I've been taking on a new direction

But I have to say

I've been thinking about my own protection

It scares me to feel this way oh oh oh

What's love got to do, got to do with it

What's love but a second-hand emotion

What's love got to do, got to do with it

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

-Tina Turner "What's Love Got to Do with it"

Chapter 7

Dovepaw couldn't forget Redwillow's angry gaze and his readiness to challenge Toadfoot. She looked to the darker warrior, he took a deep breath and turned to face her with a smile on his face.

It looked fake.

"What just happened?" Dovepaw pushed. "Redwillow wanted to shred me which I understand, but he looked upset with you too."

Toadfoot sighed. "Redwillow's sour, he's not on our friendship list. Come on." He led her into the warrior's den.

The first thing she noticed was that the nests seemed to fall into two sides. Few warriors were in here. She recognized Dawnpelt, Owlclaw and Snowbird.

"Hello?" She called towards them with a shy smile.

Snowbird saw her first and then her eyes drifted to Toadfoot. She looked surprised. "What's going on? I heard hissing from outside."

"Redwillow." Toadfoot replied.

Silence

"I'm going to go talk to him." Dawnpelt meowed. "He's such a terrible hunter when he gets like this."

"Like how?" Dovepaw meowed.

She was ignored and Dawnpelt exited the den in a hurry. She saw Owlclaw peering at her like she was prey and shuddered.

"Hmm I'd hoped that more exciting cats would be in here." Toadfoot joked. Owlclaw rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"I can be exciting." Snowbird purred as she bounded over to Dovepaw. She gave her a good sniff, the pretty looking she-cat cocked her head to the side. "This is your first real day, here right?"

Dovepaw nodded shyly. She felt daunted by the she-cat. She looked graceful enough to rival Dawnstar, she was elegant but still had the ferocity of a warrior. She couldn't help but feel like a kit near her.

"Snowbird is Blackstar's sister and my birth mother." Toadfoot explained casually.

Dovepaw was surprised but before she could ask any questions, Snowbird cut her off. "I wasn't ready for them so Tallpoppy took them for me." Dovepaw couldn't imagine a Queen just giving her kits away.

"And there's no hard feelings?" Dovepaw couldn't help but ask looking back and forth between the two. How did a pure white she-cat give birth to such dark kits in the first place?

"It was...an extremely hard decision but I wanted to insure they had the best life possible" Snowbird meowed. "I told them the truth as soon as they could understand it. They didn't mind."

"It was all we knew." Toadfoot shrugged. "Didn't seem weird until cats pointed it out to us."

I wonder how Lionblaze and Jayfeather would have turned out if Leafpool had told the truth from the very beginning. Dovepaw thought.

"I'm going to find my brother." Owlclaw suddenly meowed. "Dawnpelt alone can't calm his nerves. Goodbye favourites." He added bitterly before he left.

Dovepaw frowned, that was the same hostility coming from Redwillow. She heard Snowbird growl.

"What does he mean by that?" Dovepaw questioned.

She was ignored again.

Snowbird began to ask Toadfoot about the dawn patrol and Dovepaw sniffed in frustration. She lashed her tail angrily. "If I'm going to be part of the clan then I should know what's going on!"

Snowbird looked down at her and then to Toadfoot. Tiredly she sighed and lay down near Dovepaw. "I suppose you might as well find out now."

"We don't need to talk about it." Toadfoot snapped. He suddenly reminded her of the Toadfoot from her journey. "Acknowledging it makes it sound like it's a real problem."

"Toadfoot, I want to hear it." Dovepaw meowed.

With his hackles raised he turned away. "Fine tour's over then, meet the warriors on your own." He slinked out of the warrior's den.

"Why is he so angry?" Dovepaw caught a glance of some of the other warriors curled up in their nests. Some had their ears perked.

Snowbird's gaze darkened and for a second Dovepaw worried the she-cat might close up. "Redwillow believes that he and other warriors are being treated unfairly. They claim that certain warriors are Blackstar's favourites."

"That isn't true, right?" Dovepaw meowed.

"Of course not!" Snowbird sniffed. "My brother's no fool, he must respect his senior warriors and that means he hears their opinions first and considers their experience. Is it not the same in ThunderClan?"

