Chapter 2: New Secrets
A couple days after the first day of summer the Pines Twins pretty much gotten over the death they witnessed. Sure, even the slightest of mention could put a shiver down their spines of one of first gruesome deaths they have seen but they have also seen a good number of messed up things last summer like the time Dipper and Pacifica fought the lumberjack ghost or the time they escaped from Mabel Land. Max, Nikki, and Neil also seemed to shrug off the death in two days' time. Though, Nikki did try to kill a wild deer the day after. Anyways the twins made themselves comfortable at the camp and met their fellow campers. There was Harrison, the kid who looked like Dipper when Bill possessed him. He was sorta like a magician but not a good one since half of his tricks were failures while he was trying to show Mabel his tricks. Oh, and Mabel had a quick crush on him that lasted for about two seconds until he proposed the old saw the lady in half trick. Then there was Nurf who was the bully the camp though he was one of the most honest people that the twins ever met. Dipper thinks it's because he is named after a toy-line of plastic guns that Nurf has to be a bully. He mainly went for the younger kids so the twins don't have to worry about him. After that there's Dolph, the sweet little boy of the camp. Except that he's German. The twins don't consider themselves racist of Germans even though they have Jewish history, but some of Dolph's favorite activities are panting, ranting on how he is becoming a great leader, and asking people of their religious histories... yeah, they're definitely staying away from that kid. Next there's Nerris, the fantasy girl of the camp with the Elf getup and everything. Heck, the first day her and Dipper met they bonded over Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons. Next there's Meredith, the cool girl of the camp like Wendy except not interesting or charismatic. She mostly ignored the twins with her headphone on while they tried to introduce themselves to keep her "cool status," so the twins gave up their attempt of friendship but not before Mabel scared her off with a piece oh her hair she keeps in a bag as a last resort to friendship. Next, there was Preston who loved the theater so much he wore something that looked like it was stolen from a school play about Shakespeare and expressed his love for theater by talking like Shakespeare and express himself through his arms whenever he's saying something dramatic. Mabel instantly had a crush on him while Dipper just rolled his eyes as he knew that this was another Gabe. He just hoped he didn't make out with Shakespeare paintings. And lastly there was Space Kid, and as far as Dipper and Mabel knew of, that was his real name. Like Preston, he loved space so much he wore a astronaut suite consisting of a helmet he probably wore to bed every night. He was the annoying little kid of the camp that would never shut about space facts and would constantly annoy Dipper about how he would be on the moon one day while Mabel found him sweet. Then there is the counselors that are like Soos and Wendy but much less cool. Actually, not cool at all. David much like Soos, was an absolute fanboy of a conman, would do anything for him, and not the smartest of people. Unlike Soos, David was a total buzzkill and thinks following the rules and singing songs that makes you want stab yourself and die a slow painful death is cool. Not only is a total rules dork but he treats every camper like a 5-year-old kid and is absolutely half-witted and every situation that they're in. Dipper doesn't like him at all. While Soos did get on his nerves time-to-time, he made up for it by saving the day multiple times and being an all-around cool dude to hand out with. But David was not cool at all and is a total moronic idiot that thinks kindergarten stuff is fun. Yeah, when Dipper doesn't like someone who thinks learning is fun you know that that person is a total idiot. Not to mention he's totally on board on ratting his great uncles out without the twins consent just to keep this stupid camp going. Dipper really doesn't hate people per say, but David's really on his most disliked list. Mabel on the other hand agreed that David wasn't the smartest counselor to be chosen but she thought he was a cool guy to hang out with since she's mainly in to singing songs around the camp fire, doing fun activities, and smiling 24/7. But even she was annoyed by David by him treating her like a 5-year-old and being clueless in certain situations. Gwen, on the other hand was exact opposite of David and kinda like Wendy but not really. First, she obviously doesn't want to be here in the first place and looks like she wants to kill herself every second of the day. Second, the campers annoy her to death so she pretty much hates everyone of them here, so she has a "most hated" to "least hated" list. Comparing her to Wendy, they both are lazy, hate they're jobs, and much rather do something else. But Wendy's cool, wild, fun, and just straight up awesome as she loves to hang out with the twins and her friends. But as far as the twins know, Gwen isn't fun at all and doesn't even attempt to befriend the children at camp, she somehow can survive David's optimism but can't handle kids? Dipper really doesn't hate or like her at all, but he just thinks she's rather dull and he does relate to her time to time when kids are being too annoying. Mabel on the other hand thinks she's just stressed out on camp and tries to be on her good side.
That's basically the entire Camp Campbell group, and we haven't even started on a usual day yet...
It was another day at Camp Campbell and of course instead of doing fun things today David decided to spend the day by showing the campers around the camp. Even though they've already been here for a couple days. Dipper hated it here. He never got a chance to explore the woods and there were no mysteries of this camp at all. It seemed that only Ajit was the only interesting thing to happen so far but other than that it's just been a plain summer for the past couple days.
"And here we have our time-honored camp mascot, Larry the Hamster!" David announced as the group approached a glass cage with a hamster in it. "Say hi, Larry!"
