*bzzzt* *bzzzt*
"Hello…"
*bzzzt*
"We are he-"
*bzzzt* *bzzzt*
"To tell you about a wonderful oppor-"
*bzzzt*
A wombat suddenly appears on screen out of the gray static.
"My name is Dennis. Yes, I am a wombat. You know my name, not my story. However, there is a wonderful opportunity here. I am here to tell you about the Dennis Is Always Right Foundation, or DARF." Holy squawk he can talk. This is not okay.
"We at DARF want to use this foundation to benefit the stupid. See, a vast majority of people are stupid. You're stupid. However, as I am a wombat, I am immune to your stupidity, and can cure it. For a small donation of $0.69, I can begin the curing of the human race, transforming them into the intelligent beings they always could be. If everyone in the world donates 69 cents, we can raise over $5 trillion dollars in one month. Remember, not everyone is as smart as me, but you can help me make you smarter than you were before." What the heck is he going on about?
"All of us at DARF would like to say thank you, and we hope you donate now with this number: 1-800-382-5968, or 1-800-FU-"
*bzzzt*
"That number again, 1-800-382-5968, or 1-800-FUCKYOU. Thank y-"
*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt*
"Well that was weird," I said, turning off my TV, "I'm just gonna start prepping for Snowball."