I Will Always Find You
«Taiora»
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Chapter 4
"I Swear"
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"Whoa, breathe!" Chef Mimi rushed over to Koushiro giving sharp slaps on his back as he struggled to drink oxygen to the point of choking on his own saliva.
Where the hell was he? What in holy hell happened? The last Koushiro remembered, he held his wife in his arms as Chicanemon swallowed them whole - Mimi!
Koushiro finally caught his breath and swung around tightly embracing her. He remembered everything! He wasn't Koushiro Izumi. He wasn't a workaholic stay-at-home programmer solving mysteriously broken codes that never seemed to end for a job that could care less that he needed a lunch or bathroom break; his computer desk was where he slept, ate and worked. He wasn't Taichi's - No! - Tai's cranky and crazy next door neighbor any time his friend was making his daily vlogs.
No.
He was Izzy Izumi, a digidestined that was once the owner of the Crest of Knowledge. He owned his own computer firm with his friend and business partner, Yolie Ichijouji, and although he'd lose track of the time drinking his oolong tea, he'd still take care of himself; far from a workaholic. Married life with Mimi was the best thing he ever did. She brought life and happiness to his world, reminding him there was more to life than a computer screen. She was that missing puzzle piece, the excitement he always craved, but struggled to experience, unless there was a battle in the digital world to be fought.
And just now he managed to break free from his 'reset' again due to his subconscious playing the events of the war they were fighting in his dreams as a nightmare. He must've dozed off yet again in front of his computer.
He had to compose himself! As much as he wanted to wake his wife from her living nightmare, if he wanted to avoid being reset, like last time when he tried to help 'Taichi', he had to release his wife from this hug, fight the urge to tell her the truth, and find some rational explanation for his reaction before Mimi voiced her concern out loud for Chicanemon to hear. It was too much of a risk to wake her with the commotion he created and verbally speaking one's thoughts weren't safe.
"You're scaring me. Koushiro?" Chef Mimi pushed herself away taking a few steps back.
Izzy blushed struggling to come up with an explanation. He never liked lying to her, but if he really needed a way to release himself from the guilt: Mentally, she was 'Chef Mimi', not Mimi Izumi.
"Uh, sorry. I realize that was out of character for me. I…was scared choking on my saliva and was grateful you saved me," he stammered out an explanation.
Chef Mimi weakly smiled taking note of his off behavior. Usually, he'd yell at any little thing and here he was apologizing instead. She wrung her hands, "Well, I couldn't leave you to die on me and I am employed to take care of you."
"Yes, well…"
What could he say to distract her? He knew where all of their digimon friends were being held captive and he had to reach them!
The first two times he was reset, Izzy took a quick break from work as 'Koushiro' to clear his head walking in the woods behind his backyard from thinking of a solution for this unsolvable, broken code. Taking a walk in the woods behind his backyard, he stumbled on finding all of their digimon friends locked behind a barred, metal cage in the woods behind his house. Seeing them was what helped him break free each time - which resulted in Izzy flickering into a reset as Koushiro once more, and finding himself sitting back in front of his computer trying to solve the unsolvable code again with no recollection of the previous events.
The third time, his subconscious replayed the battle as a nightmare while taking a nap, much like what happened just now, and he came to as Izzy again. He heard 'Taichi' recording his usual vlog and Izzy tried to stay in pattern with Koushiro's personality, but also attempted to jog Taichi's memory. Chicanemon caught on and reset Izzy.
He couldn't let that happen again.
He needed to bring food to help them digivolve when it was time. What was Chef Mimi's weakness? She cooked. Day and night, she cooked with barely any time to sleep, always thinking whatever was presented to Koushiro wasn't good enough and needed improvement. Always at the grocery store for ingredients. Always pressuring herself to come up with new ideas only to realize someone else already came up with the same recipe on an online food blog. She was her own worst critic. This was her personal circle of hell.
That's it! He'd have to demand more food!
Izzy pushed the guilt aside from how he was about to treat his wife - It was for the better good of everyone that he'd stay in character as Koushiro until he found some answers. He hoped she'd forgive him later.
"What the hell is your problem? I already apologized for scaring you. If you want a trophy, go look somewhere else!" He stood to his feet gathering a legal sized notepad and pencil. "Eraser…eraser," he muttered with feigned annoyance. "Cheese on a cracker with all that is holy!" He smacked the container that held all his pens, pencils and highlighters to the floor. "Has anyone seen the God-forsaken eraser!"
