I know it's late, and I have no real good excuse...here's some bellarke fluff as apology...(also angst bc i mean, let's be real)
I hope y'all like it! (also I sadly don't own The 100, otherwise bellarke would be canon and Raven would be treated right)
CHAPTER 10
The sounds of Jasper's agonized scream as the spear pierced his chest echoed in Clarke's head, and the image of his body lying on the ground with a puddle of blood growing around him filled her head. Another friend dead. She dug her fingernails into the skin of her palms hard enough to draw blood and focused on the pain.
She could feel Bellamy's eyes on her and knew he was wondering what story each scar on her body had to tell. Maybe one day she would tell him, but for now she was thinking, no, planning. If there were people on this speck of land in the sea, they had clearly demonstrated that they were not friendly. Definitely hostile. The image of Jaspers body hitting the ground filled her mind again, and she winced.
"We need to get back as soon as the rain lets up." Clarke said quietly. She hadn't wanted to break the tense silence in the cave, but they had to do something. Not only were they trying to survive stranded on an island without a ship, but now there were hostile natives attacking them. It really put a kink in Clarke's plans.
"We'll have to build a fence, or some kind of barrier." Bellamy said. She nodded, glad that they were on the same page again. The crackling of the fire was the only sound in the cave for another few moments. Clarke pulled her legs into her chest and leaned her head against them with her hands clutching her tangled excuse for hair. She felt Bellamy's warm calloused hand rub her back, and she sighed.
"We will survive, Clarke. We always do." He whispered. The corner of Clarke's mouth lifted and she turned her head so that she was looking into his warm eyes.
"You're right." She said with a small smile. He smirked, and raised his eyebrow.
"I'm always right." He joked, getting her to scoff in response. He pulled his hand away from her skin as she straightened up. He hadn't known why he reached out for her, and before he knew it his hand was touching her cool skin. She really was cold. The cool rain must have soaked right through her thin clothes, he thought. She reclined against her arms and Bellamy's eyes were drawn to the gruesome circular scars on her abdomen. Her stab wound was still fresh and she had abandoned the soaked gauze when she removed her shirt, revealing the true state of her injury. He quickly looked away, not wanting to be rude, but the princess was already staring intently at him. She pursed her lips, as if she was considering something, and looked up at the roof of the cave.
"You wanna know about them." She stated. Not a question, but a statement. He didn't respond, but he felt as if he didn't need to.
"In the prison camps, they use the prisoners as slaves and test subjects. Not only did we have to do hard labor for basically the entire day, while starving to death, but we were subject to their every whim. Guards take out their frustrations on us, and the white coats use us to test their new inventions." Clarke spat the last word out as if it was poison. Bellamy stayed silent, knowing this wasn't for his sake. Sometimes, people had to talk through their trauma to help recover, and this was one of those times.
"Usually, at least at Walden, when the white coats take you, you don't come back. Or if you do, you're changed and end up dying soon anyway. You know when they've picked someone because for two days they are denied what is considered food." A dark smile crossed her features, and she stayed focused on the dark ceiling above her. Her hands were shaking against the cave floor as she recanted her experiences.
"Those scars you were just looking at are from a specific form of mutated worm. A flesh-eating worm. They wanted to know how much a person could take, and what would happen depending on where the worms were placed. Luckily for me they wanted to keep my alive to see the effects. That's probably one of the only reasons I'm still alive." Clarke's lip quivered and she sat back up, and turned her face to the ground instead. Her hands started to scratch at her wrists, the pain helping her stay focused on the present rather than the tortures of the past. Harsh red lines started to appear on her skin, but before any blood could be drawn, Bellamy's hand grabbed hers and pulled it away from the red, angry skin.
Clarke looked up at him, pain clear on her face, and he looked at her, not with pity, but with understanding and acknowledgement. No, he hadn't felt anything close to the physical and mental abuses she had, but he knew pain. And he knew how much she would hate to be pitied. He was the same, after all.
"You survived. That's all the matters." He said earnestly. She blinked back the tears that filled her eyes.
"What if not all of me survived?" She asked softly. Bellamy saw the fear in her eyes, and suddenly knew that she was afraid of turning into someone like Finn, someone who would sacrifice their humanity and others for themselves.
