Text Written in Italics is them speaking in English, regular text is them speaking in Japanese as they are Japanese and English. I was not kidding about that slow burn though, what was supposed to be 3 parts is becoming multiples.

Also, the rating is going to have to go up because Suicidal thoughts and actions are taken to attempt Suicide occur this chapter. This is a trigger warning, it's not a usual way to try but he still does try. Please be mindful. I don't want to upset anyone but this chapter has been in the works since the last update, I put a lot of thought into the situation, I'm sorry.

Hisashi had not been lying about crazy people and villains flocking to the month of October like a hoard of moths to a raging bonfire. Izuku barely had time to enjoy the local festivities beyond pulling double shifts because so many newbies would get hurt because the villains and suspects that came out to start something during October came out dressed to the nines. It wasn't just a bank robbery to them, it was a do or die robbery taking as many as they could with them. It kept his mind off the issues at home but it did nothing to quell his anxiety that was beginning to bleed into his work; American villains were ruthless but it seemed to get worse come the month of Halloween, it was definitely a trend as his teammates' mood was a collection of irritation, lack of sleep, and disenchantment with their society as a whole.

"It's all downhill from here Deku, Christmas is coming and that means more Hell than you would think…" Elastix lamented over their lunch break, Sticker Bush made a noise of agreement and Izuku frowned.

"Really? Holidays back home are generally quieter than the rest of the year for criminal activity…it gets worse here?" he questioned with a worried grunt; Sticker Bush nodded and grumbled something under his breath before sitting up. They were all very tired, ready for their double shift to end and earn them a well-deserved two days off just in time for Halloween meaning Izuku would not be on call and could attend the party if he so wished.

"Here villains and criminals get antsy around the holidays, it makes more work for us and lucky you, you're going home just in time as to avoid our messed up holiday scheduling. We still follow the rules but sometimes you go from shift to on call, back to shift, back to on call. You don't get proper rest, especially if there are multiple events in one day." he huffed, taking a swig from his water bottle and crumpling up his trash from his sandwich.

"But holiday pay is nice. I made bank last year…" Elastix chimed in with a smirk that caused Sticker Bush to snicker and nod along with him. Izuku hummed and sipped at his bottle of green tea and turned his attention to the windows lining the break room, cartoonish spider had been put up on the windows with some smiling pumpkins that resembled some of the more popular American heroes, surprisingly he could see one of All Might in the mix and it made his chest ache faintly as he tore himself away to look anywhere but the windows. Hisashi and him had hit a stalemate, they worked, ate dinner, and then would sit in a long silence while the tv droned on about the current events going on. Occasionally Izuku would appear on the local news in his hero uniform, giving a warm smile to the interviewer as he explained the situation; he always wondered if his friends were keeping tabs on his exploits over here in the States like he kept tabs on them.

Todoroki had been successful in starting up a new hero branch, the last nail in the coffin of him and his father's relationship. Yaoyorozu had jumped a few slots in the ranking after a successful rescue mission team up with Kirishima that Izuku had watched the live coverage of excitedly as they handled the disaster with ease and grace, though deep down Izuku knew they were probably stressed out of their minds. What was confusing, however, was Ochako's lack of news appearances, Kacchan was all over but she was missing from a lot of footage, even reporters were being to notice. Izuku remembered some interview footage Asui had tagged him on in one of the forums, Kacchan giving a reporter the bird and telling them to 'Fuck off, Leave my wife alone.' In his most gentle and polite tone, he could muster which wasn't either of those things, it was still cute to see him defensive of her and Izuku figured she had a reason for the time off.

The shift came to a close at 7 pm, letting Izuku make it come to flop onto the couch with a loud sigh of exasperation. Hisashi was definitely home, Izuku could hear him in the kitchen rummaging around, but sleep was what he wanted more than anything in that moment.