Chef Mimi rolled her eyes heading back to the kitchen to work on her pie crust. "Aaaand, he's back. That was short-lived."
"Nobody cares about your side comments!" Izzy lashed back, internally wincing.
Hugging the legal sized notepad and pencil to his side, he shoved Chef Mimi aside as he passed her in the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door.
Grabbing a few plastic containers of food, he slammed the fridge door shut, and stormed out the back door all the while saying, "I need a break! I need to clear my head so I can go back to writing code. I don't know when I'll be back, so, just…I don't know! Keep cooking whatever the hell you're cooking. I want a crap-tastic feast by the time I get home!"
Normally, Chef Mimi wouldn't stand for this disrespect. She dedicated her life's work to bring honor to her title as chef and no grumpy recluse would ever get passed her thick skin to make her feel lower than dirt. This would be the moment her employer would feel her wrath, but he demanded a feast. A feast! She had to rush to the grocery store again! What spices would blend well together with the meat pie she was baking? What sides would make his taste buds tingle with joy?
"Don't come back too soon!" she grabbed her purse rushing out the front door excited. "I'll make you the best feast yet!"
Izzy let out a long sigh mentally shaking off 'Koushiro's' character. He knew once Mimi came to, she'd understand why he did what he did, but he couldn't help feel the urge that after this was all over to book them a vacation to get away for a while. He needed to hold his wife and feel her support. The sooner this war was over, the sooner he could be in her arms again.
The sun was setting after a long day. Hidden not too far off in the woods behind his backyard, Izzy sat next to the barred metal cage, the ground covered in wet leaves and twigs, writing his questions on the notepad while all of the digimon scarfed down the food he brought in the plastic containers. They didn't need much convincing to stay quiet as he wrote his questions:
Do any of you know where our digivices are?
They stopped eating and hopped to the back end of the cage shifting leaves aside. Each one grabbed their partner's digivice in their mouth and turned back to Izzy. Izzy silently sucked air in with relief. They had them! He wanted to ask how they managed to do so, but there were more important things to figure out.
How long have we all been stuck here?
Pabumon grabbed the pencil with his mouth that Izzy held out and wrote the answer:
5 days
He took back his pencil and ask the next question that had been nagging him:
How many others broke out of the curse?
The digimon looked to each other blinking, not knowing the answer. That must mean that Izzy was the only one to find them. Izzy grimaced. This wasn't good. How was he going to do this by himself? The crystal! He wrote the next question out:
What happened with the crystal? Did the others find it? Was it in the cave?
Botamon and Nyokimon whimpered. Botamon was the one to write his message:
Tai and Sora made it to the cave, but we don't know what happened after that. Chicanemon captured us before we could see if they found it.
"Gah!" Izzy held a wrist to his forehead frustrated.
The crystal was the key in resetting Chicanemon's DNA and it was looking like only Tai and Sora knew the answer.
As Izzy wrote his next question out, he heard footsteps coming from behind. His eyes widened and instantly stood to his feet hiding the notepad behind his back. He was prepared with a backup story in case this scenario would occur and even wrote a random computer code on the front page of his notepad to back it up, but he may have been in luck. There stood Hikari, or Kari, (he'd have to figure out which) with a cardboard box, her line of sight switching between the digimon in the cage and Izzy struggling on how to react. YukimiBotamon was jumping up and down with excitement trying her best to stay quiet.
Izzy hurried to write his question on the notepad and then held the pencil out to her so she could respond back:
Hikari or Kari?
Kari's lower lip quivered as she jogged to Izzy dropping the box to the ground and hugged him tight doing her best to muffle her sobs. It was Kari! He wasn't the only one that broke free! Izzy held her back tight feeling relief and happiness wash over him. There was hope after all! Hopefully, she could shed some light to his questions.
Kari knelt down to YukimiBotamon sniffing away her tears as she gave her a kiss on the head. To the rest, she scratched their heads as her greeting. Kari then stood, took the notepad and pencil and wrote to Izzy:
As of now, Tai's the only other one that's free. We need to help the others.
She walked back to her box, and turned back around to Izzy holding out the Tentomon figurine, speaking in a normal tone.