"Yes, sometimes Firestar had meetings with his senior warrior to make important decisions." Dovepaw agreed.

"Exactly!" Snowbird curled hers lip. "Redwillow was my apprentice but it seems the lessons I taught him never sunk into his thick head."

"Are their other warriors who agree with him?" Dovepaw meowed.

Snowbird sighed. "A few, his brother Owlclaw, Shrewfoot and sometimes his sister Olivenose. Blackstar held a meeting and told us not to take it to heart. Young warriors often go through a rebellious phase after all."

Dovepaw dipped her head. "Thank you for explaining this to me Snowbird."

The white she-cat laughed. "No need for that now, it's not as bad as it seems. Not all the young warriors are like that. Tigerheart for example is very respectful and kind. I just wish he and his sister didn't hang around Redwillow."

She had wanted to go and find Tigerheart to ask more about Redwillow but Rowanclaw had caught her before she could.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"I think I'm friends with the kits, Snowbird, Flametail and maybe Toadfoot." She told him.

He flashed her an apologetic look. "I almost feel sorry for leaving you with him all day. I had a talk with Blackstar and we've come up with a plan for your apprenticeship."

"He helped you come up with a plan?" She was surprised, she thought the leader would find it amusing to have her out of the clan and roaming as a loner.

Rowanclaw nodded. "He likes it when his apprentices succeed."

She blinked. "I'm your apprentice." She pointed out.

"Blackstar considers himself a mentor to all the younger warriors." He told her gently. "He acted as my mentor after Jaggedtooth left."

There's that name again. "Who is Jaggedtooth?" She asked curiously.

Rowanclaw growled. "A traitor, he fought against the clans during the battle with BloodClan. He never had a loyal bone in his body."

Dovepaw was surprised. "But he did mentor you for a bit?"

He snorted. "I wouldn't call what Jaggedtooth did mentoring. He was lazy, only taught me the basics, he only asked for an apprentice so he could be deputy."

"But he didn't get to be deputy, did he?" Dovepaw meowed already knowing the answer.

"No, Blackstar became deputy and he's hated him ever since." Rowanclaw growled then shook his pelt. "But that's a story for another day."

"Wait!" Dovepaw meowed. "What happened to him?"

"Doesn't matter, we left him in the Old Forest. He's not a problem anymore." Rowanclaw told her.

Dovepaw frowned feeling uneasy, didn't having no clue of what happened to an old enemy frighten him?

"I told Blackstar that I allowed you to hunt," Rowanclaw meowed changing the subject. "He…was bit unhappy that I disobeyed him but I told him about how you hunted. I also told him about how quickly you spotted the RiverClan patrol. He was interested in your progress and he told me who would oversee your first trial."

Dovepaw perked up. "Who?"

Rowanclaw smiled. "Can't say, he told me of your first challenge and it shouldn't be to hard to pass."

"I thought you wanted me to succeed." Dovepaw couldn't help but complain.

He gently patted her on the head with his tail. "I know your challenge so I can prepare you for it."

"Hey Rowanclaw!"

Both cats turned to see Tawnypelt padding towards them with a smile on her face. Behind her was the young she-cat Dovepaw had spoken with at the last gathering. Her fur was black with golden flecks forming huge splotches over her entire body. On the bridge of her nose was a yellow almost greenish round mark.

Rowanclaw touched noses with his mate. "You've brought Olivenose."

Dovepaw forced her fur to lie flat. Olivenose was Redwillow's sister. Snowbird had said that the she-cat sometimes listened to her brother's rants about the older warriors.

Olivenose dipped her head to Rowanclaw and her eyes fell onto Dovepaw. "Hi!" She chirped. "Remember me from the gathering?"

Tawnypelt purred. "I told Olivenose about your friendship quest! She wants to get to know her new clan mate."

"Really?" Dovepaw asked, she couldn't help but feel suspicious.

"Yes!" Olivenose replied. "I think what you did what was really brave, choosing to protect ShadowClan like that."

"T-thank you." Dovepaw stammered.

"Could I borrow her for a bit?" Olivenose asked Rowanclaw.

