It was odd, coming back to Liore. The last time Envy had been here, it was to help out Lust and Gluttony with the local Crest of Blood after the Elrics had thwarted their siblings' pawn, a corrupt priest named Cornello. They had found the task to be amusing enough, even though impersonating that fat old sack of shit had left a bit of a bad taste in their mouth.
To return here alongside Alphonse Elric felt… a little surreal, to say the least.
The journey south could have been better. Envy wasn't accustomed to be around a group of humans for so long.
The Tin Can was tolerable, and they were at least somewhat familiar with him. Zampano, Jerso and Yoki kept their distance from Envy, which was perfect as far as they were concerned. Even better, Marcoh, Mei Chang and Scar had not gone with them. Those three Envy could live happily without. Scar could barely control his murderous nature, now that he knew that the Homunculi had engineered Ishval's downfall, and he had made it very clear that killing Envy once was not nearly enough for him. And Dr. Marcoh was worse even than the Ishvalan, now that he was free from his cell beneath Central and that he knew how to destroy a Stone; Envy wasn't sure if they didn't prefer the old, annoying and defeated Marcoh to the new, disfigured and emboldened one.
The problem, funnily enough, turned out to be the little girl.
Well, she was of an age with the Elrics, so Envy supposed she was technically a young woman, but when you're a few decades shy of two hundred years old the lines tend to blur a bit.
The point was, Winry Rockbell bugged the hell out of them.
It had been the first night after they departed from Asbec.
Alphonse had insisted that the two of them had to go over everything in order for him to trust the Homunculus. He had made it clear that he wouldn't commit to anything before he was completely sure that Envy was not leading him into some sort of a trap.
Oh, the irony.
Still, his proposition was sensible and logical. If Envy was in his shoes, they wouldn't be overly generous with their trust either.
The two of them, the immortal Homunculus who could change their shape at will and the boy's soul haunting a hollow suit of ancient armor, had stared at each other in silence for a long while then, neither wishing to be the one to make the first step.
Finally, Envy's patience broke and they glowered at Alphonse.
"Fine!" They had huffed and had crossed their arms in front of their chest, "Yes, you're right. The circle goes through Liore. And yes, we carved a Crest of Blood there. Now what?"
The Tin Can had nodded, making a faint metallic sound as he did so. "What if we simply broke it?" He asked. "We could collapse a part of it, right? It would be the same as erasing the line of a normal transmutation circle."
"Wouldn't work," Envy had shaken their head. "My brothers Pride and Sloth are in charge of the tunnel and they would simply clear the rubble. And regardless, if we're stupid enough to enter, they will kill us. Well, they would kill me and your friends here," they had gestured towards the other compartment of the train where Winry, Yoki and the chimeras slept. "You they will take to Father to await the Promised Day."
Alphonse had tilted his helmet at them. "Is one of your brothers a giant?" Envy had frowned at that. What was the Tin Can getting at? "Black hair, not quite as long as yours, moves kind of slowly and doesn't pay much attention to what happens around him?"
"Yeah, that sounds like Sloth," Envy had felt their throat constrict. If Alphonse had seen Sloth, did that mean that… "How do you know of him?" They asked, trying not to show weakness through their voice.
Alphonse had hesitated. "He… um, he attacked Briggs from under the ground while we were there. General Armstrong had him doused with fuel and tossed him from the wall – there was a blizzard outside – so he'd freeze."
"WHAT?!"
"Shhh!" Alphonse had raised his hands placatingly, "You'll wake the others!"
Envy had jumped out of their seat, face twisted in outrage, "This wasn't the damn deal, you bodyless bastard!" They had growled harshly at the suit of armor. "My help in exchange for their lives. That's what we agreed to!"
"Hey! It's not our fault that we had to defend ourselves!" Alphonse's ire had risen and he had shouted back at Envy. "And in any case General Raven arrived at the fort soon after and ordered Armstrong to thaw your brother out and put him back in the tunnel. So there!"
"Don't you get mouthy with me, you wretched bug!"
"Don't you flip out just because you're afraid!"
"DON'T YOU TWO KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP AROUND HERE?!"
Startled, Envy and Alphonse had turned to stare at Winry who had looked almost comically displeased, her blonde hair in disarray and her blue eyes shooting daggers at the Homunculus and the armored alchemist.
