Spoilers: surely by this point you've figured this out already?
Disclaimer: Do I look like JKR? Hey! Who are you calling short!
Birthday Surprises
It was eight o'clock in the morning when his Aunt Petunia yelled that it was time for breakfast. Time for breakfast? Harry thought fuzzily. I haven't even made it yet!
By the time he had brushed his teeth and gotten dressed, in Seamus' Lion shirt and one of the less horrible pairs of Dudley's cast-off jeans, he had figured it out. It was his birthday. And evidently the Dursleys were going to treat him nicely, (or as nicely as the Dursleys could) for once, not wanting him to complain about his relatives behaviour when the Order picked him up, which Harry had been assured would happen earlier in the summer than it usually did. Well, Harry thought, this should be fun!
As he walked into the kitchen he saw that Dudley was staring balefully at the plate across from him which held four rashers of beautifully cooked bacon, a mound of fluffy scrambled eggs, two fat sausages, plum tomatoes and a slice of fried bread. He was probably shocked to see quite that much food on Harry's plate. Then he glanced over at Dudley's own plate and realised that while there was definitely more there, it wasn't nearly so much more as usual. He probably felt deprived.
'Well, sit down boy!' his Aunt Petunia snapped out. 'Don't want to waste it.'
He sat, still slightly shocked but feeling his Inner Slytherin rubbing his hands in glee at having the Dursleys pandering to him for once. He smiled at the image. Even with the letters going out to the Order every three days the Dursleys had managed to make their dislike of their nephew more than plain. They just tried to be a bit more subtle at it. Though subtle wasn't a word which really fit any of them very well.
But for his birthday, a day the Order was sure to quiz him on, a day they would be expected to make an effort on, well, it really wouldn't do for them to ignore it as they usually did. That would be sure to be passed along in his next letter. No, they were forced to do something, so they could at least claim to have made some sort of effort. Even if it wasn't much of an effort.
Harry didn't really expect them to do much to celebrate his birthday, he would probably keel over and save Voldemort the hassle of killing him if they had, but hey, with his family, any sort of effort was better than usual.
'Thank you Aunt Petunia,' he said, reaching across the table to help himself to some apple juice. It was nice to have something other than Pumpkin Juice with meals sometimes. Uncle Vernon grunted something that sounded suspiciously like Happy Birthday, or what Happy Birthday would sound like if, say, Dumbledore had made Snape say it to Sirius. Or Ron to Malfoy.
'Good Morning Uncle Vernon, Dudley.' Dudley was still glaring at him while he forked enormous mouthfuls of food into his mouth. Harry knew that Dudley was going to make his parents pay, through the nose, for this, but truthfully he couldn't bring himself to care.
He thought of it as his birthday gift from his relatives, the knowledge that not only was the fact that they were forced to treat him in a half-way civilised fashion by the threat of the Order seriously annoying all of them but that Dudley was sure to make his parents suffer for the indignity. What more could an unwanted nephew ask for? He beamed round at them all.
Harry was rather enjoying the luxury of having the Dursleys treat him almost like a member of the family, having been allowed a bit of a lie-in, being fed breakfast and treated with actual civility. Or as close as the Dursleys were ever likely to get. He wondered what on earth they would do next. He didn't have to wonder long.
'Duddems, if you could go and get the package on my bed for mummy please?' Aunt Petunia sounded as if she was speaking through clenched teeth, which she probably was - that smile did look awfully strained. Dudley was obviously trying for a pained look over the nickname and anger and resentment over what he was about to do but somehow only managed to look rather constipated.
He stomped off up the stairs while Harry tried to process what he'd just heard. A package? Did that mean the Dursleys were actually going to give him a present?! Dudley came back with a box which was wrapped up in old Christmas wrapping paper, but was still sparkly, and it was sporting a somewhat squashed yellow ribbon on top. Harry felt like sliding off his chair in a faint. Guess it did.
Dudley shoved it across the table at him with a muttered 'Happy Birthday.' Harry stared at it in shock for a moment before picking it up. He wondered what on earth it could be. They wouldn't dare give him a tissue or an old sock this time but somehow he just couldn't wrap his head around one of them going out and actually buying something for him.
'Um, thank you Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, Dudley.' He started to unwrap the present, somewhat impatient to know what exactly the Dursleys thought would make him a good, or should that be adequate, birthday present. He revealed a small brown box and reached inside it to pull out…a mobile phone? They'd actually bought him a …wait a minute.