Before he could reply Tawnypelt curled her tail around his muzzle. "Of course! Rowanclaw owes me a sparrow. He lost a bet." The tom snorted ungracefully but let his mate drag him away.

Olivenose laughed and her gaze lingered on the pair. "I wish I had some cat like that." She sighed wishfully.

"I feel the same." Dovepaw confessed. She was sure Tigerheart was that tom but how could she bring that up to him?

"You're pretty." Olivenose purred cheerfully. "I'm sure you'll catch some tom's eye. ShadowClan toms are really soft on the inside once you break them down like a lizard. She licked her lips.

I know Dovepaw thought to herself. Her face flushed at Olivenose's compliment. "Thank you…you're nice looking too."

The she-cat puffed her chest out. "I know." She meowed. "I just hope some cat notices before I get all old like Whitewater."

"D-do you have any cat who catches your eye?" Dovepaw asked.

Olivenose threw her head back in thought. "Hmmm…Toadfoot's handsome but so…Toadfoot, Scorchfur's a good hunter but he's so dull, Starlingpaw is too young and serious, oh wait! Tigerheart!"

Dovepaw's heart froze.

"But he's so far away sometimes." Olivenose declared. "Like he's in love with some other cat."

Dovepaw let out a sigh of relief then caught herself. She didn't want Olivenose to notice. "Any others?"

"Crowfrost was my mentor but he's a giant flirt and I think he likes someone else. Oakfur… doesn't seem interested. All the senior warriors have issues." She complained then lowered her voice. "Like Blackstar for example…"

Surprised Dovepaw meowed. "Isn't he a little too old for you?"

"But even if I wanted to go for him, he has this thing with Russetfur…" Olivenose gossiped. "They're both too stubborn to realize it, but he growls every time Crowfrost stares too long at her."

Dovepaw chuckled. "That's interesting, I didn't think those two were the lovey type."

Olivenose let out a mrrow of laughter. "Oh no but they trust each other with their lives and I think that's wonderful, trusting some cat like that."

Dovepaw wondered, did she trust Tigerheart with her life? She must have, she came to join ShadowClan for him. The thought of being with him filled her with overwhelming joy but they had only gotten private moments in short bursts. Even on the journey she had to share him with other cats. What was he like for a whole day? She felt frightened, she didn't want to ruin what they had.

"What else is important?" Dovepaw asked anxiously. "You know when you choose a mate?"

"Ooooh are you interested in some cat? So quickly too." Olivenose meowed suggestively. She winked. "I've seen a lot Dovepaw, I know a lot about toms but you know who knows better?"

"Who?" She needed to know.

"Littlecloud." Olivenose meowed.

"Littlecloud?" She repeated, unconvinced. "Medicine cats can't have mates."

"But they hear all the gossip between mates," Olivenose explained. "They're super good at fixing relationships and pointing out future lovers. Littlecloud predicted all the mates in ShadowClan! Basically anyways…"

"I guess that sounds right." Dovepaw agreed. "I'll see him right away!" She wanted to speak with Flametail anyways. The medicine cat apprentice had told her that he knew her secret. She had to figure what he meant by what he said.

Olivenose blinked. "So, you do have some cat on your mind, better wait a while Dovepaw. Some of the toms in this clan aren't as great as they seem."

Dovepaw had met a few of the other warriors, nervous Shrewfoot and Scorchfur. Both had been hostile to her but once Olivenose had told them to lay off they obeyed. Then the three of them had gone on the evening patrol.

Dovepaw was now in the medicine cat's den. Littlecloud was still out and Flametail acted like he hadn't creeped her out the last time he saw her.

Alright let's get to the point

"What did you mean by I know your secret?" She asked him pointedly.

He shrugged. "Perhaps I was just trying to be ominous."

Perhaps?

Dovepaw growled and Flametail turned to her with a willow stick in his jaws. He seemed to be asking her to get out but she refused to budge. If he was going to be difficult then she would be too!

Shrugging again he picked up another willow stick and began to wrap it into a bundle with other sticks. Dovepaw sat in the den in silence for a few moments. A thought popped into her head, if Flametail wasn't going to answer her first question she would just ask another one.

"Could you tell me about Tigerheart?"

