Author's Note/Warning; Beware this chapter contains mature content not suitable for younger readers. Also it is quite the long chapter, not sure if I should appologise for that or not, so I will to be safe.
Another big thank you to my editor CupcakeSev23 for editing this long chapter, you are truly a saint.
I hope you all enjoy, I look forward to reading your lovely reviews and messages. :3
Chapter 4; Wedding night.
The room was quiet for a good several minutes before it all really began to sink in for Harry. He was married, to a man literally old enough to be his father, and who hated him. He trusted the man not to outright hurt him, but he couldn't help but feel the dread of being bound to such a man for a lifetime.
His distraught must have been visible on his face, as a gentle hand from Dumbledore caught his attention. He looked up at sparkling blue eyes and a gentle smile behind white hairs.
"Harry, I wish to speak with you for a moment, alone if I may." He said with a smile, looking over at Snape. The Potions Master raised an eyebrow at Dumbledore before turning towards the stairs and moving his eyes onto Harry.
"I'll be waiting for you upstairs then…" The words were flat and void of emotion as the older man started to make his way back up the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the nearly empty room.
Wait for me in your cupboard, Harry. Uncle Vernon's words echoed in Harry's ears as he watched Professor Snape climb those stairs. Being reminded of the dread that came with those words, Harry suddenly felt like the rock in his stomach had doubled in size.
"Harry?" Dumbledore's voice seemed so distant, Harry almost didn't recognise it.
"Why did we have to do this, Sir?" Harry asked, watching as the black cloak disappeared through a door. "Was there really no other way?"
"The two of you could have said no."
Harry turned towards the older wizard, who seemed to have a strange glint in his eyes.
"What?"
"I said you could have said no." Dumbledore smiled. "I hardly have the power to force your hands, though Severus has never gone against my wishes…."
Harry gaped at him, dumbfounded that Dumbledore would say that NOW after everything that just took place. After it was too late to change it.
"What about him!?" Harry practically yelled, causing Dumbledore to jump, looking mildly shocked. "Do you have any idea what he did to calm me down just a bit ago, what he promised!? Both of us just did something neither of us wanted because we thought it was the only way to be safe!"
"Now Harry, the both of you could have thought it through on your own." Albus looked almost hurt. "I simply stated my suggestion-"
"You-" Harry bit back his words and looked away, his face burning. What was he supposed to do now? Snape will be furious when he finds out.
"Well, it is too late to turn back now." Albus shrugged it off, adjusting his purple robes. "Besides, I needed to speak with you about this. Severus won't have an issue, he is quite used to deceiving people, you however, have much to learn on the subject."
Harry frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, Harry, that I mentioned before that we must act as if this was the plan all along? To prevent outrage from the wizarding world and certain Ministry departments? " Harry nodded, remembering what he had been told about the usual process for Bondings. "Well, also to prevent outrage from other members of the Order. Let's be realistic, once Sirius finds out, he will be livid. He and Severus have always been on opposite sides of things. Unless you are able to convince him that this was something you wanted, I fear our Potions Master will be in danger from more than just Voldemort and Death Eaters."
Harry scowled again, a bad habit he seemed to be picking up after only being in Snape's house a few hours.
"So what, I have to pretend to be in love with Snape?" Harry said, unable to stop his nose from wrinkling at the thought of it. Sure he didn't loathe the guy, not after what he's been willing to promise and go through for his safety, but he still couldn't say he was fond of the man.
"At least while in company other than myself and the Minister, yes." Dumbledore said with a smile. The old man is enjoying this. Harry couldn't help but think. "At least act very fond of each other. Also, I recommend talking with Severus before consummating the marriage, and I do recommend you consummate regularly."
"What?!" Harry squeaked. "I was told only once!"
"Well once is all that is required to make sure the Binding Magics work, however it has been proven that they stay stronger for longer the more frequently you cycle your magical energies together. Thus, Sex."
Harry bit down on his lip, his hands clutching so hard that he thought his nails would break skin. This was ridiculous! How did things go from one-hundred to a thousand so fast?
"Is there any other bad news or uncomfortable advice you need to share with me, Sir?" Harry asked, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. "Because, thanks to you, I have a husband waiting upstairs for me."
