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Caffeine became Illumi's life blood. He chugged coffee and tea and energy drinks to make it through the night. Killua mumbled something about Illumi being a vampire when he got up to get Alluka a drink of water one night and found Illumi sitting on his couch reading the paper.

Mother called the second day. "Illumi!" she sobbed. "I was worried—when you didn't answer your phone I thought that you must have—that it would have—oh, Illumi—how is Killua?"

"I apologize," Illumi stated, twisting his hands on his lap. His work computer blinked at him. Canary insisted it was fine for him to take several days off from the office. "I was tired. It will not happen again."

"Good." She heaved a sigh. "How are they all doing?"

"They miss you," Illumi reported. "And I may have something on Ging Freecss soon." From what he'd uncovered, Freecss had a son, but the son lived with relatives. Except it didn't appear that way anymore, if Gon's presence in the city was anything to go by. All he would have to do was call the police to check up with Gon Freecss' aunt.

"Wonderful." His mother's voice caught. "Do they really miss me?"

"Mmhm." At least they had to. Illumi's mind felt fuzzy, like he couldn't put concepts together. But it couldn't be going without sleep. His parents would deny him sleep when he was younger if he hadn't properly finished all of his schoolwork. Even nowadays, Illumi wouldn't leave the office until all his work was complete. And taking care of his siblings was work now. He couldn't rest until he knew they were all safe.

The third day, Illumi's skull felt as if an axe was repeatedly slamming into it, splitting the bone apart into fragments. His hand throbbed, his neck felt like pins and needles were stuck in the back, and his stomach churned at the thought of any food. Killua still hadn't attempted to run away just yet. But he still looked frustrated.

"What on earth were you even doing there at the gala?" Killua asked him begrudgingly.

"I was there with Hisoka," Illumi stated. "Looking for you." He pressed his lips together. "And I suppose you won't tell me where you went?"

Killua's lips twitched as if he might smile, and Illumi remembered the times he used to swing Killua up because it made him laugh. Father told him the sound was too much and he should only make Killua fly when he'd done something to earn it. But it couldn't be for the simplest tasks. The tasks got harder and harder.

"No, but I was planning to come back," Killua told him.

Illumi nodded. Of course. Killua did love him.

"What happened to your hand, or should I ask?"

"My hand?" Illumi held it up and blinked. Oh right. He'd cut it. He shook his head, as if that might shake the fog out his ears. "Milluki's shattered plate."

"He should do something himself for once," said Killua.

"He does," Illumi insisted. "Just—from the house." His eyes caught something on Killua's elbow. "Did someone hit you? Did you get in a fight?"

Killua withdrew his elbow. "It's not a concern."

"Because if you want me to take care of—"

"Are you insane?" Killua shouted, balling his fists. "It was just a scuffle! Good grief, Illumi, you are either a psychopath or—"

"Psychopaths can't love, and it's antisocial personality—"

"Killua?" Alluka appeared in the doorway, hanging onto the beam. "Can you help me with my maths?"

Killua's face dissolved into a smile. "Of course."

They left.

The fourth day, an energy drink of questionable legality bubbling and frothing in Illumi's stomach, Milluki informed Illumi that Killua hadn't actually completed any schoolwork since coming here and Mother was upset with him and with Illumi's scattered answers to her calls.

Illumi gritted his teeth. Someone knocked on the door and he yanked it open.

"Hey," said Hisoka. "The door's actually locked for once."

"I'm making sure he doesn't run away again." Illumi stepped outside, closing the door behind him. The sun felt nice. Sweet. Like a dream. Illumi closed his eyes and snapped them open, swaying on his feet.

"Hm." Hisoka leaned back in his heels, surveying Illumi. "You're either drunker than I've ever been or, perhaps, you legitimately haven't slept since I last saw you," Hisoka remarked, rubbing his chin. The sun glinted against his gelled hair. It looked stupid. Illumi didn't like it. Why did Hisoka want to look like there was a flaming volcano on his skull?

"I told you," said Illumi. "I'm fine without sleep. Three days is nothing."

Hisoka burst into laughter. "It's been four."

Obviously. "I know. This is new territory, but—"

"Maybe your brother just—"

Illumi grabbed the rail to stay on his feet. "Killua's not doing his schoolwork."

"Well, did you tell him to? Because if you did I guarantee you that's why he isn't. It's not fun to always obey." Hisoka grinned.

