Chapter 2: Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

She leaned against his solid frame and enjoyed the sun's rays. Sure, it was their 10th anniversary, but Emily still felt the need to be touching as much of him as possible sometimes. As they relaxed in the soft hammock, skin on skin in their bathing suits, she knew she never wanted to leave this spot.

"What will we do when we're old and grey?" she queried.

"Hmm," he pretended to think as he nuzzled her neck tenderly, "Have sex all the time?"

She swatted his arm benignly, "I mean when we can't be doctors."

"Have sex all the time?"

She could feel the smile on his lips as he kissed her bare shoulder. She rolled a little so she was lying on top of him, chest to chest, and could see his face.

"Why hello there, beautiful," he kissed her nose affectionately.

She smiled back at him. With the sunshine warming them both, there was nowhere else in the world she'd rather be.

"Emily," she felt a gentle tug on her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered a little, her face was a little crusty from crying. "Emily-"

The sunlight was painful but she forced herself to look at who was waking her. "Tyra-"

As her eyes adjusted, she noticed her surroundings. How did she get in an on-call room?

"Come on sleepy head, rounds start in 30 minutes."

"How did I get in here? I was on the roof-"

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Emily shot her a look, "Yeah, right. Well, the nurses are all abuzz with how Dr. Barnes carried you down from the roof last night and put you to bed."

Damnit. I almost forgot about last night.

"Oh, god." She rubbed her forehead thinking about the gossip, "Has Dr. Bandari heard?"

"How am I supposed to know? Rounds start in 20 and, although I am your friend, I am seriously looking forward to this mess playing out. You, Will, Cassandra, Micah- all in one room. I should sell tickets."

Emily had forgotten in all the drama that she'd been on the phone with Tyra when Will came over. Although she appreciated the coffee and the wake-up call, she wished the woman could only talk quieter. And less for that matter.

"Look, I know you are still confused-"

"Actually, I'm not," Emily put in, "I know what I want."

"And?"

"I had a crazy dream-"

"Dr. Owens, you are going to be late for rounds if you walk any slower," Dr. Bandari clipped as she passed them in the hallway.

"Oh god," Emily rubbed her forehead in a failed attempt to make all the embarrassment and pain of the past few days go away. Tyra, on the other hand, seemed to be valiantly trying (and failing) to refrain from laughing.

As rounds finally finished, Emily attempted to grab Micah's arm. "Can we talk?" She tried not to look too vulnerable and scared.

"Dr. Owens, I have a few patients to see to, but I'd be glad to go over the case after lunch." He nodded briskly before heading down the hallway.

His coldness stung, Emily admitted. Is this what I've done to our friendship? How did we get here? That is, until she saw the nurses with their eyes glued to the pair. Please, God, say that was for show- to avoid gossip.

"Emily, you wanted to talk?" Micah walked quickly to catch up with her as she left her patient's room. His hand gently cupped her elbow, his touch completely preventing her from forming strung together thoughts. Thankfully, he took control and guided them to her closet office.

Taking one deep breath, she spun around to face him and blurted, "I made my decision."

One more deep breath and slower, Owens. "I've been hung up on Will for so many years. But the thing is, I never said anything. Because saying something would have opened the door for all my fantasies to be obliterated. So instead I let myself build something completely different from reality in my head. Instead, I created the reality I wanted to be real. So he became perfect in my eyes and I couldn't see any of his flaws."

She got a little quieter. This was the hard part. Pulling her shoulders back, she pushed her hair out of her face and forced herself to look him in the eye. If I'm going to be rejected, again, I'm going to do it facing my fears.

"Do you know how I know I'm over Will? He's no longer perfect in my eyes. And- and- I don't mean in the made up 'he's 3 inches too tall' way that I used to- No, Micah, you've made me realize what I'm worthy. I'm not afraid to tell him no and, although I still love him as a friend, I realize that he treats me like crap."

Trying to defuse some of the tension and stress, she laughed a little hoping Micah would join. He remained leaning against the wall, arms crossed, paying close attention.

"When we kissed it wasn't the same, though. My brain didn't shut off. I wasn't incapable of breathing at the thought of losing him. I don't feel like I could just stare into his eyes for eternity and never miss the rest of the world… With you, I do."

Her eyes never left his - which may explain why she didn't realize he'd been walking towards her till he stood so close she was sure he could hear her heartbeat.

"I wouldn't have chosen Will because Will was never right for me. I don't even think the Will I built in my head was right for me. But this," she closed her eyes and leaned forward till their foreheads touched, "this feels right."

She was amazed she had gotten that all out. As the silence stretched out the confidence she so carefully built up came crashing down. He said nothing. But then again, he made no move to pull away.

She couldn't take it anymore. As she was about to laugh and pull back, he reached up to cup her cheeks. His thumbs drew soft circles and his eyes burned into hers. She never liked being the center of attention, but something about his eyes fascinated her. Emily had never known someone to look at her the way he did. Sure, she'd had some boyfriends. But Micah was … it was far more serious than that. Which was ridiculous because they weren't even dating. Yet.

"If the wheels in your brain turn any faster, I think steam will start to come out your ears," he quipped with a crooked smile. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist. She discovered she liked lying her head on his chest- she could count his heartbeats. Real and tangible, he was here. It was steady, if a little fast. Steady and calming.

"Thank you, by the way."

"What for?"

"Taking me off the roof and putting me in bed."

Goddamn, there is that sadness again. I hate making his eyes look like that. "You looked like you'd been crying all night when I got off my shift. I had been planning on finishing our conversation, but you looked like you needed the sleep."

"More like the dream," she mumbled.

"Wait, what?"

Damn his good ears.

"Oh, nothing."

"No way, Owens. You are not getting off that easy. You had a dream about me?" The teasing light came back and there was the mischievous smile again.

"God, this is so embarrassing."

His face deadpanned, "Be warned, have I been called The Tickler by my nieces. I know how to extract information."

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She loved it when he talked about his family. Her answer must have been too slow, though, because his arms wound around her waist before starting to poke her sides.

"Ok, ok," she laughed, "Oh my god, I can't believe I'm telling you this. I had a dream we were on vacation in St. Something…. And it may have been our 10th anniversary."

She tried to whisper the last part while wiggling away from him. She scooted into her chair and laid her head on the desk, unable to face her shame.

When she looked up, his chin was resting on the desk too and he whispered, "That's really sweet."

She smiled halfheartedly. "What were we doing?"

She groaned, "Don't make me say anymore."

"Please?"

His chocolate brown eyes were on fire they were so bright. He's happy. I can do this, look how happy it makes him.

"We were in a hammock talking about…."

Her voice got deadly quiet and she attempted her best to slip the last word by him "...sex."

She could hear him get up from his crouch. Oh my god, I had 10 minutes and here I've gone and ruined it again.

His arms snaked around her waist (she was beginning to believe it was his favorite spot) and he leaned down to whisper in her ear from behind, "Sounds like a nice talk."

With a gentle kiss to her earlobe, he was off to do that thing they both got paid for…. Dear god…. What did they get paid for?

Right, doctoring.