Dumbledore smiled again and nodded, turning and taking a pinch of green powder out of a jar on the fireplace.
"Very well Harry. I'll tell the others not to bother you until tomorrow." He turned and smiled at Harry one more time, that same glint still in his eyes. "Do go easy on Severus, he has been through a lot. Good night then."
Then with a toss of the powder and a word Dumbledore vanished into the green fire. Harry stared after him for a short while before running his hands through his hair.
"Damn it…" He hissed. A small screech and the sound of wings caught Harry's attention, drawing his eyes to the snowy Owl who had perched herself on the stair rail. Harry walked over and ran her fingers over the soft feathers, taking a moment to calm himself.
I better go upstairs...Harry thought as he looked up at the door Snape had went through. It was the same room he had originally put Harry in. For some reason, it looked a lot farther away than it had earlier.
Swallowing he moved his hand from Hedwig and onto the rail itself, putting his foot on the first step before stopping. He could feel his hands starting to shake again, causing him to freeze where he stood, just looking up at that door.
Get going Harry, it's getting late. He thought to himself to try and urge his feet to move. Snape's gonna get annoyed for waiting so long, he probably wants to get it over with and get to bed. You do too…
Closing his eyes, Harry took a deep breath and forced himself to take another step, and another, and another. Slowly, but surely, he was making his way up the stairs. After a few steps Harry was able to force his eyes open, if nothing else to stop from tripping on the last step. It took forever, but he did eventually come to the top landing, were he turned and looked out into the main room.
This house was massive, it could easily fit All the Seventh Year Gryffindors, and the entire teaching staff. Harry had to wonder just how important Snape's family had been, once upon a time. The rooms were dark, as the lights had dimmed as Harry made his way up, the lights around him now bright enough for him to see comfortably. He couldn't help but feel like this place was similar to Hogwarts, in some way. He couldn't quite pinpoint it, but the similarity was there…
But he was stalling, and Harry knew it. He turned to look at the door, he could see light shining through the bottom of it, and at the crystal door handle seemed almost dangerous in the dim light. He couldn't hear any movement within, but he had seen Snape go in, so he couldn't fool himself into hoping, or thinking, that it would be empty. So, he took another breath to calm his nerves, reached out, and turned the handle.
The door was silent as it opened, the light inside the room flooding out into the hallway. For the first time since arriving, Harry took a moment to take in his surroundings.
The room was large, about the same size as his Uncle's sitting room, and it could practically be a small studio flat on it's own. There was a Queen sized bed against one wall, with simple gray-blue covers. The walls were simple gray stone and the floors a dark wood, only a red rug at the foot of the bed to give color. The fireplace opposite to the bed was crackling softly, mixing in with the sound of rain. Had it been under any other situation, Harry probably would have found the room to be rather calming. The desk and wardrobe were a matching cedar wood, with small intricate designs carved into them, too small for Harry to be able to see from this distance.
And across the room from Harry, standing at an open window, was Snape. He had taken off the long, billowing black cloak and was simply in his fitted black overcoat, His arms were crossed on the windowsill, as rain poured in, getting his jet-black hair wet. Despite the wind and rain, the room remained warm, and Harry took in a breath, smelling the damp, electricity that filled air. He let the door close silently behind him and took another step forward, wondering if Snape had even noticed him arriving.
"Um...Professor?" Harry said, his voice much weaker than he had hoped it to be. Snape turned his head towards Harry slightly, just enough to peek out from under his hair to see him.
"As strange as it may be, you should probably call me Severus now." He said, voice solid, but quiet. Harry nodded and took another step forward.
"Okay, er...Severus." He tried out the name. It sounded too strange, didn't feel right coming out of his mouth. "Er...aren't you cold?"
"Not really." Sna-Severus, replied turning around to fully face Harry, leaning back on the sill. "Has Albus finally left?"
Harry nodded and took a few more steps towards the man, standing at the foot of the bed now.
