Save yourself

From a life full of lies and a heart full of pain and sorrow

Save yourself

From the choices I make because nothing, but failure follows me

Save yourself

Save Yourself by My Darkest Days

Chapter 10

Dovepaw was reeled back to reality as soon as she realized that Ivypaw was the one attacking the ShadowClan camp. Her breath quickened but her anxiety soon turned to anger.

How could she do this?

She needed to convince Blackstar to return home before Ivypaw could do something that she might regret.

She raced past a group of apprentices who eyed her oddly. She ran into Brambleclaw, the ThunderClan deputy sitting among the roots of the Great Oak with Ashfoot and Reedwhisker, the WindClan and RiverClan deputy. They looked to be guarding the entrance to the Great Oak.

"I need to speak with Blackstar!" She demanded.

Brambleclaw studied her panicked form and shook his head. "Dovepaw, you can't change your decision as soon as the first sign of trouble comes."

"What? No, I have something important to tell him!" Dovepaw almost yowled, slightly offended that Brambleclaw thought she was considering changing her decision.

"The leaders are meeting now." Ashfoot told her gently. "They'll be out in a moment."

Dovepaw hissed and Reedwhisker pushed her away. She couldn't just sit around and wait for the deputies to let her in. This might be a life or death situation!

"You don't understand!" She protested.

Brambleclaw fixed her with a stern look. "Dovepaw you are an apprentice. Do as you're told."

"Has living with ShadowClan made you mannerless?" Reedwhisker growled.

"But—

"No." The black tom curled his lip.

Dovepaw flattened her ears and pretended to look defeated. Searching for an answer she realized that there were four possible ways to get into the Great Oak. Usually all four entrances were guarded but with Russetfur being ill, only three of the entrances were protected. If I could just get to the ShadowClan side.

She backed off and meowed an apology, the deputies nodded and eventually took their eyes off her. Darting around sneakily she prayed that she picked up something from Rowanclaw's lessons. Thank StarClan the Great Oak was wide otherwise the deputies might have seen her. She peered in through one of the holes in the hollow tree. She saw all four leaders sitting and discussing with each other.

"I meant what I said at the last gathering." Firestar was saying. "The WindClan border has not been crossed Onestar."

Onestar was glaring at him. "You're lucky I made no mention of this Firestar."

The flame coloured leader curled his lip. "There is no evidence. You'd only bring shame to WindClan."

"Shame?" Onestar snarled but before he could continue Mistystar stepped between him and Firestar. Dovepaw spotted Blackstar with his tail wrapped around his feet, he seemed entertained by the tension between WindClan and ThunderClan.

"Then it's concluded." Mistystar meowed wrapping her tail around her paws. "Any other concerns?"

"Blackstar." Dovepaw whispered as quietly as possible.

"Did anyone else hear that?" Onestar sharply turned. "A whisper?"

"It's a gathering." Blackstar answered him. "Things are bound to get loud."

"Our deputies won't allow any cat to get in." Firestar reassured but Dovepaw noticed that the ThunderClan leader's ears were perked up.

"Blackstar." Dovepaw hissed again, the flick of an ear confirmed that the leader had heard her whisper. She noticed that his body had stiffened as well.

The white tom drew a deep breath. "We might as well end this meeting if there are no other concerns."

"Agreed." Firestar meowed, he avoided Onestar's glare and turned to Mistystar. "It's nice to catch up during these brief moments."

Mistystar gave him a warm smile. "Until we all meet again. May StarClan light our paths and give us the strength to lead our clans."

Dovepaw kept to the shadows as the leaders exited the Great Oak one by one meeting with their deputies and drawing their attention away from the tree. Her eyes searched for Blackstar but she suddenly felt a massive weight against her side and her muzzle was locked shut.

"You better have a good reason for almost disgracing ShadowClan."

"Mmmmgff" Came her muffled reply.

Blackstar let her go and she gasped in relief. She shook her ruffled coat and faced her leader. He wore an expression which Dovepaw could only describe as irritation. Ignoring the slight fear in her belly she faced him with her head high.

"ShadowClan is being attacked."

A look of surprise fell over the leader's face. "How do you—

"Please Blackstar!" Dovepaw pleaded. "I-I can hear cats being hurt and the camp is unguarded and I don't—I can't explain how I know but if you have any trust in me you'll take us back home as soon as possible."