And to validate the argument of David treating the campers like kids from Kindergarten, he bent down and voiced the hamster as the animal respectfully ate his food.
"Hi there, campers! Don't forget to have fun today! Don't forget to respect David and everything he does for you!" David squeaked. He then picked up the hamster from the cage and said, "Oh! He talked! Did you hear that?!"
Dipper could only face-palm out of annoyance and embarrassment and began to start to have thoughts of revenge on his parents for sending him to this hell-hole camp.
"Are you a animal-whisperer?" Mabel questioned with a dead-serious voice.
"And are you a gypsy?" Nikki followed the same dead-serious voice.
"Uhhhh..." But before David could think of a good answer, Max made a "A-hem" and everyone look toward him to see him dropping a marble on a wooden loopty-loop which then landed on three wooden planks and then they fell down like dominos on an axe which led to many more things to collide as it led to the cutting of a string to a cattlepult containing a large boulder with the words "FUCK THE POLICE" painted on it. As soon as the string was cut the boulder as thrown hard and hit the small defenseless hamster as it screamed out in pain and fear before landing quite hard on a nearby island. After the dust settled and birds flew away on the island, Max let out a groan and looked at David.
"Oh, man. That was suppose to kill you?"
"Di-did that just happened?!" Dipper thought in his head as he learned never to piss off or underestimate the angsty 10-year-old boy.
"Hey," Mabel said looking around curiously, "where's Waddles?"
Play Camp Camp Theme Song
After the death of the shortly introduced camp mascot Larry the Hamster David gathered the kids at the peer for daily announcements for what they're doing today. Max couldn't take another day with that happy-loving idiot. Ever since his last escape attempt David and Gwen have been keeping eye on him even more than ever.
"Uh! I swear if we have another macaroni-art day and Preston's stupid play rehearsal on the same day again I'm going to grab the closest thing to a weapon near me and use it no matter how slow and painful it is." Max ranted in his head. "But I guess it was funny to see Nikki and Mabel puke out their macaroni-art and see Preston's face as he saw them ruin the entire set."
Max smirked at that memory as David begun the announcements in the most excruciating way possible. By being as annoyingly positive as possible. "Alrighty, kids!Today we'll be on the hunt for a brand-new mascot!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Max exclaimed with his hands. "Why you gotta put that shit on us? We don't work here and besides why can't we use Mabel's pet pig?"
"Well, Max, we were going to make homemade ice cream but someone killed our mascot and now we need a new one becAUSE MABEL'S PIG IS MISSING AND EVERY GOOD CAMP HAS A MASCOT, MAX!" David explained getting into Max's face getting more serious as each word came out of his mouth as Max maintained no-fear face.
"HIS NAME IS WADDLES!" Mabel cried as she and Nikki carried signs of missing pig signs with Waddles on the front. She and Nikki then handed a sign to each camper as Mabel cried her eyes out. Mumbling about how she was a horrible pet owner.
Max rolled his eyes as he said, "You know he's probably going through garbage or bothering Gwen, right?"
Mable's crying jumbled what she was saying but thankfully Nikki was there to translate for her. "She says we looked all around camp for him." Then Mable mumbled some more. "But we haven't checked on Gwen yet."
"Hey, where is Gwen today?" Neil asked.
"Oh, she's under the weather." David explained. "But this is one of the activities I can do without her!"
"Under the weather?" Neil raised an eyebrow.
"Lady-sickness." Nikki said. "My mom used to get that all the time."
For some reason Dipper and David look uncomfortable as they looked each other as if they didn't know what to say.
"How do you cure it?" Neil asked.
H-hey, m-maybe w-we should-" David tried to pull the attention away from the touchy subject that most of the campers weren't ready to hear but failed.
"EDGE CLOSER TO DEATH..." Nikki answered very dramatically. VERY, dramatically.
So dramatically that every camper stopped what they were doing and stared in discomfort at Nikki. Even Mabel stopped babbling as her and the rest of the girls (besides Nikki) shivered at what's to come when they got older. A very long awkward silence flowed through the camp as no one said nothing and stared at Nikki. Nikki, not old enough what they were talking about, raised an eyebrow and asked a question nonchalantly as if nothing were wrong: "What?"
No one knew what to say something to the young girl, the ones that were too young to know about a females... time, were too confused to ask anything while the ones that were old enough to know about a females... time didn't want to break it down to a young girl about her upcoming... time when she gets older since they weren't getting paid for this and they didn't want to make the situation even more awkward. Another awkward silence flowed through the camp but was thankfully not as long as the previous one as Space Kid broke it.
"Sure glad I'm not a girl." Space Kid said out loud rubbing the back of his helmet.
All the boys nodded and agreed that they were thankful of their gender as the young boys were happy that they don't have to get pregnant while the older boys didn't had to deal with the females... time of the month.
"H-hey, David." Dipper said, as all the nodding and agreeing from the boys died down. "How about instead of searching for a random animal we look for Waddles instead?"
"Now that sounds like a good ide-SPACE KID, DON'T EAT THAT! IT'S NOT SPACE FOOD!" David agreed but then pushed the kids out of the way to ensure the safety of fellow campers.