"Yeah...and he, er….said we should probably talk before…"
Severus nodded and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Very well. What is it he said we should talk about?" He asked before raising an eyebrow. "Or...are you still afraid I'll-"
"No, no I trust you." Harry said, those particular words coming out a bit easier than he has expected. "I...it's just...he said this won't be the only time we…"
"Ah…" Severus seemed to catch on instantly. "I see. I suspect he explained the cycling of Magical energy?"
"Not in detail, but I think I get the basics of it." Harry said, also crossing his arms. "I don't really want to know the details, in all honesty, I just…." He sighed. "How often will we…?"
"Whatever is comfortable for you, Harry." Snape said. "I am more than prepared to follow your lead in this situation. The last thing I want is for you to be traumatised any more than you already have been."
Harry bit his lip, his hands clenching again. That was a lot of responsibility to put on him, even if the intention was, supposedly, right.
"What about you though?" Harry asked, not looking at the man anymore. "I don't want to put you out or make you uncomfortable...so…"
"Harry, it is rather impossible not to do either one of those things at this point in time." Snape said with a sigh. "As of this point, we are legally Married, I am still your teacher, and neither one of us is all to fond of the other. I recommend, at this point, to just make it as painless as possible."
Harry sighed again and shook his head, dropping his hands to his side and looking down. Well, so much for that. Guess I had better get on with it then.
"Well….what now?" Harry asked, trying to put on a strong face in front of this intimidating man. He looked back up and started to walk forward, until he was right in front of him, looking up at black eyes.
"That is entirely up to you, Harry." Snape said, unfolding his arms and resting his hands on the window cill. "Like I said, I will follow your lead."
Harry bit his lip and looked around the room for a moment, not sure how to proceed. He had seen plenty of movies with romance scenes in them, but in those the characters already had strong emotional attachments, and it was romantic and spontaneous...Nothing like this. Still...it was all he had to go off of.
"Um...i...is it okay if I touch you?" He asked, not able to meet those dark eyes anymore. Severus nodded and waited. Harry took a deep breath and put both of his hands on Snape's chest, gliding his hands up and down over the soft material of his overcoat.
Harry had fought a Basilisk, stared down a werewolf, fought a dragon, and yet he could only think of one situation where he had been more afraid than he was right now. He knew it would be strange to even touch this man, let alone be intimate with him, but how incredibly unnatural this felt was beyond uncomfortable.
He tried to think back on those movies, or to things that he would think would be nice, and he let one hand slide up and brush through Severus' hair. He had a hard time hiding his surprise, it wasn't greasy at all. In fact, it was really soft. In a way it was even softer than Ginny's hair had been, that one time he had kissed her. He swallowed nervously and took a chance look at Snape's face. As usual, he was hard to read, especially with his dark eyes closed. Knowing that his husband was not watching him, he took the opportunity to look over his posture. It wasn't hard to see that he was stiff, all of his muscles were locked in place, long, pale fingers grasping onto the edge of the window, not even flinching as rain pelted down on him.
He really was just going to let Harry do what he wants. Harry suspected, in that moment, that if he said he just wanted to get it done with, to hell with hurting him, Snape would oblige. Harry hated the thought of hurting someone the way his uncle had hurt him, but knowing he was in complete control was...comforting.
The hand that had been running through the onyx hair placed itself on the side of Severus' face, pulling him down ever so slightly. He moved as the hand bid him. Harry wasn't sure why, but he found himself reaching up and, very gently, pressing his lips against Severus'. Snape's eyes blinked open, clearly surprised by the contact, but he didn't protest or pull away. Harry swallowed again before kissing him again, the hand that had been stroking Snape's chest slid down to his waist and pulled him forward, like he had seen those people in movies do.
Harry continued to kiss Severus for a short while, only vaguely aware that the man had followed his lead and was kissing him back. The wind from the open window was cold, but Severus was blocking most of it from hitting Harry, and the rest of the room was quite warm, causing a rather strange mix of feelings to dance over bits of Harry's skin.
When Harry pulled away again, both of their faces were slightly flushed, Severus having to take a small gasp of breath in. Harry looked and brushed damp hair away from his face and looked down at his chest. As flattering as the all black attire was on Severus, those buttons seemed rather daunting, and Harry didn't know if he would be able to brings himself to undo them all. So he brought his hands down again, gently holding onto Severus' sleeve.
