A/N: Hey guys! It is the last chapter. Ahhhhh I also decided to post a day early as a gift to you guys. Thanks for reading.
Clary rubbed at her face, propping herself slightly. Her gaze landed on her husband, who was lying next to her with her son cradled in his arms. There was a pit in her stomach, she remembered the cool metal in her finger seconds before it flew from her hand. Her heart pounding in her ears, as the memory of Jonathan's face of shock and betrayal after the knife landed in his chest.
She wanted to puke, but she was paralyzed in her place.
"Clary?" Jace shifted in the bed, stroking her cheek lightly, but it made her sick.
She flinched away from him, shaking her head. Her eyes landed on a large blood stain on the floor next to her bed. "I killed him." She stammered, feeling the bile rise in her throat.
"Clary, you didn't have a choice." He reached for her again, and she had to get away from him. She had to get away from everyone.
She whimpered loudly when she fell out of the bed. She curled into a ball on the floor, as pain radiated everywhere. She broke into a sob, feeling overwhelmed with guilt. She killed her brother. She murdered him. She could have stopped him without ending his life, but she knew that her actions were a gut reaction. She didn't mean to. She didn't even know where the knife had come from, which scared her.
"Clary," Jace laid down in front of her, and she didn't have the energy to move.
"Get away from me." She muttered, tucking her head into her shoulder.
"What's wrong?" He stroked her hair, scooting closer to her.
"I killed him." She murmured, looking over at him.
"He was going to kill me." He breathed, gathering her in his arms. "However wrong it felt, you prevented him from murdering me. You didn't have a choice." He whispered, moving to his knees. "You need to be in bed." He breathed, lifting her off the ground. She winced heavily, holding onto him.
He rested her on the bed and she found herself asleep before her head hit the pillow.
OoOoO
Clary arose to the sound of crying and the feeling that her breast were going to burst. She held her chest, as she sat up. "Clary? Thank goodness." Jace breathed a sigh of relief, bringing their son to the bed. "I think he's hungry." He explained, shifting the baby towards her. "Could you try feeding him?" He asked, holding her son out to her.
"Um… yeah." She nodded, rubbing her hand over her face. She looked over at the floor next to her, and the stain was gone. The floor had been scrubbed clean. She wondered if Jace had done it after he saw her reaction to it.
She lifted her son from his arm, pulling her breast out. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to do." She stammered, lifting the babe up to her teat.
"I don't know either. The woman that helped you deliver fled after you fainted, and Isabelle is still unconscious in the other room." Jace seemed overwhelmed with worry, as stroked their son's head.
"Is his name Dominic?" She asked softly, opening the baby's mouth and bringing it closer to her.
"Yes," He smiled faintly. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there when he was born. I really wanted to be." He spoke softly, squeezing her knee lightly.
"I know. You didn't have a choice." She sniffled faintly, feeling so incredibly drained. "I really don't know how to get him to eat." She shook her head, feeling tears gather in her eyes.
"It's alright." He kissed her head, climbing to his feet. "I'll go find someone to help." He offered, looking at her with hopeful eyes.
She nodded silently, as the tears trickled down her cheeks. She covered her chest back up, lying back against the pillows with her son in her arms. She rested her forehead against his, breathing in his baby scent. He was so precious, and he didn't deserve to be born on a day like this. He was so much smaller than most babies she had seen, and she knew it had to do with the fact that he was born two months too soon. It broke her heart when she didn't hear his cries when he was born. She was so thankful he was alive, but that wouldn't last long if she couldn't get him to eat.
A woman walked in and removed her hood, and Clary busted into a sob. She was so happy to see Dot in her door way. Jace stood behind her, letting the woman help his wife when he couldn't.
"Everything is alright." Dot assured her, climbing onto the bed next to her.
"I told you to leave why are you here." She leaned on her handmaiden, who gathered her in her arms.
