As the days passed more children joined us in the large housing. At the same time others left. Leaving was celebrated because it meant that the egg was ready to hatch and its facehugger was ready to attach to a human clone. What came next was a waiting period. We still got to look after our clone with the facehugger attached, but until the facehugger detached, there was little to be done.
The entire process to birth a new xenomorph usually took a month, depending on how new the egg was. Mine was new; I sensed it the moment the Queen had revealed it to me. I had been in the children dorms for a month and a half. I do not remember what it was called; I did not care at the time. All I knew was that it was the place where I waited a month and a half for my facehugger to impregnate its host.
We were kept under a strict schedule after we moved away from our homes. Our families were allowed to visit and I wa happy when my parents brought Katie with them to visit.
It was nice to have the occasional visit to break up the monotony of the research that was conducted on our bond with the eggs, both physically and mentally. It was not as I had fantasized. There was no unlimited ice cream or late bedtime. Everything ran on a schedule, and to a child that was incredibly dull and boring. We were experiments in the guise of human children. I may not have been raised in a traditional family unit, but I had access to records and databases, even media from the more colonized planets untouched by xenomorphs. I was a child, not stupid.
It was to be expected. I was created for the sole purpose of domesticating the most dangerous species known in the universe. Technically, we were property and held no rights. Our minds and bodies belonged to the Wetland-Yutani Corporation. We just did not know or understand it at the time.
"Now Mikki," Dr. Lark explained to me as he checked his monitors.
I was in a room with several other people all wearing lab coats. There was a mirrored wall in front of me and the adults kept talking as if someone on the other side could hear them. My skin felt itchy and the room was too warm. The electrodes that stuck to my skin were irritating, especially the ones around my head. They had made me cut my hair. There would be no more braids to make me look like a princess.
"What I need you to do is talk to your egg, like we've practiced," he said while his eyes were glued to a small screen. The beeping of the room was constant and annoying. I had done the same thing for them over and over again at this point. I was tired and hungry and very bored.
"They're not ready," I grouched crossing my arms in a petulant pout.
My egg was sitting across from me similarly hooked up to a monitor with wires and electrodes.
"And how do you know that, hm?" Dr. Lark questioned in a distracted manner and noted something on his electronic pad.
"Because I told you already like a bazillion times," I mumbled pulling my teeth back and exposing them in a snarl. Dogs did that when they were grouchy and I could too.
I was not lying to the doctors that kept poking me and asking stupid questions and writing down notes. No matter what answer I gave they asked the same things over and over again and made me do dumb things everyday.
What I failed to tell them was that she spoke to me. Not the egg, or even the facehugger necessarily, but the xenomorph consciousness in my egg. She spoke to me more as the days progressed. Not with words out loud, not even words in my head like the Queen had, but I knew her feelings, I could feel them as if they were my own. I had debated on telling the doctors, and had even attempted to try, but as time passed the more secrets I kept.
"Okay, we're set, go ahead Mikki."
"And do what?" The sass in my voice was unmistakable.
"Mikki, please don't be rude to the doctor, honey," my Dad's voice reverberated in the room. My parents were watching like they always did. I turned my head to the reflective glass. They had been different lately, asking me questions regarding Dr. Lark and my egg. I was short with them, except when they spoke about Katie, or brought me sweets. Chocolate was my favorite.
"You don't need to do anything special." I turned my head back to Dr. Lark. "Just talk to your egg, alright? Let him know he's safe and when he's ready we have someone very special to introduce him to." The very special person they meant was the human host they had cloned for my egg to impregnate. I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that my egg was a girl, and the xenomorphs were not boys or girls. Drones are genderless, most of them anyway, and if they were born with a gender it was male and they were all sterile.
People kept staring at me expectantly until I sighed and turned back to my egg. I still had not named her. I figured once she was born she would tell me her name.
My hand rested on the egg. "You're safe. It's okay to come out now." There was a slight mocking tone in my voice that the adults did not pick up on it. I had turned four when everything started a few months ago and with it came less tolerance and more trouble making tendencies.
Warmth rushed into my hand and I was overcome with feelings of annoyance and stubbornness. The annoyance was not directed at me, but at the humans. I tried not to smile, but I could not help myself.
The sounds from the monitor varied and the adults went into a flurry of activity. "Good, good, nice progress, keep talking."
"I don't want to," what I meant was I did not want to talk to her in front of them. I spoke to my egg all of the time and she knew the sound of my voice. But she simply was not ready. Also, I could not bare the thought of my egg impregnating some unfamiliar human host. No one could keep her safe and warm like I could.
