The Divorce Attorney, Ginger

It's crazy to think I've known Andy Flynn for over 20 years now. I can still remember the day I met him. He was in quite a state, and he still ranks up there with being a hard to forget client. My name is Ginger. I've been Andy's attorney for over 20 years, specializing in divorce cases mostly. I do not do any sort of criminal law, just divorce and custodial issues. Andy was one of my first clients, way back in the day when I barely knew what I was doing, fresh out of law school. Knowing the Andy of then, I have no doubt he came to me because I was inexpensive and let's be honest-a pretty 20-something. Even then, I knew that. I was the pretty brunette who most guys did a double take when they heard I was an attorney, surprised there was a brain in my head at all. Back then, I had just graduated from law school, and the only job I could get at the time was at one of those law firms you see advertised everywhere. I'm sure you know the type. Yes, I'd been warned that good firms didn't need to advertise on every bus, television station, and billboard in the city, but when you are desperate, you take whatever job you can get. My grades in law school were average, not that I'm not intelligent; I am, but I just had a lot going on back then. I was working, trying to keep my debt down, and I just didn't have the time to be at the top of my class. I sacrificed my grades to keep myself afloat in other areas. Anyway, I digress. Let's get back to my story with Andy.

Andy came to my dingy office desperate and in need of help. Honestly, he was in need of a shower and a good cup of coffee too. I think he was still drunk that day; he certainly smelled liked he'd been drinking. That I can't forget. He'd called that morning to make a same-day appointment, and I've learned that when people do that, they have probably just been served papers. He had. I found that out. He'd been served at work, which I'm guessing he'd been out drinking all night, had gone to work trying to look like he wasn't drunk, and then he'd been served. Guys like Andy-at least the Andy of then-don't take it well. I'm sure he was still hung over, and here I was, his first stop on the divorce rollercoaster.

I took Andy's case; let's be honest that I was desperate for any work. My student loans were through the roof after four years of undergrad and three years of law school without any help from my parents. Working in law school only helped a little, and then, I was just trying to land on my feet. I remember that just renting an apartment and paying for repairs on my crappy car sucked up almost every dime of the money I had. Food was even a luxury back, then, so of course, when Andy came to me as a client, I took his case. I figured he'd been in and out of my office for a year, and that would be it. He would be out of my life forever. Looking back, I can say I'm surprised to be here, right here, waiting for his wedding to start.

I honestly never thought Andy would sober up to the man he's become. He was in bad shape, really bad shape. I am not sure he was sober even one day I handled his case, and that's saying a lot. We were in court often, as he was trying to at least get visitation with his kids. I warned him he would lose everything if he didn't get his head out of the bottle. Even as a young attorney, I knew that much, but even then, he was too far gone. It was no surprise we lost his case, and that divorce was terrible for him. Andy was only awarded supervised visitation to start, and really, I think that was being generous because he was a police officer. I am still not sure how he managed to go to work each day and perform his job without getting himself into trouble for his drinking. He was just never sober, and the divorce proceedings only intensified his drinking. I struggled with his case, with trying to help him when he didn't even want to help himself, but in the end, I could only get him supervised visitation. When things were finalized, he thanked me, and that almost made me want to cry. He was thanking me for ending his marriage, legally, and leaving him with supervised visits with his kids. That just didn't seem right. His case always stuck with me, and two years after that, I was really surprised to get a call from him again.

"Gin, it's Andy Flynn again. I don't know if you remember me," I can still remember that call. He still calls me 'Gin,' but back then, he started doing it because he told me he liked any lawyer whose name was the same as a liquor. Anyway, it had been two years since I'd heard from him. We'd had some correspondence through the mail with paperwork, but I hadn't spoken to him in two years.

"Andy Flynn, yes, I remember you. Please tell me you aren't getting divorced again," I remember sighing into the phone.

"No," he laughed. "I'm sober though, and you and I know I never was during my divorce. I'm calling to see if we can go back to court."

We did go back to court. His call was to tell me that he was getting his life in order; he'd started AA and wanted to see his kids more than he had been seeing them. More importantly, he wanted to see them without supervision. I had to hand it to him; he did what he was told to do those two years. Most guys wouldn't have done that in his situation. Now, I can't say if he was actually sober for his visits with his kids, but he did show up for each visit. We talked that day, and a few weeks later, we had all the necessary paperwork filed to go back to court. I remember that day too. He looked good, better, healthy. Because of his busy schedule, we'd only discussed matters over the phone, so that day back in court was the first time I'd seen him in a long time. He brought his friend with him too, and I'm sitting here laughing today in this church because that friend, Louie Provenza is up there, still by his side.

