Riding In Cars With Boys

Chapter 4 - Sleeping Sickness

Jacob's POV

She drew in a deep breath. "I love you."

My heart went into overdrive and I was suddenly gasping for air. I love you. Those three words had been on the tip of my tongue for years now, but I was always unable to speak them because she didn't feel the same way.

Now that I knew she did, I found my mouth opening.

"I mean, you're my best friend. And you're always there for me, and I know that you always will be no matter what I choose to do. I know that you hate what I do, and I promise that I'm going to cut back, but you still stuck with me. And all those nights that I called you up, you never said anything but 'yes'. I don't know how else to thank you except to say that I love you. And I do Jacob, I really do. You'll always be my best friend."

My heart sank as I realized that she didn't mean it the same way that I did. I sat with my mouth hanging open, unable to say anything without her hearing the hurt.

"Jake?" she asked.

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered.

"I thought you hung up on me. You're awfully quiet," she noticed.

I swallowed. "Sorry."

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, just tired," I murmured.

"Well, I guess I'll let you get some sleep, then. It'll probably be the first time you'll sleep through the night, huh? Guess that's my fault," she mused.

"Oh, I don't mind. But, yeah it probably will be. Wait, you aren't going out tonight?" I wondered.

"No, I just got home. It would kind of ruin everything right now. And I haven't heard anything from Tyler so he either got a new girlfriend or doesn't want to see me tonight," she said jokingly.

I didn't find it funny. Tyler was the biggest douche that I had ever met - and I've met some that are pretty bad. I understood why Ness only stayed with him because he's her hook-up, but I knew that she would've never chosen him if she weren't the person that she was.

"Right, well goodnight Jacob. I love you," she reminded me.

"'Night. Love you, too," I muttered.

I did something like a growl and threw my cell phone down on the bedside table. I pulled my comforter over my head and listened to her tell me that she loved me over and over, as if her voice was on repeat.

Renesmee's POV

I hung up with Jacob and then I just sat in my bed. Sleep seemed somewhat impossible. My hands were slightly shaking and I pressed them into my ribcage to stop them. I was starting to get the slightest headache, and I wondered if I was sick. Then, I knew that wasn't it, and it was just that my body was used to me using right about now.

I quietly got out of bed and made my way to the basement bar. My parents were winding down, and here I was, all wound up. Ana was sleeping silently in her bedroom, no worries at all. I looked around before I opened the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of vodka, the bottle of Smirnoff cool in my hands.

I silently pulled out a small glass cup and poured about an inch. I took a slow sip, relishing in the familiar burn down my throat. I threw back the rest in my cup, refilled it, and then put away the bottle knowing that my parents would never miss it. I walked back to my room just as quietly as I had left it; it was as if I was a ghost.

Setting the cup down on my bedside table, I noticed that the lights on my phone were flashing; someone was calling me. Looking at the caller ID, I saw that it was Tyler.

"Yeah?" I answered, taking a sip of the fire.

"Ness, where the hell are you?" he yelled. There was a lot of background noise.

"Uh, I'm at home."

"You need to get here," he growled.

I swallowed the rest, grimacing at the flames that rippled down my throat. "Alright, just…give me a minute. I have to get out of the house."

"Hurry the fuck up," he commanded and then the phone went dead.

I quickly changed out of my sweatpants and hoodie into a pair of skin tight skinny jeans I couldn't breathe in, and a flowy deep blue shirt. I slid into a pair of black flats and then made my way to my parents' room. I passed Ana's on the way and had to swallow hard when I saw her. I closed her door gently and then knocked softly twice on my parent's door.

"Come in," my father said.

I pushed the door open, keeping one hand on the doorknob.

He studied my appearance and then looked away. "Going out?"

My mother looked down at her hands.

I swallowed. "Tyler called; he needed a ride home from work. I wasn't going to stay for very long."

He nodded. "We'll wait up."

"No, no," I said quickly, "go ahead and get some rest. Promise, I won't be that long."

I watched their faces as they swallowed my lies.

"Okay, love you," he said.

"Love you too, mom, dad," I whispered before closing the door.

I locked the front door behind me and then started my car with shaking fingers. I hated lying to them, I hated Tyler for making me who I am, and most of all I hated myself for not stopping it.