Snap

He glared at her with a side eye, the stick had broken in his jaws. He seemed to glare at her for a really long time but Dovepaw bared it. He bent his head back down in silence.

"Was that it?" Dovepaw pressed. "When you meant I know your secret? Were you talking about me and Tigerheart?"

Snap

"That's it." Dovepaw guessed. "How much do you know?"

"Everything." He snapped. "Tigerheart wouldn't shut up about his secret meetings with the pretty little ThunderClan apprentice."

She brightened. "Well I'm ShadowClan so it's okay now."

"No, it's not!" he hissed moving away from the barely wrapped willow sticks to some yarrow leaves. He shuffled them into place beside what she believed to be juniper berries

She took a step back irritated. "Why not?"

Flametail sighed and looked over his shoulder. "What's Tigerheart's favourite kind of prey?"

"What?" She furrowed her brow in confusion.

He pressed further. "What does he do when he's sad? Angry? Happy?"

"What does that have to do with anything." She snapped. "I bet he doesn't know any of those things about me."

"That's worse." He replied dryly while rolling his eyes.

"How?" She was flustered. What is he getting at?

"You've spent fun nights with each other, sure. But you've never had him upset with you and you've never been upset with him. What if he did something terrible?" He growled.

"I-I…want to know more about him." She protested. Was Flametail talking about Tigerheart being in the Dark Forest? That couldn't be true. "I'm trying to be with him but every chance I get he's busy or some cat needs me."

Flametail snorted in disbelief. "I told him," he was muttering to himself. "I told him that it was stupid to play games with a cat's heart. You're both stupid."

Stupid

She looked down at her paws in complete defeat. She had nothing to defend herself with. Her tail quivered and she sniffled.

"I'm trying…" she trailed off, her feet began to tremble. Breathe in…breathe out.

Flametail turned to her looking surprised. "Hey you're shaking."

"It's okay, this happens sometimes I just…I just…" Her legs buckled, and she found herself on the floor, her breath began to quicken. Not now! Her senses began to overflow, she could hear the warriors all the way in ThunderClan, she could see her sister alone in the apprentice den, her former mentor Lionblaze looked across the hollow in sadness. Her nose burned, feeling overwhelmed.

Flametail raised a forepaw in concern. He placed his paw on Dovepaw's chest and she flinched. Get away from me! She wanted to scream. Quickly he rushed to the herb supply. She could hear him begin to curse.

"Herbs for anxiety attacks…this won't do…StarClan I didn't know…" He let out a frustrated noise.

Anxiety? What's happening to me?

Dovepaw curled in on herself. Everything was just too overwhelming right now. She had believed that Tigerheart loved her but his brother and Olivenose just proved that it wasn't real love. She wailed to herself, she didn't know anything about Tigerheart! What if he really was training in the Dark Forest? She couldn't trust him with her life.

This wasn't the only thing making Dovepaw feel like dung. She imagined worst thoughts, her sister hated her, her clan mates thought she was a traitor! Half the cats in ShadowClan wanted her out. No no no no no –

"Chamomile and Lavender."

Both cats turned to see the ShadowClan deputy, Russetfur sitting in the entrance to the den. The sun shone on her red pelt.

"Russetfur I—Flametail began looking panicked but he cut himself short and began to gather the herbs she listed.

Dovepaw was surprised when the deputy pressed forward to sniff at her nose. She scoffed and glanced at Flametail. "Add bits of marigold to the mix." She ordered.

Flametail nodded and hastily brought Dovepaw the herbs and warm, almost hot wet moss. She guessed it was the good moss from the Medicine cat's log.

"Eat the herbs slowly and suck the water from the moss." Russetfur pressed on her back with her forepaw.

Dovepaw obeyed, the scents from the mixture were calming. They drowned out all the other senses. After a few moments, she let out a soft sigh of relief. The herbs were helping and they tasted good enough. She felt exhaustion overtake her.

Russetfur took her paw off Dovepaw's back and turned to Flametail. "You should be more attentive with your patients." She scolded. The tom flattened his ears in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry…" Dovepaw meowed gently, her eyes burned a bit. You're such a mouse!

"Not your fault." Flametail admitted. "I was pushing things that I shouldn't" Russetfur twitched an ear but didn't ask.