That day in court went much better for Andy, and I have to admit, by then,I had been practicing law for a few years, so I had a better grasp on things too. I often joke Andy and I are alike; we've improved with age. It's definitely true. I was still at that same firm, but I had been eyeing a move. Andy's case seemed to give me the confidence to step out, to look for a better job. After the judge awarded him monthly visits, unsupervised, I started to look for a new firm.

Andy and I stayed in touch after that partly because the judge had told Andy to give it six months of visits before asking for additional time. I think the judge was worried Andy would fall off the wagon, and I was too. He was newly sober, and I knew it was a day by day thing, still is. I have to hand it to Andy; he followed the guidelines. One of the things I love about Andy is his love for his kids. He would and has done anything for him. It took almost losing them forever to get him to put his life back together. His ex-wife, Sandra, yes, I have known her all through this, tried to protect the kids, but it's hard to protect them from their own father when he's going through all the steps to be a better person. Over the years, I've not spoken much to her directly, but she's been part of all this too. Back then, she despised the idea of letting the kids near him, and I have to say, I almost can't blame her. However, as the years went on, I felt like she was still stuck on the bad parts, stuck in the past because she refused to see Andy was changing. Through all of this, his kids have always been stuck in the middle, told one thing by their mom and then left to see if their dad would stay sober. Divorce and drinking-wow, it's crazy just how much those issues can change a family.

As the kids grew older and Andy's sobriety continued, we lobbied for more. His visits were upgraded to once every other weekend. Eventually, that was amended to add two weeks in the summer, which sounds crazy with the parents living in the same city, but Sandra was not happy about allowing the kids to spend any extra time with Andy. He fought hard for those two weeks, and after he won that, he would always arrange his work schedule to take the bulk of his vacation time during their visit. He didn't want anything to come up regarding his time with the kids. At this point, they were teenagers, so it wasn't just an easy, fun time. No, he would come into my office and complain about the kids, that they weren't interested in being with him, that Sandra had "poisoned" their minds with tales of him, and that it broke his heart to see them miserable during his times with them. He still stuck it out. That always impressed me.

Andy also impressed me in his willingness to support his kids. Yes, the divorce was ugly, and a child support settlement was reached. He never missed a payment, and I even remember a conversation I had with him after he'd gotten sober and won his once a moth visitation.

"I'm allowed to pay more than the required child support, right?" Andy asked me as we left the courthouse. I turned to him, surprised at his comment.

"Yes, of course," I shook my head. "You want to pay more than what you've been ordered to pay by the court?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I want to contribute to their college accounts and all. Aside from the kids, my apartment, and my car, I really don't spend money on anything. They are my kids. I can still buy them things, right, even if they aren't living with me?"

"Let's talk. We'll figure out exactly the best plan for you," I gave him a small smile.

And, we did. I referred Andy to an accounting and investing firm where they helped him with the college accounts for the kids. He put money into those each month, and when the kids went to college, he paid for well over half of their expenses. He also helped with their cars and insurance. After Sandra got remarried, he took the alimony money he'd been ordered to pay her and put it towards the kids. Andy lived on little so his kids could live as normal a life as possible even without him there. Andy never wanted his kids to suffer, even when the divorce was as messy as it was. They did suffer, but financially, they were always well taken care of because Andy made it a priority.

As the kids turned 18 and were legally considered adults, I remember telling him that he was no longer required to send monthly payments to them. I was never advocating for him to not send his kids money, but as his legal counsel, I was just advising him that he legally did not have to send anything on any sort of schedule. He joked with me when they turned 18 and said he'd just start saving for their weddings. So, yes, when Nicole got married, he had the money to pay for it, but I know he was irritated that she had decided to have such a lavish wedding. He'd tried to convince her to have a smaller affair and said he would even give her the cash, but she wanted the storybook wedding.