Tyler didn't live very far from where I did. A cute little house his parents had inherited when his grandparents died. When they kicked him out, that's where he went. The driveway was full of cars and the street was lined except for my reserved spot in front of his house.

I sat in the car for a minute before venturing up the front walk and into the house. Tyler was sitting at the coffee table in the living room, surrounded by people. A line of fine white powder graced the table.

"There you are. Here, I set it up for you," he said, making room for me on the couch.

I shook my head; that wasn't my style. Someone held a blunt out to me and I took it eagerly and took a drag.

"At a girl," Tyler smiled.

I made my way into the kitchen and poured myself a beer. I came back into the living room and sat on Tyler's lap. We shared my beer and his weed. He made a show of making out with me on the couch. Tyler was the jealous type, and always worried that guys were looking at me in ways they shouldn't be.

"Fuck this," he finally said, "come with me."

A guy in our audience laughed. "Hey Ty, that's what she said!"

Tyler laughed and so did everyone else. He forgot what he was going to do so I was in the clear for now. It would be the same as every other time. He would get me high and then try to get me to have sex with him. I didn't really have the energy to fight him off tonight.

I slowly got up from his lap.

"Where are you going?" he demanded, grabbing me by the hips.

"I have to pee," I lied.

He let me go and gave me a little nudge. "Make it fast."

I stumbled over people sitting on the ground and into the bathroom. A thick fog layered it and I opened the window to chase it away. I checked myself in the mirror. It was all wrong. My eyes were bloodshot and glassy. My breath reeked of beer and weed. I rinsed my mouth out and washed my face. I went back to Tyler looking semi-normal.

He pulled me down onto his lap hard, and grabbed my face roughly.

"Ow, Ty," I said, pulling back slightly.

"Stop being a little bitch," he growled. His lips attacked every inch of me and I just sat there and let it happen. If I tried to fight back, I would get hurt. If I tried to leave, I would get hurt. If I tried to do anything, I would get hurt.

Finally, he pulled back. "Go get me another beer."

I grabbed the cup and he pushed me towards the kitchen. I stumbled over someone, lost my balance, and hit the ground. Tyler was the first to laugh. I recovered quickly and did as I was told.

I was more careful walking back to him. He held his hand out impatiently for the cup. I made a show of tripping over the table leg and the cup went flying, covering him in beer. Everything got quiet.

"You stupid little whore," he spat.

Everyone got up and made their way into the back rooms or the kitchen or outside; away from here. He stood up and smacked me across the face. He spit on me and then stalked off to his bedroom. I stood there silently fuming. I wanted to leave but the high hadn't completely worn off so that wasn't an option. I considered calling Jacob, but I did that every night and I felt bad.

I stomped outside and sat down on the porch steps. The door opened behind me, but I didn't really care who was there. An old friend of mine, Conner, sat down beside me. He handed me a cup. I took a hesitant sip and was almost relieved to feel the smoothness of Coke.

"Thanks," I murmured.

He shrugged. "No problem."

We sat in silence for a while. I loved Conner for that; we didn't have to say anything when we were together and we didn't have to drink or be high.

He sighed angrily. "Why are you with him?"

I played with my cup. "What other choice do I have? You've seen how he is. I value my life too much."

He took a gulp of his drink. "I just don't understand what makes him think he can do that."

I smiled faintly. "Not everyone is as perfect as you."

He laughed humorlessly. "Obviously I'm not or I wouldn't be here."

It was silent again. The sounds of a teen party drifted through the air. A game of beer pong and another game of flip cup were happening in the back yard. Music was on, but low, in the living room. Chatter floated around us.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You could do so much better."

I pulled my arms tight around myself. "I can't see it."

He made a popping sound. "Want to go for a ride?"

I looked at him. "Where?"

He shrugged and met my gaze. "Anywhere but here."

I studied him. His eyes were clear and I couldn't smell any beer on him.

Conner smiled. "I'm clean, honest."

I smiled back faintly, but bit my lip and looked behind me. "Tyler…."

He rolled his eyes. "We'll be back before his tantrum is over."

He held his hand out to me and I took it hesitantly. He helped me into his car, a Ford Escort, and then closed the door behind me. He started the car and rolled down the windows and then we pulled away.

I watched the city blur around us. The lights flicked past the window, people grew bigger as we approached and smaller once we passed, houses and buildings raced past us. There was something oddly calming about driving with Conner.