"Jace sent for me after the battle was over." She shushed the girl, stroking her hair soothingly. "I'm going to help you. Jace there are a dozen different things you need to be doing right now. I know you love her, but she needs some space." Dot declared to Clary's husband.
She gazed up at Jace, seeing the defeated look on his face. He wanted to help her and be with her so bad, but he couldn't help her right now. She didn't necessarily need space from him, but she knew that he would just be standing here watching them. They just conquered a nation, and someone had to be running things. Jace nodded softly, retreating slowly from the door.
She couldn't image how had it feel to walk away from her like that. He has had to do it twice now, and it broke her heart to watch him leave.
OoOoO
There was a soft knock on the door, stirring Clary out of her trance. She had been gazing at Dominic for hours, memorizing his every feature. She called for the knocker to come in, and she smiled sleepily when she saw that it was her husband. "Hi," She grinned, stroking Dominic's soft blonde hair.
"Hey," he smiled uncomfortably, shutting the door behind him.
"How is everything out there?" She ran her fingers through her hair, realizing that she must look like a wreck.
"It's good." He nodded, seeming overwhelming exhausted just like she was. "It's a little hectic, but I declared your place on the throne. The only people who have opposed it were your brother councilors who I dismissed immediately." He explained, lying next to her. He rubbed his temples lightly, resting his head on his pillow.
"I'm sorry I haven't been there to help." She whispered, knowing that if she hadn't given birth, she would be by his side.
"It's not your fault." He kissed her lightly, lingering longer than necessary. "I love you." He breathed, shifting his eyes over her.
"I love you too." She murmured, squeezing his hand. "This feels awkward." She stated, glancing over at him.
"Yeah," He agreed, nuzzling under the blankets.
"This shouldn't feel awkward. We had a baby. We won the battle. Why are things tense?" She asked, rubbing at her face, as she set their baby in his crib.
"We just went through a lot. We are tired." He breathed, drawing her into his arms. She closed her eyes, snuggling against him. He tangled his fingers into her hair, drawing her close to him.
OoOoO
Dot took Dominic for the afternoon, and Clary was determined to go to the throne room. She killed her brother for that throne. She was going to sit in it at some point. Clary held onto Jace, as he helped her walk through the halls. He really wanted her to stay in bed, but she was insistent.
She winced when she took an odd step, gripping hold of her husband's arm even more. "Are you sure about this? I can carry you." He offered, seeming overly concerned for her.
"Yes, I am sure." She huffed, walking slowly.
They entered the throne room, and it felt almost empty. She took a slow breath, drawing away from him. She walked towards the throne, pausing in front of it. She never thought she sit on it. She slid her fingers over the arm rest, remembering the two men who sat there before her. Both vile and cruel.
She would never be like that.
She took a seat on the throne, and she realized how uncomfortable it was. Cold and stiff. She felt like it was her the last two kings personalities. They didn't care about anything or anyone and they were both so tightly wound that they would snap at any moment. She shifted slightly, wincing heavily. Her body was still sore from labor. She knew this chair definitely didn't help. She felt like her father was going to round the corner and scold her for sitting in his seat, but she knew he wouldn't come.
"This is weird." She muttered, turning his eyes to his.
"I bet it is." He hummed, stepping up next to her. "You look like you were made for it." He mused, sitting on the arm rest.
"Right." She muttered, leaning her head back against the back of the chair.
"You do. I would never lie about that." He chuckled, pushing hair away from her face.
"I know." She whispered, feeling her nerves churn in her stomach. She leaned back against the head rest, sliding down enough to be comfortable before she closed her eyes. She couldn't believe everything she went through was for this chair, and it wasn't even comfortable. She released a breath, climbing out of it. "I want this thing destroyed." She muttered, looking up at her husband, who nodded at her command.
"Jace," she breathed, holding out her hand. His fingers laced with her, as he stepped in front of her. "How did I get that knife in my hand?" She whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. She didn't understand where it came from, and it was torturing her.