"Good evening, Koushiro! I made these little monster figurines out of clay in class today. There's one that looks like a robot that I think you'll like. Want it?" She winked at Pabumon as she asked her question.
Sora caught her bedroom wall with both hands taking rapid breaths, lowering her head, as memories flashed before her eyes. It was happening again. Her mind was deceiving her once more with false memories of a war with a monster. Dr. Kido said regardless that her friends were in her dreams, the false war with these false memories was her brain trying to make sense of the past trauma she experienced. But this time it felt so real. Too real. Where were her pills? Didn't she take her required dose earlier that day?
She dropped to her knees, desperately gasping for air. Her body couldn't drink enough oxygen. She must've forgotten to take her anti-anxiety medication when the whole fiasco of Taichi trying to meet her with Yamato and Takeru coming to her rescue. She was having another one of her panic attacks. She needed her pills to calm her. Crawling on her hands and knees to her nightstand, she named objects in her head as she saw them to try to distract her brain:
Shoes…comforter…rug…window…
It wasn't working. Trembling fingertips grazed the plastic container, accidently tipping the bottle over, causing the pills to spill to the ground. It felt as doom was squeezing every inch of her lungs. Sweat was forming on her forehead and her heartbeat raced. Not again! This couldn't be happening again! She just needed one pill! One frigging pill.
Pick one up, you stupid idiot! You're so worthless that you can't even pick up a pill to swallow it! Oh my God, I'm gonna die. I…can't…breathe!
Pounding sounded on her bedroom window. Renewed strength raced through Sora's arms pushing her up from the ground and her breathing quicken even more. It was Taichi! He was yelling for her to open the latch! She pushed her back flush with her nightstand shaking her head crying. Yamato and Takeru weren't here to save her again. Why wouldn't he leave her alone? Why couldn't he see he was torturing her of the past, every day and night? The pill! She needed the pill to be reset again. She needed her daily reset, or these panic attacks would increase.
Her neighbor pressed his hands and nose on her window begging her to open the latch. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he actually appeared concerned about her. With shaky hands, she grasped one pill and slowly brought it to her lips, but it was Taichi's reaction that stopped her cold in her tracks.
"I swear, Sora, if you don't open this window, I'm gonna break it. Don't take that and open the goddamn window!"
This man was crazy! She needed to call Yamato again. Quickly, she swallowed the pill dry. Everything after that happened in a blur:
Smashing glass. Sora jumped over her twin bed. Foreign arms wrapped around her stomach from the back. Slaps, kicks, arms again, punch-punch-punch! Hallway. Race towards next closest room. Quickened footsteps from behind. Cell phone on hallway bathroom counter. Smack! Cellphone on floor. Arms around her stomach from the back again. An inward thrust to her stomach. Dry heave. Another inward thrust. Vomit. Another inward thrust. So much vomit. Dizzy. Can't breathe! Spinning room. Taichi's voice booming. Need oxygen!
Black.
Sora's eyes fluttered open. She was in bed, lying on top of the covers. Her brain felt foggy. What just happened? Her mouth had the taste of vomit - Vomit? She looked to her bedroom window to find the bottom window pane smashed.
Shit! It wasn't a dream. That really happened! She tried sitting up fast to search for any kind of object to defend herself in case he was still in her house. Blackness washed before her eyes from sitting up fast.
"Whoa, whoa, not too fast!"
It was him! He was still here! As her vision slowly came back, she tried to fight her way out of his grasp. "Get out of my house! Get out! Get out!"
Taichi quickly backed away with his hands up in surrender. Quite ironically, his day started out in a surrender and it was ending in a surrender. "Let's just take a second here to recap, okay? I know this is all confusing, and this looks bad on my part again -"
"You think!" she yelled. "I'm on the second floor! That means you climbed the tree to jump onto my balcony to stalk me-"
"I'm not stalking you!"
There was that word again! First Joe, or Dr. Kido as Sora knew him by, and now Sora. Did that mean that everyone else on this block thought Tai was a stalker? Why else would Yamato and Takeru stop him?
She pointed to the direction of her front door downstairs. "A normal person knocks on the door." Then pointed to her window. "Stalkers climb trees and smash windows!"
"I had to stop you from taking that pill!"
"Which you wouldn't have known about if someone wasn't stalking me!"