Looking around here today, it does look like a storybook wedding for Andy. He deserves it; he deserves to be happy. I really am happy for him, especially when I think back over these past decades. I'm also honestly surprised he'd settled down. I know I'm not alone in saying this, but Andy did try to date me way back when after he'd sobered up and won visitation with his kids. That still sticks out in my mind too.

"You know, I'm really working hard to get my life back on track," he told me on the courthouse steps as we discussed the specifics of the case.

"I know, Andy. The judge saw that too. I'm proud of you," I remember reaching over and squeezing his arm with my briefcase clutched in my other arm. He looked at me, and those eyes, I could see it. He smiled at me, and then he just said it.

"Gin, you've been so good to me. I can't thank you enough for sticking with me, for being by my side. Would you like to go out with me? I like you. You get me. Are you interested in more?" Andy asked.

I glanced to the ground, and I took a deep breath. His offer was very tempting. He was so good looking; I had noticed that on more than one occasion. He was charming too, even if I hadn't seen much of that side of him yet. It took all my willpower to look him in the eye and turn him down that day.

"Andy, I think we need to remain professional. It's just too much. I'm better as your lawyer. You're newly sober, have this new custody agreement starting with your kids, are doing so much, so why don't you focus on that. You don't need a new relationship too," I explained.

Andy glanced down and sighed. He nodded, "Yeah, the program, AA, suggests we not get into a new relationship. I am not sure I agree with it, but yeah, that's what they say too. I was just, I don't know, hopeful. You're alone; I'm alone," he looked me in the eyes and shrugged. "We could offer that comfort to each other."

I just nodded. Oh, that man. He almost won me over then. I took a deep breath and carefully thought out my next words. I so wanted to accept his offer. I would have gone home with him that night had I not been trying to be the bigger person. "It's for the best, Andy," I smiled softly and nodded at him.

He returned the nod. He glanced away then, but he turned back to me and shrugged, "At least let me take you to dinner. I can take my lawyer to dinner, right? I appreciate what you've done, and we can do that, can't we?"

So, we had dinner that night. Oh, it would have been so easy to lean in and kiss him, to hold his hand, to even follow him home, but I didn't. When I got back to my own apartment that night, I told myself that I'd done the right thing, and I still know I did. It wasn't easy, though. Even that night, I picked up my phone three or four times to call him and tell him he could come over, that I was overthinking things and would like to see him, but I never did. It was for the best. He needed to focus on his sobriety and his family before he could focus on his love life.

I think knowing all I do about Andy, I can say Sharon is the right person for him. I know some of her story too; she's been on the receiving end of the drunk husband. I've heard of Jack's name in the legal world, but I've never met him. Sharon entered Andy's life at the right time. I know that. As Andy and I worked together through his kids' teen years, I thought about suggesting a date often. I thought about asking him if he wanted to date me. By then, he'd straightened out his life, and I could see that. I never did ask him, telling myself that we had a good working relationship that I didn't want to jeopardize. Plus, as the kids grew up, he started dating more, and I heard things about that, about his playboy style reputation. I didn't want that either. Sharon, I can say, has changed all that. I haven't heard any grumbling about Andy for years now, and I know it's due to Sharon. The two met at the right point in their lives, and I'm so happy for both of them. I'm sure it's odd to invite your divorce attorney to your second wedding, but Andy and I have been through a lot together. He's become a life-long friend.

I can safely say as I sit here today, that I am sure Andy will never be a client of mine again. I'm grateful for that. I helped him through a very rocky time in his life, and it's nice to see he's come through that and is happy again today. The drunk Andy I remember from his divorce proceedings is no more. What I see in front of me is a happy, confident, successful man who is marrying a wonderful woman. Divorce attorneys rarely see happy clients, and while it's taken over 20 years, I'm seeing one today.

As for me, I never did marry. I have moved up the ladder and work at a very successful firm now. Work is my life. I don't date much, but I'm still very much aware of a good looking man when I see one. Andy looks wonderful today. He's happy and healthy once again. I'm so very glad he and I have stayed friends all these years, and even more, that I was invited here today to celebrate with him. I'm hoping to see the kids too. It's been a long time since I've seen Nicole or Nathan. I hope they know what a wonderful man their dad is and just how much he's fought for them all these years. Oh, I'm going to enjoy this wedding because tomorrow morning, I meet a new client. Maybe I can offer some hope to that client, that even with these dark days ahead, happiness can eventually be found.