Illumi winced. The sun felt like it was searing his eyes now. Minutes ago it was soft and gentle like a kitten and now it was a burning beast gouging out his eyes. Illumi rubbed them. Stupid bulging orbs. "Why are you here? Is there something I can help you with?"

"I was going to discuss Chrollo Lucilfer and ask if you wanted to go to the gym and spar, but I'm not sure if you're still in this dimension."

"I can't leave my siblings," lllumi replied.

"I wouldn't wrestle you anyways in this state. You'd die. While I'd love to fight a zombie someday you're hardly an exciting sort of zombie."

"Try me." Illumi scowled.

"That'd be like kicking a puppy with a broken leg—or a broken mind."

"Hey," Illumi said. "That's simply—unfair—"

Hisoka reached out to pat him on the head. Illumi grabbed his wrist, twisting it. Hisoka rolled his eyes, and then with a flash of orange and white, Illumi found his other arm twisted behind his back. Illumi bit his cheek to keep from vomiting. He glared at Hisoka. "Let go."

"I don't feel like it."

"If you don't I'm going to vomit all over your shoes."

Hisoka chuckled behind him. "Incorrect, Illumi, you'd vomit over your own shoes."

"Hisoka—"

He released him. Illumi stumbled, glaring. He rubbed his temples and frowned up at the house.

Several dark shadows lurked in Alluka's room, behind the curtains. Killua, Alluka, and—definitely not Kalluto or Milluki. "Someone's in there!"

"Huh?"

Illumi fumbled with the door. He throw it open and charged up the stairs. Kalluto almost dropped his phone. "What's wrong?"

Illumi slammed open Alluka's door. She screamed. She and Killua sat on her rug, laptop in front of them as Killua worked on homework. "Who was just here?"

"No one," said Killua. "Illumi, you don't look well."

Ahh. Killua was worried about him. Illumi wiped sweat from his brow. "I just saw five people in this room. From outside."

"Did you see anyone?" Killua asked Hisoka, who appeared behind him.

"No," said Hisoka.

"I know what I saw," Illumi insisted.

"I'm not sure you do," said Killua. "Also I'm trying to do work. Can you please leave?'

"You haven't done work since coming here."

"Well, I'm doing it now."

"Why can't he just be honest with me?" Illumi ranted the moment he shut the door behind them.

Hisoka slid his eyes in Illumi's direction. "Would you care? Don't you have to lie for your job? If Killua takes over the family business—"

"But not to me." Illumi staggered into the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"At this point I don't trust you to make it without poison. Have fun dying." Hisoka left. At least Illumi thought so. He could only taste the coffee, burned, and hear Alluka and Killua laughing.

On day five, Illumi jolts into alertness on the couch. He wasn't asleep. Not really. His eyes were open. But he doesn't really know if he was thinking or doing anything. His lungs felt heavy, as if weights were attached to them.

A ghostlike figure drifted down the stairs, and down towards the basement. Illumi turned his head. That felt exhausting. His spine felt like something had nailed the vertebrae together.

Alluka shrieked.

Sleepwalking! Illumi leapt to his feet. "Killua," he called.

But when he got to the basement, he just found Alluka leaning over the couch and watching whatever bloody shoot-em-up video game Milluki was playing. "Why do you stay down here?" Alluka asked.

"Yeah?" Killua staggered in there, blinking and rubbing his eyes.

"She's not supposed to be—"

"Yes, she is," Killua stated. "I'm not letting Alluka be a prisoner ever again."

Alluka ignored them. "But why do you stay down here when you don't have to?"

Milluki glanced back at her. "Because I want to?"

"Why?" She kicked her legs up.

"Because I like my games, and you're getting in the way."

"You're playing it wrong." Alluka reached for the remote. "You should go left there."

Killua smiled. Illumi's brow furrowed.

"What would you even know?" scoffed Milluki.

"She's smart," said Killua quietly.

Milluki went left down a deserted hallway. "See? A dead end—oh." His eyes widened.

Alluka plopped down next to him. She beamed up at him. Killua knelt next to them.

Illumi didn't understand. Alluka didn't seem crazy. But she'd been diagnosed. She was sick. She had hurt people. Okay, so Illumi had put her in situations to see how angry she would get, what she was capable of, if they could still save her. It wasn't worth it, his parents concluded. They didn't want to save her. Because of Illumi deliberately provoking Alluka and seeing her lash out. But the butler was okay. He lived. And his parents had made up their minds before Illumi ever orchestrated anything.