That phone looked familiar. He checked. Yes there was definitely a little scuffing around the edges, and a small dint in the corner, as if the phone had been thrown around or knocked about carelessly. Which it probably had. It was Dudley's old mobile.
His faith in the Dursleys essential natures once again confirmed he gave them a bright smile and told them it was just what he'd wanted. Truth to tell he really wasn't disappointed, it was miles better than anything else they'd ever given him and for something that had once belonged to Dudley it was in an amazingly good condition. Probably because he'd only gotten his new, top-of-the-range phone about a week ago. Dudley used his phone like a status symbol, always flashing it around - so he had to take a certain amount of care of it.
'Really,' he assured the Dursleys. 'It's wonderful.' They probably thought that since he was a wizard it would be utterly useless to him. A useless, second-hand gift that showed him exactly how much they cared about his birthday while at the same time being one he couldn't really complain about and get them into trouble for. He wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of thinking they were right.
Besides, he knew an awful lot of Muggleborn and Half-Blood witches and wizards. Having his own number was sure to come in very handy. No more problems with Ron getting his Uncle if he phoned the house, a number that Hermione could use at any time - this was probably the best Muggle present he could have been given. He beamed at his relatives as he stood up from the table.
'Thanks again. I'll just go and put this away safely,' he said, moving towards the stairs. The Dursleys looked rather disappointed that he wasn't upset.
'You'll have to pay for your own credit of course.' Aunt Petunia bit out.
'Of course,' he replied, gathering up the other things that had come with the phone, the charger and one or two other bits and pieces that he didn't stop to investigate and heading up the stairs towards his room. 'I'll be down in a moment to help with the dishes.'
Harry closed the door to his room and laughed softly remembering the disgruntled look on their faces. He'd have to ask Hermione if she could get her parents to send him some credit since he highly doubted any of the shops in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade had any. And she probably had more idea about how to work the phone than he did anyways. He put it with the pile of things to be sorted out and put away and turned to head back downstairs when he heard a short burst of beautiful music.
'Fawkes!' he exclaimed. 'What are you doing here?' The phoenix gave him an amused look and cocked his head towards the scroll tied to his leg. 'Oh, a message. Sorry about that Fawkes, I'm just having a bit of an unusual day.' He smiled as the bird trilled a few understanding notes and opened the message.
Dear Harry,
Happy Birthday dear boy. I have sent this message with Fawkes as he is far less likely to be intercepted than any owl. I will not give you exact times nor say exactly who is coming but I would recommend that you pack your trunk as early as possible. The person sent to collect you will no doubt wish to make sure that you are in fact you so do not be offended by anything they ask, from what I have heard of the last time you were picked up you will no doubt reciprocate in kind.
Yours truly,
Albus Dumbledore.
That was Dumbledore alright; he never came right out and said anything although Harry could see the reasoning behind it this time. Still it sounded like he might be escaping Privet Drive sometime today, certainly sometime soon. Perhaps he had better start packing his trunk immediately; he did have rather more than usual to pack after all. He bounded down the stairs.
'Aunt Petunia! I've just had a letter from my Headmaster and he wants me to pack as quickly as I can since he isn't sure at exactly what time I'll be getting picked up. After all I wouldn't want them to have to wait around at all.' His Aunt had been looking decidedly annoyed at the start of his little speech but had progressed to looking a little green, no doubt wondering what the neighbours were going to think when a bunch of wizards showed up.
She paused and Harry could almost see the wheels turning in her head. If she made him do the dishes and his other 'daily chores,' then the Order might show up when he wasn't all prepared to go. They would have to wait for him. If she made them wait outside then the neighbours would talk, and if she didn't…then they'd have to wait in the house. In her house. She might even have to entertain them.
Harry knew when she blanched that she was remembering the havoc the Weasleys had caused in just a few short minutes when they picked him up for the Quidditch World Cup. In fact, she was in the same sort of dilemma that Uncle Vernon had been that summer. Letting him out of chores would make him happy but making him do them would mean putting up with him, and his friends, longer than she had to.
She waved him back upstairs and Harry grinned widely to himself. Even if the Order didn't show up before lunch he had gotten out of chores and could spend his time happily away from his family, shut up in his room for a while, sorting out his new belongings. He certainly wasn't going to hurry down as soon as he was finished either!