Blackstar paused, he stared at the moonlit sky. "The moon is full; no clan cat would dare attack us tonight."

"We are also foxleaps no—horsefields from the camp." Blackstar added. "Even if by some miracle you can hear our clanmates being attacked I can't afford to make ShadowClan look weak to the other clans."

"No! Blackstar you must— "

His eyes darkened. "It's not your place to tell me what I must do." With a deep sigh, he turned to the side as if considering some unforeseen options.

She stood up straighter staring him straight in the eyes. "If I'm wrong…then I will leave Shadow—

"No need to make promises like that. I find keeping you here a bit interesting" His whiskers twitched. "Let me tell you what you're going to do."

Feeling her breath come back Dovepaw stood straighter ready to hear her leader's orders.

"Find Rowanclaw and take enough warriors with you to face a patrol. Tell him I sense a threat and make no mention of you hearing anything further than a hare's leap." He told her quietly. "This gathering should move along quickly and the rest of us shall join you."

"Thank you." She breathed.

"If what you're saying is true. We'll need to discus how it was possible that you heard all this." Blackstar meowed.

Dovepaw dipped her head respectfully but felt a tremor run through her spine. How am I ever going to explain myself without giving away my powers?

Rowanclaw had believed her as soon as she gave him Blackstar's orders. He brought Scorchfur, Dawnpelt, Applefur, Olivenose together and instructed them to silently disperse into the shadows.

"Keep your breath silent." Rowanclaw told her gently. "Remember these attackers think they have the upper paw and that we have no idea about the attack."

Dovepaw obeyed and tried to follow her mentor's steps. He paced quickly but stealthily through the soft ground as did the other warriors.

"I can't believe it." She heard Scorchfur's breath. "On the night of the gathering, these must be rouges."

Dovepaw flinched. She prayed that no other ThunderClan warrior had been stupid enough to follow Ivypaw to the ShadowClan camp.

"They must be idiots." Applefur growled. "Don't they know we're ShadowClan warriors? Fighting at night is one of our best skills."

Olivenose nudged Scorchfur with her head as they moved. "I'm sure the cats at camp have given them a scratch or two already." Her yellow eyes met the back of Rowanclaw's tail.

The leader of their patrol was silent and Dovepaw realized he must be worried about their clanmates. Russetfur was ill and many other cats were following suit. Before she left for the gathering she had heard Kinkfur coughing. The camp was weak.

Dawnpelt kept close to her father. "We need to be careful."

Stop

Rowanclaw had signalled with his tail and crouched low the ground, the patrol followed suit and Dovepaw copied their actions. They were close enough to hear snarling and the sound of claws hitting bodies. The cries of battle were familiar to Dovepaw.

You too Mousewhisker?

She recognized the eager tom's yowls of victory. This meant that other ThunderClan cats had followed Ivypaw.

"We need to do something." She crawled up to her mentor. A wave of ThunderClan scent hit her nose.

"Stick close to me." He whispered to her. "The rest of you enter camp silently, make sure the kits and elders are okay, get a count of how many warriors are there and then defend our camp."

Applefur raised her head alarmed and stared at Rowanclaw. "Warriors? I knew I smelled ThunderClan but I thought they had more honour than this."

"That doesn't matter right now." Rowanclaw meowed sternly.

The warriors nodded and dispersed but Dovepaw heard Scorchfur mutter to Dawnpelt. "It's probably her fault."

Rowanclaw stood up. "We're walking right through the entrance."

Confused Dovepaw shot him a glance. "Is that how ShadowClan attacks?"

"I haven't trained you well enough for that yet. You'll have to rely on previous skill." He meowed.

Rowanclaw entered the thorny tunnel, Dovepaw followed quickly behind. She let out a gasp once she saw the camp.

Mousewhisker tussled with Pinepaw as Ferretpaw clawed at his back. Her former clanmate let out a snarl of anger and threw Pinepaw to the side. "Tell me!"

"Get out!" The black she-cat hissed and threw herself back onto Mousewhisker's head.