As soon as David left Mabel built up some confidence and announce, "Come on, Nikki! Waddles ain't gonna turn into sausages or meet his real family and abandon me on our watch!"
Mabel then rushed off to plant flyers on trees not even two-feet away from each other as Nikki followed her instructions and said, "Coming, Sensei Mabel!"
As David was busy with the other campers and the girls were busy looking for Waddles left Dipper, Max, and Neil standing together.
"I just need
"I need a break from David. Just one day. Just one." Max said rubbing his head.
"Yeah, I get it he's annoying but do you really have to try and kill him?" Dipper asked.
Max's eyes snapped and narrowed at Dipper. "Dipper, you haven't been here for as long as I have and trust me when I say it gets worse the me you spend time with him."
But before any of the boys could continue their conversation they heard grunting and the sound of something being dragged. They all turned their heads to see the Quartermaster dragging a bloody bag. Dipper and Neil looked like all the color was drained from them at the grizzly site but Max smiled as he hatched a plan to get away from David. He could be murdered but it would be better than hearing another camp fire song.
"Hey, David!" Max called for the counselor sweetly.
"Yes, Max?" David answered with a smile trying to get Space Kid's helmet off.
"Why don't you have the Quartermaster take half of us?" Max asked, smirking as he knew that getting half the class would be less suspicious.
"Huh?!" the Quartermaster question the boy's actions.
"I"ll bet he would have a unique outlook on the forest." Max pushed with the charade of wanting learn about the forest with an elder.
"Why, Max, what a wonderful idea!" David agreed positively, dropping Space Kid. "He's such a beloved member of our family. I would love for you all to know him better!"
David chirped as the Quartermaster disgustingly wiped snot from his nose with his hand only to have the blood from his hook all over his beard. After realizing this he quickly wiped the blood from his beard and snorted all the snot up his nose to make sure that that occurrence won't happen again but it failed as more snot dripped from his nose.
"I for one, would love to learn from my elders." Max said keeping his charade up as David gorged on it.
As the idea was agreed and confirmed upon by the counselor and Quartermaster, the campers were all to horrified by the Quartermaster to even be near him. So understandably Neil tried to talk his friend out of being killed slasher-style.
"You seriously want to go in the woods with the bad guy from every horror movie EVER?!" Neil asked.
"Yeah, that guy would do more than kill you, Max." Dipper agreed with Neil, suggesting a more suggestive end.
"Calm down, it'll be fine." Max shrugged off. "Besides, anythings better than hanging with David."
Dipper took a couple seconds to consider Max's words. To tell the truth, David was getting on his nerves as well. David was in many ways like Soos. Except if you pull out all the coolness and usefulness of Soos you get an ignorant suck-up that treats campers like 5-year-olds. And Dipper hated to be treated like a child. Plus, the Quartermaster saved them from Ajit. Well... he didn't know Ajit was turning over a leaf at that moment and didn't want to risk the safety of the kids. So the bloody bag he was dragging could just be a dead deer he hunted.
"Well he did save us from Ajit..." Dipper said rubbing the back of his head very guilt-like, knowing the situation involving the deer-man was much more complicated then that.
"Oh, come on, Dipper!" Neil exclaimed. "I can lose one of my friends at this God-forsaken camp, but not the only other intelligent person here!"
"Sorry, dude, but..." Dipper said looking all over the place before looking at Neil straight in the eye. "David's an idiot."
Neil face-palmed at Dipper's excuse to go with the Quartermaster as Max just nodded. It was good to have another friend tag along in a trip in the forest with a possible-killer. All three of the boys turned their heads to see David sniffing as he made his final decision.
"Sorry, everyone, just... really overwhelmed with all this friendship right now." David said wiping away the few remaining tears on his face as the Quartermaster walked up to him. "Alright, who else would like to embark on a friendship walk? Who knows, maybe some of our esteemed Quartermaster's wisdom will rub off on you!"
"Eeeup." the Quartermaster agreed. "Rub off un ya."
Fearing this might lead to a suggestive end without his/her consent, all the kids save for Dipper and Max took a step back quickly possibly saving their lives in the processes. Both boys that didn't move turned their heads to the other kids surprised to see them not joining them, giving them a cold feeling in their spine for what's to come in the walk with their complicated-savior to their possibly killer
"Alright, Max and Dipper! Looks like you two are our trial-blazers! I'm just so proud!" David announced as he shuffled Max's hair before the angsty tween brushed him off.
"Everyone else is Team David! That means you Magic Kid... Magic Kid." David announced as he begun his search for a new camp mascot in the woods.
"Illusionist!" Harrison corrected with frustration at his counselor's lack of knowledge of his main hobby.
"Sorceress!" Nerris corrected with equal frustration.
As David and the rest of the campers marched off into the woods and Mabel and Nikki on their own searching for Waddles, Dipper and Max were left standing with the Quartermaster standing right near them. A man judged by looks should never walk into the forest alone with and with that situation about to happen right now, one must wonder what will happen with this walk...