"Could, um...you take this off?" He asked, feeling his face burn at the request. He didn't see Severus' expression only two hands reach up underneath his chin, and begin to deftly unto each button one at a time. Harry sat back and watched those hands slowly move down the thin frame, each time a button unclasped, it revealed the white shirt beneath.
Eventually the man was pulling the coat off of his shoulders and folding it over one arm before draping it over the desk chair. He looked back at Harry, as if asking him if there was more, Harry swallowed and looked at the new image in front of him. Snape in white was...interesting to say the least. He certainly looked less sickly without the stark black against his white skin, but it just didn't seem like Snape. Though he was still, quite clearly, very thin. Harry nodded and looked behind him at the bed. He sighed and grabbed Severus' hand and pulled him forward, receiving no resistance, until they were both standing near the bed. Standing behind Snape, Harry wrapped his arms around that thin waist, one hand going up to unclasp the high collar of the white shirt, and the other reaching down, between his legs.
The small gasp that escaped Severus' lips as Harry touched him was so quiet, Harry wasn't sure he had heard it. But as he continued to touch him, the taller man's shaking became more and more apparent, until eventually he had to brace himself against the footboard of the bed. His other hand came down and met Harry's grasping it to make it stop moving.
"Y..You don't have...to do that." Severus was breathing hard as he spoke, his voice cracking ever so slightly. The sound was surprising, and Harry simply nuzzled into the back of Severus' neck, taking in a deep breath.
"If your doing this for me, I might as well try to make you feel at least a little good." Harry said as he brushed some of the onyx hair away from the pale, slender neck, and started to plant kisses along that pale skin. Another gasp, followed by a moan encouraged Harry to continue.
Finally the hand that had been undoing the white shirt made it to the last button and Harry brought both hands up to Severus' shoulders and started to pull the cloth down, watching as it slowly revealed the pale skin of his back. Severus had to quickly unclasp the cuffs before Harry could pull the shirt off completely and drop it to the floor at their feet. Harry's hands ran from Snape's neck, down over his shoulder blades and to his waist, emerald eyes following them as he looked over the skin.
Skin that was covered in dozens, if not hundreds of scars. Some were extremely old, several years, others were still pink and healing. Harry traced a finger over one, very long, continuous scar that ran from just under his right arm, all the way to his right hip.
"How did you get these?" Harry asked softly. He heard the sigh and saw the slim shoulders rise and fall, dark eyes peeking around to him.
"I guess you could say they come with the job."
Harry frowned and pressed his hands firmly against either side of that slender waist, rubbing up and down slowly. Why would he have so many scars on his back from Potions? Unless...Oh…
"Voldemort?" Harry asked, Severus flinching slightly at the name before nodding. "Why?"
"When the Dark Lord is angry, not even those he trusts as his followers are safe." He explained, turning his gaze away before bracing both hands against the bedpost again. Harry nodded, realizing this was a horribly uncomfortable conversation. So he went back to placing kisses along the back of his neck and shoulders, sliding his hands around again to rub his front.
Harry took a breath before pressing flush up against Severus, rocking against him as he kissed and sucked on small areas of exposed skin.
Severus was allot more attractive than Harry had ever thought before, there was no doubt about that, but the situation was becoming more and more straining for Harry as he realised he wasn't getting aroused at all by the foreplay. It wasn't...unpleasant by any means, but it certainly was not something he had ever had any desire to do until now.
After a little bit more petting and kissing, Harry sighed frustrated and pressed his forehead against Severus' back, letting his hands fall to his side.
"Pro-Severus…." He grunted. "You...might have to do this…"
"What do you mean?" Severus turned around to face the rather upset looking young man, raising an eyebrow as he saw his rather embarrassed expression.
"Well..I just... I can't…" Harry gave a vague gesture and both of Severus' eyebrows went up and he gave a slow nod.
"Ah...I see...well.."He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes with a sigh. "I suppose that is rather...detrimental to this…"
"Yeah, that's why I think it might be better if you-"
"Don't say that, Harry." Severus cut him off abruptly. "I already swore I wouldn't do that, and I keep my promises."