"You survived, Clarke. No matter what, I know you are still a good person, and still care about the wellbeing of others. Not even those bastards could destroy your humanity." He replied, gripping her hands tighter. Clarke smiled and nodded. Their faces were inches apart, and he could hear her breathy utterance of thanks.
"The same goes for you, Pirate." She said. Bellamy scoffed and tried to pull away from her honest eyes. Clarke kept him rooted to the spot and leaned in, forcing Bellamy to meet her gaze. He didn't deserve her kindness. He had become a monster to protect his sister. She wasn't the only one with a dark past.
"We all do what we have to in order to survive. It isn't who we are." She stated. Bellamy swallowed thickly.
"If you have done something you regret or that is considered beastly, it's okay. I forgive you." She said. Bellamy's lip quivered slightly, almost unnoticeable to the Princess if she hadn't been up close. Bellamy looked at her with an emotion she couldn't recognize, but she felt as though they had become closer. Part of her wanted to push him away again, to retreat back into her hard shell, but she knew that opening up was for the greater good. Especially if she was going to have to go to war for her people. She pulled away, retreating to her earlier position of staring at the fire and sitting next to the Captain. She saw him gulp out of the corner of her eye, and she bumped his shoulder with hers.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, the fire warming their bare skin. The cold wind that came with the sudden storm would drift through the cave every once in a while, causing Clarke's skin to erupt in goosebumps, but her clothes were still soaking wet and she would just have to deal with the slight chill.
"I hope everyone at the camp isn't in the same sorry state we are." Bellamy muttered. Clarke smirked.
"I don't know how Monty would be able to handle getting soaked to the bone." She replied.
"Oh it's quite a scene to watch. When we're caught in a bad storm at sea, everybody ends up at least a little soaked. The water's inescapable when it's all around you, and Monty is one of the few that ends up looking like a grumpy, wet cat." Bellamy said with a chuckle. Clarke giggled at the image of a soaking wet and grumpy Monty, but her laughter soon died as she remembered that she would have to tell him that his best friend had been killed.
"How on earth am I supposed to tell him?" Clarke asked out loud. From her few weeks as a part of the crew, she had quickly learned that Jasper and Monty were practically inseparable, and the mere thought of one without the other was heartbreaking and fundamentally wrong.
"We'll do it together." Bellamy replied. Clarke met his warm eyes, and her expression softened. It felt good to have a partner, someone she could trust.
"This might sound strange, but I'm really glad you decided to pirate that cruise ship." Clarke stated softly. Bellamy smiled, and ducked his head. Clarke avoided his gaze, and turned around so that she was facing away and slowly sank down onto the hard floor of the cave. She could feel the warmth of the fire on her skin, and she tried to relax. This wasn't the first time she had slept on a cold, rock floor.
"Me too." Bellamy's voice echoed through the cave, and Clarke closed her eyes, unable to remove the smile from her face. She could hear Bellamy plop down against the floor, and she let her body relax. The sounds of the rain and the fire soon soothed her anxious mind, and she succumbed to a restless sleep.
Clarke awoke not to the sun on her face as she had the day before, but to the sound of soft snoring and the feeling of a comfortable warmth surrounding her. She sighed in contentment and snuggled deeper into the warmth that was in front of her. Her eyes slowly blinked open and she blearily looked around her immediate surroundings. Behind here there was the cool cave floor, but in front there was a mass of warmth. She opened her eyes and met with the tanned and freckled skin of Bellamy's chest. A blush immediately warmed her cheeks as she realized her predicament. She was cuddling into the captain's warm chest and his arms were around her waist, keeping her locked in place. She felt his breath against the top of her head, and could feel his chin poking into her hair. Her immense sense of comfort and security kept the princess from acting, but she knew that if Fox woke up and saw them like this there would be trouble in the form of rumor, and if Bellamy woke up and saw this he would tease her endlessly. Clarke bit her lip in concentration and experimentally tried to push away from Bellamy's grasp.
The moment she pushed against his arms, he mumbled something in his sleep and pulled her tighter against his body. Her nose was poking his collarbone now, and Clarke's face was even redder than before.