Alphonse had immediately deflated. Envy decided that he would have looked flustered and sheepish If he had had an actual body and a face.
"Uh, sorry, Winry," the Tin Can had offered meekly. Envy suspected that Greed's chimeras had used a similar tone around him back in Dublith.
A part of them was impressed that the girl apparently had at least one of the Elric brats well-whipped. A bigger part merely felt annoyed. Who was she to barge in on them and raise her voice? It wasn't like she was an alchemist or something, or in any way important for the Promised Day. She was just some insignificant little bitch from some God-forsaken little village, and she thought she could yell at them?
(Would Alphonse consider murdering his childhood friend a breach of protocol for their newly-minted alliance?)
(I mean, probably, yeah?)
So Envy had demonstrated great restraint and hadn't even said a single mean word to Winry, instead opting to just glare at her and simply leave the two of them and go to cool off on the outer platform of the passenger carriage.
They had lost track of time there, listening to the rhythmic sound of the train's wheels and gazing at the starry sky above.
"I get it, you know," a soft voice had said behind them, and it turned out that Winry could startle them a second time in a row. "Why you're worried about your brothers. I worry about Ed and Al all the time."
Envy had simply blinked at her for a few seconds, shocked. "Are you comparing yourself to me?" They had finally blurted out. And then had added, in that same surprised voice. "Do you realize I've killed people for much lesser insults?"
Oddly – or maybe not oddly at all – the threat hadn't deterred her all that much. It hadn't pleased her, to be sure, but Envy had expected her to turn tail and run. Humans were supposed to be cowardly, simple creatures, and young girls like Winry even more so.
To their great distaste, Envy was struggling to learn that if there was one thing that should never surprise you about humans, it's their capacity to surprise you.
There's no way that there's no way. They wondered just how much insight did Greed actually have into humans? Him, and Lust and Envy had been the ones among the family to spend the most time in the mortal world before Wrath came along. But with Lust and Envy it had been nothing more than a chore, a means to an end to further Father's plans. For Greed it had been just a way to pass the time and indulge his whims. He had never minded the company of those inferior to him.
No.
Don't go there.
Not in front of Winry.
And then her expression had changed. Her scowl had softened, just for a second, but Envy was experienced enough with facial expressions and they saw it.
"Whatever," she had shrugged, "It's not like I have to take your crap too. Ed and Al leave me plenty to deal with on their own. Have a nice night," she had added as she went back inside the train.
It had been weird, but for just a moment Envy had found themselves wanting to say something to her, something to take away the sting of their words and make her stay to keep them company.
They hadn't, of course.
Winry Rockbell was nothing but a lowly human and they didn't need her or her pitiful attempt to offer some misplaced kindness.
From that point on, Envy made sure to keep away from her. The rest of the journey to Liore had been somewhat lonely, but that was for the best.
The town was different than they remembered it. Much of it had been reduced to rubble when the Crest of Blood was carved, obviously, but it wasn't just that.
If Envy was inclined to think in a more idealistic and spiritual way, they would have said that there was an air of hope and renewal around it, a dramatic contrast to the foreboding zealotry they had helped spread before. A rebirth.
Envy, however, was not especially idealistic and spiritual and merely chalked it down to nothing but typical human pragmatism. Those who had lived through such a heavy turmoil simply had to bounce back, like animals after a wildfire in the woods. If they just broke down and refused to do anything to improve their lot, they would simply die. It was nothing more than an unconscious strategy of survival.
They tried not to stare too much at the scores of humans that were busy rebuilding Liore as their group made its way into the town. Alphonse had insisted that he wanted to take a look at the church of Leto where he and his brother had made a fool out of Cornello. Envy didn't see much point in it, but they had no reason to refuse him.
Eventually they all ended up in front of a food stall, just to shut up Yoki and the two chimeras who were insisting that they were starving.
To Envy's surprise, the woman who was in charge of it recognized the Tin Can and the two of them quickly started chatting like old friends.
Envy tuned the two of them out as they continued to look around, watching as the humans scuttled around like busy little ants. Finally they just shook their head and turned to look at the rest of their companions. Yoki had already seated himself in front of the food stall and was helping himself to a generous portion of broth that looked spectacularly unappetizing to Envy. They supposed the humans needed lots of simple, filling food to keep on working as hard as they seemed.
