Riding In Cars With Boys

Chapter 5 - Saved

Renesmee's POV

I gasped and jolted upright, my heart hammering out a ragged, disjointed rhythm. I placed a hand over my heart and drew in a deep breath, confused and relieved to not find myself in a jail cell. My head spun sickeningly so I lie back down, throwing my arm across my eyes.

There was a groan next to me and the bed shifted. I looked over to find a shirtless Jacob lying next to me. I furrowed my brow in confusion and realized that I didn't remember a thing from the night before.

I glanced under the blanket twisted around the both of us and breathed a sigh of relief when I found I was still clothed, though, not fully. I pulled the blanket tighter around me and tried to fight through the cotton that had taken up residence in my mind, not allowing me to remember any details from the previous night.

Jacob stretched and I watched as his eyes flickered open slowly, squinting at the small amount of light in the room. He offered me a small smile that I returned hesitantly as he rolled to his back and scooted back to rest against the headboard. He yawned and ran a hand through his hair, the other rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"G'morning," he said, sleep thick in his voice, with his trademark smile.

I momentarily pushed my worries to the back of my mind and let myself be swept away in that smile like I always was. Jacob always seemed so happy, no matter what.

I cleared my throat and slowly licked my lips, drawing the comforter tighter around me. "Good morning."

I fidgeted nervously with the edge of the blanket, casting glances in his direction. Jacob remained oblivious to my inner turmoil until I cleared my throat again. He looked at me with a furrowed brow, confusion clearly written on his features.

"Um, Jacob, what….what happened last night?" I asked in small voice.

He frowned, a look of almost irritation crossing his face. "You don't remember?"

I shook my head slowly, wary of the way he glared down at his hands. Then muttered, so low I almost didn't catch it, "Of course you don't fucking remember."

He sighed angrily - almost growling - as he flung the blanket off of him and stepped onto the faded carpeted floor. I averted my eyes quickly from the way his hips disappeared deliciously into a pair of black basketball shorts. He furiously picked up his discarded white t-shirt and threw it over his head quickly.

He whirled back on me with a finger pointed dead center at my chest. "You want to know what happened last night? Fine. I'll fucking tell you what happened last night. You lied to your parents, went to Tyler's house, got completely fucked - as usual - spent the night with your friend Conner, nearly fucked Tyler, and then to put the cherry on top of a fan-fucking-tastic night, you almost got caught by the cops."

I stared wide-eyed at Jacob as he paced the room, fuming, regaling my night. I silently wracked my brain, trying my damndest to remember any semblance of last night. I could vaguely remember the pond with Conner, coming back to an angry Tyler. Everything after that was long forgotten.

I dropped my head in my hands as my head pounded. I shook my head slowly, groaning at the pain that settled in my mind. If what Jacob said was true, then that means the whole being caught by my grandpa was nothing more than a dream - fuck that, a nightmare brought on by a little more recreational drug and alcohol use than I was used to.

Jacob sighed and I felt the depression of the bed as he sank down in front of me. It wasn't until he took me in his strong, warm embrace that I realized I was crying. There were no sobs, no jagged breaths scraping their way in and out of my throat, only big, salty tears that fell from my eyes and splashed against the front of his shirt.

I cried for my mom, and my dad. Two people that loved me unconditionally, with no knowledge about what I did in the time I spent away from home. I cried for my sister, Anastasia, who looked up to me as if I were some hero, not a fuck-up. I cried for Jacob, my best friend, for never caring about his feelings when I dragged him into my game. But mostly I cried for myself, and all the people I'd hurt, intentional or otherwise. I cried because I was done lying. I cried for the person I used to be, and for the person I wanted to become.

Softly, I pushed away from Jacob's chest, one hand rubbing at the mascara tracks beneath my eyes, the other at the wet spot on his chest.

"Sorry," I sniffed, tracing the soft edge of his comforter.

He sighed heavily, lifting my face up to his with a finger. "Nessie, I don't know what's going on, but I want to help." He shrugged helplessly. "You have to let me."

I nodded seriously, leaning forward until my forehead met his shoulder. His strong arms enveloped me again and I relished in his warmth, willing the shaking of my body away. "I don't want to be this person anymore."

He stroked my hair tenderly and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes against the sensation as my stomach was battered with butterflies. "You don't have to be. Let me help."

"It won't be easy," I warned him as my body shook. He held me tighter and pulled the blanket around us. I burrowed myself into the blanket and him, relaxing my muscles one at a time to stop the shaking.