"I had one on my belt and you grabbed it." He stroked her cheek lightly, shaking his head at her. "He was a very bad man, Clary. I love you. Our son loves you. I know it hurts, but you can't let this haunt you. This country needs you, not me. I can hold the lines for you but I can't do it forever. You need to address the people. You need to be coronated." He explained, putting their foreheads together.
"You're right." She nodded, drawing away slightly. "I'll start working on a speech. We can gather the knights, staff, and anyone who can fit in this hall. I'll commission a new throne, crown, and gown." She started rambling the things that they needed to do.
Jace nodded, logging away things that he needed to do.
OoOoO
Clary hummed softly, swaying side to side, as she held Dominic close to her. He cooed loudly, squirming in her grasp. She laid him down on the bed, readjusting his small blanket. She kissed his head, brushing the little hairs away from his face. "You are so beautiful." She breathed, lifting him back up. She patted his back before sitting down in a rocking chair.
She wasn't ready to deal with the rest of the world. She just wanted to stay in her little bubble with her beautiful boy, but she had so much to do. She groaned in frustration, rubbing at her temples. She was exhausted. Dominic fell asleep rather quickly, which she was thankful for. She didn't want to deal with him sobbing because she was so tired.
She got to her feet, striding over to her son's crib. "You should come to bed." Jace appeared in the doorway, cocking his head curiously to the side.
"I know." She sighed, walking over to him.
"I ordered a new throne from the sketch you made, and scheduled your speech for a week from today." He brought his arms around her waist, soothing one hand down her long hair. "You're alright." He hummed, as she collapsed against his chest. "You need to take some time for yourself." He stroked her cheek, propping his chin on her head.
"I don't have time." She rubbed her hand over her face.
"Yes, you do." He smiled, looking down on her. He led the way to her their room across the hall. Clary knew that Dominic would be alright through the night, as long as Dot was there. She said she would wake her if her son needed to eat.
"Tomorrow I need to get a gown fitted and see the royal jeweler." She rubbed her temples, as she entered their bedroom.
"Let's not talk about business." He smiled sheepishly.
"You're right." She shook her head, pulling her hair to the side, so that Jace could unlace her gown. "I'm sorry I've been so off." She sat on their edge of their bed, running her hands over her face.
"You have every right to be off of your game." He crawled up behind her, rubbing her shoulders. She groaned heavily, letting her head drop forward. "Your brother is dead, you had a baby, and you're now being crowned queen of a country. You are allowed to feel like you're drowning because you are." He breathed, kissing the top of her head. "I feel like you are trying to take everything on alone, but I'm here for you. Anything you need." He slid his thumbs down her shoulder blades, making her moan.
"I know you are." She placed her hand over his, closing her eyes. "I hate feeling like this." She muttered, running her hand through hair.
"Then don't let yourself feel that way. Fight it." He hummed, pressing his lips to her head. She hummed softly, nodding her head. He was right. She was just letting herself sink, but now she was going to fight it. She was free of a man who tormented her most of her life. She had a beautiful son and a husband who supported her unconditionally.
"I love you." She whispered, turning her head to look up at him. He hummed, leaning down to brush their lips together softly. She drew away from him, resting her forehead on his chin. "Let's go to bed." She declared, crawling back to snuggle under the covers. Clary smiled widely when her husband climbed over her. "I can't have sex for another 5 weeks." She snickered, sliding her hands along her husband's strong planes.
"I know." He kissed her nose, resting himself on his elbows. "I just wanna look at you." He smiled.
"I probably look atrocious." She scoffed, forcing back a small smile. She realized then that this man would always want to be with her no matter what she looked like. "I looked at myself naked in the mirror. It was pretty bad." She winced, trailing her fingers over her now saggy stomach.
"Anything that our child did to your body only makes you more beautiful to me." He collapsed next to her, drawing her into his embrace.
"I'll remind you of that when we get old." She snorted, curling against his side.
