Day 5: Certainty & Change of Heart

It had been three days since the Survey Corps had returned to Paradis from Marley and things were finally calming down. Meetings were had, the memorial for the fortunately few casualties was done and over, and the survivors finally had the time to sit down, relax, and talk to each other casually without worry for having to run off in the middle of the conversation.

Which for Annie meant lurking quietly through the headquarters by herself, trying to avoid everyone. People were still wary around her even after four years with them, and she herself didn't feel right forcing her company on them. It wasn't like she was a very social person anyway.

It also meant she had all the time she wanted to think. Think about her actions, now and before, think about the future, think about the people she had lost and those she had now. And about Armin.

They haven't talked since the kiss they shared on the ship while on their way to Marley. In part, that was because there was no time for anything that minor, but also because Annie was avoiding him. Avoiding the conversation they obviously needed to have. Because she didn't want to break his heart.

Or break her own heart.

Because she was certain there couldn't be anything between them. It was wrong and there was no point. She was going to die in two years and then Armin would be alone anyway. Even if she wanted to date him, he would soon remember who she was. That she was the Female titan. She was directly and indirectly responsible for the deaths of many, many Paradisans. She had been his enemy, even if they were on the same side now.

As she walked through the castle, lost in thought and not really paying attention to her surroundings, she didn't notice at first that this new corridor wasn't as deserted as all the others were. Only when a growl of "Fuck, I missed you" followed by a low moan reached her ears did she freeze in her tracks, her head snapping up with wide eyes, staring at the scene before her, just in time to watch in horror as Eren Jaeger lifted Captain fucking Levi up like he weighed nothing and slammed him against the wall. The smaller of the two immediately wrapped his legs around Eren's waist, while Eren himself latched on to his neck.

It was exactly like the one time Annie witnessed a car crash when she was ten and still in warrior training. Just like back then, she couldn't look away even though she wanted to, paralyzed, her eyes only widening more when the Captain tangled his fingers in Eren's finally washed, long hair to yank his head up so he could plunge his tongue inside his mouth instead. Eren didn't even pause, only pressed himself closer and started pulling Levi's shirt up to slide his hand under it, feeling the warm skin of his sides. Neither of them was holding back at all, both obviously knowing exactly what they were doing, as if this was what they did all the time.

And it probably was, Annie's mind supplied.

It was only when Eren started grinding into Levi that a strangled noise left Annie's throat, making the two finally notice her.

They both stopped what they were doing, slowly pulling away from each other to look in her direction. It took a long, incredibly awkward moment of the three of them staring at each other until Levi moved first, tapping Eren on his shoulder lightly. Complying with the silent command, Eren took a step back, setting the Captain carefully back on the ground. As soon as he was on his own two feet again, Levi started fixing his shirt and hair casually, looking as if getting caught making out with a subordinate was a completely normal, regular occurrence.

Eren and Annie stared at each other for second longer, but with the spell broken, the whole situation was getting unbearable for Annie. She cleared her throat and pushed her hair behind her ear, finally managing to turn her eyes away. "I'll just... pretend I didn't see anything," she muttered, her voice thankfully sounding as cool and unaffected as it always did.

"No need, everybody who matters probably knows by now anyway," Levi remarked almost before she finished her sentence.

Annie looked up at the man, but he only gazed back at her expressionlessly, so she looked Eren for confirmation. He only shrugged and Annie blinked a few times before she shook her head and turned on her heel to leave. It was their business and if Mikasa and the Commander didn't mind... This whole thing was awkward enough as it was either way.

"Annie, wait."

Annie paused at Eren's voice, turning her head to the side slightly to indicate she was listening.

Eren, understanding her wordless prompt, continued. "Are you avoiding Armin?"

The question made Annie turn back around to glare at Eren with hard eyes. "So what if I am? Isn't it my choice who I chose to spend time with?"

Out of the corner of her eyes Annie saw Captain Levi roll his eyes and fold his arms across his chest, while Eren only sighed. "It might be your choice but Armin is my best friend and your making him terrified that he did something wrong."

Annie flinched, looking away. She didn't mean to make him feel bad, she only wanted to protect them both. "Can I ask you two something?" she said after a while of thick silence.

Eren and Levi exchanged a glance, before they gave Annie their full attention. "What is it?"

"Why... How can you be together?"

Levi narrowed his eyes at her dangerously while Eren cocked his head to the side before he spoke up, his voice flat and slightly offended. "I don't follow."

"I mean, you're a shifter. You're going to die in a few years. Why would you complicate everything with a relationship? Why would anyone want to date you?" She elaborated, starting to feel slightly frustrated when she notices Eren's lips twitch slightly, despite his eyes not mirroring the movement.

Levi, too, huffed out a humourless laugh that sent chills down Annie's spine. "What the hell kind of people do you think we all are here?" he asked then, making Annie frown in confusion before he went to explain with a sigh. "We are the Survey Corps. We're all fucking nut cases. We've literally just returned from declaring a war on the whole goddamned world. A world we still know next to nothing about. We could all die tomorrow for all we know. Who the fuck cares if you do it on pretty schedule or because a titan took a shit on your head."

"Titans don't shit, Levi."

"Shut the fuck up, Eren."

Leaving Armin's room that evening, a soft smile was playing on her lips. Just a few hours before, she was certain she didn't want this. And she still wasn't sure it was a good idea but she couldn't deny there was something to Captain Levi's words, eloquently put or not. It was true they could all die any day in this war, so there wasn't really a point in holding back.

They could try being happy at the very least, even just for a little while, right?