Dear Remy,
This is one entry in my diary that you'll never see. I'd never admit it to you, but maybe I don't miss you as much…
You see, I finally controlled my powers. But the catch was that I was left with mortal fear of touching anyone. So I went to see a psychologist who helped me to overcome this fear.
But he did more than that. He uncovered pools of guilt so deep I hadn't realized that I'd been drowning in them. He taught me that I never needed to keep a secret from someone; and he did so by never keeping a secret from me.
After we had shared so much of our pasts with each other we inevitably became drawn together.
At first it was in friendship. It is inevitable to show someone so much of yourself and not feel connected with them. But he is more than a friend to me. So much more.
I only wonder what would happen if I told you this…I have already broken your heart once, but if I went and visited you and told you all about me and Justin I don't think I would be able to stand the look of deep pain that would cloud your face.
Your demonic eyes would become outlined in tears, and as I broke your heart again, so I would also break my own.
This is why I will not locate you. It has been five years, but it is best that I don't. I don't want to see you suffer.
I hope, my love, that you have made your own life away from me and the X-men. I hope that you have found love, and someone who cares for you as I did.
But then again, I still lay awake at night, wishing so hard that you were lying next to me. Now that we could touch…
I wonder, that I don't have anything of you. I can still remember the scarf you stole off of my neck, the way the wisp of material whipped around my face before it was carried away with you, leaving the breeze to lap at my bare neck.
I have Justin now, but before I can give him everything, I must let your memory go. I cannot feel guilty for what I am going to give Justin. I do not have to feel guilt for giving him my love.
But before I must let you go.
A.N: Just a tid-bit. More on the way, I promise!
Okay, well, thanks, again, for all who have reviewed. Also, I recently started a new 'fic called A Cut of Cajun. I just don't know whether I should continue, and submit it, it's really dark!
But anyway, for what it's worth I'll finish the first chapter and post it, then you can tell me what its worth. Thanks, guys!