"I's don't zink you're going to zatch zhat bird." Dolph said.
"Shut your face, nerd!" Nurf growled. "I'm going to catch that bird and prove how awesome I am!"
For a split second Neil wished he went with Dipper and Max since dealing with death would be more tolerable than dealing with idiocy seemed to be appealing to Neil. David and the campers have been looking around the forest for a new camp mascot for about an hour and haven't attracted one animal except spotting a little blue bird up a tree. If you asked Neil why this was the case, he would say that every camper was loud and annoying and the only the reason the little blue bird was staying in it's nest was because she was defending her eggs. Now desperate to get this shitty activity over with and spend the rest of the day doing whatever they damn well please they voted on who would climb the tree and get the fucking bird. Nurf won in a landslide. Because threatening people is his speciality. Now Nurf was climbing the tree with one hand containing a un-switched switchblade. Then Nurf somehow managed to get on the tree branch with the bird and switched the switchblade pointing it at the bird.
"Alright, now come how nice and slowly..." Nurf said it like a serial killer. However before Nurf could finish his threat, a cracking noise was heard throughout the forest. Before anyone could ask who farted and crucify the person who did so, the tree branch broke and not long after Nurf fell on the ground as the little blue bird flew away and as one last middle finger to him the eggs the bird was trying to protect fell down on Nurf covering him with yoke.
"Why does the world hate me?!" Nurf cried with his fists in the air.
Neil rolled his eyes at the bully as Preston intervened.
"Oh, because though is a nothing more than a rejection from the world that so much despises him." Preston explained like he was in a play. Like he always does.
"Now what?" Space Kid asked.
"Now we keep moving until we find camp mascot that has unborn children that we didn't kill yet!" David chirped with his happy-go-lucky attitude.
Neil groaned as he had to deal with more of this stupidity. But before he could complain about his life some more, he heard something he didn't expect to here right now. Music. Not any music though, apologetic music.
"Waddles, now I know I was wrong. I messed up, and now you're gone."
The other campers and David didn't seem to notice the music or the fact that Neil was leaving the group as he walked away to where the music was growing louder and louder.
"Waddles, I'm sorry I neglected you, oh I never expected you to run away and leave me feeling this empty. Your oink right now would sound like music to me. Please come home 'cause I miss you, Waddles."
By now Neil found the source of the music. Mabel holding a jukebox up high while Nikki planted fliers all around the forest.
"(Waddles, come home.)"
"Waddles, come home."
"(Waddles, come home.)"
"Where the hell did you two get a jukebox from?" Neil asked.
Both girls stopped what they were doing as they turned towards Neil. Mabel turned off the jukebox as she just sobbed out the words.
"She says we basically tried everything." Nikki turned her sobs into english for Neil. "Social media, fliers, baseball games, cloud signs, interrogation, ecetera ecetera. But we can't find Waddles."
"Well, haven't you tried-hey, how did you guys even try, like, everything you just said?"Neil asked.
But before they could explain how they did all those things with such a small amount of time, Neil notice something on the ground that might finally answer their question.
"Hey, are those bear-tracks?" he asked bending down to examine them.
Both girls followed suite as Neil pieced together what could've happen.
"You don't think..." Nikki said with fear.
But Mabel didn't want to believe her beloved pet pig was eaten by a bear. She will not let that happen.
"Momma's coming for you, baby!" Mabel announced as she followed the bear-tracks running as far as shew could.
"Oh yes, adventure time, baby!" Nikki yelled out of excitement as she followed the distraught teenager.
Neil sighed as he followed both girls.
"Beats dying with Dipper and Max or dealing with those idiots." Neil mumbled out loud. "I'm wondering what Nikki's going to do with the bear once we find him."
Dipper still wasn't sure if going with the Quartermaster was an 100% good idea. He knew he was going with his emotions and not his basic instincts. Well where the Quartermaster took him and Max basically fixed a bullet wound-with acid. He-of course-took them to the shady parts of the woods where it looked like they were going to be killed by an unimaginable horror at any second. If you took one look at Dipper you could tell he was basically shitting his pants as he waved his head at all directions looking for something that could end his life.
Max noticed this and whipped his head towards the older boy and whispered, "Calm down, you wanted to come with us in the first place."
"Yeah, but didn't know he was going to take us into woods where everything looks like it wants to kill you!" Dipper shot back.
Max sighed as he knew Dipper was right. To tell the truth even he was creeped out by the forest and weather the Quartermaster will kill them or not. So he decided to talk the Quartermaster out of this "mascot hunt" and go back to camp just like he tricked David into letting Quartermaster take them.
"Look, man, we can just go back to the camp and relax." Max tried to manipulate with a fake smile plastered on his face. "Gwen can be the mascot."
But sadly, Max's ability to talk his way out of situations didn't seem to fly by the aged old timer as stopped dead in his tracks. Max bumped into him and fell on the ground looking back up at the old timer. The Quartermaster slowly cranked his head back with snapping sounds coming from his movement, adding to his creepy factor.
"You kids think you're so SMART!" the Quartermaster announced grimly.