"But then how-?"
"Is there a young woman you like?" Severus asked, folding his arms and leaning on the side of the bed.
"Er...what?"
"Is there a woman you like? Ms. Granger?"
"No! Oh god no! She's like a sister to me!" Harry said, clearly appalled by the thought of it. The amused smirk on Snape's face made him feel even worse about it.
"Ms. Ginny Weasley then?" That Harry had to bite his lip and think on for a moment.
"Well..yeah…" He admitted. "I was sort of gonna ask her to be my girlfriend, but this kinda screwed that up...what does she have to do with this?"
"Sit on the bed." Severus said. Harry raised an eyebrow but did as he was told. He only had to think on what Snape was playing at for a moment before Severus turned towards Harry and slid onto his knees.
"Er what are you…"
"Is it okay if I touch you?" Severus asked. Harry swallowed and nodded, but as he saw those hands reach up towards his legs, and the band of his sweatpants, his hands flew up to grasp his wrists. Severus looked up at Harry and frowned slightly.
"Er...sorry...I don't…" Harry stammered, letting go of Severus's hands.
"It's fine, that's why I asked." Severus placed his hands on the bed, on each side of Harry's legs. "If you prefer I'll let you remove them yourself."
"W...what are you gonna do?" Harry asked, once again struck by how weird it was to see this man, shirtless, now on his knees, in front of him.
"I am going to try and get you aroused." Severus said, his voice as dry as ever, as if he was explaining a potion component in class.
"Er...how?"
Harry could have sworn the man actually cringed at the question.
"I know you are young, Potter, but surely you are not that naive."
Harry frowned and thought for a moment, looking at how Severus was sitting in front of him, and…
"Oh…" It hit him like a bludger.
"Merlin's beard, I think he got it." Severus replied dryly, with a sigh.
"I...er...sorry." Harry bit his lip and stood up slightly to start pulling his sweat pants down. As soon as he was exposed Harry knew his face on was fire. He sat back down and looked away from Severus, not wanting to meet whatever masculine judgement he would meet there.
"Harry, go ahead and close your eyes, I promise I won't surprise you."
Harry nodded and closed his eyes.
"Try to think of Ms. Weasley, if that will make it easier on you. I'm going to touch you now…"
Harry nodded and waited, trying to get an image of Ginny into his mind. The feeling of warm fingers grasping him, followed quickly by something hot and wet, made him gasp for breath slightly, grasping the bed cover tightly. The firm, hot pressure against his member felt really good, and it made it hard to think of Ginny during this moment.
Unable to suppress a loud moan as the wet heat completely encompassed his member, Harry had to open his eyes to see if this was really happening. The sight of a man he had always hated so much, someone he had feared, on his knees, eyes half closed, gently bobbing his head as he took Harry into his mouth was bizarre and...beautiful Slightly damp hair brushed against his thighs and hips, making him shiver slightly, as he moaned along with each movement.
Harry found his hand rising up to brush some of that hair, but he stopped himself just short of making contact. Severus' eyes went from the hand and up to Harry's face as he pulled away for a moment to speak.
"You can use your hands. Harry. It's okay." His voice was quiet and gentle, so much so that Harry simply nodded and brushed a few strands of hair away from his face. Severus nodded before leaning forward and taking the now erect member into his mouth again. Harry moaned and simply held on, his fingers twisting gently into that hair.
He did notice, rather quickly, that Severus was making a point not to use his hands. Those long, deft fingers were currently placed on the side of the mattress, simply supporting his body weight in the weird angle it was in.
Harry gasped and moaned deely, his hand getting a firmer grasp into Severus' hair as he found himself controlling the pace more and more. It was hard not to rock into his mouth, it felt so good, but Harry didn't want to choke the poor man. Still, his hand must have been moving on it's own accord, as Severus slowly but surely started to move faster, taking him in deeper into his throat. In one moment, Harry was unable to control any part of his body, and he rocked up sharply, hitting the back of Severus' throat. The movement clearly caught Severus by surprise, and he choked slightly and, upon Harry releasing his hair, started coughing violently.