"Izuku?" Hisashi called, stepping out of the kitchen and noting the young man sprawled out on his couch with a soft chuckle and a heavy sigh

"Come on, don't let my hard work go to waste." He patted Izuku playfully, causing the young man to cry out in surprise and tumble to the floor followed by a series of giggles. Hisashi smiled and motioned to the kitchen

"It's been awhile but, I thought maybe we could have our own Obon celebration tonight, in case you feel like being sociable with your new friends tomorrow at the party." Hisashi offered, Izuku blinked slowly and sat up to look at his father better.

"I make some yakitori, well, as good as I could get it with my stove having a mind of its own and all. I had to order the manju though…You never met my parents and I don't expect you to know them or care for them as I did but…" he trailed off and Izuku stood.

"No, it's ok. I don't mind at all…they were important to you…Mom doesn't really talk to her parents so guess I have just gotten used to not seeing or hearing from grandparents." Izuku gave him a nervous smile and Hisashi looked surprised for a moment before settling into something warmer and peaceful. Izuku followed him to the kitchen and took note of the picture from, his didn't resemble the shrines he would see at funerals or in his friends' homes after a relative had passed. It was simpler, and photo old film as it had faded to dingy sepia color; Izuku could see the longing on Hisashi's face as he looked at the photo, this impromptu remembrance of the dead made his stomach roll at the thought of having to attend funerals in the future, he couldn't quite imagine the loss of his mother just yet but he surely could see Toshinori peacefully in his sleep even if the man had been stubborn and strong until the end. Izuku shook himself out of his thoughts in respect for his father, letting Hisashi say a few words in prayer before settling in for the meal;

"What were your parents like?" Izuku asked, setting some of the yakitori on his plate and little bit of rice. Hisashi hummed, helping himself to the food and snorting through his nose briefly before smirking at Izuku

"Hard asses." He blurted and Izuku sputtered looking at Hisashi with wide eyes.

"I'm not lying, they definitely were hard asses, they expected a lot from me growing up…and they didn't like how mousy your mom was, so I married her anyway." Hisashi mused, looking at the picture fondly.

"Mousy?"

"Meek and Mild, they felt she was too passive for someone like me, I was pushy, headstrong, caused them a lot of trouble and for me to pick someone like Inko. They thought I was going to cheat on her left and right and she wouldn't say a word…things were always rocky between me and my parents. Maybe that's why…I wanted to patch things up with you, I didn't want to be like my family. Stubborn until the day we died, being their only child I probably should take better care of them now but…Japan isn't home anymore." Hisashi grew quieter as he spoke, his last few words barely a whisper. Izuku frowned looking at the portrait of two rather straight-faced looking people, the woman wore a stern expression for someone so young and the man looked downright angry.

"I may not be as bad as my folks had been, but I guess I was partially worse, abandoning you and your mother the way I did."

"…You didn't abandon us completely…I will agree what you did was terrible and cause a great deal of pain for everyone involved, but you still helped support us up until the divorce." Izuku offered and received a tired smile in reply before Hisashi's expression turned grim and withdrawn.

"I want to bring up my reasoning for this little Obon festival, we haven't really had time to talk since things started picking up but just from those brief mentions and interactions….Izuku, did something happen between you and your step-father?" Hisashi asked, folding his hands together neatly and fixing his son with a patient look. He was worried, rightfully so given that the young man was throwing himself into work, avoiding his step-father to a point Hisashi had even received and email from Inko just a few days ago. It wasn't his place to step in but Inko had contacted him directly, not through their son but an email voicing her concerns about the young hero and where this behavior had come from.

Izuku paled, going from a tired contentedness to high alert, eyes widening by the second; it seemed all notion of continuing their meal casually was gone. Hisashi could see the walls going up, Izuku taking calming breaths as the invisible panic gripped him again, and it pained him to see his son like this. Something he couldn't control dragging such a bright and shining soul through the ringer. The air was charged with an anxious energy just waiting for the right spark to ignite it, Hisashi could see the wheels turning behind his son's eyes and took a deep breath.