"What?" Max asked quickly, giving the Quartermaster a confused look. "Uh, how does that relate to..."
"You need to see beyond the camp," the Quartermaster explained. "Into the true beauty of nature!"
"Uh..." Max said. "This looks like a place where teenagers go to get stabbed."
"... Probably." the Quartermaster said switching his hook to what looked like an ice cream-scooper with a candle lit.
The Quartermaster then continued to walk down the dark and mysterious path as if nothing happened as Dipper helped Max up.
"Way to increase my anxiety, dude." Dipper scoffed.
"Oh, whatever," Max rolled his eyes as he started to follow the Quartermaster, "didn't you say you dealt with an army of fucking people made out of wax and an army of gnomes?"
"That's... not even half of the worst things I've dealt with last summer." Dipper looked down on the ground thinking of Bill Cipher, the worst thing he dealt with in his life. "How long did you listen when me and Mabel told you, Neil, and Nikki about Gravity Falls?"
"Uhhhh," Max thought pretty hard. "When your sister dated a 9-year-old, I think."
Dipper face-palmed. "Seriously? You didn't even get to when we traveled through time?"
Max looked at Dipper confused. If Dipper told Max this stuff last week he would just shake his head and wave him off as a drug user or attention seeker. But since his run-in with the deer/man hybrid, Ajit Pai his views of the supernatural has changed. Maybe there was more to the world then he knew...
"You have a fucking weird life, dude." Max said now catching to the Quartermaster.
"I know." Dipper said now trying to catch up with the other two.
The bear-tracks led Mabel, Nikki, and Neil to a cave, a natural home for bears. While following the trail Neil has grown anxiety about finding a bear and only kept going because the other two girls practically forced him to, Nikki was excited to go face-to-face to a bear, and Mabel just cared about getting her beloved pet pig back. All they had to do was go up against a bear...
"Ha-ho! Jackpot!" Nikki squealed out in excitement.
"M-maybe we shouldn't do th-" Neil was about to croak out in fear before Mabel grabbed him by the shirt and gave him a face that even Satan himself would piss his pants.
"Listen, Neil!" Mabel began. "My baby is possibly dead and we're not going back to camp until we find him! Got it?!"
"Y-yes..." Neil squeaked out with absolute fear in his eyes.
Mabel let him go as she marched forward into the cave with Nikki not to far behind. Neil slowly made his way into the cave, shaking nearly to death on what's to come. Either going to die being mauled to death by a bear, or getting his insides ripped out by Mabel.
Luckily all of Neil's fears went away when he saw the bear. Or better explained, what was left of a bear. The bear was reduced to nothing but a stack of bones indicating that the bear has been dead for quite awhile. Neil sighed in relief as the two girls practically died in the inside.
"NOOOHOOO!" Nikki screamed out in sadness. "I would've fed him porridge. And it would've been just right!"
"Wait you were planning to keep the bear?" Neil asked raising an eyebrow.
"Well since Mabel has a pet pig and I want to be just like her I need my own wacky pet to be a true apprentice." Nikki explained with a small sad tone in her voice. "But now I won't have one since Waddles is probably dead."
Hearing this Mabel's heart practically broke in two as she fell on the ground crying in pain at the lost of her beloved pet pig. With an annoyed face Neil punched Nikki's arm and as Nikki tried to rub the pain away Neil bent down and tried to make Mabel feel better the best way he could.
"Don't be sad, Mabel," Neil said in a fake positive voice, "losing a pet is just a part of life. Did I tell you I lost my pet goldfish when I was 4? Or I lost my puppy when I was 6? ... I lost my lizard when I was 8? Because I accidentally mistaken acid for water." Neil wasn't even trying to make Mabel feel better anymore, he was just now realizing what a horrible pet owner he is. "Oh my shit I'm horrible with pets."
Before Neil could have a mental breakdown on the death of his poorly neglected pets, the three campers heard tiny foot steps drawing nearer towards them. So the three rose up to see what unknown force was upon them.
QUACK!
Neil sighed again and almost instantly lost the painful memories of his neglected pets at the sight of a pretty cute small brown-furred platypus. It hissed at the sight of the three kids and formed a defensive stance. Mabel wiped her tears away at the sight of the cute platypus made her feel a little bit better, but not enough to smile let alone smirk. Nikki wasn't impressed at all on the sight of the little small hissing animal.
"Pssh, what's that?" Nikki asked unimpressed and cocking an eyebrow. "Doesn't look very cool."
"That's a platypus." explained Neil with a smile as he loved to explain things, it actually made him feel better than everyone when he does this. "It's actually quite dangerous. I think it has a little poison spur on it's hind-"
"POISONOUS?!" Nikki exclaimed, her eyes beating of light and awe of finally finding her awesome pet.
"Wait those things are poisonous?" Mabel asked still with a sad face helping Neil up. "I just thought they built dams, swim in rivers, and occasionally get in turf wars with beavers."
Neil cast Mabel a lame glance as Nikki approached the little angry animal with wide arms.
"Awesome!" she said with a wide smile. "You're coming with mama!"