"Shit! I'm sorry!" Harry gasped. "Shit, I'm so sorry…"
"It's *Cough* fine…" Severus said once it had calmed down slightly. "It's fine…"
"You okay?" Harry asked, getting ready to stand up. "I can go get you some water…"
"I'm fine, really." Severus cleared his throat. "If your going to get anything, get the lotion out of the loo.."
Harry stopped and looked down, confused.
"Lotion?" Harry asked and Severus looked back, his own confusion turning to a look of...pity?
"Well...I...don't have any actual lubricant, so ...lotion is the best we got to make this...um...non-painful.."
Harry gaped at this and bit his lip, folding his hands in his lap as he thought about it.
"Er...how can it be...non-painful? I mean…" He stuttered, looking down. "I guess I can see how lotion could make it easier, but non-painful…"
"There are ways, Harry…" Severus said, standing up and brushing off his pants. "But it takes patience...if you are willing to go through the process...though I would understand if you simply wanted to get this over with…"
"No." Harry stood up as well, his voice firm for the first time since This started. "I...if it doesn't have to hurt...then I'll do what I have to…"
Severus nodded and took a step back from Harry, giving him some space.
"Go get the lotion then…"
Harry nodded, pulled his sweat pants back up and made his way to the bathroom next door.
The room was very clean and tidy, with simple white towels hanging on the rack, and everything very organised. It wasn't hard to find the bottle of unscented lotion, sitting right on the edge of the sink, closest to the nice, large bathtub and shower.
Harry took only a moment to look around the room before heading back to the bedroom, the current situation below his belt making it very uncomfortable to walk. Upon arriving back in the bedroom, he found Severus now sitting on the bed, facing the door, and looking at Harry as he came back in.
Once again, green eyes scanned over the body in front of him. Despite having always thought Snape to look rather sickly, the man was actually nicely toned. By no means an athlete's body, but it was still much healthier than he had ever imagined. He was depressed to see that the scars that had been on his back continued on his chest and arms. Harry couldn't stop his eyes from locking on to the Dark Mark on Severus' left arm, looking grey and flat in that moment, like an old tattoo.
Harry swallowed and went over to Severus, setting the lotion on the bedside table and leaning down to kiss the man. Severus did not object to the kiss, nor to Harry gently pushing on his shoulders to make him lie down. Harry followed Severus down, keeping his lips locked even as his head hit the pillow and long legs swung up onto the mattress. Harry crawled on top and pulled away to look at him.
His hair was now sprawled over the white pillow, making it look even darker than it was. Both of Severus' hands were also on the pillow, palms up and unresisting. Harry had to admit, he was glad Severus had been refraining from actively touching him, the one exception having been the blowjob moments ago, and even then, Harry had been able to control it.
Licking his lips Harry sat back and started undoing Severus' trousers. As he pulled them down, grasping onto the black boxers underneath as well, he couldn't help but think of what he had seen in that Pensive...his dad…
As he pulled the cloth off of his legs, stopping only to take off the black shoes and socks that were blocking his path, he looked up at Severus' face. His eyes were closed and he looked uncomfortable, taking slow, deep breaths. His hands and body, however, were shockingly relaxed. Harry took comfort in this and pulled off his sweatpants, and shirt, tossing them into the pile of clothes that was now beside the bed. He crawled up so that he was above Severus again, and took the lotion off of the stand.
"Okay...so...how?" Harry asked, feeling his hands shaking slightly. Despite everything, there was a part of him that still couldn't believe this was happening. Snape opened his eyes and looked up at the young man, sighing slightly.
"Nervous?" He asked. Harry nodded. Severus sat up on his elbows slightly and held his hand out. "I'll do this part then...you don't need to-"
"No." Harry said sternly, causing Severus to start slightly. Harry bit his lip. "I..want to know how...for...future use and what not so…"
Severus sighed again and rested his elbows back on the bed and nodded, shifting slightly so that Harry was between his legs, rather than on top of them. He took a breath before starting to explain.