"I ask this of you because if there is something wrong, I want you to tell me. I have no right to pry but the least that I ask of you is to confide in me, please?" Hisashi pleaded gently, unlinking his fingers and pressing his hands to the table earnestly.

"I may have been absent, but I think I would've had to been blind not to see the hurt you're feeling when Toshinori is brought up, you're always so quick to hide it too…" Hisashi trailed off, silently praying that Izuku would yield and tell him what was going on. He went searching Izuku's expression for any wavering movements, signs he would give in and tell him.

Izuku sat like a stone statue, mind reeling and insides curling and rolling, threatening to make him sick as he tried to steady his breathing while the pressure on his chest continued to build. It was much worse than the previous incident, and each breath was getting harder and harder to draw in, he could barely suck in enough air to prevent his vision from blurring any worse with the tears building up. Yet, he tried to save face, to follow in Todoroki's example and be still, calm, collected, just enough to make it through without breaking. Unfortunately, he was not Todoroki, he didn't have years spent bottling emotions away. Izuku was open, had cried freely his entire childhood when he took beatings from bullies and slander, had sobbed openly into his mother's embrace after graduating from U.A. and now he was trying to be someone he was not. He was not closed off and guarded like Todoroki…nor was he All Might. He couldn't smile through this, he didn't know if he would be able to manage a smile after the coming weeks hit him head-on.

Izuku could be brave and passionate, flashing a wide grin to the people his saved like his mentor, his father figure; but he was still Izuku. The will to smile through this, grin and bear the pain he felt was becoming an impossibility. He was beginning to shake as he held a shuddering breath in his lungs, the need to breathe was overwhelming but he refused to take in air. He was choking on his own hesitance and Hisashi leaped out of his seat

"Izuku!?" he cried, gripping the young man's shoulders trying to get him to look at him, wide frightened eyes looking for the source if distress when a cracking sob erupted from the boy's mouth and Izuku jerked forward. Hisashi froze and Izuku inhaled finally, gasping, heaving breaths interrupted by broken sobs that sounded strangled and choked out as he shook in Hisashi's grasp and continued to cry.

"It's ok." Hisashi managed, he had never seen this of anyone he'd held close; not even Inko had cried so heavily in all his years of knowing her, never had it been this hurt and disastrous; half thinking Izuku was going to pass out from the frantic pace he was setting as he took in air.

"Izuku, try to breath slower, ok?" Hisashi soothed as the sobs lessened, it still broke his heart to hear such cries but if this continued too much longer he was going to have to take Izuku to the hospital, or somewhere that could help him calm his son. He could only watch as the boy struggled to keep his breathing even and snot and tears streamed down his face, hiccupping cries came at random and Hisashi held him tight. Izuku was taller, had a little more mass the Hisashi but that didn't deter him from holding the young man, grounding him as he rode out the storm that had been building inside him for a long time.

Hisashi had seen enough breakdowns in his life to know this was one, he had suffered one alone in his early months of being away from Inko and their young son, now cradled in his arms breaking under a pressure Hisashi couldn't take away even if he were the mightiest of men.

"Izuku, please, you need to calm down. I know it's hard but if this keeps up I'm going to have to take you somewhere that can help. Please. Take a deep breath." Hisashi instructed, watching as Izuku rasped out another cry before nodding and inhaling as deep as he could. The flow of tears began to slow, and Hisashi continued to give him commands to take deep breaths, one after the other until Izuku began to relax. They had fallen to the floor what felt like hours ago though it had only been a long few moments that had stretched too long for comfort. Dinner had gone cold by the time Izuku was calm enough to breath without command and blew his nose into a tissue, sniffling miserably on the floor. Hisashi cleaned up in silence before sinking to the floor next to his son, the box of manju set between them and he learned again the lower cabinets and looked at Izuku. His age showed, the tired circles and wrinkles from stress and wear on his body, Hisashi had never been in a situation where he had felt true fear, but watching that unfold. He wouldn't wish it on anyone.