It's okay…she thought, if he wakes up, he might be as embarrassed as me.
She took a deep breath and forced herself to roll and claw her way out of his hold until she was an entire foot away and his arms were off of her waist. She sighed in relief at her freedom, and ignored how cold she was now and her desire to return to Bellamy's embrace. She told herself that she liked being held in his arms because she hadn't felt that kind of warmth since Walden, and that it was her body's natural reaction.
"Ughh…" Bellamy's voice rumbled. Clarke sat up and leaned back on her left arm so that she was looking down at the captain as he slowly woke up. His brow crinkled and he grimaced before his eyes opened. He blinked slowly and rolled onto his back, his hands rubbing his face.
"Good morning," Clarke said with a wry smile. It appeared as though Bellamy was as fond of mornings as she was.
"…fuck…" He cursed in a raspy voice. Clarke grumbled in agreement, and looked over to see Fox still curled up in the back of the cave with her back to the couple.
"It appears as though it has finally stopped raining." Clarke observed, her gaze focused on the cave entrance and what little she could see of the woods.
"And that the sun hasn't even risen yet." Bellamy said sourly. The blonde looked back at the pirate, who was seated in a similar position and glaring at the cave entrance. He didn't seem to recall their previous physical entanglement, much to Clarke's relief.
"We should get dressed and head back to camp. The crew is bound to be worried by now." Clarke stated. Bellamy nodded, and slowly stood, groaning the entire time. He stretched his arms up over his head, and breathed deep-causing Clarke to pointedly ignore his muscular torso. Instead, she too stood up and stretched, groaning in pain as her wound protested to the movement. She looked down to inspect it, and noted how there was some dried blood crusted around the wound, and that there was fresh blood slowly leaking from the wound. She cursed softly and quickly donned her stiff clothing. She would take care of it when she got back to camp and sorted out the issue with the native islanders.
Bellamy watched Clarke inspect her bleeding wound, and frowned when she ignored it and put her clothes on. He wanted to say something to her, to get her to care about her own wellbeing, but knew that she wouldn't listen to him.
"Fox, it's time." Bellamy called out to the girl curled up in the corner. She didn't move. The pirate captain rolled his eyes and went over and nudged her with his foot. She rolled over and looked at him with tearstained eyes, then sighed and slowly started to stand. When the trio was all dressed and had gathered what little items they had, they set out.
Clarke walked back to where she could hear the river, and they emerged from the woods near where Jasper had been killed. Clarke's eyes scanned the opposite shore for any sign of his body, but saw none. Bellamy and Fox started to walk back down the river towards the camp, but Clarke stayed and scanned the shoreline. She was positive that this spot where she was standing was right across from where Jasper was struck down. She squinted, and saw what appeared to be Jasper's goggles stranded on the forest ground, barely recognizable due to the mud.
"Bellamy!" She shouted. She stepped a few feet into the river, until the water reached her knees, to get a better look.
"What?" He said, jogging back to where she was standing with Fox right behind him.
"There's no body." She said, pointing at Jasper's abandoned goggles.
"They could've taken it." Bellamy said. "We shouldn't get our hopes up."
"But he could be alive!" She exclaimed. Fox had her hands cupped around her mouth, and was staring blankly at the goggles on the opposite shoreline.
"Our main priority is getting back to camp and making sure the crew is safe, and then fortifying ourselves and figuring what to do with the native population." Bellamy said, reaching for Clarke. She pursed her lips, but nodded and grabbed his hand. He helped her out of the water, and they resumed their course back to the campsite.
"If he's alive, we have to help him. We should send a search party to scout the opposite shore for a sign of Jasper, and to see if we can find a grounder camp." Clarke said as they walked.
"We will send out a scouting mission to learn more about the natives, but Jasper is dead Clarke. You saw what happened, there's no way he could've survived that." He replied tersely. Clarke bit her lip, knowing that Bellamy was probably right, but she wouldn't give up on the chance that he was alive.
When Bellamy, Clarke, and Fox stumbled into camp, they were immediately swarmed by the crew, all asking questions.
What happened?"
"Are you guys okay?"