"You'll need a good amount of lotion on your fingers." He said, and Harry started to follow instructions, popping open the cap of the bottle and pouring some onto his fingers. "A little more, that's it. Now…"
Harry looked up and saw the pink in Severus' face. Yeah, I can imagine this being a bit...awkward to try and explain… He thought. Considering on how they were going to do this, Harry guessed the next step and slipped his hand between Severus' legs and applied the lotion to Severus' entrance. He felt the man tense at the contact before relaxing again as Harry worked to apply as much as he could.
"Okay...okay, now...one finger, and only one. Slowly…" Severus said and Harry felt his own face heat up as he slipped the very tip of one finger inside. He struggled to keep an eye on what his hand was doing as he also tried to gauge Severus' face, which grimace uncomfortably as Harry slowly slid inside more and more. Once Harry was in as deep as he could go he stopped and just watched for a moment, trying not to think of just how tight it was around his finger. Severus took a breath and leaned back into the pillow again, his hands returning to their previous position. His face slowly relaxing.
"Okay...you can start moving….I'll let you know when you can add another finger…"
Harry nodded again then began to rock his hand back and forth. The feeling was as foreign to him as the image of Severus' reactions. It was hot, and tight, so tight Harry wasn't sure how he could possibly fit his…in there. But he was far more interested, oddly enough, in Severus' face. The normally so pale and gaunt visage was tinged in red, his lips slightly parted as he breathed along with Harry's movements, eyes closed. Harry could tell he was trying to relax, knowing from experience that it wasn't an easy thing to do, but it didn't look like he was in pain.
Leaning down, Harry placed kisses along Severus' neck again, letting his tongue trail down to his collarbone. His free hand started to rub up and down his chest, trying to rub away some of the tension. A low moan from Severus' pale throat brought a small smile to Harry's face, at least he wasn't hurting…
"Okay...I think you can add the second finger now…" His voice was shaky and soft but Harry heard him. He took a deep breath and pulled up again so that he could see what he was doing, before slowly, and very carefully, slipping in his middle finger alongside his index.
Severus grimmaged again, much more than before, and Harry stopped, placing his free hand on the center of Severus' chest.
"You okay?" He asked. It was a moment before Severus took in one long deep breath of air and let it out slowly, nodding and shifting his back slightly.
"I'm fine...please continue…"
Harry nodded and started moving the two fingers together, instantly seeing Severus tense up again.
"If it hurts, tell me, and I'll stop." He said and Severus opened his eyes, his hands having twisted to grab onto the pillow.
"It doesn't hurt...per-se. It's...just uncomfortable is all." He explained. Harry nodded and rocked his fingers back and forth, letting them bend slightly to massage the inner walls. At one moment, when he let one finger bend slightly more, Severus' back arched up slightly and a deep, slow moan came out. Harry looked up, surprised as he watched him settle back down. Biting his lip in concentration, Harry repeated the motion, and again a deep moan.
Harry smiled and leaned forward, giving Severus a small peck on the lips.
"Did...that feel good?" He asked. The look on Severus' face could have scared Voldemort himself away. Harry grinned and continued to rub that spot, causing the glare to drop and more moans to fall out of his mouth. He didn't know what that spot was, but whatever it was, it felt good to Severus. And considering Severus was putting up with this for his sake, any bit of pleasure he could provide he would.
"Harry…" Severus seemed barely able to speak. Harry looked down at the flushed face, beeded with sweat. "Harry...you can….now…"
"You sure?" Harry asked, shocked to hear his own voice sounding oddly strained. Why was his throat so dry?"
Severus nodded and Harry pulled his fingers out. Harry pushed Severus' long legs up, hooking them up over his own shoulders as he poured some more lotion onto his hand to stroked himself a few times. As soon as he was slick, he leaned over Severus again and pressed against his entrance, firmly. It was so tight it was almost painful to Harry, slipping in and feeling Severus' body tense at the intrusion. A strangled noise escaped Severus' throat, as his hands clenched in the pillows and he forced himself to breathe.