"…Whatever it is…please, Izuku, just tell it to me as best you can?" he pleaded, watching Izuku carefully. He sniffled again and nodded slowly, he picked at one of the manju before taking a bite and chewing, he looked ready to burst into tears again and Hisashi readied the box of tissues. Izuku swallowed thickly and forced a quivering smile

"I'm sure you haven't forgotten, how I said I was like a parasite…" Izuku began and Hisashi nodded in response waiting for him to continue.

"I said that I took my quirk from someone, inherited and made it my own. In the process, I take a little more from them each day. I just take and take until there will be nothing left!" Izuku forced through gritted teeth, curling in on himself and feeling the disgust settling in his stomach as he glared at the confection in his hands. He remembered eating them with his mother around Christmas or special occasions, sometimes she would bring them home for no reason at all, and he would pretend to not notice how red and puffy her eyes looked.

"I don't believe that." Hisashi affirmed carefully, Izuku laughed, though it sounded forced and bitter,

"But that's my reality. My reality is living with this, I can't stop it and I just get to watch as it gets worse…I took it from him, my mentor…I took it from All Might…I took it from Toshi." Izuku cried, voice going tight as his stomach twisted painfully and he dropped the treat to bury his face in his hands. Hisashi blinked as everything seemed to suddenly 'click'. Hisashi had vaguely remembered the media blowing up about All Might's true from revealed but he had never paid much mind to hero stuff unless it had been about Izuku. If he looked back there had been mentions of a mentor in Izuku's life, then suddenly in walked Toshinori. They had been one in the same, the reason for Izuku's growth had been the same man.

"That doesn't mean you're a parasite…you may be getting stronger but that's your own power growing, you're not taking it from Toshinori…" he soothed only for Izuku to snap at him and give him an enraged glare

"But I am! Toshinori's health is on the decline, I have never been more scared for him…he collapsed and I've never seen mom so upset…he just keeps getting worse Hisashi…every day that I continue to grow I take a little more of him and I'm scared…I'm not ready to be All Might. I can't be All Might if I can't even manage a smile…" Izuku cried softly and Hisashi frowned.

"You don't have to be him." He stated firmly; Izuku froze and looked up with wide eyes streaming tears down his face. He looked awestruck, confusion boiling just behind the tears.

"If Toshinori…if All Might hasn't told you that you don't have to be him than he's really dropped the ball." Hisashi grunted and Izuku blinked, letting a few more tears fall.

"…you don't understand, I'm his successor, I have to stand up and become the symbol of peace." Izuku quavered only for Hisashi to snort and fix his son with a firm, yet loving stare.

"You. Are. Not. Him." He enunciated each word and pointed at Izuku and jabbed his finger into the boy's chest gently.

"You, are Izuku Midoriya. You are Deku. My son, Inko's son, Toshinori's son. You are not any symbol and you don't have to be. No man your age should shoulder the weight of the world alone. You don't have to be a standalone symbol. The Symbol of peace could be you and your team, it could be a group of people dedicated to a cause. All Might was the symbol of peace but just because you are the successor does not mean you must follow his footsteps to a T. His like has been hard, you say his health on the decline, I can tell you he got there by going alone. You don't." Hisashi proclaimed grabbing the boy's shoulder and making sure he looked into his eyes as he spoke so Izuku would see it, the brutal honesty Hisashi was laying down. Izuku looked stunned, he had never been told he had another option, it has always been assumed he would have to step up to take the place All Might had left, to smile through his own burdens and take the world head-on.

"You can smile. You can be a hero who smiles through thick and thin…but you don't have to force it. Sometimes, it is ok to let yourself cry and keep the smile for another day." Hisashi offered, pulling back to rest against the lower cabinets again and taking a manju for himself while Izuku sniffled quietly and pondered his father's words. The air was no longer charged with a thick tension of something about to break but instead was just full with a lulling silence. Izuku went to bed after a shower, exhausted from his crying while Hisashi pulled out an old book of contacts and looked up a registry for counseling centers. He had to admit he was a little miffed at Toshinori, but could not blame him. He had, had no idea that Izuku felt this way and it wasn't his place to tell him, Izuku had confided in him and if didn't want Toshinori to hear his raw thoughts just yet it was not Hisashi's place to tell them.