"There was this storm…"
"…no cover…"
"The rain ruined most of the tents!"
"…then most of the supplies were ruined or washed away!"
"GUYS!" Bellamy shouted, waving his arms to calm the crowd. Miller pushed his way to the front of the crowd and was about to speak when Bellamy continued.
"We know the storm was bad, we had to take cover in a cave for the night and lost most of our supplies too. We'll deal with whatever went wrong last night, and we will survive." He announced. There were cheers of encouragement from the crowd, until Monty stumbled out in front of Clarke.
"W-where's Jasper?" He asked softly. Clarke could feel her heart breaking all over again, and vaguely heard Fox burst into tears behind her. She stepped forward and gently held Monty's shaking hands.
"When we were gathering supplies, he crossed the river. Not even one minute after he landed on the opposite shore, a spear came out of nowhere and struck him in his chest." Clarke's throat closed up, and she tried to swallow the lump lodged within it. Monty's eyes were filling with tears.
"He's dead, Monty." Bellamy interjected.
"No…nonononono!" Monty exclaimed, the tears falling from his eyes now. Clarke pulled Monty into her arms and held him while he tried to regain control of his grief.
"That brings me to the next order of business. We are not alone on this island. There's a native grounder population, and they've killed one of our own. First thing we have to do is fortify our camp and set up a patrol to keep us safe. Then, we'll send out scouting missions to find out more about these natives…these grounders." Bellamy said. There were murmurs and shouts of anger and shock echoing through the camp at the captain's words, and Bellamy once again had to raised his arms to calm them.
"They attacked us!" Bellamy yelled angrily.
"It's time to work people! We will survive!" He shouted. There were shouts and cheers of agreement as Bellamy took Miller and Harper aside to start assigning jobs and gathering wood for a fence.
"I'm so sorry, Monty." Clarke said to the grieving man in her arms. She wasn't used to this much physical contact for the purpose of comfort, and was starting to feel uncomfortable. Luckily, Monty pulled away and wiped at his eyes with a nod.
"I want to help with the scouting missions. I-I need to see." He said quietly. Clarke nodded and left to go talk to Bellamy to ensure Monty's assignment to the scouting mission.
"…mainly the trees around the camp, so we can have more visibility and can expand our camp." Bellamy was saying to a group of about twenty people, all armed with an axe or some sort of weapon.
"Bellamy, can we talk?" Clarke asked, gently touching his arm to get his attention.
"One sec, princess," He said to her before turning back to the people in front of him, "You know what to do. Chop down as many as you can, and make sure they're tall enough to be useful for a defensive fence."
Miller lead the group of makeshift lumberjacks away and the captain turned to face Clarke.
"What's up, princess?" He asked.
"Monty wants to be a part of the scouting missions, and I think he has a right to go." She said. She could see the doubt in the pirate captain's eyes, and knew he wasn't going to allow it.
"Look, his best friend just died, maybe, and I think he should be able to see where so he can say his goodbyes." She said.
"Look, I agree that Monty should be able to visit where his friend died so he can see for himself that he's gone, but he's too emotional for the scouting missions." Bellamy argued.
"Oh, and you aren't? You saw what happened, just like Fox and I, and I know that you are emotionally unstable like Monty. Maybe not to his degree, but you did see a friend die." Clarke growled. Bellamy's lip curled into a snarl and he grabbed her arm and pulled her to the tree line.
"If you think for one second that I'm not capable of doing my job and leading these people, keeping them alive, then just say the words and I'll tell them who you are princess." He spat, saying her nickname like it was a curse. Clarke's mouth dropped open, and she took a large step away from the pirate in front of her.
"Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I don't care. Not like I thought I was a part of the crew too." She said, the hurt clear on her face as she stomped away. Bellamy cursed and punched the tree closest to him. He hissed in pain, and shook his hurt fist. The skin on his knuckles was ripped open, and it stung. Served him right, for what he said to Clarke. He knew threatening to spill her secret identity was going too far, but he had been so angry.
"Bellamy?" A quiet voice called. The captain quickly turned, wanting to see Clarke, but instead his sister was standing before him.