The way my body was acting meant that I'd done more than just weed at the party last night. It also meant I was in for one hell of a morning, and from past experience, it was only going to get worse before it got better.

Lying the both of us down, he pulled me even closer into him, tightening his hold every time I shook. He shook his head and murmured, "Nothing in life is. But you're definitely worth it."

!#$#!

The rest of the morning passed quickly. Jacob and I were our usual selves - for the most part. He was still sketchy about the remaining details of last night, and honestly, it was starting to get on my nerves.

I called my parents to let them know that I was with Jacob, and they were both irritated and relieved. I apologized profusely and told them I'd be home a little later in the day; there was nothing to worry about. Jacob watched me through the entire conversation, his face showing no emotion. That irritated me, too.

Everything was fucking irritating me, especially the shaking of my body and the nausea that twisted my stomach, threatening to up-heave everything, but not actually doing so.

"Fucking stop, would you?" I snapped and Jacob's leg immediately ceased it's incessant shaking. "Thank you."

He sighed dramatically and rubbed a hand down his face. Growing tired of the silence, he flicked the TV on to some fucktarded show and immediately started laughing, shaking the couch again. Deciding that I'd had enough, I stood abruptly, throwing the blanket away from me, and immediately regretted it.

A wave of nausea so strong crashed over me, that I sprinted to the bathroom, dropping to my knees just as my stomach's contents rushed out. Shaking and choking, I continued heaving, even after there was nothing left to expel. Jacob sank to his knees next to me, reaching around me to wad up some toilet paper to ebb the flow of blood from my nose.

"Breathe, Ness," he urged as I choked and spit into the dirty water. He stood abruptly and wet a washcloth to run over my face as the other pulled my hair away from my face. I whimpered quietly and dropped my face to the cool porcelain, allowing it to sooth the overheated flesh. Salty tears welled behind my closed lids and leaked out slowly, staining my cheeks as I continued to breath raggedly.

"Go away," I moaned unintelligibly as he worked to secure my hair away from my face in a ponytail. He wiped away my tears and made sure my nose stopped bleeding before taking me in his arms and carrying me to his bedroom. He tucked the blankets around me as I continued shaking, even though I was way too fucking hot, and placed a bucket by the bedside, just in case.

The last thing I felt was him crawling in next to me, on top of the blankets, placing a sweet, lingering kiss on my overheated cheek before I drifted off to sleep.

!#$#!

When I woke some time later, Jacob was gone, but I could hear his voice faintly. It sounded as though he was on the phone with someone, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he was talking to himself.

I rolled slowly out of bed and stretched my aching body, noting that I wasn't shaking quite so much anymore, and I didn't appear to be nauseous anymore.

I padded silently to the door and pressed my ear against, trying to figure out where Jacob was in the small house. Almost as soon as I touched it, though, he stopped talking, and the creak of his footsteps made their way towards his bedroom. I backed up until my legs hit the bed and sank down, resting my head in my hands.

"Hey, you're awake," he said softly as he opened the door. It clicked shut gently behind him as he crossed the floor to his bed, sinking down next to me. He placed a warm hand on my back and rubbed it for a while, the only sound in the room our quiet breathing.

I tucked my head under his arm and brought my legs up on the bed beside me, hooking an arm around Jacob's waist. He rested his head on top of mine, holding me tight as my eyes filled with tears.

"Am I a monster?" I whispered into his side.

"What?" his angry voice sliced through the silence like the sharp crack of a whip. I cringed, fearful of his answer, and hating the way the word bounced around inside of my skull. He pushed me slightly away from his side, gripping the tops of my arms and staring straight into my eyes.

"Ness, you are not a monster," he spat. Closing his eyes, he squeezed me tight before he let his hands fall away. "You're…honey, you're lost. Everyone gets lost in life. And when we get lost, we wander sometimes, and we eventually find our way back.

"A monster," he muttered, twisting his face in disgust. Without much thought, I reached up and placed a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head in surprise. "What was that for?"

"Thank you," I murmured, resting my chin on his shoulder. "Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for not letting me lose myself."

He sighed and pulled me into a hug, planting a kiss on top of my head. "That's what friends are for."

!#$#!

Jacob agreed to come with me to Tyler's house to help me get my car and my belongings. He was quiet on the drive there, and I had a sinking feeling it was because he was never much of a fan of Tyler's. I'd told Jacob many times that I'd broken up with Tyler, only to go right back to him.