This seemed to piss the platypus off even more as it stood up with it's tail and hissed very loudly at Nikki with spit going everywhere as it was about to pounce on the three kids. Neil and Mabel faces were horrified in the moment and decided to get the fuck outta dodge.
"Run!" Neil yelled. "Don't let it kick you!"
With her only two friends that was remotely near her Nikki decided to follow Neil and Mabel with a wide happy smile plastered on her face as they ran out of cave with the pissed off platypus not too far behind. Of course this only made Nikki want the platypus even more, because she always loved good danger and good challenges.
Dipper and Max's fear of getting murdered in the suspiciously terrifying woods by the Quartermaster grew second by second as they followed the old man with their shaking of fear getting worse. Suddenly the Quartermaster stopped dead in his tracks and the two boys followed suite. As the old man peered his head around to face the two boys Max could've swore he seen his own life flash before his eyes. But he really wasn't against the idea since his parents were shitty and oh God David was a total annoying piece of shit. Dipper on the other hand didn't want to die. His dream of becoming a great mystery solver didn't die yet and he wanted to say goodbye to Pacifica one final ti-wait, why would Pacifica be the FIRST person to say goodbye to?!
But before both boys could say anything the Quartermaster huffed out, "Stay 'ere," before going through some bushes.
Both boys blinked in confusion. Max's first thoughts were that of escape while Dipper's first thoughts were following the Quartermaster. Max, being more of a selfish person and listens to reason grabs Dipper's arm saying, "Come on let's get out of here before he gets his hockey mask and chainsaw!"
Dipper, being deprived of any real mysteries this summer wanted to follow the Quartermaster. His drive to becoming a great mystery solver seemingly grew after last summer and now since it's summer again and he's stuck in a boring summer camp he needed something mysterious to solve before he went insane. Plus, what if it's like Stan and the portal? He couldn't live with another one of those situations going on under his nose. With this feeling in him he ignored common sense and yanked his arm away from Max's grip.
"No," Dipper said firmly and uneasy at the same time. "I want to see what he's hiding."
"Dude, are you serious?!" Max yelped. "It's just like Neil said! Behind those bushes is probably a shack where he hides bodies and probably has his mom's severed head in there!"
"That's not what Neil said." Dipper said flatly.
"Well it's what he implied!" Max shot back.
Dipper sighed, knowing what Max said was probably true. But he still had to this. He had this drive that needed to be served. Dipper knew if this was a horror movie then he would probably die a pretty gruesome death. But considering all the things he survived last summer and even the situation a couple days ago, Dipper figured he could survive an old man with a chainsaw. Hell, he survived the apocalypse. How many kids his age could say they survived that?
"Look, dude," Dipper started. "I kinda have to do this. I can't live with something huge going on under my nose like last summer so I'm going in."
Max facepalmed at Dipper. "You're gonna fucking die."
"Eh, I've been in worse situations." Dipper shrugged.
So now with all the built up hype and anticipation of what's behind the bushes and what if the Quartermaster's hiding Dipper moved the bush branches to reveal: a boulder.
"Well that was a gigantic disappointment." Max said dully.
But Dipper, who experienced situations like this last summer knew there was more than meets the eye. Dipper walked up to the boulder and put both his hands against it trying to feel something metallic. He started to roam his hands across the boulder to test his theory. He was sheer will determined to prove his theory to be true out of experience.
"Uh, what the hell are you doing?" Max said uncomfortably.
"Trying to see..." Dipper said gruffly, "if there's something, metallic on thi-oh, here we go."
Feeling something metallic, Dipper touched this metal more and more to slide it back to reveal a security console bedded into the boulder. Dipper smirked at his success but it faltered to see that the security console had numbers, letters, and symbols in various different languages. Dipper pressed a few buttons to try to get it in but a red light symbolizing failure flashed numerous times. As Dipper was preoccupied for the moment, Max heard noises coming from inside the boulder. In instinct, Max grabbed Dipper's arm and ran back to the bush. Dipper too having heard the noises obliged and followed Max's lead without saying a word. Not even a minute later, a metal door slid up and the Quartermaster walked out of it holding a small glass container that the boys couldn't make out from the distance. He turned his attention towards the security console which was out in the open. He shrugged t off as the wind and planted a code in that made the door close. The Quartermaster closed the security console and headed back to the bush that the boys were spying at him from and were lucky enough to get out of before he saw the boys.
In a matter of seconds the boys backed up and the Quartermaster walked out of the bush and lifted the glass container to reveal that in the container held a master. And the master looked a lot like Larry the Hamster from earlier. A little too much like Larry the Master.
"Gat th camp mascot," the Quartermaster huffed out. "Let's 'ede back to camp."
Unknowing to the Quartermaster, the two boys behind him had sweat beating on their foreheads from fear, suspense, and curiosity. Both Dipper and Max had no idea at what they just witnessed and with the mysterious man right in front of them that murdered the deer-man hybrid Ajit Pai, they both silently decided to walk through the creepy woods in silence. And both did not said a word until they reached Camp Campbell.