She saw Foxleap cornered by Tigerheart. The broad tabby exchanged hefty blows with the red tom. Foxleap let out a hiss of pain and Dovepaw felt a twinge of pain for him. She knew Tigerheart wouldn't hesitate to use his darker skills on her…friend?

Her stomach twisted, and she froze as Rowanclaw moved forward. Could she attack Foxleap or Mousewhisker?

Blossomfall fought with Oakfur. She had the lithe tom pinned underneath her and was hissing something to him.

"What do I do?" She whispered to herself.

Rowanclaw turned on her eyes blazing. He curled his lip and for a second Dovepaw was afraid that he would attack her. "Protect your clanmates!"

But which ones?

A piercing screech brought her back to her senses. Rowanclaw was gone, he had leapt to defend the apprentices. Pinepaw was laying on her side curled slightly.

The sound of fear hadn't come from her. Her eyes fell to the nursery and her paws were unfrozen by hot rage. Who in StarClan's name would attack kits?

Racing down she heard yowls of outrage, Applefur had appeared and was aiding Oakfur. Olivenose was chasing Rosepetal while Scorchfur nipped at her heels.

She entered the nursery. To her horror Kinkfur was puffed up facing off against Bumblestripe. The grey tom wasn't attacking them but all Dovepaw saw were the kits mewling in fear. Sparrowkit stood in front his sisters hissing slightly but shaking, Dewkit huddled beside Mistkit who was wailing her head off.

"How could you!" With a yowl Dovepaw leapt at Bumblestripe.

"Dove—

She collided with him roughly and hit his cheek with her claws drawing blood. Surprised and dazed he looked up at her.

"How could you attack defenseless kits?" She accused.

"Attack…" His eyes widened. "No no no we were looking for you Dovepaw! I searched everywhere, the medicine cat's den, the elders-

"You scared everyone." She hissed. "Leave now!"

His eyes narrowed. "Leave? We've come to rescue you."

"From what?" Dovepaw growled at her friend, anger growing deeper.

"ShadowClan!" He growled.

Dovepaw took a step forward. Had this been half a moon ago maybe she would have thought it sweet that her friends came to her rescue but now it only proved one thing. They think you're an idiot who needs saving.

"I'm a ShadowClan cat now!" She retorted. Please don't make me hurt you

"Leave us!" Kinkfur snarled.

Bumblestripe was silent and then anger lit his usually friendly face. "I can't believe this. We thought…we thought you were being tortured, every night we trained and trained to rescue you but..."

"Bumblestripe—" She began.

"Thornclaw was right!" His hackles raised. "You're a dirty no good traitor."

"Bumblestripe, please go." She pleaded. "We're friends we don't have to fight."

"You're worse than these maggotpelts." He continued sneering. "And you know why? Because you chose to ally yourself against your clan, your kin, against Ivypaw for no reason at all!"

"Shut up!" Dovepaw's tone fell once she notice the kits whimper. "For StarClan's sake Bumblestripe…I'm sorry."

"You didn't even say goodbye!" He chocked. "I thought…I thought I knew you."

Dovepaw's tone darkened. "You couldn't have known me as well you think. I have a lot of secrets."

He almost laughed, the blood from his cheek was dripping and Dovepaw felt guilty "So, you're just like them now." His tail lashed aggressively.

She could scent and feel Smokefoot and Crowfrost flanking her. The gathering patrol must be back. She felt unbridled rage from Smokefoot even though his eyes betrayed nothing.

"Surrender!" Crowfrost hissed. "There's no way you can win now."

Bumblestripe hung his head as the white and black warrior escorted him from the den. Dovepaw lingered. Smokefoot walked over to his family and Kinkfur pressed into his dark coat, their kits squished happily in between them.

The sight made Dovepaw happy and sad at the same time. She had broken bonds with so many ThunderClan cats now, Birchfall, Bumblestripe, Ivypaw…she wondered how many more cats would end up hating her for her decision.

Blossomfall and Bumblestripe were held by Crowfrost and Tawnypelt. The two warriors prevented them from moving further.

The rest of the cats according to Bumblestripe had escaped into the forest. The littermates refused to look at Dovepaw and as she neared them Blossomfall bared her teeth and wrapped herself around her littermate.