"It's okay." Dovepaw meowed, accepting the unspoken apology. "I've…it's actually never gotten this bad before."

"You've betrayed your birthplace and must accomplish trials to stay in your new clan, a clan in which most of the members hate you." The red furred she-cat reminded Dovepaw. "This was bound to happen."

She let out groan of despair.

"I find it helps to list the problems." Russetfur meowed knowledgably. "That way you know what you're dealing with."

"But there's so many."

"This was your choice." Russetfur's eyes flashed in anger. "Now you face the consequences."

Flametail had apologized to her profusely and told her that he was just worried for his brother. Dovepaw didn't blame him and after Russetfur left looking for Littlecloud she had pressed Flametail for questions.

Maybe she really didn't know Tigerheart but she could begin to try.

"What is he like usually?" She asked him quietly, still recovering from what Flametail had referred to as a panic attack. Her tail curled at her side, she felt embarrassed. No wonder Ivypaw thought she was so weak.

"Passionate, once he's into something he really dedicates himself to it." Flametail meowed. "But it makes him stubborn and sometimes he won't listen to reason."

She listened carefully as he listed most of Tigerheart's traits. Flametail mentioned that he was also very playful and liked to pretend that nothing was wrong.

She thanked Flametail for his help and quieted him when he tried to apologize again.

She needed to talk to Tigerheart. She hadn't asked Flametail if his brother was in the Dark Forest because she felt that it was something she needed to ask herself. She needed to see the look in his eyes when he answered.

Her stomach churned. What would she do if Tigerheart was a Dark Forest warrior? Could he and her sister really be betraying their clan every night?

She shook her head trying to clear the thought. She found Tigerheart near the apprentice den, he was listening eagerly as Ferretpaw told him a story. She approached them wearily.

"The frog just slid right across the bank." Ferretpaw couched down. "So, I just leapt at it and crushed it in one swipe!"

"Very good!" Tigerheart meowed. "You'll have to show me your hunting skills…" His voice drifted as he spotted Dovepaw approaching. His eyes brightened.

"Tigerheart, Ferretpaw." She greeted formally. She ignored the look of hurt in Tigerheart's eyes and stared confidently at him. "Can I speak with you in private?"

Ferretpaw growled. "Whatever you want to tell Tigerheart you can—hey!" His den mate Starlingpaw nipped his scruff.

"Let them talk." He muttered, Ferretpaw flashed him a look of anger but Starlingpaw didn't flinch. "Or I'll tell Pinepaw about the things you mutter in your sleep."

Ferretpaw squeaked and rushed into the den. Starlingpaw flashed Tigerheart and Dovepaw a curt look before joining the springy apprentice.

Dovepaw wondered why Starlingpaw had decided to help her and decided to thank the ginger tom later.

Tigerheart sighed. "Starlingpaw speaks too much like a warrior. What's up Dovepaw?" He purred.

"Is there a place we can talk in private?" She asked trying to sound urgent.

He nodded and with his tail high in the air led her to a secluded spot outside of the camp. "There's plenty of hidden spots like this." Tigerheart explained to her. "I brought you to the prettiest."

Dovepaw looked around, this was indeed a very beautiful spot. Tall lavender grew and a stream ran through the place. She knew that when the moon was high that it would make everything look like a dream. She sighed wishing she could enjoy this with Tigerheart.

Tigerheart noticed and nudged her. "You look down."

This is it

She looked up to face his amber eyes. They were almost enchanting, Dovepaw thought about just forgetting what Flametail said and just enjoying the moment. She stiffened. "Tigerheart," She began. "Do you think we're being serious with each other?"

His smile dropped. "Y-you want to be serious?" He stammered.

She frowned. "When I'm a warrior, I want to have a mate and kits Tigerheart I—

"Let's not talk about that now." Tigerheart laughed uneasily. "Come on Dovepaw let's play a game!"

She blinked, feeling annoyed. "Tigerheart I'm being serious."

"We can catch frogs in the stream."

"Tigerheart."

"Or wait till the moon's up and—

"Tigerheart!" Her hackles were raised now. "I want you to listen to me!"

He turned to her looking down trodden. "Dovepaw…why are you thinking about this now? Everything was okay before."