He pulled down a gravel road. I watched him as he smiled. Trees passed us and soon we were in a clearing dominated by a crystal clear pond. He cut the engine and the silence was piercing around us. Conner helped me out of the car and we both climbed on the hood of his car to watch the night.

"It's perfect," I whispered.

He nodded. "Yeah, my dad and I used to fish out here when I was a kid. Of course, that was before he died. Now it's all my mom can do to try to keep me away from here. More for her sake, than mine, but I don't care. This is the only place that he's still alive, you know?"

I touched his arm sympathetically. "I'm so sorry Conner. I…."

He smiled. "Hey, no sweat."

We lapsed into silence once again. The night was still and perfect in the clearing and it helped to clear my head faster than I would have thought possible.

He watched me. "Of course, it's also the perfect place to be when you come down."

I smiled faintly. "This is the worst part."

He shrugged. "There are ups and downs for everything."

A breeze rippled in the clearing, ruffling the tall grass, and I shivered. Conner shrugged out of his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, then pulled me closer to him to keep me warm.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Anytime."

!#$#!

We stayed in the clearing much longer than he had expected. Tyler was standing on the porch when we finally came back. Conner cut the engine.

"Well, here goes everything," I sighed.

"Damn, I'm sorry. I just kind of…I didn't mean…," he struggled for words.

I shook my head and handed his jacket back to him. I gave him a small kiss on the cheek and then opened the door.

"Hey, no sweat," I repeated his words with a smile.

He chuckled and shook his head. I closed the door and made my way to Tyler cautiously. He was eerily still. I reached out and touched his arm, but he still made no move other than to narrow his eyes at me.

"Ty," I said quietly.

"Oh, now you want to talk?" he sneered. I stood quietly.

"Why don't you just go back to wherever it was you were with your boyfriend, you fucking slut," he spat. I didn't dare say a word.

It would be over soon. He would kiss me and drag me to his bedroom where he would try to have sex with me. And I would make some excuse and leave, or would I? Tyler had given me everything that I had wanted once upon a time, why couldn't I do the same?

Before I could think anymore, his lips were on mine. I grabbed his hair in my hands and he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist as we stumbled our way in the house and into his bedroom. He threw me down on the bed and I wondered if this was the way I wanted to lose my virginity, to my angry boyfriend, someone that I didn't really even love.

He didn't give me a chance to think. He hovered over me and kissed every inch of my skin. I lifted his shirt off over his head all without breaking our kiss. His hands crawled under my shirt and played at the line of my bra. Our kiss continued to deepen and I didn't see a way out now. But I at least had to tell him.

"Ty," I whispered; it came out as a moan.

He grunted as his lips made their way over my body.

"I'm a virgin," I panted.

He stopped for the slightest second and looked at me, then smiled and continued to play all over my body. His hands gently began to lift my shirt over my head, and this time, I didn't stop him. Deeper and deeper in we went, but he wasn't rushing it.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle," he huffed.

I turned my head to the side but he grabbed my face and kissed me more roughly than he had before. His hand slipped under the waist of my jeans and I moaned again.

-I'd like to tell you that I had sex with Tyler that night; that everything went according to his plan for once, but that's not my luck.-

The minute that he snapped the button on my jeans, everything changed. His hands began to tug my tight jeans down and then it happened.

"Cops!" someone yelled.

Tyler whipped his head toward the door at the mass of people who were scrambling to get out of the house.

"Fuck," he growled and steeled out of the room. He didn't even throw one last glance at me.

I yanked my shirt down over my head and quickly buttoned my jeans before sprinting down the hall. Everyone was trying to get out the back door; they were too far gone to realize how long that would take. I ran into the bathroom and opened the window as far as it would go.

"I got this one," I heard a cop call.

Straddling the window sill, I prepared to jump. One leg out, the rest of me in, a hand grabbed my shoulder roughly. I struggled to pull myself out the window, but he was stronger than I was. He pulled me from the window and I landed on my back.

Looking up, I met a familiar face.

"Ness?" my Grandpa Charlie asked in shock.

Oh, fuck.

A/N: well, tell me what you thought. Short chapter but not a lot happened. Please review and I'll work on the next chapter as soon as I can.
REVIEW!
XOXO
Loves you,
Kelly