That didn't stop him from preparing a few numbers to call after he got off work the next day. Izuku needed to talk to someone more qualified, he would have to inform Inko he had advised their son to seek professional help, he couldn't just do that behind their backs. He didn't sleep easy, a worried knot in his stomach as he thought about Izuku, only 21 and already trying to fill a man's shoes; the man practically being a former God and the shoes being much too large for Izuku to fill as he was now. Perhaps when he was older, wiser, and understood the world better though he had definitely seen more horrors and macabre displays than many of the hero graduates in this country. Izuku had more experiences in school than he had, had in the field practically and it troubled Hisashi to think of where this mind set had come from. That he needed to be like All Might…and what that was doing to him mentally.

Izuku had promised to attend the Halloween Party the last he had seen Sticker Bush and co. however, he was beginning to regret the idea of going out. He didn't have their cell numbers so it wasn't like he could back out now and he didn't want to worry Hisashi anymore than he already had. He could see it in his eyes during breakfast, the worried glances sent his way over Hisashi's mug of coffee. Izuku did his best to make a show of feeling better, that venting had given him the rush of relief many claimed to run through them after a good cry; Izuku was still left waiting for it, yet not relief had come to grace him just yet. If anything it seemed him opening up to Hisashi had left him open to bitter thoughts that turned dangerous if lingered upon. He could feel his chest tightening in anticipation but he didn't know what for, the hair on his neck stood up warning him for something but he was left wondering what that something could be. It left him antsy and wishing he could pick up a shift without being penalized.

He found himself craving activity of any sort and opted for a walk before he needed to head over to the office for the Halloween Party, he didn't really have a costume and figured going in casual clothes would be costume enough as it was rare to see him at work in anything but his uniform. If felt nice outside, milder than he had expected given it was the end of October and Hisashi had recited horror stories of the weather getting crazy around this time of year. He didn't have a destination in mind, he wandered for a little while, taking in scenery and trying to shake the feeling prickling along his skin and keeping him on edge.

There was a sudden pop, and a building nearby exploded outward, flames licking at the surroundings and screams pouring out in mass like a choir. Izuku's hand jerked towards his phone tucked safely in his pocket when a strange feeling crawled up his spine and the action to notify the agency was halted in favor of dashing ahead towards the disaster. It wasn't like that time long ago with Kacchan, this was different, another need propelling him forward and from the way, his brain was reacting it was the wrong thing to trust. He could save people, he could save them with a wide smile and assure them that everything was going to be ok. Right now…

He wasn't anything like a hero. There was a drive, a will to do something. It was terrifying yet at the same time, the feeling was euphoric as he neared the display of entropy, a mantra pounding in his head linking back to the first terrifying thought that had born into his heart. An opportunity had presented himself, and something inside him wanted to take full advantage of it.

I shouldn't have been born.

A selfish thought, a selfish wish; Izuku had, had a good life, he had, had close family and dear friends. He had no reason to long for a death, a life cut short; but if he could take it back, perhaps things would have been better for everyone. Maybe ending things now…they would get better for everyone because he wasn't there. There was power behind the thought as he stood before the inferno of molten metal and shattering glass descend upon him, there was a snap deep in his chest and finally, finally, relief.

He didn't keep his eyes open for very long, the wash of relief washing through him quickly only to be yanked backwards, his name screeched out at the top of someone's lungs, the relief soured into panic and he gasped as his eyes shout open to see his team, the friends he had made in uniform dragging him away from the hellfire falling from the rapidly collapsing building. He almost didn't recognize them out of costume but he did recognize his supervisor, staring at him in mild horror before she slapped him, demanding if he understood what he had just done. He'd jeopardized his and his teammate's safety, he'd willingly put himself into danger…he was going to let himself be killed. He had planned to kill himself, impulsive as it was, he had still thrown himself into the emergency, had acted selfishly; hadn't moved to save a soul.

