Categories: Humor, UST

Season 7 (before Pete!)

For some reason, I can't get the reply option to work for my reviews. So ... a big honkin' THANK YOU to all who've reviewed so far.

Try counting sheep, Sam, she thought. She squeezed her eyes fiercely shut and visualized sheep leaping over a fence.

But then her overactive – warped – mind skewed the images so that she now saw lots of Asgard leaping over the Stargate.

And now she started giggling.

"Carter …," the man beside her growled, sitting up in his sleeping bag, hair all on end. "What is the rule about giggling, again?"

"Sorry, sir," Sam apologized meekly.

Colonel O'Neill eyed her suspiciously – as they'd gotten to know each other better, she felt more free to be herself. "No you're not," he said.

No. She wasn't.

She suffered from insomnia on rare occasions, but had previously been able to go to the gym or her lab. Now … stuck on B7R 2YZ, her usual outlets were denied her.

So, that left her with only one recourse – bugging someone.

Daniel had been her first choice, but nothing short of detonating a brick of C4 would wake him.

And Teal'c. He was a good man, and she cared for him a lot, but he wasn't much on conversation.

Hence her attempt to browbeat her superior officer into staying awake.

While she'd been cogitating, said superior officer had fallen back asleep, snoring quietly into his bag.

She was thinking headlock.

She sighed again and flopped around in her sleeping bag, making as much noise as she could.

"Ah, fer cryin' out loud …," came the gravelly grumpy tones of her victim. He sat up and gave her his best Jack O'Neill eyeball of doom.

Funny … It had lost its effect on her after seven years. Teal'c had never been affected, nor had Daniel. It had worked on Jonas for a while, but even he'd come to see the soft center to the Colonel's hard-ass image.

He raked a hand through his hair and Sam's fingers itched to smooth it. Of all his many assets, and she fixated on the hair.

She was warped; she could accept that.

"I'm awake," the Colonel grumbled, squinting at her. "So … whatcha wanna talk about?"

Sam shrugged; she'd not expected him to cave so easily. "Uh … you choose," she said.

"Snoopy."

He was warped.

"Snoopy?" As in that dancing beagle?

"Yep." He pointed upward. "That constellation – if you kinda squint and tilt to the left – looks like Snoopy."

"Oh, brother," Sam mumbled. How could a man his age with his experiences be so child-like?

Yet she couldn't deny that it was part of his charm. Just another facet to this endlessly complex man.

His hands landed suddenly on her head, tilting it. "Now look," he insisted. "And remember to squint."

Yeah. He'd gone way beyond warped.

The man was now officially in loopy land.

"So … can ya see it?"

"Sorry, sir; I can't," Sam lied.

The Colonel looked like she'd run over a box full of puppies.

Heh; she was evil.

"Fine," he sulked, bringing his arms up to fold over his chest.

Awww, he's adorable.

Another thing about Sam Carter when suffering insomnia; she tended to become dominated by her id. And that id didn't recognize the reasons why she could never acknowledge her attraction to this man.

In fact, her id was very vocal in acquainting her with Colonel Jack O'Neill's finer qualities.

The soft silver hair.

The deep brown eyes.

The tall firm-muscled frame.

Slim, restless fingers.

Long dimples.

The delicious crease between his brows.

God; he's sexy.

Oh yeah; id was having a field day in the mush that now formed Sam's sleep-deprived brain.

"Carter? Hey, Carter!" Those slim restless fingers waggled in front of her eyes. "You still with us?"

"Uhh, yes sir; sorry," Sam blurted out, suddenly being overtaken by a wide yawn. "Wow; I think I might be getting tired."

Her CO rolled his eyes. "Finally!" he groused. He wriggled back down into his bag until all she could see of him was the untidy silver hair. "By the way, Carter …," he added.

"Yes, sir?" She followed his example.

He smirked. "Nice bed-head, Major."

Sam quickly sent her id back to its tiny cage. id pouted then got in one final parting shot.

"Nice butt, Colonel."

And Sam Carter – plus id! – finally went to sleep. With a big honkin' smug smirk on their lips.