Chapter 15: Anger

Almost instantly I regretted showing Jacob anything. His face contorted in undeniable rage. His body shook with so much force I was sure he was about to explode. He was fighting to remain in control and he was losing.

He was seriously starting to scare me and the kids. There was no telling what would happen if he wolfed out right then and there.

"Jacob," I said his name hoping to get his attention. When that didn't work I grabbed his arm and showed him how much I needed him to be calm. How much I needed his comfort right now. I knew it was working when his shaking lessened and the anger seemed to be leaving his face.

"Jacob please,"

"I'm sorry Ness,"

"It's my fault," I said. "I shouldn't have shown you anything,"

"No," he shook his head in disagreement. "I'm the only one who didn't see what happened to you that night. Hearing about it and seeing it are two completely different things. Seeing what those men did to you sickens me to my very core. The only reason that guy is still alive right now is because of you,"

"Jacob please I don't want to think about it anymore. Not for now at least. Please?" The memory of that night still had an affect on me at times.

"So what next?"

"Well we were going to go have lunch somewhere, remember? Even though I think it's ridiculous that you still want to eat after everything you ate for breakfast,"

"Nothing wrong with eating a lot," Little Rosalin chimes in.

"See? Even she agrees with me," Jacob laughed. I was just happy to see that Jacob was so much calmer now. Though who knew how much longer that would last. I was sure Jacob wouldn't forget accidentally meeting my rapist any time soon.

We stopped for cheeseburgers at In-N-Out. Jacob had never been to one before so I insisted that he try it out. He ordered about a half dozen more cheeseburgers after eating just one. How that boy can eat so much and not get fat was completely beyond my comprehension. Even my mother, whose habit of appearing out of nowhere never ceased to scare the shit out of me, had to comment on Jake's eating habits. When I relayed her comments to him he just rolled his eyes.

"So what do you want to do next Nessie? Haven't we run out of things to do?"

"Oh Jacob," I shook my head. "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob I am nowhere near done showing you around. Next we head to my favorite spot in the city. The library,"

"The library?" Jacob looked at me like he was questioning my sanity. "The library?"

"Um is there anything wrong with the library?"

"Just ignore him Ness," mom said. "Some people just don't understand the value of books and places like bookstores and libraries. I, for one, am very happy that you inherited my love of books,"

"The library sounds fun!" Owen shouted.

"I've never been there!" Rosalin added.

"Yeah we want to go to!"

I laughed. "Sorry Jake but you're outnumbered on this one. Library it is!"

"So what's the story with these kids anyway?" Jacob asked as we headed over to the library against his will.

"Yeah I'm curious about that as well," mom added. "Where did they come from?"

Their mom, her name was Grace, she was the only true friend that I ever did have here. We'd known each other since I first moved here when I was really little. Like me she was always picked on and bullied.

"Wait you were bullied?" Jacob asked. His anger beginning to return.

"Yes but that's not what I want to talk about," I hastily continued. "Anyway Grace and I were like sisters practically. We told each other everything. One day she told me that she was pregnant. She never told me who the father was. She was scared to tell her parents but I encouraged her to do it. I mean they were going to find out anyway," Just remembering how she was when she told me how her parents reacted made me sad. "They kicked her out as soon as she told them. She was homeless for the rest of her life after that. I did all I could to help her which wasn't much though honestly. I was there when she went into labor. Right after she gave birth to both of them she died. I promised her that I'd do the best I could to make sure her babies were okay. That's the story,"

My trip down memory lane left me with tears in my eyes. There were just too many parts of my past that were too painful to remember. Jacob seemed to sense this and he put a comforting arm around me.

"This is the library?" Jacob asked when he saw the deteriorating building. "It doesn't look very safe,"

"Oh Jacob it's fine,"

"Seriously this thing looks like it'll collapse right on top of you if an earthquake hits,"

"Oh Jacob I've spent many Saturdays in here and it's perfectly safe," No need to mention that I have, in fact, been inside this building when earthquakes have hit and said earthquakes is what caused the building to lose some stability and start deteriorating.

"Okay that's it Ness it's official we're not going on there!"

Oh damned it! I'd forgotten that Jacob had put his hand on my shoulder so I'd unwillingly showed him what I'd been thinking.

"Oh come on Jake it's my favorite place! Besides if anything happens you'd be able to rescue us all anyway," I pointed out.