As a matter of fact it wasn't long after lunch, which was some hours past the time when Harry had finished arranging all his belongings in his trunk to his satisfaction, that the Order arrived. He had spent the intervening time meditating and concentrating on reinforcing his mental barriers, which bore quite a resemblance to the walls of Hogwarts, since he hadn't had time to practice before breakfast.
There was a knock on the door, which Harry rushed to answer, wand firmly tucked in his arm holster. He opened the door and smiled at the motley collection of Wizards and Witches stood on the Dursleys doorstep, naturally there wasn't just one as, if the letter had been intercepted, hopefully the enemy wouldn't have been prepared when this many showed up.
'Hey Harry!' Charlie Weasley smiled. 'What would Hagrid name a Norwegian Ridgeback?'
That was an easy enough question. 'Norbert' he grinned back.
Charlie nodded his head at the bowler hatted Moody. 'Are you all packed?' he growled. 'And where's your wand? Not leaving it lying about are you?'
'Ready when you are.' Harry smiled at the retired Auror and pushed his sleeve up slightly. 'And I don't go anywhere without my wand these days. Though now I'm in no danger of losing a buttock!' Charlie snorted at that. 'But first, Charlie what did the twins use that dragon dung you sent them for?'
'What, oh before the World Cup. They stuck it in Percy's in-tray; they were needling him about that for weeks afterwards.'
'Right Harry, show me to your trunk and we can get going.' That was the currently silver haired Tonks who accompanied Harry indoors as he said a quick goodbye to the Dursleys and grabbed his things, while Moody and Charlie kept an eye on the house and the car. Just in case anyone tried anything. 'Ministry car,' Tonks explained. 'Reinforced wards and everything. Bloody good thing too, otherwise the Muggles would think there was some sort of parade with all the extra cars Moody would have had watching this one. We were lucky to talk him down to an escort of six.'
'Six?' Harry interjected. He'd only seen three so far.
'Shacklebolt's driving and there's two invisible Order members on brooms flanking the car,' she said. 'Not taking any chances.'
'Right,' Harry said and clambered inside with a quick smile to Shacklebolt. Within minutes they were on their way, taking a winding, circuitous road until the invisible members felt sure enough that there was no one following or observing them to go airborne. Harry settled back to enjoy the ride and, at Tonks' prompting, began telling everyone about his birthday so far and thanking them for the presents they had sent.
It didn't take long before they were pulling up in the driveway of Grimmauld Place.
'Harry!' A familiar bushy haired projectile hurled itself at him and he hugged her back with a smile as Ron came out of the door to clap him on the back with a grin.
'Hey Harry.' He said before turning to include his older brothers and the other Order members in the conversation. 'I thought we'd better come and warn you not to go into the kitchens - the twins set up some surprise to welcome you back with mate but somehow it went off a little early, or was set off, and it went all over Snape. Miserable Git went off it at the twins and then Mum came in and started to tell Snape off and when she realised what'd happened she started screaming at the twins. It's bedlam in there! Snape made some snide comment about the way they'd been raised and the twins started yelling at him and mum really blew her stack. The lot of them have been at it for over ten minutes! We're lucky Lupin thought to put a silencing charm up otherwise that old cow on the wall'd be joining in.' He gestured, rudely, at the portrait of Mrs Black. 'It's probably safest if we just go put your trunk away and stay there till they calm down.'
Tonks was giggling softly to herself and Charlie was smiling. 'I'd best go see if I can help,' he said. 'I'll come let you know when it's safe to come down.'
'Cheers bro.' said Ron with a smile. 'Now let's get your trunk. Besides Hermione's going to burst if she doesn't tell someone her OWL results soon.'
'Ronald Weasley!' Hermione smiled at Harry as they walked up the stairs towards the boys room. 'I told my parents already but Mrs Weasleys been wavering between thinking we're really sweet to wait for you before sharing our results and wanting to shake them out of us!'
Harry smiled at that and held open the door as the others walked into the bedroom. Neville was sat cross legged on one of the beds, behind a copy of 'Herbologists Monthly.' He laid it down and smiled at the group as they stuck Harry's trunk at the bottom of his bed.
'Happy Birthday Harry! Did you get my letter?'
'Yeah, thanks Neville, that's one of the best birthday presents I've ever had! Happy Birthday to you too.' Harry smiled at the sandy-haired boy and then turned to look at Ron and Hermione. 'Did you give him our present yet?'