From the answering emotions I could feel from my egg, she felt the same.
"Look at this," Dr. Lark said in astonishment. "This reading is completely off of the charts. I can't believe this." The other scientists and doctors huddled around their monitors and screens. "We'll need to prepare the human host soon. Let's have it ready in a fortnight."
They spoke in hushed and excited tones about something they knew very little about. They never had.
They stuck me with another needle without warning and I ignored the sting. One day, they would not be around to hurt either of us. We would be free.
Soon, he had said. Yes, it was going to be soon, but sooner than they thought. She was going to be ready tonight.
The room was quiet. All of the children were asleep, their accompanying eggs sitting on their bedside table. My fingers were tingling and my heart was pounding in excitement. I could feel the sting of the needles and shocks of electricity through my body from the tests earlier today. None of it bothered me. I pushed it back further from my mind, ignoring all of the discomfort in my body because something much more exciting was happening. It was finally time.
After months of exhausting tests, I was going to be free.
My egg was moving from side to side. The facehugger's shadow was apparent and swimming around eagerly awaiting to be released. The top of the egg parted slowly in a sigh and I held my breath. This was the moment I had been waiting for since the Queen had gifted her egg to me. I sat up in bed quietly not wanting to disturb the others.
Slowly, the arms appeared and grasped along the sides of the egg. The tail writhed and the facehugger sprung from the egg with abandon. My neck arched watching as it enthusiastically scampered across the room. The egg teetered on the table and fell with a crash. The other children startled at the noise and began to panic as they realized that a facehugger was loose.
The sensors and cameras in the room picked up the commotion and a red light shone and a siren wailed. I did not notice anything outside of the facehugger eagerly making its way towards me until it was too late. Armed humans rushed into the room and I nearly screamed in fear as they shot at the facehugger. I screamed again this time in fear and went to protect the facehugger. I ran between their legs and they hesitated trying to get around me. Perhaps it was considerate of them. They did not want to harm a child, property or not. Their inability to kill me and the facehugger was the reason they all died quite painfully in the end.
The facehugger did not jump me; it recognized me. I scooted behind a table and then scrambled out of various arms until I was out in the hallway. The facehugger's spidery limbs clacked on the hard floor behind me. I turned a corner, out of breath and slammed back against the wall clutching my shirt. Sweat dripped down my brow and the hair on my thin arms prickled as the facehugger crawled up my body.
The tail was smooth and slick as it wrapped securely, almost lovingly around my neck. The limbs pulled at my hair. Trying to find a secure hold. Admittedly, I was nervous, sweating, and a little revolted when I saw the mouthpiece reach out. Subconsciously, I knew that this creature was guiding me and I knew what was going to happen, but being confronted with the moment was entirely different, especially for a four year-old. Children do not comprehend long term as adults, nor do they typically think of consequences. Consequences are for adults and what society and others depict as repercussion for your wrong doings.
What I was doing-allowing the facehugger to impregnate my four-year-old self, was not wrong. The adults just did not understand. They clearly were not able to communicate with the Queen and if they did they would never dream or dare to treat her in such a vile manner or hold her captive.
Admittedly, this is where where my memory fails. I know it was uncomfortable and a little smelly. There was a choking sensation as I struggled to breathe at first until the facehugger fed me oxygen. Swallowing was awkward, and I almost chocked a few times. As much as I disliked the human scientists of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, and enjoyed killing them many months later, there was a reason why they decided on human adult hosts. Child anatomy did not align as well to impregnation from a facehugger.
Something pushed further down my throat and I almost gagged. I tried swallowing multiple times until my reflex calmed. My heart rate accelerated, almost beating out of my chest. The limbs of the facehugger clasped around my head more securely and it felt like a calming caress.
The lights were blinding. My eyelids fluttered closed again but it was still too bright. I groaned, hearing the background noise of machines, beeps and people talking and scurrying anxiously.
"She's awake!"
"Mikki?" Dr. Lark called. I could tell his heart was accelerated and he was sweating so much I instinctively moved away from him.
There was nowhere to go. I was strapped down on a gurney, wearing a stiff hospital gown and nothing else. The medical and scientific staff surrounded me from all sides, wearing green and blue outfits and facemasks. I panicked, but the effort was futile as my wrists strained against the bindings holding my arms and legs securely.
"Everything is going to be fine."
It was not going to be fine. I did not know where I was or what was happening.