"I bet you don't even know what that pill does to you! That isn't you. You don't need meds."
Sora glanced to the hallway and back to Taichi. This guy thought he knew what she needed? "…I'm going to call Yamato, and this time you're not going to stop me."
This wasn't his Sora. This was 'reset' Sora. Perhaps a different approach was needed. Tai sighed pinching his eyes. "Hold on. Just…Hold on. Let's make a deal. Can we do that? Five minutes."
"And then what?" she shook her head.
"Can we start over? Tell me why you're so scared of me. What did I ever do to you?"
She scoffed while scratching an itch on her nose. "You're kidding, right?"
"I wish I was," he shrugged, desperate to hear her answer.
Sora eyed her neighbor scrupulously. Her heart pounded rapidly against her chest, but it wasn't from another panic attack. No. This time it was her gut, and it was saying that he was being truthful. This guy had no idea. That was hard to believe, but he really didn't. Everyone knew why. Why didn't he? She swung her legs over her bed, sitting tall. Was it worth it?
Taking in a deep breath, she stood to her feet. "Five minutes. Fix my window and I'll give you five minutes, Taichi. But, I swear to Chicanemon, if I sense for a second that you're lying about anything, I have Yamato on speed dial, and he'll be the one kicking your ass after I'm done with you."
Tai let out a nervous chuckle looking at the broken shards of glass on the bedroom carpet. "Fix the window? Like, right now fix the window?"
She raised a brow placing a hand on her hip. "Seriously? You're a newbie at channeling your desires?"
"Uh, I guess…It can't be that hard…" he walked over to the shards trailing off his sentence scratching his head.
Sora sighed. "Taichi," she walked behind him. "It's okay if you've never done it before. I bet it's always happened to you, but you're always so busy with your internet stardom that you've never noticed. Am I right?"
Tai meekly nodded.
She rolled her eyes. That wasn't convincing. "Desire 101: Imagine what you want done, close your eyes, and send your desire to Lord Chicanemon. He's always in the air we breathe, the song we sing. His power flows through us and always wants the best for us. But we need to acknowledge his existence before he answers those desires."
"Uh, right," Tai agreed swallowing the lump growing in his throat. "Acknowledge. Desires. Eyes closed."
"Fine. You don't really need to close your eyes," she mentioned rolling her eyes, and waved to her window. "It helps me concentrate when I do it. Now, come on. It's getting chilly."
Tai closed his eyes, scrunching his brows, and spoke to the air. His statement came out like a question. "I, uh, I really want to fix Sora's window. Could you fix it?" He opened one eye seeing the window still shattered. "Please?"
The window and shards flickered. Tai gasped, stepping back, while Sora shook her head at his reaction. She headed downstairs to grab two shot glasses and several bottles of alcohol. This guy may prove to bring an interesting close to her night. She was good in holding her alcohol and could match wits with the best of them. Here's hoping he wasn't, and if he really prove to have alternative motives, she'd have an easier time handling him if he was drunk.
The two sat on her bedroom balcony, near the wooden railing enjoying the cool, fall night air. Her window was fix like brand new. The portable fire pit was lit and they downed a shot.
Refilling their shot glasses, Sora said, "Your five minutes start now."
Tai looked down to his drink. He twisted the shot glass near the bottom against the table surface they sat next to, with two fingers back and forth. "Let's play a game. Tit for tad. I say something about me, and you tell me something about you."
She frowned looking to her phone for the time.
"I'll go first," Tai offered. "I did knock on your front door. Twice. The first time, Yamato and Takeru wouldn't let me in, like they were your bodyguards. Then this time again, no one answered. I saw your bedroom light on, and, yeah, I climbed the tree and…"
Yeah, he could see where she thought he was a stalker now. He gulped his shot and defended his actions. "Okay, but it was a good thing I did! I'm watching you have some kind of heart attack or something and who knows how many pills you took!"
"You really can't be that dumb," she poured him another drink. "The pills are scattered on the ground, and instead of thinking I dropped the pills I must need to take, you think I'm overdosing?"
"I don't know! I panicked! You're on the floor breathing heavy and your face was white as a ghost and sweaty."
"Which means you force the heimlich maneuver to get me to throw up?"
"If it meant saving your life, I'd do it again!" He downed another shot slamming the glass on the table.