The house was dark, not a light on anywhere inside. The yard had been picked up, but I could only imagine what the inside looked like. I took the steps slowly, but didn't bother knocking. I'd never knocked on Ty's door before, and I wasn't about to start now.

The inside looked the same as it had last night. There was a thick fog hovering around the living room, red plastic cups scattered over every surface imaginable. Even the line of white powder had been left on the coffee table.

Jesus, fuck, that was some dream last night.

I began picking up my things from the living room. A sweatshirt over the desk chair, a pair of shoes by the front door. I turned towards Ty's bedroom, but paused when I saw an unfamiliar figure standing in the doorway.

"Who are you?" She asked, walking towards me. She was wearing only one of his t-shirts, twirling a stand of hair around her finger.

"Who are you?" I countered, crossing my arms over my chest. She smirked dropping her hand and looking behind me at Jacob.

"So you're the little girl that Ty's been trying to get to give it up. He was fucked good and proper last night, sweetheart, don't you worry."

I made a noise in the back of my throat, disgusted by his actions. Even if I didn't care much about him, he had said he'd loved me. And he sort of just…cheated on me.

Ouch. "Right, well, I wasn't really all that concerned about his sex life, but thanks for filling me in. I just came to pick up my things. Where's Ty?"

"In the bedroom," she mumbled, sticking the tip of her finger in her mouth. "I may have worn him out."

"Awesome," I muttered, stepping around her. When I walked into the bedroom, Ty was asleep, lying on his stomach. He must have heard my approach, because he chuckled.

"You come back for more, baby?"

"No, actually, I came back for my things." The sound of my voice caused him to turn over, squinting at me in confusion.

"Ness?"

"Surprise," I enthused with a fake smile. "I sure hope I didn't interrupt anything."

"What are you doing here?" he sat up abruptly, pulling the blanket tight around his lower body.

"I came back to get my things, Ty, don't trouble yourself with getting up." I began pulling open his dresser drawers, overlooking bags upon bags of weed and other goodies and began pulling out my various clothing items. "Oh, pretty sure these aren't mine," I stated, throwing a pair of lacy pink panties at his face.

"Ness, I was gonna tell you," he sighed. He sounded genuinely upset, and I was wondering why I was even that upset to begin with. I was with him for only one thing, and I'd gotten that. He didn't owe me anything. I probably owed him.

I grabbed the last of my things, putting them in the backpack I'd left by the closet. I fought against the tears welling up in my eyes, knowing they were irrational, but feeling powerless to stop them. "When, Ty? When I finally walked in on you going to town? You know what, I was stupid to think you wouldn't go looking for it elsewhere. Have a nice life, Ty. Really. Have fun with your gaggle of girls."

I walked out of the room and ran straight into blondie in the hallway. "Aw, poor baby, leaving so soon?"

"Fuck you," I spat, pushing past her.

"I've got Ty for that," she called after me. I paused and turned, the urge to hit her strong.

"She's not worth it, Ness," Jacob's voice gave me pause. I would've thought he'd left by now, but his hand on my shoulder calmed me. He took my backpack and my hand and together, we walked back to his car.

"Wait, Jacob, where's my car?" I began to panic when I didn't see it anywhere on the street.

"Your friend, Conner, drove it to your house last night."

"Conner called you?" I said out loud, though it was for my own clarification.

We both got into his car, but Jacob hesitated before starting the car. "After you and Ty were about to…you know, someone said the cops had been called. Conner called me from your phone, and he and you drove a couple blocks over and waited for me. Conner offered to take your car home, so I gave him a ride back to his house, and he came back this morning for his car. And the reason you were so sick this morning, even though you said you hadn't done anything more than weed…Ty had been lacing the…blunts…with, you know, other stuff. That's why you felt like you needed to go back every night."

I sat there, staring at him, wondering how he knew all of this, before I realized that he and Conner must be a lot closer than I had imagined. Jacob started the car then, and when we pulled up at my house, I was reluctant to let him go.

"Would you like to, um…maybe have dinner with us? At least come inside and just…hang out or something?"

The smile he gave me was small. It told me how much he wanted to, but it also told me we had a long road ahead of us. But I knew Jacob would always be right by my side.

"I'd love to."

Hi. I'm sorry this took so long to get out. I wrote this chapter and re-wrote it and re-wrote it again, then left it alone, and finally made it my bitch. I know it's short, but I wanted to give you guys something, if there are even any of you left. Hopefully with the completion of Wings, I'll be able to get back into my other stories.

Much love xoxo