People kept talking to me but I stilled completely when I saw a woman place the facehugger on the tray. Suddenly, I remembered, and I was overcome with a strange sense of sadness. I knew the facehugger had to die for a xenomorph to be born. It was their sole function, just as a host was used to incubate the xenomorph until it was ready to be born. But I still had communicated with it in some primitive way.
"Her vitals are normalizing, heart rate is a little high."
"What about the xenomorph?"
"Heart rate is stable, nothing out of the norm for this stage."
"Perfect, let's get her sedated and transferred. We're going to keep her monitored as heavily as possible. We're not leaving anything to chance this time."
Something rubbed on my arm followed quickly by a sharp sting. Warmth spread through my body. My muscles relaxed and became weighted. I opened and closed my mouth multiple times trying to speak. I couldn't move. That thought sent me into a panic.
"Heart rates is skyrocketing, sir. 95, 107, 129, 133!"
"Double the sedative, now!"
I could not breathe, and then, there was only darkness.
"Mikki, darling can you hear me? It's us, it's Mom and Dad."
My eyelids fluttered open, but I was still very disoriented. Monitors were beeping, and there was a mask over my face. My skin felt itchy and uncomfortable. There were wires and needles all over my body. The air smelt stale, humid and flowed to my face in a controlled level. My hands lifted off the bed, trying to get free.
"No, sweetheart, don't pull, those are there to keep you safe and healthy." My head turned lazily to the side where the voice was coming from. It was my mother. Besides her was my father. They were covered in a garish black suit from head to toe. I could hardly tell it was them behind the mask.
My eyes were wet, and something was leaking from my eyes. I might have been crying, but I was not sad, I was tired, and confused, and admittedly very afraid. I tried to make my mouth move to form words.
"Sh, baby don't speak." Her rubber hand reached out to smooth my hair back from my forehead. It was less than appealing, and the rubber of the suit was unpleasant. She never spoke to me so softly, so endearingly before. I knew she cared, I never knew any different, but children are smart. We can sense when people are being sincere, when adults are lying to us. We learn and we adapt.
I moved my head away from her, and she calmly relaxed it back to her side. My Dad kept his distance from both of us. His eyes looked at me peculiarly, like he did not know what he was seeing or what to make of me. He was sitting stiffly at my mother's side. They rarely touched, or showed physical affection, not the kind that I later learned was normal.
Another person came into the room with a hiss from the air vents. They held a pad and spoke quietly amongst my parents before addressing me.
"Are you hungry, Mikki?" The person asked.
"Are you sure it's safe for her to have food?" My mother asked in a clinical voice.
A tray was wheeled in by another person in a suit. Even through the vents I could smell something delicious and sweet. My eyes opened further.
"It's perfectly fine. We have estimated gestation about fourteen days. We'll need to monitor her carefully, of course, as she is very young. Most of our hosts fair differently, but there are plenty of other accounts to go by."
By accounts, he meant others had been impregnated by other less controlled means. It was part of the reason why the xenomorph population was controlled by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation.
A tray appeared before my bed and the restraints at my wrists were undone. The mask at my face was removed as well. I gasped on the room air.
"Easy, child. The air is treated, you should be able to breath just fine."
My shaking arms pulled me up in bed and I shied away from my parents, not wanting to feel the suits against me. The tray hovered over my bed and I removed the covering from the plate and smiled eagerly at the pancakes. Someone began cutting them for me and slathering them with butter and syrup. At my insistence, more syrup was poured on top. I ignored the laughs and tucked in enjoying the taste.
The weeks passed and little changed except the facehugger was gone as was my egg. I was secluded in a room without company for most days. The only people that accompanied me were medical professions taking notes, sticking needles into me or taking blood from me. My mother came twice to see me in the first few days, but my father never came again. I think I understand why. There were so many unknowns. I was a monster in his eyes, in many of their eyes. It was either that or a science experiment, which to be fair I was and always had been from the moment I was conceived from my parents genes and raised in a test tube. Katie never came to visit me. I wished that she would have been allowed to come visit. I had planned to save her an orange from my lunch as a late birthday present.
"You didn't eat much today." One of the suits commented as they took the tray away.
"Not hungry," I grumbled wrapping my arms around my chest and stomach. Ever since yesterday my body felt cold and hot at the same time. My pulse was loud and there was a stirring in my chest I could not ignore.
"Do you not feel well?" The suit asked again and handed the tray to someone else. The suit lifted my wrist for a moment and spread open my eyelids. I groaned as she let me go and forced my hands away from my body. A hiss escaped my teeth as they presses against my ribcage. The hands faltered against me and began to shake.