"Careful not to choke," they smirked at the balding conman as he began wolfing it down, "I once saw a man choke himself to death while he ate. His face turned purple and his eyes nearly jumped out of the orbits. It was a hoot."
Yoki promptly choked and started coughing, spilling hot broth all over his shirt. Envy cackled lightly at him, but moved to pat him on the back all the same.
And then a voice they knew almost as well as their own rang out behind them, and it made them turn their head sharply.
"Okay, Rose! These pots are as clean as they'll get! You have anything else you..." The newcomer suddenly shut up as he saw Alphonse.
Envy squeaked in terror and jumped away, almost shoving Yoki out of his stool.
What was Father doing here?!
How had he found them?!
WHY WAS HE DRESSED LIKE A STUPID HUMAN, APRON AND ALL?!
And then Alphonse muttered a word that didn't help at all.
"D-dad?"
Dad? That was Alphonse's father? Not Envy's?
But... that made no sense. Envy knew that sometimes humans could look alike, but this was absurd. This was not a lookalike. This man's face, his voice... he was a living copy of Father.
A memory flew into their mind. Greed had noted that the Fullmetal Pipsqueak looked vaguely Xerxesian when the three of them had been stuck inside Gluttony's stomach.
As far as Envy could tell only Pride knew the full story of Father's past, but all Homunculi were aware that he had come from Xerxes and that he had been the force behind its fabled demise.
This could not be a mere coincidence. No way.
And then they remembered something else. It was when they had escaped from the false Gate of Truth. Edward and Alphonse had seemed startled by Father's appearance. At the time Envy hadn't paid much attention to it, their whole being had been shaken to the very core by the deconstruction Fullmetal had subjected them to in order to escape from Gluttony's belly. And when they had gathered their bearings, they had found themselves busy with much more pressing concerns than dwelling on something that had seemed singularly unimportant at the time.
It obviously wasn't.
When he briefly flicked his golden eyes towards them, Envy realized that they were staring at the man, mouth slightly agape.
"Alphonse," they said slowly and the Tin Can turned to look at them. If the suit of armor could have an expression, it probably would have been one of puzzlement. "Why does your father looks like an identical twin of mine?"
Eventually Van Hohenheim found them on the charred rooftop of a partially collapsed house.
"I suppose it can all be a little too much to digest at once," he said and they looked up at him as he seated himself next to Envy. "Even for a Homunculus."
Much like his face, his voice was the same as Father's, and that made them tense up, but now they could see that everything else about him was different. From the clothes to the body language.
It was oddly comforting.
"It's... difficult to wrap my head around it, yeah," they shrugged.
Envy wasn't sure exactly how long they had spent on the remains of the rooftop, but the sky had turned orange and the sun was nearly set. They must have been here for hours, going over everything that Van Hohenheim had explained to them and Alphonse, again and again, until nothing made sense anymore.
This man's blood had been used to give life to the entity they knew as Father – although Van Hohenheim merely referred to him as the Dwarf in the Flask, which was so monumentally disrespectful that they half expected Pride to suddenly burst out of some shadowy little corner and slaughter them all just for that insult.
It was funny, but Envy had always imagined that Xerxes' destruction had been something grandiose and awe-inspiring, heavenly fury that had been a testament to Father's cosmic power.
It turned out to be nothing more than deceit, the Dwarf in the Flask literally conning the Emperor of Xerxes into sacrificing his whole country. Granted, the cruelty of it was still impressive... but there had been nothing majestic about it. Humans had done all the work. Without them Father would have remained nothing but a dwarf in a flask.
The thought was terrifying.
If Father truly was as pathetic as Van Hohenheim described him, what did that make the seven Homunculi who were only parts of his being given their own forms?
Was Envy going to be capable of saving their siblings when the time came?
"Al told me about you," Van Hohenheim said, his voice even. "That you offered to help him. And why."
They shrugged, "Yeah, so what?" Their posture was confident and their voice brash. It was important to keep up a strong front, always. There were very few things that Envy hated more than to appear weak. It was especially important now.
Van Hohenheim was older than Envy, older than all of their siblings. Older than Amestris. Older even than Father.
They could not give him the satisfaction of admitting how lost and afraid they truly felt.
How alone.