"Okay fine," he said in defeat.

I wasn't sure how long we were in there but by the time we left it was dark outside. Even my mom was impressed at my ability to kill so much time in a library.

"I guess it's time to take you home now isn't it?"

"I guess so," I said even though I wasn't fully ready to go home. I wasn't really afraid of what my 'mother' would do so much as didn't want to go back period. I loved my new life so much more. I loved being with my real family so much more.

The house wasn't too far from the library. Right away I could tell that something was different. My mother's car wasn't in the driveway like it normally was.

The neighbor's dog started barking and scared the crap out of me. The kids right away hid behind Jacob.

"Don't worry it's just a dog," I heard Jacob say.

"Actually that dog once nearly took a chunk out of my arm," memories of the vicious Rottweiler mauling my arm still haunted me from time to time.

"You've been attacked by that dog before?"

"When I was younger yes. I was out in the yard when it somehow jumped the fence and started attacking me. Luckily the dog lost interest and an ambulance got to me in time and my arm was saved. I still got the scars,"

"Let's just get inside. Do you have keys?" I could tell Jacob's temper was beginning to flare up again. Was I crazy or did Jacob seemed to get really upset when I tell him about any past events that compromise my safety? I'm sure I'm just crazy.

As suspected no one was home when I walked in. There was a note on the dining room table from my mom saying that she'd left on a trip. She didn't even care that I'd just disappeared on her. She took advantage and went on a vacation. It shouldn't bother me but it still did. According to the note she'd be back in two days time.

"Your mom went on a vacation? You go missing and she goes on a vacation?"

"That sounds about right,"

"Unbelievable,"

"She was never my mom anyway," I said. "My real mom is the one who died giving birth to me. Did all she could so that I could live even if it costed her her life,"

Mom looked like she was about to cry when I said that. I wished more than ever that I could hug her.

The only good thing about having the house to myself was that Jacob and the kids could stay as well.

I made some frozen lasagna for dinner that night. Jacob and I watched some movies together. Before long Jacob and I went to bed. He had insisted on sleeping on the floor since the kids were using my mom's bed I would not allow it.

Since Jacob wouldn't let me sleep on the floor either we ended up sharing my bed. Something that made me beyond happy. Maybe I was just being really hormonal but I really wanted Jacob in every sense of the word. Emotionally I could say that I was already in love with Jacob. Now that I was here with him in bed alone I wanted him physically to.

He was already half naked so how hard could it be to get him completely undressed? Could I even? Did he even find me sexually appealing?

"Oh you are very appealing Nessie,"

Oh God don't tell me I didn't?!

"You did,"

Oh Lord I could just die right now. I could die a hundred times over.

"For the record Ness I want you the same way as well,"

"What?"

"To be with you. Emotionally, physically, intimately. I'm in love with you to,"

"You want me?" I blurted out. "You don't care if I'm dis-"

"I don't care if you're disabled or not Nessie. That doesn't lessen my love for you or how attracted I am to you,"

"I've never had sex before," I admitted. "I mean not willingly. Only sexual encounter I've had is the rape-"

"And I don't care about that Nessie. I really don't. Besides I'm still a virgin,"

"You are?" I had a hard time believing that a fine specimen like Jacob wouldn't have had that experience with another girl.

"Nope. Never. Hadn't met the right girl until now. Only if you're willing and ready though. I can wait if you're not,"

"No. I'm ready," I could hardly believe the words that had just left my mouth.

I had serious doubts in my ability to excite Jacob anyway. It scared me that I wouldn't live up to his expectations or that I would do something wrong.

Yet, somehow, as Jacob let me remove his shorts and boxers I could feel my anxiety melting away. I only felt better and more secure as he removed my layers of clothing.

It was beautiful. Blissful. It felt good. Having Jacob inside of me felt better than I could've ever imagined. The pleasure was ten times better that I would've ever guessed in my wildest imaginations.

I didn't know how long it was until we both climaxed and I didn't care. I just knew that I was blissfully happy.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me and we somehow fell asleep like that. It wasn't until I heard my window open in the middle of the night that I woke up.

I screamed when I someone in my room and then I realized it was my dad. His golden eyes taking in my appearance. Damn! Neither Jacob or I were dressed! Memories of us having sex flashed into my mind and my dad looked like he was about to murder us!

This was not going to be good.

Please Review