"Oookay, there," she eyed him. "Strong words for not knowing me." She let out a sharp breath and mentioned an earlier comment that Tai said as it came to mind since they were on the subject. "And, anyway, I don't really need the meds? What do you know? What makes you think you know best?"
"Wouldn't you?" Tai challenged her, choosing only to acknowledge her first statement. Answering the second may cause a 'reset', a risk he wasn't willing to do just yet. "If you came across someone needing help, wouldn't you help them?"
She glanced away. He really did resemble him. That intense stare was too much to take in. "And what about this morning?"
"Nope," he shook his head. "Tit for tad. I said my tit. What's your tad?"
Rolling her eyes, she shook her head trying to think of something to say. "I guess…Those pills are to control my panic attacks. You invading my house didn't help the situation." She downed her drink.
Tai refilled her glass. "Why do you get panic attacks? Is it triggered from a main event, or is it in general?"
Sora fell silent. Eyes downcast, her thoughts went back to her nightmares. They felt so real. If it wasn't for reading "The Forbidden Red String of Fate", she'd still be thinking she was trapped in an alternate universe. That was a bullshit notion and she was worthless. She had to keep reminding herself of this to keep herself grounded.
But he sounded just like this one friend who died before she could confess that she was in love with him. He looked just like him. Her other friends were in her dreams too, but it was something about Taichi that made her want to run into his arms and stay there whenever she had that dream, and that scared the living daylights out of her.
In the dream, he killed her cold-blooded. Every night, the nightmare replayed with her dying a different way, and the man she thought she was in love with, turned out to be a serial killer.
"I had a bad experience that my mind still can't process, and it covers it up with nightmares."
Tai waited to hear more. She tried to squeeze something else out, but her throat closed. She took another shot instead.
"Move on," she slammed her glass on the table. "Why were you hanging on my tree this morning? You were the one who changed my cherry blossom tree into an oak tree, weren't you?"
He chuckled refilling her glass, "I wish I could take credit for that, but I'm the one that didn't know I could ask Lord…" Tai mentally cringed at what he almost said. "Uh, didn't know I could ask for desires to come true before this evening, remember? Whoever did that, it's a great tree to climb."
She eyed the tree. She had to admit, the branches were thick and low enough to the ground - Every kid's dream for the perfect climb. There was even something so regal and enchanting, like…
"Like a southern fairy tale - Which don't exist." She hurried to say out loud. She couldn't regress. Romance was for the weak.
"Don't exist?" Tai looked to the tree slouching in his chair confused.
What was she talking about? He remembered catching a glimpse of what she was reading earlier with it mentioning that romance didn't exist and was worthless. This stupid monster was torturing her any way he could!
"Realistically, a man's not going to answer every woman's beck and call, swooning after her, like some fairy tales portray because he has a life too. Maybe he'd want his girl to be an independent thinker instead of thinking she's helpless. Maybe he's the one that wants to be saved instead of always being the savior. But one thing I know for sure is that fairy tales and gentlemen do exist."
He swigged his shot, stood to his feet, and held his hand out to her. "Let's go," he motioned to the tree.
Sora looked down to the hand Tai held out. "You got all of that out of 'Fairy tales don't exist'?"
Tai motioned with his hand again and a small smile crept outward. "Let me show you what a true gentleman is. I'll help you climb that tree." The light from the fire pit danced on his face bringing a warm glow. "I can sense you've been dying to climb it since we sat here."
Biting her lower lip, she slowly reached her hand out to his. Before their hands touched, she swiftly took hers away pointing a finger at him and commanded, "I swear, if you try anything-"
"You'll kick my ass," he looked up at the starry sky saying word for word what he knew she'd say. "Yeah, you've made that clear."
"And then I'll call Yamato-"
"Can we climb the tree, please?" he chuckled with a side of annoyance.
Giving in to her desire, she snatched one of the bottles of alcohol that laid on the table, and openly wished for one of the higher branches to stretch to the railing. After this, she crossed the railing to the tree branch with ease. "Watch an independent woman at work. I'll make it look easy for you."
Tai placed a hand in his left pocket feeling for the two figurines of Agumon and Biyomon to make sure they were safe and sound. He then took his baggie of crushed chocolate chip cookies out of his right pocket, and gripped the rim of the baggie with his teeth, following her, as his famous lop-sided grin appeared.
"A woman after my own heart!"