"Are you okay? I saw Clarke and Monty run off, is everything okay?" She asked. He hid his hand behind him and reassured Octavia that everything was fine.
"How's the supply gathering going?" He asked her. He'd put her and Harper in charge of going back to the shoreline to see what had washed on the shore, and what they could salvage while also gathering more berries and nuts.
"It's going good. We found some more weapons, and some clothes. But all the meat was ruined in the storm, so we need a hunting party." She said. Bellamy sighed and rubbed his temples with his uninjured hand.
"Alright. I'll send out a few men to hunt." He said. Octavia nodded, and suddenly grabbed at Bellamy's injured hand.
"Bell! What happened?" She asked. He grinned, in spite of the situation, because he knew that Octavia would be able to see through his poor attempt at deceit.
"It's nothing. I just had a fight with Clarke, and got angry." He said, pulling his hand away.
"It's not nothing. Go to Clarke and ask for her forgiveness while also asking her to bandage you up. It's good you injured yourself. Makes you look like a poor lonely puppy." Octavia said with a grin. Bellamy chuckled, loving his sister even more at that moment since she always managed to make a bad situation better.
"You're right, again." He said teasingly, rubbing his hand through her hair. She playfully shoved him away, and pushed him towards the medical tent.
"I'm always right. Now go on." She said, gesturing for him to start walking.
"Alright, alright." He laughed. Bellamy shook his head to himself, and made his way to the makeshift healer's hut. It was a miracle that it hadn't collapsed during the storm.
"Clarke? Monty?" He called as he walked under the leaved hanging over the roof. There were bundles of leaves scattered around the ground, and a few supplies were spilling from those bundles.
"Wrapping the supplies in the leaves…smart." He muttered to himself. He grabbed a roll of gauze that had rolled out of a hole in one of the makeshift bags and wrapped his hand while looking around for a sign of his healer.
"Clarke?" He called out again, being met with stark silence. Bellamy's stomach twisted in unease, and he felt the worry creeping up his spine. He stormed out of the tent and scanned the clearing for any sign of long blonde hair.
"Hey, Fox!" He shouted when he saw the poor girl sitting near the campfire. She raised her head at his voice, and blinked up at him when he approached her.
"Have you seen Clarke or Monty?" He asked. She bit her lip, and quickly avoided meeting his gaze.
"Fox…" He said, kneeling down to be face to face with her.
"Where did they go?" He asked, already knowing the answer. Fox sniffled, and met his piercing brown eyes with her own teary ones.
"You know where she took him." She whispered. Bellamy's jaw clenched and he cursed. He stood up and jogged over to where his first mate was chopping down trees a few hundred feet away.
"Miller!" He shouted. Miller wiped his sweaty brow and turned to see his captain running towards him with a worried expression. He handed his axe off to another worker and walked over to meet his captain.
"Captain, what's wrong?" He asked.
"Clarke. She took Monty and they've gone to see where Jasper died." He explained. Miller's eyes widened, and he turned to grab Deaton and instructed him to take charge and to keep everything running smoothly while he and the Captain went somewhere.
"We should grab Harper too." Miller said, as he and Bellamy marched back into camp and grabbed their swords. Bellamy just nodded and grunted in agreement. He could tell Octavia to keep everyone in line while they took Harper. The duo rushed to the shoreline and Miller went to find Harper while Bellamy looked for his sister to inform her of their current situation. He saw her helping to pull a large crate out of the ocean and onto dry land, and ran over to her. He quickly helped pull the crate onto the sand, and then pulled his sister away while the others inspected the crate's contents.
"Clarke and Monty ran off, so Miller, Harper, and I are going to go bring them back." He explained quickly. He could see the confusion on his sister's face, but didn't explain any further.
"Just keep everyone together and make sure they're back in the camp before dark in case we aren't back by then." Bellamy instructed. Octavia nodded, and squeezed her brother's arm comfortingly.
"She's gonna be fine, Bell." She said. Bellamy just clenched his jaw and pulled his sister in for a quick hug.
"Be safe. I'll be back." He said before jogging off to meet with Miller and Harper, who were standing at the tree line.
"Let's go." He commanded.