"Traitor." She spat. Bumblestripe said nothing and neither did Dovepaw. It was the truth after all, she was a traitor, she had betrayed her oath to ThunderClan and had taken a new one with the darkest warriors in the forest. It was almost funny, both she and Ivypaw were training with dark warriors now.

"I'm going to find the rest." Tigerheart was coming down from the medicine cats den with Flametail by his side. The tabby's front legs were covered with splashes of blood. Is that Foxleap's blood?

"I'm coming." Dovepaw declared. "It's me that they want. They have to know that I'm not coming back to them. It'll make the fight easier."

Tigerheart grunted but said nothing.

"I'll come too." Snowbird meowed beside Dovepaw. "Three of us to catch three of them."

"Blackstar's taken a patrol into the forest with Owlclaw and Toadfoot." Crowfrost told them. The six of you should be enough to track these warriors down."

"I can't believe this." Tawnypelt was meowing. "Firestar couldn't have authorized this."

"Who knows?" Crowfrost uttered darkly. "Maybe he's changed."

Dovepaw leapt into a run before Tigerheart or Snowbird. The warriors caught up with her quickly with Tigerheart shooting her a look. Dovepaw didn't care, her only thought was to reach Ivypaw before Blackstar did.

"Stop!" Snowbird halted. "I smell badger."

"That scent is long dead." Tigerheart argued. "We need to keep up"

Dovepaw took a big sniff. The badger was definitely still around. As she thanked her senses for working she saw the badger pushing a bone around in darkness. I have no idea where it is, It's so dark here. A little whilst off around a huge tree with thick roots she saw Russetfur cornering her sister. Fear gripped at her, neither of them realized how close the lumbering beast was, any moment one of them could be badger food.

"We need to go towards a thick tree with huge roots." She tried to describe the area. "Um maybe with a couple logs near by…"

Tigerheart cocked his head in surprise. "Why?"

"Because I think one of the attackers is my sister and…and she likes to hide in places like those." She stuttered hoping they'd believe her.

"Gnarly is the only tree who…" Tigerheart trailed off when Snowbird gave him a look of surprise. He ducked his head down, Dovepaw imagined that his cheeks were burning as his tail fell between his legs.

"You named the tree you and your littermates use to play by?" Snowbird sounded amused.

He shook his head and began to dart in a certain direction. The two she-cats followed him and as they ran he explained. "Gnarly is…I mean the Gnarled Pine had the largest roots in ShadowClan, it has plenty of hiding spots too, lots of logs and dips beside it."

"You use to play hide and seek there." Snowbird teased as they came to a stop.

"Shut up." He mumbled.

Dovepaw twitched an ear but her senses would stretch no further. She growled in frustration but stopped as she spotted the ShadowClan deputy in one of the dips. Her nose was still wet signalling her sickness. Dovepaw was surprised that she had managed to make it this far without stopping.

By herself, Russetfur had Hazeltail cowering but Ivypaw refused to waiver. The apprentice snarled and swiped at the deputy occasionally looking around as if expecting something to happen.

"Ivypaw!" She called.

Her sister looked up, Ivypaw pushed past Russetfur and looked up. "Dovepaw you've escaped!" She sounded joyful but…her voice carried a strange edge to it one that made Dovepaw shiver.

"Let's get out of here!" She yowled.

Snowbird bared her teeth. "Stay down apprentice. You're coming to our camp."

Ivypaw laughed. "Not going to happen. My sister and I are leaving."

Russetfur growled and approached the silver and white she-cat. "You're not going anywhere."

Ivypaw snorted. "Get away from me you old foxheart! You kidnapped my sister, you tortured her."

"What?" Tigerheart glanced down. "Is that why they attacked? They think we're torturing you?"

Dovepaw leapt down into the pit. "Ivypaw listen to me, I wasn't taken you know that. I told you I was going to leave."

Ivypaw's face fell. "T-that was just a joke, a stupid joke. Come on Dovepaw let's go." She stepped forward towards her sister.

Dovepaw took a step back. "I was serious. Please Ivypaw just come back to camp— "

"You're my sister!" Ivypaw curled her lip. "You promised me! You promised me that you'd always be my sister!"

"I still am!" Dovepaw argued. "Me joining ShadowClan is good for both of us, we don't have to compete anymore."

"I don't care about that!"