It wasn't his fault. He had to protect the family. Illumi rubbed his brow. His father approved. He told him it was good. He was good. Right?

Illumi staggered up the stairs and ran into a figure standing in the entryway. "Please tell me I'm not insane."

"Your eyes are more scarlet than the Kurtas," replied Hisoka. "I don't know. What makes you feel like you're sane?"

"How did you get in?" Illumi marched over to make more coffee.

"I let him in," said Kalluto's bored voice from his room. He slammed the door.

Illumi scowled. He reached up for the coffee and cussed.

Hisoka was just laughing. Of course he was. The sound reverberated in his skull, bouncing off the walls, off the bones, off each neuron. The walls of the kitchen looked like they were compressing the window. Illumi rubbed his temples. Am I sane? Am I insane?

He spotted something on the door and frowned. "Thanks for buying a lock."

"Huh?" Hisoka pulled out his phone.

"You bought a lock," said Illumi. At least none of his brothers would have bought one. "The door." He pointed at the large brass lock clearly visible on the door.

Hisoka couldn't stop laughing.

"What is it?" Illumi asked. "Is it a fake?"

"It doesn't exist, Illumi. You've actually cracked."

"I have not. I have not slept." Illumi squinted, trying to get the lock to disappear. It seemed to only grow larger. He turned to Hisoka, whose phone was still aimed at him. "What are you doing?"

"Streaming," answered Hisoka.

"But why? And what?"

"You, because you're hallucinating," Hisoka answered.

"I don't understand."

"I don't think you understand that 2+2=5 right now."

"I at least know that."

"Really, because it equals four."

Illumi glared. "I don't appreciate being made a fool of."

"Then there's a simple solution," said Hisoka, still streaming. His phone was starting to resemble a lock too. Maybe he'd gotten a new phone case. "Sleep."

"I can't. I have to protect my siblings. I don't mind sacrificing my body or my mind for them." Illumi reached for his coffee. Except he'd forgotten to put a filter in it. The boiling, frothy brew tasted like death. He spat it out.

Hisoka put his phone down, still laughing. Kalluto stood in the doorway, eyes wide as if he was afraid.

"What's wrong, Kalluto?" Illumi asked him.

"You are," Hisoka said. He cussed and reached for Illumi. "You need to sleep."

"I can't, and do not touch me."

"You have no coordination right now, so good luck." Hisoka grabbed him when Illumi lunged. His fingers pressed into Illumi's forearms, and then he threw Illumi over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Illumi bellowed. He flailed. But a wave of nausea rose up. Illumi scrunched up his face, tensing all his muscles to keep from vomiting.

Hisoka tossed him onto something soft. His bed, made perfectly. As always. "Sleep."

Illumi punched him in the jaw. Hisoka cussed. "What was that about coordination?" He should push himself up on his elbows. He should get up. But the mattress was so soft. He bought a temperpedic one when he got it. Just to ensure he got his maximum rest to be at his best at work. It was his one indulgence.

Hisoka rubbed his chin. "Shut up; you'll embarrass yourself."

"I have to—" Illumi rolled over. The nausea slammed into him again. He bit down on the edge of his pillow.

"I'll make sure they don't go anywhere."

"I trust you about as much as I trust Judas." Illumi's eyes struggled to stay open. The muscles hurt. He exhaled.

When he woke, it was still dark. Illumi jolted upright. The room spun. He grabbed his hair, collecting it in his fist. He blinked. A figure crouched in the open doorway. "Why are you still here?"

Hisoka turned around. He cocked his head. "Oh, are you awake?"

"What time is it?" Illumi fumbled for his phone. He frowned. Had he left it downstairs? "Is Killua—"

"He's still here," said Hisoka. "He had his friends over. Hope you don't mind."

"He doesn't have friends," Illumi replied. The response came automatic, as if programmed into him. He staggered to his feet.

"You slept twelve hours," Hisoka said. "It's 4am."

"What's it to you if I die of sleep deprivation?" Illumi asked. "I would think I'd be more fun for you then."

"You're useless in a fight when you're like this," Hisoka retorted.

Illumi stalked out the door, sidestepping Hisoka. Alluka's door was closed, a light burning under it. Illumi contemplated ordering them to sleep, but Alluka was uncontrollable and he didn't feel like risking his liver at the moment—or really, risking Killua's fury if Alluka went berserk and he had to stop her.

