper left. And don't get me started on Nigma's paperwork; he has the most, being a maximum security patient and all…
I don't think I'm going to be able to visit all of these guys today. I have too much to do here. Although once I turn in Mr. Day's paperwork, I'll be all clear to go see him. But, I think I'd rather wait and get everybody's paperwork done today, that way I can just get it all out of the way. I guess I'll visit them all tomorrow and then-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHEEEEEHAHAHAHAHA!
I freeze immediately and listen to the laughter as it passes. I look up at the clock and notice that the Joker should be well into his first session with Dr. Greene. I wonder if that means it's going well… I can't help but slump in my seat. Good for her, I guess…
I go back to writing, albeit slower than I was before.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHHAAAHA!
Jeez, shut up- I get it okay? You're having such a wonderful time with your new doctor. I don't care! Keep it down and leave me alone.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
That son of a- I'm never going to get any work done like this…
DR. QUINZEL~ DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE GOING TO GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY?
WHAT THE HELL? Did I just hear him say a perfect sentence?! I pause waiting to hear more but I get nothing. Suddenly I get the feeling that he's waiting for a response, so I think of one.
I'm not trying to get rid of you, I just don't want to be anywhere near you.
There's nothing but silence for a while and suddenly I feel dumb for trying to communicate with him. It must've been dumb luck that I was able to hear him so clearly. He and I have never had a strong connection so it was stupid of me for thinking that I could actually get in touch with him now when things are so bad between us. I go back to filling out my paperwork when I freeze again at the sound of his voice.
YOU MADE A BIG MISTAKE KIDDO. NOBODY TURNS THEIR BACK ON ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.
I take a moment to respond. I can't believe this is happening right now.
What're you going to do? You gonna kill me Mr. J?
THAT WOULD BE SO EASY, WOULDN'T IT? I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER PLANNED FOR YOU.
A cold chill runs up my spine.
Oh yeah?
ARE YOU UP FOR A LITTLE GAME HARLEEN?
I lean back in my chair, smirking at his absurdness.
Of course not, but it's not like I have a choice right? So, what did you have in mind?
ATTA GIRL! COME ON DOWN AND I'LL SHOW YA.
I look up at the clock and bite my bottom lip. Dr. Greene is still supposed to be with him. I hope she's okay… Hopefully, he's thinking about all this while he's in his session. If I think this way, then I'm okay with going down to maximum to see how things are going. I'll just pop my head in and won't even be seen. If he's alone… I'm coming right back up and calling security.
I have a really bad feeling about his though… I should just stay here and work, but… as always, my curiosity is getting the best of me and I can't ignore it. I gotta go down and take a quick peek; see what he's up to. It's gonna be no good, that's for sure. But it's good to know that security is top notch down there so how much trouble could he really stir up?
With that, I get up and leave my office and head down to maximum security.
I step out of the elevator and walk down the familiar hallway. Instead of going towards the maximum security gate, instinct tells my feet to go the opposite direction towards our old therapy room. When I get there, I don't see Lyle or Jerry waiting around anywhere, but the lights in the room are on, so I approach. When I get closer, I notice faint red footsteps on the floor that indicate someone exiting the room in a hurry. A cold chill runs up my spine. This has happened before… with Guy… He's making me relive it! I know what's waiting on the other side of that door, I've seen this before…
Anyone else would have walked away, but I just couldn't. I have to keep going. If he wants to put me through this again, then so be it. I'll take anything he throws at me head on. If he thinks he's going to break me again, he is horribly mistaken.
When I open the door, I see exactly what I was expecting to see. Dr. Greene's mutilated and bloody body rests in a corner of the room. The table and chair were thrown to the side during the confrontation. Dr. Greene's Auburn hair covers her face, for which I'm grateful. Her hair looks matted in some parts; he must have been dragging her from her hair. The blood trails blend in smoothly with her auburn locks but the stains decorating her white coat do so rather grotesquely. There's bloody footprints all over the room. Not to mention a pool of it blooming around the doctor's head. You can tell he dragged her to that corner by the trail left beneath her legs. And of course, the most obvious thing in the room is the message he left for me. In big red letters on the wall above the deceased doctor, he wrote: HIDE AND SEEK.
Just as I finish reading it, the power goes out. Not just in this room, the hallway goes black too. I start panicking but after a minute, the backup generator kicks in and the emergency lights go on. These lights are even worse than the usual ones (as if that were possible..). They're extremely dim, red-lit lights. They don't offer much comfort. Sure, I can see everything again, but now everything that I see is obscurely red. How will I know what red is real and what red is only red because of the lights?
After another five minutes, a loud blaring signal starts blasting from the hallway repeatedly. It's so loud and obnoxious and annoying. Thinking back on a certain protocol that I was briefed on, when that siren rings, it's supposed to signal a code red violation and the entire facility is supposed to go on lock-down. Well… with these fuckin' lights, code red seems right to me.
I turn to leave the room but bump into someone when I open the door. I didn't hear him coming on account of the loud ass blaring siren. I find that it's Lyle, looking scared out of his mind. With the door open, the sound of the alarm is much, much louder. I try to scream over it to communicate with Lyle.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?!"
Lyle cups his ear. "WHAT?!"
"I SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"
Lyle pushes me in the room and follows, closing the door behind him. "What did you say?"
I sigh and drop my hands dramatically. "I said, what the hell is going on?"
Lyle suddenly looks very grim and he looks me in the eye and says, "The inmates have taken over the asylum."
My eyes widen and I freeze, feeling every muscle in my body tighten with fear.
Oh. Shit…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
AN: Hey guys! I hope everyone spent their holidays well; I know I did. I've just been chilling this whole vacation and I love it! I'm always on my feet so this is a nice change.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it's the longest one yet!
Thank you to everyone who reviews, I enjoy reading them so much, they're such a treat to me.
Thanks for sticking with the story thus far and I hope to see you all in the next chapter! Peace.