Envy realized that they missed Greed. The thought was a painful stab.
It was one of the things they had come to realize before they left for the North.
It was never going to be.
It couldn't be.
Greed would never change. He wasn't capable of it. And neither was Envy.
Everything between them had been a lie. Envy had always known this. They both had been willing to indulge in it, to pretend they were something they weren't.
To pretend that their... relationship... had been anything but a twisted mockery of human love.
Neither of them was capable of love. Not the way the humans were.
On some level this made them furious. But mostly, it made them sad.
Bido, the chimera from Dublith, had done more for someone he (naively, but did that matter?) thought was a friend than a Homunculus ever would in his place.
It had been so tempting to dismiss it, to lie to themselves that it was just human stupidity or something, but Envy was tired of lying to themselves. The guy had all but thrown his life away by coming to the lair, and he hadn't even been sure that Greed was still alive.
It hadn't stopped him.
After that Envy had started seeing it in other humans too.
For all their capacity to be weak and corrupt, and selfish, and stupid, and disgusting, humans could also be much more. It sounded sappy and ridiculous, but some of them truly placed each other above everything else. The whole was bigger than the sum of its parts.
Thinking about it had nearly driven them mad when they traveled to the North.
It was then when they had finally made their decision.
If humans could do it, so could Envy.
If Father was willing to throw his children's lives away in pursuit of godhood, then Envy was going to do everything in their power to save their siblings. To show them that they didn't have to serve a dwarf in a flask who had just thrown its sins away.
They could almost hear Greed laughing heartily at the irony of it all.
"So what?" Van Hohenheim's voice tore them out of their brooding thoughts. "This is not something your kind does. The Dwarf did not care for anyone but itself. And from what I've seen of Pride, his... children weren't supposed to be different."
Yeah. The guy had faced Pride in the tunnels beneath Liore and had lived to tell the tale. That alone should have been enough to give them pause. But, as it had turned out, this story was pretty much insignificant compared to everything else Alphonse's father had revealed.
"Pride is an ass," Envy muttered and Van Hohenheim chuckled.
"And what about you?" he asked.
"Oh, I'm a regular little angel," Envy had raised a thin eyebrow at him. "I'm not doing it out of love for your kind, you know."
"Hm," Van Hohenheim had stroked his blonde beard, looking thoughtfully at them. "In Xerxes," he said slowly, "they believed that there were seven sins that plagued the human soul."
"Gluttony, Lust, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, Envy and Pride," they said, their voice bored, "I know. Our names are not given randomly."
"Yes," he nodded, "And Pride certainly seemed, well, prideful. What I meant was, what makes you Envy? What are you envious of?"
Envy gulped, and then the words just left their mouth, blurted out before they could stop themselves.
"Of how you humans care. Of how you love."
They squeezed their eyes shut and lowered their head. Now, more than ever they needed to maintain control. Their hands shook lightly so they clenched their fists until their knuckles turned white.
How could something so simple hurt so much?
They heard Van Hohenheim sigh before they felt his big hand making contact with their shoulder.
In a flash they had jumped to their feet and had spun away from him.
"Don't!" Envy hissed, their eyes ablaze, "Don't you dare! I don't want your pity! I hate you humans!"
Van Hohenheim studied them, the last rays of the setting sun reflected in his glasses. He was silent for a long time as Envy tried to get their breathing under control.
"Well," he finally said and grunted as he got up and prepared to get down. "I've always thought that life is mostly about making the effort. The effort to get what you want, to be who you want to be. If four centuries in this world have taught me anything, it's that everything depends on us. We spend our lives holding our fate in our hands. Who knows, Envy?" he shrugged before he left, "It might turn out that, before you know it, you won't have a reason to envy us anymore."
Envy is probably OOC at this point. A part of it is inevitable, if I'm to be 100 % faithful to their character, it would be pretty much impossible to write any sort of story that has them care about ANYONE.
Obviously, the full realization of their nature is also not nearly as... suicidal as it was in the show. The situation here is also not nearly as terrifying and humiliating for them too, and in my mind that matters. It's one thing to admit something like that to yourself, it's another to get the revelation from an enemy while you're at your weakest.
At least that's *my* reasoning. I hope it works within the context of an AU where Envy saw the Gate of Truth and where they have feelings for Greed.