Illumi made his way down the stairs, almost tripping over a sleeping form. "What are you doing here?"

Kalluto jolted awake, scrambling to his feet. He rubbed sleep out of his eyes. "Illumi?"

"Why are you sleeping on the stairs?"

"Killua and Alluka were playing a game," Kalluto said. He wrapped his arms around himself.

"You could go join," Hisoka said.

"No, I can't." Kalluto stuck his lower lip out. He followed Illumi into the kitchen. "I want to make him care about me again. It's like Alluka broke something in him and he doesn't care about the rest of us."

"He does," Illumi insisted. "He's just a little—delusional right now."

Kalluto swung himself up on one of the stools, resting his chin on his fists. "When are we going home, Illumi?"

"Soon," Illumi promised. Though he hadn't heard anything. He grabbed an orange and handed it to Kalluto. The first shred of dawn tore into the sky, leaving ridged lavender scars.

Kalluto heaved a sigh. He peeled the orange and stuffed some sections into his mouth. Hisoka took three. Kalluto glared at him and Hisoka shrugged like he didn't care.

"Did they get dinner?" Illumi asked.

"They had a luau and roasted Milluki," Hisoka answered.

"That's not funny. He's my brother." Illumi brewed more coffee. God, his head still pounded and pounded. He wanted to dig his fingers into his scalp and stop the incessant pulsations. He leaned back against the cabinets. "Kalluto, if you want to talk to Killua, you should."

"I don't want him to treat me like he treats you," said Kalluto. "Like he hates you."

Illumi blinked. He set the measuring spoon down with a clank. Hisoka covered his mouth. "He does not hate me. I raised him. He's my brother. He loves me more than anyone else in the world."

"He loves Alluka more," said Kalluto, spitting out a seed. "And he always looks like he's been sentenced to hard labor when he has to spend a moment with you. In fact, sometimes he looks like you're a zombie from one of Alluka's nightmares."

His words shredded Illumi's skin. He flexed his injured hand, feeling the healing cuts stretch, some reopening. "Killua just needs to understand his priorities better. He's a Zoldyck. He's our brother."

Kalluto shrugged. A thump echoed upstairs. Kalluto frowned, peering up at the ceiling. "I'd give anything to have him back."

"Another nightmare, probably," said Illumi, pouring the coffee. "Do not worry, Kalluto."

Hisoka held out his hand for coffee.

"Make it yourself." Illumi smirked.

"What a difference sleep makes," Hisoka commented. "You'd be a drooling slave if I'd let you continue like that."

Kalluto let out a huff and jumped up, tossing his orange peel into the garbage. He pounded up the stairs.

"See?" Illumi asked Hisoka, blowing on the coffee. "Now they'll talk, and it'll—"

"Illumi!" screamed Kalluto.

Illumi charged up the stairs, taking it two at a time. "What?"

Kalluto pointed. Alluka sat up in bed, her hair mussed, yawning. Killua's blankets lay rumpled on the floor. And the window gaped at them, cool morning breeze wafting through and the screen pushed up, up, up.

"Illumi?" asked Hisoka. "Am I allowed to kill Killua?"

Illumi glared at Hisoka. Hisoka held his hands up in the air. "Okay, okay. I was kidding."

It was the influence of those people. That could be the only explanation. Illumi cursed. If only he hadn't fallen asleep. If only—

"Where did he go?" Kalluto cried to Alluka.

She yelped and dove under the blankets, curling up in a ball.

"I'll find him," said Illumi. "Milluki will watch you." He looked at Hisoka. "Get out."

Illumi thumped down the stairs and burst out the door. He checked his phone and texted Killua. Get back home now. Kalluto's yelling at Alluka. At the very least, that might work.

"Hey!" called a voice. Illumi turned. A girl—boy?—road a scooter down the street, flashing him with a wide grin. Their headphones looked like cat ears, and they wore knee pads. "Are you looking for your brother?"

Illumi stiffened. "Who are you?"

The kid hopped off their scooter, coming closer. "I was told to give you this."

"How do you know Killua?"

"I don't," sang the kid. "Just who he is. And who you are." They laughed, and then something sharp plunged into Illumi's side.

Illumi reacted on instinct. He send his elbow into the kid's throat, knee into their hip. The kid yelped and scrambled at him, crimson flecking their face. Something warm ran down Illumi's side. What the fuck?

Have I been stabbed? Me?

"Hey!" shouted a voice.