6

Gem is sleeping and I can't bear to leave her for a minute but I know I must, moving from Jack's office across to the conference room where they are waiting for me.

"OK. I am not sure where to start so I will just begin at the point of importance and when I am finished you can ask questions, yes?" I settle against the wall, wanting to stand, feeling the need to run but swallowing it down, "Cariad, I know your questions will be the hardest so please keep them for last, some of the others might explain enough?"

Jack nods and I swallow as I consider my first move.

"I was taken during a night excursion. I was walking home from the library, totally immersed in my own thoughts when I found myself in the hold of a ship. I knew I was in trouble and played it dumb for a long as I could but they started killing some of the others they had taken" I could see Owen making notes and continued. "I had to say something, if only to let them know I understood what they were saying. I begged for the life of a woman who was with child, they had not realised and were curious. They almost killed her in their examinations and I had to speak, to save her and the child."

Gwen looks in the direction of Jack's office and I know what she is thinking, "No. Not that one. This is my child. They took my DNA and put it in a special machine, added a dash of something to make it female and then placed the embryo back in me. They did not understand that we do not make babies that way, their kind do not have a single sex. Male and female both able to reproduce. They watched, prodded and enjoyed, even my pain and discomfort interested them. When she was of a good size they cut her from me. They made a mess and I almost died, they did not understand that I was of a different anatomy but they did their best."

I pause and reach for the glass of water Tosh is offering, her smile soft and as our fingers brush I seek, finding nothing but understanding and compassion. I hide my relief as I nod my thanks and take a deep gulp, then continue, "They were alarmed when they found that we grow so slowly, that we live so long. They expected her to grow and we would mate, create another one to play with, like pets. Discovering that she will take years to be of breeding age was a disappointment, then they wondered what would happen if they bred her to someone else. I became angry and I stood up to them, I asked for them to let her be. I guess they thought I was too possessive so they sent me back. Alone."

Now I need a minute, turning to face the wall as I struggle with the emotions and when I turn back it is Jack who stands beside me, shielding me from them as I struggle. "Sorry."

"No" Jack is stern, yet his hand on my wrist is gentle, his thumb rubbing softly, "Finish your story love."

The term of endearment almost kills me, my poor weak heart flopping as I pull myself together.

"I went to the only place I could think of, Torchwood. Of course Yvonne saw me as a wonderful gain" I pause and consider my words, Jack's hand tightening on my wrist slightly, "Lisa was my handler. My …well. My watcher. I did love her, in a fashion. She knew my file inside out, she also knew about Gem. I also knew Yvonne was still communicating with Mervig and my baby was long gone but alive as her pet. I accepted my lot, I gave up the things I had lost and I moved forward. That's what we do, have to do. Move forward. I let her go."

"And now you have her back" Gwen is trying to chew through something an I wonder what it is, unable to ask but she tells me as she always does, "She's not human then? I mean, if she has other bits in her?"

I don't know if it was my flinch or Jack's that warned her but she rises with her hands out to apologise, "No, no I didn't mean it like that, sorry. I don't mean she is less or …I just…she is different."

"We are all different" Jack's voice is calm but his hand is a vice on my wrist as he sends calming waves, not realising how finely tuned I am, his anger and hurt raw as her words insult the other alien in the room.

"My daughter has a touch of another species in her called Bladesinger, or Windy-Woos as we sometimes called them" I finally say, regaining Jack's attention as he stares at me, the question thrumming between us and I cannot help but smile, "Yes Cariad. The warrior race with the singing blades. Quite the mix. Then again, we are all a little different these days."

"Only one heart" Jack asks and I nod, then know that is not truthful so I shake my head.

"They damaged it, the second one" my hand goes to my side without thinking, "when they grew her, it cost me that secondary heart. I only have one working for now."

"For now" Jack repeats as he nods, understanding that a regeneration could do anything, cause anything.

"I might not survive" I whisper, "A regen might kill me. I can't run as fast these days."

Jack laughs as he pulls me close, his body warmth soothing.

"So, when Lisa died, when we killed her we killed the final link to your child" Tosh finally understands my despair that day, the concern for me showing on her face, "no wonder your heart broke."

"He has two?" Gwen says for no other reason than to fill the space with her voice and I feel Jack stiffen against me, his anger filing my mouth like blood.

"Hush" I whisper, "Enough secrets for one day Cariad."

He looks into my face and nods, letting his own secrets settle once more.

After all …

I still have one more.