"Yes, you do!" Dovepaw growled. "I know you Ivypaw. Even if I did come back you'd always have to compete with me."

"I have special skills too." Ivypaw hissed "Don't put yourself on a pedestal. You're an apprentice, just like me!"

"Ivypaw relax." Tigerheart had leapt down to stand beside Dovepaw.

Ivypaw's eyes filled with rage when she spotted the tabby and with a screech she threw herself at Tigerheart. Even though the tom was much larger Ivypaw hit him so roughly that he fell with a thud. Dovepaw watched in horror as her sister began pummeling her clanmate's stomach.

"Ivypaw stop!" Dovepaw moved to aid Tigerheart but with a kick she was thrown aside.

Tigerheart threw Ivypaw off him and rolled onto his feet. He faced her with a snarl. "You're being irrational!"

"This is your fault!" Ivypaw retorted. "I'm going to rip out your throat!" With that she threw herself back at him.

Snowbird was about to crouch down to leap and help her clanmate but the ground below her cracked. Every cat froze for a second and turned to see what had make the splitting sound. Snowbird looked down in horror as the earth below her made a rumbling sound.

With a thundering roar, a badger broke out from beneath the ground where Snowbird had been standing. The white she-cat disappeared into the dirt and rock with a terrified yowl. Before any cat could react, the mud-covered beast charged into Tigerheart and Ivypaw.

"No!" Dovepaw screeched but her cries did nothing to lessen the impact the badger made as it bashed its head into the brown tabby. Ivypaw had leapt out of the way just in time and was watching in horror.

Why didn't I hear it?

She tried to move forward as it opened huge jaws over Tigerheart but Ivypaw crashed into her.

"No!" She hissed. "Let's grab Hazeltail and leave."

Anger flashed in Dovepaw's eyes and she growled at her sister. "What is wrong with you? I'm staying and helping my clanmates." She pushed past her shocked littermate and launched herself at the badger's hind leg. She sank her teeth and claws deep into its flesh.

It let out a snarl of pain and whipped away from Tigerheart to snap at her. Fearing for her life she rolled away. The badger advanced on her, drool fell from its lips and as it raised a paw to crash down on her head she froze in fear. Suddenly a red blur landed on the badger's back.

Russetfur

"Run for help!" The deputy's voice was hoarse but commanding. Her body moved wildly as the badger leapt and shook. The red furred she-cat snarled and dug her teeth into it's thick scruff.

Tigerheart stood up shaking his coat and rushed to help his clanmate but let out a whimper of pain. Dovepaw realized that his back legs were covered in blood and prevented him from getting any further. The badger suddenly stood and then collapsed onto its back.

The sickening crush of bone echoed in Dovepaw's ears like thunder and as she looked around herself she realized the chaos of the situation.

No

Tigerheart lay on the ground looking ruffled and dazed, blood was dripping from his nose and lips. Snowbird had disappeared into the ground when the badger erupted. As the badger stood up it shook its coat as if it had just crushed a mouse. Russetfur lay lying limp behind it, her blood began to pool around her. It was complete chaos.

"Dovepaw. We can't fight that thing. We need help." She turned to see Hazeltail standing shakily. The grey and white she-cat turned to Ivypaw. "We need to find some cat, any cat before it decides to kill us too."

Ivypaw was silently hunched in the corner her head faced her paws and her ears lay flat against her head.

"Ivypaw?" Hazeltail meowed. "We need—

Dovepaw sighed and turned away from her sister. "She's not going to help Hazeltail…" Her voice trailed off as the badger's snarl broke her thoughts.

The black and white creature was dragging Russetfur's broken body across the ground with its teeth sunk into her shoulders as if she were fresh kill.

Her fur bristled "Hey!" She called to it. "Leave her alone!"

The creature raised its head and snorted as if it were challenging her to step forward. I'll kill you it seemed to be communicating.

Starclan help us! Dovepaw's ears perked up. She could hear shallow breathes being taken. Russetfur's still alive! Shakily she stepped away from Hazeltail and her sister, she stepped past Tigerheart who gave her a confused look.

"What are you doing?" Hazeltail growled. "We can't mess with it."