Back at Camp Campbell, David and the other campers manged to find some-forms of woodland critters and David decided it was good enough they were good enough to come back to camp with (without having seeing any of the animals of course). So it was pretty clear that David wanted a new camp mascot pretty bad that he didn't notice that three of his campers were gone (or he didn't care).
"Alright, everyone!" David announce in his usual chipper tone. "Let's take a look at our candidates!"
Starting things off Space Kid proudly presented his possible camp mascot.
"We've got... a caterpillar..." David said taken aback and honestly expecting a little bit more but still kept his happy-go-lucky attitude nonetheless. "Which will blossom into a beautiful butterfly! Just like all you campers!"
Next up, Nerris presented her poor excuse of a camp mascot.
"Next, a... tin... can...?" David said more confused than disappointed.
"It's a wizard's amulet." Nerris said proudly as if nothing was wrong.
"...Which can be recycled, and become anything it puts it's mind to!" David said bringing out the bright side of the situation just like he always does.
"It gives me +1 Dexterity!" Nerris proudly said.
"I have something!" yelled Harrison. "Look, and be amazed!"
Just like a usual magician, Harrison put his hand through his hat and brought out a rabbit.
"Harrison, that's incredible!" David said amazed and happy that they finally had their camp mascot.
"... Is it? Or is it...?" Harrison said going forward with his magician act and put the rabbit right back into his hat. "Magic? Ta-da!"
"Where'd it go?! Bring it back!" David exclaimed worriedly.
"Oh... I don't know how." Harrison responded blatantly. "This is kinda why I'm here."
But before the camp mascot tryouts could continue noises could be heard through the forests and grew louder and louder with rustling being included too. Voices could be heard being a mixture of fright and pleasure and soon enough a frighten Mabel and Neil came bursting from the forests with a cheerful Nikki beside them and they looked to be chased by a angry platypus.
"Ah!" David yelled as his instincts came into his head. "Kids get to the peer!"
All the capers and David ran to edge of the peer but David's stupidity showed again as it just became a dead end for them and just easier for the platypus to kill them.
"Where do we go now?!" Neil asked scared.
"I son't know!" David admitted. "This was a really bad idea in hindsight!"
The pissed off platypus was now on the front of the peer and very slowly approached the campers and David while growling.
"I WANT A VIKING"S FUNERAL!" Nikki exclaimed excitingly. "LIGHT ME UP!"
The platypus made another step closer.
"I'LL NEVER SAY GOODBYE TO WADDLES!" Mabel cried.
As the platypus made grew more and more closer, nature showed that enable to tame a pissed off creature, you needed a even more pissed creature. So typically a woman fresh off her period. That should handle any problem at all.
Gwen, who came out of no where, grabbed the platypus by the tail, held it up while it was trying to bite her and get free, looked at David and exclaimed:
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"
Having to face a woman fresh off her period and this situation looking very silly in hindsight David decided to be the most charming he could be.
"We're... finding a mascot?" David said with a smile on his face.
Gwen sighed and looked back and forth between the platypus she had by the tail and to David.
"... Why do you always have to make things weird and complicated?" she sighed.
"Well, I mean, I think this is all pretty normal..." David said,
After a few moments the platypus calmed down so Gwen set the platypus down and soon enough the kids got enough confidence and walked out the peer.
"Where's Max and Dipper?" Gwen asked her fellow camp counselor.
"Oh, those two have decided to join the Quartermaster and the three of them are trying to find a camp mascot on they're own!" David happily announced.
"Wait," Gwen said worriedly. "You mean you left two young boys in the care of an old man whom we don't even know his real name?"
"Well, Gwen, I'll let you know he's be-annnnnnd, I see your point." David started matter-of-fact-ly before realizing what Gwen said maid the situation sound so much worse.
Seconds later the Quartermaster and the two boys emerged from the forest and the Quartermaster looked to have caught a camp mascot.
"Got ah new mascot." the old man huffed before giving the glass container to David.
David squeaked in excitement as he opened the container, grabbed the hamster inside, and dropped the glass container.
"Ah, he's just so adorable!" David chirped as Gwen rolled her eyes. "He looks a lot a Larry! ... In fact he looks just like-"
Before David could start fitting the pieces together a hawk (or the same hawk from earlier) flew down and grabbed the hamster from David's hand. David's mouth was open and he fell on his knees.
"Shit." Gwen said.
"I'm 'ot gettin' another 'ne." the Quartermaster said walking away.
As the adults were falling to pieces Mabel was on the verge of breaking down because she didn't find her beloved pet pig Waddles today. Her twin brother walked up and hugged her as he saw that face many times being her brother.
"Oh, there you are, Waddles." Nikki said as if nothing was wrong as her statement was followed by an oink.
Mabel's face lit up as she turned to see her beloved pet pig standing right next to Nikki and the rest of the campers. She squeaked in excitement and happiness as she ran up and hugged her pet pig.
"Waddles!" she yelled with tears of happiness running down on her face. "Where were you?! Don't ever leave me like that again!"
As everyone clapped to see the reunion of girl and pig no one really gave a second thought on what Waddles truly did that day...
"CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS AND WADDLES THE PIG!" Dr. Heinz Doofensmirtz yelled on the top of his lungs as his tree-inator blew up right in his face. You see, his plan was to go to Oregon and steal as many trees as possible and plant them back in Danville as a publicity stunt to beat his brother in the mayor elections and final become ruler of the tri-state area. Of course, Agent P would be sent there to stop him. But this time Dr. Doofensmirtz had robots around to make sure everything goes smoothly and to hold off his retched nemesis so the O.W.C.A had to send another agent there to help Agent P. They found out that one of their retired agents, Agent P (another one) was in Oregon with his new owners. They somehow manged to convince Waddles to work for them one final time and so the two of them managed to defeat the evil Dr. Doofensmirtz thwarting his plan to win the election and saved the environment.
Now the pair were in Perry's flying car and their boss, Monty Monogram appeared on screen.
"Congratulations on defeating Dr. Doofensmirtz, Agent P and Agent P." Monogram said before getting into a joking manner. "Or should I just say Agents P's?"
Both agents looked back at the screen unimpressed.
"Yeah, well, I really wasn't feeling it either." Monogram said rather quickly. "Agent P, now since you help Agent P defeat Dr. Doofensmirtz we will honor our agreement and send you back to Camp Campbell with your new owners and never bother you again. It's been an honor having your service."
Waddles nodded his head as he gave Perry his fedora and oinked goodbye to his former boss and team mate. Perry pressed the ejection button and seconds later Waddles' seat bursted out of the flying car and and a parachute ejected from the seat and soon the seat landed on solid ground. Soon Waddles found his way back to Camp Campbell. Waddles loved his life being Mabel's pet so much that he gave up his job for it. He liked being retired and not having the world ending. That's why after last summer on being undercover in the strange town of Gravity Falls and seeing first-hand the beginning and end of the apocalypse he retired and went to live with Mabel. Monty Monogram didn't argue with him on agreeing to his retirement request after reading his report. He still has to look after Mabel since these parts of America is littered with all kinds of conspiracies and unknowns.
"Oh, there you are, Waddles." Nikki said out loud while no one else noticed.
At night after it was decided that Waddles and the platypus will both be the camp mascots, the Pine Twins, Max, Neil, Nikki, and both animals were in a single tent while the rest of the camp was asleep discussing the day's events.
"I think we're keeping his name to be Platypus." Nikki said with a smile on her face as she petted the said animal sleeping on her lap.
"Really?" Mabel asked while she petted her beloved pet pig sleeping on her lap. "Not anything cute or-"
"Guys!" Dipper exclaimed quietly to the girls. "Are you even listening to us?"
"Uhhhh, what are we talking about again?" Nikki asked.
"Oh, I don't know, just that the Quartermaster has a secret lair built into a fucking boulder!" Max exclaimed not trying to be quiet.
"SHHHH!" said everybody in the tent.
"Are you trying to wake up the whole camp?" Neil chastised whispering.
"I'm sorry that the creepy old man that saved us from a deer-man thing has some Illuminati shit type secrets!" Max yelled quietly.
Silence hung over in the tent for awhile while everyone collected their thoughts.
"Dipper," Mabel whispered to her twin brother. "Do you know what this means?"
"That we are in an area that is possibly mysterious as Gravity Falls, uh yeah!" Dipper exclaimed whispering with a broad smile on his face.
"Wait," Max said. "You want to investigate this? If he finds out that you're snooping around in his shit he'll kill you!"
"And I guess I stand correct on my statement on him." Neil said proudly while everyone else gave him the dirty eye. "What?"
"Look," Dipper said. "It's been a long day for all of us and it's like 3 AM so I think it's best if everyone goes to bed and we'll talk about this later."
Everyone nodded in agreement so they all left Dipper's tent and went to their own respective tent and had a good night's rest. Except for Dipper. He waited all his last school year to come back to Gravity Falls and see everyone again and hopefully have another adventure filled with mysteries. But things didn't go his way and now he's in a summer camp that's run by idiots and the Quartermaster is obviously hiding secrets that could change the face of science. As questions floated through Dipper's head such as what did he do to Ajit's body or why did that hamster look exactly like Larry, Dipper fell asleep eventually.
Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. It's like 3 AM right now so I won't be long. I'm going to say that Dipper's going to be the main character throughout this story and don't worry some characters will be the main focus for some chapters. I would also like to say that Max is an outsider. He has a shitty home life and doesn't really know how to connect with people except through insults. He does know people and how to manipulate them he just doesn't know how to have friends. He's like Dipper in a way and in Gravity Falls Dipper showed he doesn't have good people skills either so these two characters I can easily relate too and are going to be the main crossover relationship of the story (I'm not pairing them.
I would like to thank everyone who reviewed this story, favorited, and followed it really does help boost the confidence so I'll probably start chapter 3 tomorrow. Hopefully it won't take five months.
Also that Phineas and Ferb reference does confirm that all three shows are in the same universe. But don't expect a Avengers-style crossover, because it probably end with half the universe dead... It's just a shout out to one of my favorite childhood shows.
This is Shadow the Jedi, ending transmisson and as always, May The Force Be With You.