Izuku was taken to the agency in a cop car, placed in her office, breathing stiltedly as his actions set in. His stomach churning dangerously as he tried to keep himself together, a thinly stitched together as he wasn't he didn't want to breakdown in front of his supervisor. A police officer was posted at the door and he could hear yelling outside, he wasn't a teenager anymore, he was an adult, a grown-up who should be able to grin and bear it all, he should be like Toshinori; but he couldn't. He found, much to his disgust, that the pooling regret was not at attempting to let himself be crushed and burned to death, but that he had failed at it, his mind reeling with alternatives that made his stomach lurch at each new hissing plan oozing into him and filling him to the brim. A quiet sob cut the silence of her office and she entered, face a glowering irritation before it softened and she sat across from him.

"Izuku, how long have you been thinking about this?" she asked carefully and he shook his head,

"I don't know, it just sort of happened."

"Izuku, I can't understand you, could you please speak English. Or try too, Hisashi is on his way to come get you…but I am afraid I am going to have to suspend your license until your mental health improves."

"I understand."

"I won't say I'm not angry because I am furious, but I can't say I haven't been where you are…I know it's stressful, and sometimes there is so much pressure building up that we feel we can't take it. I don't want to see you jeopardize anyone's safety or your own. The suspension will be issued to your Japanese branch as well." She finished as Hisashi burst into the room, eyes wide and disheveled. Izuku caved inward, he'd never seen so much fear in the man's eyes before, so much pain. He'd been briefed on the situation, rushing over from his commute home back to the office to retrieve Izuku, he was taken outside to be questioned, interrogated really if he had known, and he hadn't. He had known Izuku was suffering from anxiety, but not this, he hadn't known there was a drive in his son to do this. He accepted paperwork and phone numbers for therapists, recovery courses, and was given a mandatory time to bring Izuku in for psyche evaluation. In only a few short hours Hisashi had gone from understanding his son's pain a little better only to be thrust back into the dark, but he didn't press him, he didn't push him. They were escorted home, another cop car ride, Izuku balled up in the far corner of the back seat.

Hisashi didn't know what to say or do, he had been advised to not let Izuku out of his site until his psyche evaluation, watching for the young man to try again by some other means. He lead the young man into the apartment and let the silence bleed into the air, he didn't move, he didn't speak; he fell on the couch and stayed there, unmoving. Hisashi took his phone, slinking away to the other side of the living room, keeping Izuku in the corner of his eye and dialed Inko. She picked up immediately, bright and cheerful, expecting her son to greet her and Hisashi sobbed, the line going eerily quiet as he cried into it. There was no way to broque the subject of their son's attempted suicide via burning hellscape, the drive to end it propelling him into the collapsing horror.

"Hisashi…" she began softly, concern lacing her tone, "what's happened…?" she asked, he could hear the strain of crying in her voice.

"Inko, I'm so sorry. So sorry. I can't do this by myself. I need you and Toshinori…I need you to come here. Izuku's…he tried to kill himself. There was an accident downtown, a building exploded and collapsed, he just stood there. He just barreled into it and stood there…" Hisashi managed and Inko sniffled on the other end, hiccupping sobs reaching his hear and a man's voice cut in.

"Inko? What's wrong? Inko…Izuku?" the voice came in and out and he knew it to be Toshinori, the warm tone filling quickly with concern and panic. There was a shuffling and Toshinori was speaking to him, authority and command in his breaking voice

"We'll be there as soon as we can. We'll take the next flight out." He stated, Hisashi made a noise of affirmation and the call ended. Izuku hadn't moved, and neither did he, leaning again the wall staring at the young man like he would vanish the moment he blinked. He didn't think he would sleep tonight, or for a long time to come.