"Before we only caught glimpses at each other at gatherings and snuck away to meet in secret." She protested. "Now that we don't have to do that anymore I want to talk about us."

He took a step back. "I—us is good now. We're fine now. Something must have made you think differently."

She felt stung. "Olivenose was talking about trust and love going paw in paw, then Flametail showed me how we didn't really know each other."

Suddenly Tigerheart curled his lip. "Flametail! What does he know? He's a medicine cat! We went on a journey together!"

"With six other cats…"

"So?"

Dovepaw growled and her mind wandered back to what Flametail had told her.

"You've spent fun nights with each other, sure. But you've never had him upset with you and you've never been upset with him. What if he did something really bad?"

"I'm not saying we shouldn't be like we use to but now that I'm in ShadowClan I can—we can get to know each other better." She explained, a soft breeze blew at her fur, ruffling it.

Tigerheart turned away. "All I'm hearing is that you don't trust me."

Dovepaw came closer. "Tigerheart, trust is important..."

"Don't lecture me about trust!" He snapped.

She flinched then hissed. "You spend every night in the Dark Forest! How can I trust you!"

Before she could take the words back his eyes widened in shock and his fur bristled. "H-how do…" he glanced down. "I see it's not just my brother and Olivenose, it's your sister saying things about me too!"

Dovepaw felt a twinge of fear. What if Tigerheart suddenly decided to attack her? "I won't tell." She promised. "But you need to stop."

Tigerheart looked horrified and took a few steps back. "I-I can't…Dovepaw you don't understand." He turned and ran.

Dovepaw felt a cold hollowness once he was gone. "Tigerheart!" She called out. She tried to chase after him calling his name like a howling dog. Her paws weren't used to the ragged territory and she found herself unable to use her senses to find him. Why did they betray her now? She eventually dropped to her feet and allowed her whimpers to take over her body. She felt tears falling onto her muzzle and let out a cry of anguish.

Stupid stupid stupid. Why did I think this was going to be easy.

"It's not fair." She choked. I joined ShadowClan for him.

No. She joined ShadowClan to save them and it was her clan now too. She stood up and wiped her face. She needed to stop being such a mouse. She needed to be strong if she was going to pass all the trials of becoming a ShadowClan warrior. She needed to be strong if she was going to protect this clan from whatever danger was coming.

The breeze dried the rest of the stream trailing down her muzzle. She walked over to the water and groomed herself until she was presentable. She looked at the she-cat that stared back at her. She needed to reinvent herself.

"No more tears."

Yay you're at the end.

One of the major changes in this story is changing who Blackstar's littermate is. Since this story doesn't take Yellowfang's Secret into account Flintfang and Fernshade aren't related to Blackstar but Snowbird is.

Think of this story as taking place in an alternate universe with changes. Just like how Marvel had the main 616 universe and a million other universes at the same time. We'll call this universe the Shadow Doveverse.

Dovepaw is very prone to anxiety and her senses overflooding her and leaving her without control. In the main series the Three are gifted with their powers but they never really practise with it or see how far they can go… (Dovewing stretching her senses all the way to the Dark Forest was unexpected. Assuming that the Dark Forest is another realm does that mean her senses are beyond earth? Can she see StarClan too? She can see beyond the grave but they never mention it again.)

To me Flametail is a straight to it sort of guy. He's a lot more blunt and cynical compared to sweet old Littlecloud but deep inside he's just a stressed-out cat who needs to relax. He didn't mean to trigger Dovepaw but he accidently did. As for Russetfur popping up and knowing the exact herbs to calm panic attacks, that's a story for another day.

Tigerheart and Dovepaw…admittedly I once shipped it before I stopped shipping things in general (things got hostile on Tumblr not with me in it but watching how upset and obsessed people were over their ships really deterred me from shipping like I use to.) I really thought the Erins were gonna connect to ShadowClan through their relationship but they then they had one giant fight and it ended so bitterly. To me it's because Dove and Tiger never got a chance to expand their relationship because of how limited their meetings were.

Dove/Tiger is a possibility in this story but at the same time it's not, it all depends how things play out. Eventually I might just let you guys decide through a poll.

Double Bless,

XxSelfossObsidianXx