OoOoO
Clary walked down the hall with Simon, while she recanted a magnitude of task that he needed to do. Jace was being run thin, and he needed help. She had declared Simon as their advisor, which was fitting. He had been a fly on the wall his whole life, learning all the ins and outs. He never imagined getting this position because her brother didn't look twice at him, but Clary knew he would a valuable member of any court if he was given the chance.
"Thank you so much, Clary. You have no idea how much I appreciate this." Simon had been saying that all afternoon while she talked to him about his responsibilities.
"You don't need to keep thanking me. Now go work. I have to get fitted for a gown for my coronation next week." She patted his back, veering off into another hallway.
She hurried up the stairs, feeling more winded than she would have liked. She was out of shape. She might need to start training again just so she can walk up the stairs without panting for dear life. She touched her hair lightly, wishing that it was down. She looked more regal when it was up, which made her look more queenly, but it felt more natural down. She decided in the day she would put on the armor of a queen, but in the evening, she would be Jace's wife. Jace claimed the title as king, but it was very clear that she was the ruler. They needed her approval for laws to go through.
After dinner though, she was just a wife and a mother. If emergencies happened, she would obviously go back to her queen-like self. She tried her best to keep away from work. It had only been a couple days since she figured out her game plan, but it was working.
She entered a chamber that was filled with cloth. It had been a long time since she had a dress like this made. She trailed her fingers over the material, feeling the softness under her fingers. She smiled widely, when Dot stepped into the room. "I am so excited to make this gown." Dot breathed, pulling out sketches.
"I am excited to wear it." She smiled widely at her handmaiden, drawing the paper from her.
"So I have these three ideas." She gestured to the pages. Clary couldn't believe how beautiful they were. She loved each of them, and she had no idea which one to choose. "I was thinking a royal blue with gold embroidery." She explained, looking hopefully at her.
"Don't they normally wear purple when they are coronated?" She asked curiously, looking up at Dot.
"Yes, but I thought because you are going to be different then your father and brother. You will not leave a trail of blood, so I wanted to remove the color from the palate." She said, placing the sketches on the bench in front of them. Clary skimmed her eyes over the drawing, feeling in awe from every single one of them.
"I don't think I can pick one." Clary murmured, tracing her finger over the edge of the page. She inhaled a small breath, taking in each detail.
"Well, we can mix and match them." She smiled, drawing out a clean sheet of paper. "I also made a few drawings for crowns that match the dress." She hummed, taking out another small stack of papers.
OoOoO
Later in the day, Clary wandered the halls in a casual gown with her son in her arms. She sang softly to him, patting his back lightly. Her heart warmed in her son's presences. He had been crying all afternoon apparently, but he quickly stopped the second he was in his mama's arms. She bounced him lightly, keeping him close to her bosom. She moved her hair behind her back letting it flow behind her. Right now, she wasn't the queen. She was a mother.
Dominic cooed, as his little fist fought free from his blanket. She trailed her fingers over his small hand, feeling the smoothness of his skin. She missed him all the time. It hurt her heart to go about her day without him, but she had a country that now relied on her.
She stroked his soft blonde hair, humming softly as she whispered words of love to her son. She circled back around, entering the nursery, which was next door to her bedroom. She sat down on the rocking chair, scratching his back softly, as she rocked back and forward.
She drew her breast out of her gown, bringing her teat to her son's mouth. She liked that she was able to feed her son, but it hurt. Her nipples were raw and sore, which was beginning to drive her a little mad. She squeaked in pain, as Dominic chopped down on her chest.
OoOoO
She gazed into the mirror, feeling overwhelmed with anticipation. The deep blue velvet flowed over her accenting her small curves. The gold embroidery and beads swirled in elaborate patterns that awed her. She had no idea how this gown had been made in less than a week, but here it was.
Dot picked up her crown, placing it on top of her hair. She looked ten years older, which made her uncomfortable. She wanted to squeeze Jace's hand for comfort, but he had been running around the palace making sure everything was perfect.
"You look beautiful." Dot adjusted the billow skirts before pulling at the strings on the corset one last time.