'Ginny's gone to get it now,' said Hermione. 'We've been keeping it in our room.'
Just then Ginny walked in with a brightly wrapped box under her arm. 'Hi Harry, Happy Birthday.'
'Hi Ginny. Thanks for the chocolate frogs, and the cards, I didn't have any of them.'
She smiled back at him as they all moved to sit on Neville's bed as she handed over his birthday present. 'It's something we all chipped in for.' Neville beamed at them as he tore the wrapping paper off to reveal a beautiful box made of a dark wood, with bronze hinges. He opened it and gasped.
'We asked Professor Sprout what you would like and she recommended this set,' Hermione told him. 'She said it should have everything you need.' The four of them watched as Neville reverently handled the shiny tools, from the big, tough pruning shears to the delicate little scissors used for harvesting magical herbs.
'This is wonderful.' He breathed softly. 'This is just incredible, thank you. Thank you sooo much.'
'Happy Birthday Neville.' Harry said again. 'So what else did you get?'
Neville carefully laid the box aside, though his fingers continued running over the glossy wood as he began to talk. 'Well, Uncle Algie and Aunt Enid got me a set of proper gardening robes and the rest of the family got me a subscription to 'Herbologists Monthly,' he said, gesturing towards the magazine. 'and some new plants. Gran got me a book on duelling techniques and she's getting a pond put in my green house so I've got somewhere to grow water plants! I've been wanting to grow some for ages but I never had anywhere to put them. The twins gave me a box of pranks and fireworks and stuff, Seamus and Dean sent sweets and Luna got me some fluffy green earmuffs, what about you?'
Harry began by thanking Ron and Hermione for his gifts before starting to tell them all about the contents of his midnight owl invasion, and soon had them laughing.
'Frilly pink knickers?' Ron almost choked, he was laughing so hard. 'Someone sent you frilly pink knickers?' He wasn't so impressed with the Dursleys gift but took Hermione's word for it that a mobile fellytone could be useful, even for a wizard.
'So,' Ginny asked eagerly once they had all calmed down. 'What did you all get on your OWL's? I've been dying to find out!'
A moments rummaging later all three had their Hogwarts letters out. 'All right,' Hermione said, 'I'll start. From the top?' At everyone's nods she took a breath and began. 'Well, none of you took them but I got Outstandings for both Ancient Runes and Arithmancy.' She smiled. 'Obviously it didn't matter too much that I mistranslated that Rune. OK. Astronomy. Outstanding.'
She turned to Neville who pulled a face. 'Poor.'
Ron was next, he grinned, commiserating with Neville. 'I got Poor too. I never could figure out what Jupiter's moons were made of!'
Harry smiled. 'I got an Acceptable.'
Ron thumped him on the back. 'Well done Harry! You weren't much better than I was at that one!'
Hermione continued. 'Care of Magical Creatures. Outstanding.'
Neville smiled proudly. 'Exceeds Expectations.'
'Outstanding.'
'Outstanding.'
'Charms. Outstanding.'
'Exceeds Expectations.'
'Outstanding.'
'Outstanding.'
Ginny applauded briefly, knowing that all of them, except Hermione of course, had had some trouble with various charms in the past.
'Defence Against the Dark Arts. Outstanding.'
'Outstanding.'
This time Ron thumped Neville on the back in pride and joined him in shooting a grin at Harry as he replied 'Outstanding.'
'Outstanding.'
Ginny cheered. 'Go DA!'
Ron took up the next on the list and laughed. 'Divinations. Dreadful.'
Neville joined in with a second 'Dreadful.'
Harry smiled at them both and said 'Three cheers for Professor Trelawney and her magnificent teaching. I got a Dreadful too.'
Hermione laughed as Ron blew a raspberry. Ginny grinned and said she was very glad she'd taken their advice and gone in for Ancient Runes.
'Herbology. Outstanding.'
Outstanding,' Neville said, blushing slightly with pride.
'No surprise there Nev! I didn't do too badly, got an Exceeds Expectations.' Neville blushed a bit more at the praise.
'Me too. Exceeds Expectations.'
'History of Magic. Outstanding.'
'Poor.'
'Dreadful. And I don't know how anyone could get an O from one of Binns classes!'
'Poor. I was actually surprised to do that well considering what happened. I was expecting a T!'
Hermione smiled at him and continued. 'Potions. Outstanding.'