Clarke and Monty were slowly walking through the forest, toward the river. Clarke had a pack full of whatever supplies she thought they would need based on what was available at the camp, and her sword strapped to her belt.
"Come on, it's right this way." She said, nodding towards the river. Monty anxiously followed the blonde as she pushed aside some branches to reveal the large river. She led him down the shoreline until they reached a grouping of rocks and boulders that extended across the river. Clarke pointed directly across from where they were standing at a small clearing. Monty could barely make out the mud-soaked goggles she had told him about, and his breath caught.
"That's where it happened." She said. Monty gulped, and walked into the river and onto the first rock.
"What are you doing?" Clarke exclaimed.
"I'm going across. Those are his goggles, and if he's really dead, I'm getting them back." He explained. Clarke huffed, but eventually joined him on the boulder.
"Then let's get them back." She said, making sure her pack and belt were secured to her body. She leapt toward the second boulder, struggling to keep her balance on the wet surface. She looked back at Monty, and smiled encouragingly.
"You aren't alone, Monty." She said, before jumping to the next rock to let Monty jump to the second one. They continued to hop from rock to rock, almost slipping and falling into the rushing water on more than one occasion, until they reached the opposite shore.
Monty immediately crouched to grab the goggles and clean them off in the water, while Clarke took a defensive stance and drew her sword.
"We have to be careful." She said as she searched the tree line. The princess was putting on a brave face, but she was in a good amount of pain. She hadn't re-stitched her wound after yesterday, and all the jumping and running had aggravated it and she could feel the warmth of her blood on her shirt. Luckily, she had changed into her dark blue blouse and leather vest so that there would be some pressure on the injury. She hissed in pain quietly, but took steady breaths to keep Monty from worrying.
"Clarke!" A familiar voice shouted. She turned to face the side she had come from, and saw Bellamy with Harper and Miller standing on the river's edge.
"Bellamy?" She shouted in confusion. How had he caught up to them so fast? She figured that after their fight he wouldn't look for her until dark, but there he was. Clarke still felt angry and hurt after Bellamy had threatened to reveal her identity. When he uttered that threat, she felt crushed. He obviously didn't see her as a true member of the crew if he would threaten her like that. He knew how she wanted to earn the crew's trust before even thinking about revealing herself to them. She knew how most of Arcadia felt about the royal family, and it wasn't the love she used to believe.
"What are you doing here?" They shouted simultaneously.
"I'm here to get you! What were you thinking?" He yelled angrily. Clarke cursed and stomped up to the coastline.
"I'm here to take care of a friend! Why on earth are you here?" She shouted in response.
"I'm here to bring you back, obviously!" He yelled with a roll of his eyes that Clarke could see even from across the river.
"Go fuck yourself, Bellamy! We'll be back in a few minutes." She snarled. She saw Miller holding back a laugh, and Bellamy's look of shock at her words.
"Excuse me? I'm the one who came traipsing out into dangerous territory to get your sorry ass back to camp!" He yelled. Clarke was about to scream her own unique combination of curses back when a cry of pain echoed throughout the forest. Monty startled and stood with hope in his eyes.
"That was Jasper!" He said. Before Clarke could respond, Monty ran off into the forest toward the source of the noise.
"Monty wait! It's probably a trap!" She called, chasing after him.
"Clarke! What's going on?" Bellamy called out. She stopped, and turned toward the trio on the other side of the river.
"We heard Jasper!" She yelled as explanation before running off after Monty.
Bellamy cursed, and jumped onto the first rock on the path to the other side of the river.
"Let's go, it's probably a trap." He said, leading his group across the tumultuous waters. When they all reached the land on the opposite side of the river, they started to follow after Clarke and Monty.
"Bellamy! Wait!" Harper called out. She pointed to a light colored tree where there was a familiar sized red handprint.
"It's blood." Harper stated. Bellamy nodded, and touched the wet handprint.
"It's Clarke's. Come on, we have to hurry." He said, running deeper into the forest, where they heard another cry of pain.
Finally! We're reaching the real plot now. Well, the first real arc. I hope you guys like it, and make sure to follow me on tumblr an-upset-librarian - i post previews and such there as well.
Reviews give me strength!