"Only because you made me beautiful." She snickered, looking at her handmaiden.
"I only heightened what was already there." She complimented, pinning a stray curl behind her ear.
Clary stepped outside of her room, seeing her husband in a shirt that matched her gown. She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm, letting him escort her down the hall. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she took slow steps. She inhaled a deep breath, pausing in place. She brought a hand to her face, carefully touching her forehead. She didn't want to mess up her hair or make-up, but she needed to take a moment.
It was like everything that had happened felt surreal, and now this was real. She was going to be the queen.
She held her side, as she gaped for breath. She wanted to cry. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't trained for this. She was a doll for her whole life here, but now she was a queen. It didn't make sense. Nothing about this seemed real. She felt like the world was spinning and…
"Hey," Jace's calming voice spoke, as his hands cupped her cheeks.
"I can't do this." She exclaimed, shaking her head. "I was trained to be silent and submissive. I can't do this!" She raised her voice, feeling her entire body shake.
"Clary, you are my queen. I have bowed to no one, but today I am bowing to you. Everyone here is bowing to you. There are dozens of advisors here to help you, along with me." He stroked her cheek lightly before tangling his fingers with his own. "I believe in you." He smiled, squeezing her hands lightly.
"I am so scared. What if I make a mistake?" She stammered, looking for assurances.
"You will make mistakes." His words made her squeak in fear.
"You aren't making me feel any better." She whined, drawing away from him.
"I'm just being honest. Now show this nation that you are their rightful queen." He took her hand, leading the way to throne room.
She stood outside the doors with Jace by her side. Two men stood by the doors, placing their hands on the door handles. "Are you ready, your majesty." One of them asked.
"I just need a minute." She blew out, as she stared at the doors in front of her. She had her speech memorized. She knew that she could do this. She was a strong and powerful woman now. She was a force of nature, and she was debuting herself as this countries queen. "Alright, open the doors." She nodded to the men.
The double doors opened wide, and a crowd of people turned to her. She inhaled a deep breath, she did not let the intimidation of all the eyes trained on her let her falter. She shifted her hand to rest on her husband's arm before they strode into the throne room. Jace moved away from her, as they neared the throne, and she walked up the steps alone. She carefully turned her gown around, so she could sit on the throne.
"On this day, we crown Clarissa Adele Morgenstern as our queen." The priest announced, holding the crown in the air. "Do you accept the responsibility to fight and protect these lands?" He asked.
"I do." She nodded faintly, as the priest took a few steps closer to her.
"In the power invested in me, I crown you queen of Idris." He rested the elaborate crown on her head before she rose to her feet. "As per tradition, our new ruler will speak a few words." The priest stepped aside.
Clary cleared her throat, stepping forwards. She didn't know that to do with her hands, so she rested them on her gown. "This country has been filled with destruction and despair. We have been subject to rulers who love death and didn't understand what it meant to protect. I will not be like them. I know that your ruler being a woman could be concerning, but I can bring a perspective to this role that our previous rulers could not." Her voice echoed across the silent room. No one moved. No one made a sound. "I will fight my hardest to make this country thrive because you are my people." She announced. The silence remained, overwhelming her with apprehension.
"Long live the queen." A man in the crowd cheered. The room repeated the statement, making her smile widely.
She looked over at Jace, seeing the proud look in his eyes. "Long live the queen." He grinned.
A/N: She is the queen now yay! I hope that you guys liked it. I was planning on posting an epilogue about her kids, but I have recently decided to stop writing fanfiction completely. I have nothing against fanfiction, but I feel like it is disrupting my authority in Christ. I recently felt like I have been called to put this part of my life behind me because I let it hold as a piece of my identity, and I want my whole identity to be Jesus.
I have part of the epilogue written if you all would like me to post that, but it will not be completed. It is about 2000 words, but if you guys really want it I can post it.
You all have been amazing. I am so excited about how this story turned out. Thank you for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting this story. Thank you for all the support.
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