Neville's grin was almost painfully wide as he said 'Acceptable!' The other three cheered, knowing how very difficult their friend found that particular subject.
'Shows what can happen when you don't have that greasy great bat looming over you!' Ron beamed as he looked around. 'I got an Acceptable too!' There was another round of cheering.
Harry took a deep breath and said 'I don't quite know how but I got…Exceeds Expectations!' The cheers that greeted that remark practically echoed and Harry wouldn't have been surprised if one of the Order members had rushed up to see what on Earth was going on.
'Oh Merlin Harry I wish I could be there to see the snarky gits face when he realises you made it through!' Ron gasped out.
'What about you though Ron, you wanted Potions to be an Auror didn't you?'
'Ah well, I'll just have to move on to my second choice of International Quidditch Star for the Chudley Cannons,' Ron grinned. Ginny muttered something about the chances of becoming an international star while playing for the Cannons under her breath which luckily for everyone escaped Ron's notice entirely. 'And at least I can rest happy in the knowledge that I will never have another lesson with Snape!' As soon as they'd quietened down Hermione began again.
'Well, last but not least Transfiguration. Outstanding.' Her face radiated the pleasure she felt at gaining all O's.
'Acceptable.' Neville said happily, as Transfiguration had never been one of his best subjects.
'Exceeds Expectations,' Ron said, equally happily.
'Exceeds Expectations.' Harry finished with a smile.
Ginny applauded again as everyone smiled round at each other in pleasure and relief that they'd all done so well. Ginny then whipped out her own Hogwarts letter. 'Since you were all determined to keep all this a secret I decided to keep a little secret of my own,' she said as she shook the envelope over her open palm. She held up the badge that fell out for all to see. 'I've been made Fifth Year Prefect!' There were more cheers as they all hugged and congratulated her. 'Now tell me, what have you decided on about these new courses? Mums bound to want to know that too.'
Harry spoke up first. 'Well, I decided to drop Astronomy, Divination and History and signed on for Medimagic, Wandless Magic, Enchantment and the Apparition class.'
'Whoa Harry, that's a fair bit of work you're taking on.' Ron said. 'I decided right away to drop Astronomy, Divination, History and Potions but I wasn't sure about Herbology. I signed up for Medimagic, Wandless Magic, Enchantment and Apparition too though I thought about doing Household Magics as well. I was kind of hovering between Herbology and Household Magic for a while. I mean, Herbology's okay and Household Magic would be a pretty easy course 'cos I know a lot of it from Mum already but in the end I decided not to do either. I mean, last year was hell, mate - and the NEWTs are supposed to be a lot harder. I don't want to overstretch myself.' He seemed surprised that Hermione was looking at him with approval.
'I think that was very wise Ron,' she said. 'I had lot of trouble deciding. I'm still not entirely sure. I decided to definitely drop History and Herbology, since that isn't my best lesson. But I really wanted to do Medimagic, Wandless Magic, Enchantment, Apparition and Ritual Magic. I don't want to end up like I was in third year again and that's just far too much if I'm only dropping two lessons. I'm considering dropping Astronomy, though I don't really want to, or maybe Care of Magical Creatures though I don't want to do that either! It's a really hard choice and even then I'll still be taking on an awful lot. I think I might have a word with Professor McGonagall when she's next here. Or maybe Professor Lupin. What about you Neville?'
'I'm dropping Astronomy, Divination, Potions and History too,' he said. 'I'm taking Medimagic, Wandless Magic and Apparition though I'm thinking about taking Household Magics. I'm not sure. Gran'd want me to take as many NEWTs as I can but I don't want take on too much either.' He looked a little worried.
'I'm sure you'll both make then right choice.' Harry said. 'Why don't you have a little chat with Professor McGonagall too Neville? See what she says before you decide.'
'I might,' Neville said, looking a little happier. He suddenly jumped as there was a knock on the door. It opened and Charlie stuck his head round with a smile.
'You lot done?' he asked. 'Only it's finally gone quiet and I think you'd best take advantage of that while it lasts!' He ushered the three of them quickly down the stairs towards the kitchen door.
Harry was first to reach it, with Neville right behind him as he opened it to see an enormous enchanted banner stating 'Happy Birthday Harry and Neville!' He jumped as everyone both behind and in front of him shouted 'Surprise!'
Definitely, he thought. This is definitely my best birthday ever.
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