Without turning her head, she meowed. "Go get help, I think…there's a patrol coming." This was the most concentrated she'd ever been. She could hear the sound of approaching cats and she prayed it was the gathering patrol. Her steady gaze met the badger's beady eyes. It was hard to focus on the patrol and the badger at the same time. She couldn't allow her focus to be deterred so she blocked out the patrol to focus on the animal that could snap her neck in a single swipe.

"Dovepaw what are you doing?" Tigerheart breathed, he tried to move forward but his injured leg held him down.

"Shush." She murmured and stepped closer to the creature. "Come and get me you piece of dung." She let out a yowl and kicked dirt into the creature's eyes.

The badger roared and dropped its prize and with a single leap was on Dovepaw's tail, she let out a fearful screech but kept running.

"Dovepaw get to Gnarly—augh! I mean the Gnarled Pine!" Tigerheart screeched at her. "Trap it under the roots!"

Dovepaw let a squeak of understanding and searched for the thick roots of the old tree. She spotted it across from her sister. "Ivypaw move and go help Russetfur!"

Her sister moved but made no attempt to get to the deputy, instead she retreated into the cover of the foliage.

"Ivypaw!" Dovepaw hissed. "Stop being so stubborn."

"I hope they all die for what they've done." Ivypaw's tone was chilling. She turned her head away from the madness. "I won't help. This is all your fault Dovepaw!"

Dovepaw could only gasp at her sister's coldness, she tripped over a root but before she could be caught by the onslaught of teeth she felt teeth grab her scruff and push her aside. With the other cat, she tumbled down into the covering of bramble thorns. Ignoring the prickles of pain, she looked to see who her savior was.

"Let's chase it together." Rosepetal was meowing encouragingly. By her side was Foxleap, the tom looked ashamed and haunted.

"I'm so sorry! I thought we were doing the right thing." His fur was ruffled and his flank covered in scratches. "You help Russetfur, Rosepetal and I will chase it into the roots."

Dovepaw nodded gratefully. The two warriors told her to wait a few moments after they left and then they leapt out from underneath the thorny covering with battle cries. Dovepaw waited a few moments before darting to where the bleeding warrior lay.

Her feet instantly felt the wetness of her blood and she tried to push back the feeling of panic. She bowed her head down to check for breath, it was small and sounded faded but it was there. "Don't worry Russetfur." She promised. "Help is on the way."

No response. Gulping she looked for anything to help, she spotted cobweb spread across one of the lower branches of a tree. Gingerly she grasped for it and brought it down to cover the wounds of the older warrior. I-I don't know where the wounds are…there's so much blood.

"Let me help." A gentle voice called to her. The senior ShadowClan medicine cat Littlecloud was approaching with a bundle of herbs. "Your grey and white friend caught me just as I was looking for everyone. She's bringing help."

"I don't know where she's bleeding from!" Dovepaw exclaimed, feeling utterly useless. "And Tigerheart is hurt and Snowbird disappeared and my sister won't help and my former clanmates attacked the camp and now they're trying to trap the badger…this is all my fault!"

"Move aside now, let me work. Those ThunderClan warriors are doing well with the badger. If you want to help bring these herbs to Tigerheart and then look for Snowbird." His voice was soothing and calmed Dovepaw's nerves.

"I'm so sorry." She breathed. "This is all my fault."

Headcannon

You know how the clan leaders always seem to disappear after they finish announcing things at a gathering but arrive just in time to close it? I like to think that while the other cats are mingling with each other that the leaders are meeting to discuss possible alliances and topics that can't be mentioned in front of the warriors.

So, I decided to make the Great Oak a hollow tree with four entrances. This is where the leaders meet to discuss.

It's also really hard to come up with measurements for cats who don't use miles or yards. A worm's length is really short about an inch or two, a mousestep is a few centimetres, a Foxleap is about 2 metres, a Horsefield is about a Kilometre. I like to think the clan territories are a lot bigger too and that it would take 2-6 hours to explore the entire territory even if you knew the area.

EDIT: Turns out these cats do know how to use units of measurements cause I was just reading the third arc and Lionpaw apparently knows what inches are.

I'm giving the cats a little more knowledge too, I assume they have basic counting skills and can recognize basic shapes. I mean after all these are cats who are organized enough to form a society and a religion.

Double Bless-

XxSelfossObsidianxX

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