At about the halfway mark, Harry laid over Severus, bringing his hand up to pet his hair, while the other stroked up and down his right arm, pushing slowly and carefully. Severus was taking long deep breaths, his legs shaking slightly as Harry finally stopped, as deep as he could be inside him. Harry forced himself to hold still, the tightness being too much to really move in that moment anyway. The two of them simply lay there together for a few minutes, Harry still petting Severus' hair, Severus still clutching on to the pillow. Slowly, though, those fingers relaxed, and Harry could feel the tightness loosen slightly. Harry sat up and kissed Severus' neck a few times, his breathing already stagled.
"I'm gonna move…"
Severus nodded and Harry pulled out slightly before rocking back in, starting slow and steady, letting out a small moan each time Severus tensed in response. Severus continued to breathe, his hands finally releasing the pillow from his death grip and his legs relaxing into the motions.
This...feels really good...Harry couldn't help but think as his hands went from the mattress to Severus' hips, rocking slightly faster as they both relaxed into the motions. If someone had told him that he would be having sex with Snape, and enjoying it, he would have called them nutters and probably gave them a good old bat-bogey hex. But now...everything had changed.
He didn't think he would be as happy if Severus had been the one touching him all this time, just the idea of the man holding his hand was enough to almost send him into a panic, but Severus hadn't done any of that. Even now, with Harry rocking into his core, Severus' hands remained out in the open, easy for him to see, unclenched. He had never noticed how aware the man always was. He felt confident, hearing Severus grunt and groan with his thrusts, small gasps of air coming from slightly parted lips. He was making him feel good, something had never thought he would be able to do for anyone. And considering the situation, were neither one of them really wanted this, at least this first step was turning out better than he could have ever imagined.
And Harry was in complete control. Something he had never had in his life. Everything that he had, that he went through, was because of something else. His parents deaths, living with his Aunt and Uncle, even coming to Hogwarts, as amazing and wonderful as it had been, had been something he got from blood, not from any hard work. But right then, right now, Harry could choose what happened next. And he did.
His confidence growing with each sound that escaped from his new husband, Harry took a firm hold onto Severus' thighs and thrust in sharp and deep. Watching those dark eye fly open and a small cry of surprise come from Severus as beautiful to behold. Harry repeated the motion, again, and again, and again, each time getting slightly faster. Severus continued to call out until one of his hands covered his mouth, the other covering his eyes, as if embarrassed.
No...I want to see you. I want to hear you. Harry thought, unsure why, but he would have it. He stopped moving long enough to grasp Severus' wrists and pin them both above his head, his hand just missing the dark mark on Severus' forearm. Harry bent over and started thrusting again, no longer holding back. He kissed and sucked on Severus' neck, both of them panting from the excursion now.
"Harry...what's gotten..into you…"Severus managed to gasp out between breaths and moans. Harry nuzzled into his neck, gently biting on the sensitive skin,
"Dunno." He replied as Severus moaned, those arms straining ever so slightly against Harry's grasp. "Jus...really like it…"
Harry wasn't sure if Severus replied with a moan or a whimper, but he was past the point of caring. He was close, so close. Harry moved to grasp both of Severus' wrists with one hand before moving the other to his hip, holding him in place as he pressed down and grinded into him, hitting as deep as he could possibly go.
No longer able to cover his mouth, Severus was letting out sounds that were starting to drive Harry to the brink of madness. It almost didn't even sound like Severus' voice any more, but it encouraged Harry to keep going nonetheless, the sound of the rain and thunder drowning out the sound of their bodies hitting each other.
The release came like an explosion. Harry had felt it building up for a while, so when it finally hit him it rendered him almost motionless. One last, hard thrust and he spilled everything into his new partner, biting down onto Severus' shoulder to keep from making some pathetic, whimpering sound of pleasure. He was completely unaware for a few moments, the room being silent save for the storm and their breathing. Even the fireplace had burnt to cinders and was merely a dull glow in one corner of the room.
Harry let his weight set on Severus, the hand clutching the wrists loosening as they both breathed. Harry could feel Severus' pulse, pounding hard and fast, matching the hum he could hear in his ears. He let his eyes wander to the man's face, flushed, tired, and covered in sweat. They were both on the verge of passing out, and Harry knew it. So, he pulled out of Severus and slumped onto the bed at his side, laying on his back in an attempt to catch his breath, unaware as darkness slowly took him to a dreamless sleep.