"Alert the team and Dr. Lark and prep her for surgery, it's time." The suits voice was firm with a hint of fear. More of them came in and I was unhooked from my wires and most of my electrodes and transferred to a gurney. They were speaking in hurried tones. I could not help but struggle as I was transferred, feeling afraid all of a sudden.
A mask was placed over my face and I pulled at the restraints at my wrists. They were taking me to surgery, to extract the xenomorph. I knew it had to be done, but nevertheless I was deeply fearful. I had to remind myself, that this was what I had wanted. Mortality is a concept not grasped until much older, but for the first time, I understood. I could die here. I could die and not meet her, the xenomorph Queen living inside of me waiting to be born.
We were wheeled into a room where the lights were blinding. They stood around me in different suits and masks. There were knives. They held knives.
"Breathe deeply for me," they said when a mask was placed over my mouth and nose. Something else was injected in my body.
"Everything is going to be fine," one of them said to me as my focus clouded.
"Just stay relaxed, and this will all be over soon."
They were right, it was all going to be over soon.
I was back in the room, the very same I had awoken in the day after allowing the facehugger to impregnate me. I gasped surprised at how much it hurt. There was a large scar down my chest. The puckered scar entranced me. I sat up in bed and stared about the room. It was no easy feat, but I managed.
"Hello?" I called, but the words were weak and pitiful. They carried little strength, but I knew what I wanted. I wanted to see her. "Bring her," I called out louder. The more I said the words, the more right they felt. A faint buzzing stirred in the back of my mind. The more conscious I became, the larger it grew. I felt fear, desperation, longing. All of these emotions were so far removed. I knew they were not mine, but they felt like mine.
I choked on a breath, realizing whose emotions they were.
"I want her, bring her here!" My voice grew shrill the only way a child's could. "I want her! Bring her to me! You can't keep her away from me!"
People rushed into the room to restrain me. One of them was about to sedate me. I noticed the needle until someone else stopped it from descending.
"For gods sake, just give it what it wants! Nothing is going to shut them both up! I'm tired and all of the drugs in the world won't delay this meeting. Get the team set up, I'm sure Dr. Lark will want this all recorded."
"But what if it kills the girl, and us for that matter?"
"That's what we have other subjects for. As for us, well we'll restrain them both, precautions of course."
I continued to wail until suddenly, I was struck sharply across the face. The shock of being hit silenced me. The sting against my cheek was mild, but I felt anger bubble up in my chest at the audacity of this person. How dare they strike the Mother of a Queen! They would die for it.
A strange rumble grew deep from within my chest. I ignored the pain in my chest and let the sound escape. My lips pulled back in a snarl and the people in the room stood shocked at the threatening hiss.
They backed away from me slowly, and I continued hissing at them encouraged by their fear. I felt the answering pleasure in the back of my mind.
The door opened and we all stopped. The hissing from another creature stopped as well. My breath stilled and I was transfixed. She was beautiful, breathtakingly beautiful and I could not believe that she had come from my body.
She was over a foot long, sleek and black and everything about her screamed predator. I wanted her and she wanted me. She was mine and I was hers. But she was also in chains and encased in a container nearly two feet in diameter.
"What are you doing to her?" I growled at the people bringing her in. "You put her in a cage!"
I grabbed greedily for her with my hands and rose to my knees crawling closer to her. Hands shot out urgently to hold me back and I found her hissing at them. I ignored the pull of discomfort in my chest.
"Stop, let her go," Dr. Lark said appearing by my side. "Open it," he instructed and the clasps securely holding the xenomorph inside loosened with a snap. She pulled sharply against her restraints and I rushed to her before anyone could stop me.
It was as if I was whole again, or rather I had discovered something long since lost to me. My hand shook and her tail wagged excitedly and we stared at one another. Her head cocked to the side, and it looked so awkward on her that I giggled.
"Hello." She bobbed her head up and down and a full laugh escaped me. I clutched at my chest and suddenly her antics stopped as she peered at me in concern.
"Extraordinary," someone breathed watching us. They were all watching and I wanted them to disappear.
"We shouldn't have let them near each other. This is wrong, all of this is wrong."
"I'm alright," I told her answering her unspoken question and finally reached my hand out to soothe against her sleek hide. She practically purred and rubbed her face against my palm. I could not explain it, but I knew how she felt and I could anticipate her needs as if they were my own.