The Twelve Heavenly Chores of Saotome Ranma-sama

Chapter 3: Changes

Akane and Nabiki insisted on taking Kasumi out to the local for a bath and from there they would take Kasumi shopping for clothes. After a few minutes of faux protest, Kasumi agreed to go. She wanted to make a clean breast of everything prior to running off with a Kami like Hermes. Nihonjin are at their most honest once they have their clothes off and are in a nice comfortable furo full of other people.

Nerima-cho had but one small bath house owing largely to the predations of Happosai. It was old and tiny, so the ladies Tendou decided that they could and would find better over in Ikebukuro. They boarded a bus to go to the Seibu line station in Nerima.

The look on Soun's face as the three girls left chattering and giggling as though they were exotic birds with new feathers was priceless.

My eldest is about to date a Greek Kami? Soun's eyes suddenly burned with tears of - well - he did not know what it was that made him cry. My saintly daughter is about to disappear with a Greek Kami with a less than stellar reputation, but who am I, a man who's family name means "Heavenly Way, to defy a Kami, even if that Kami is part of the Greek pantheon. What can a mere mortal like me do? Would anyone have me dare to defy a God? It just isn't fair!

Ranma knew exactly what to do. He called the Ucchan.

"Ucchan?" He said into the phone when she picked up and said, "Moshi-moshi!"

"Ran-chan?" Ukyou asked. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me, Ucchan," Ranma said.

"You haven't said a word to me since that silly wedding," Ukyou said. "I gave up on you."

"Yeah, I heard something 'bout that," Ranma said. "That's why I think it's safe ta call ya."

"Oh, really?" Ukyou said. "Safe for who, you?"

"Ya gotta help me, Ucchan," Ranma said. "We are still friends, right?"

This was answered by a prolonged silence. "I don't know if Konatsu would approve, Ran-chan," Ukyou said. "I mean, I really had my entire life tied to your selfish ass."

"Yeah, well, its time ta let bygones be bygones," Ranma said. "For the longest I didn't know what ta do. Things just sorta worked out on their own."

Another prolonged silence ensued.

"What can I do for ya, Ran-chan," Ukyou asked in clipped tones. "I gotta boomin' business to run here."

"That's what I had in mind," Ranma said. "Think ya could whip up a half dozen Hiroshima style okonomiyaki for me?"

"What's the matter, Ran-chan? Akane cook again?"

"Nah, she went with Nabiki and Kasumi to Ikebukuro. They're goin' shoppin'."

"Oh, yeah!" Ukyou was enthused by the very mention of the place. "I hear that there's a new all girls sentou over there. I've been meaning to give it a try."

"Yeah, modern times change," Ranma said. He forced himself to grin so that Ukyou would hear it in his voice.

"Ever think about hiring on as a sansuke, there?" Ukyou asked. "I'm sure they'd hire a good lookin' guy like you for the ladies to ogle."

"Oh, I thought about hirin' on as a yuna, but you know me and water," Rama said, still grinning.

Gee, I hope she's still buyin' my act. There's so much bad blood between us this might all be for naught. We both need ta make peace with the past.

Ukyou burst out laughing, much to Ranma's relief.

"Yeah, I can just imagine you and cold water or you and hot water meeting up at just the wrong time in a sentou. Ya know ya gotta pay me now, right?"

"I wouldn't dream of moochin' off ya the way Shit-daddy and I used ta do, Ukyou," Ranma said with a shamed look on his face. He hoped that Ukyou could hear his shame, just as she heard a friendly grin in his voice earlier. How busy are ya tonight?"

"Like I said, business is booming," Ukyou said. "I could use someone here to chop cabbage once in a while. We go through a couple of truck loads of it a day."

"I can just imagine," Ranma said. "I'll talk to Tendou-san about that."

"What? You ain't gonna take it up with your old man?" Ukyou asked. "He's the one that really owes me, ya know."

"Yeah, well, you'll never get so much as a day's worth of real work outta him, Ukyou," Ranma said. The disgust in his voice was genuine. "'Sides, he and Mom aren't around here that much anymore."

"Yeah, I heard that Kasumi finally put her foot down about them hangin' around in her house," Ukyou said. "Where'd they go?"

"Shit-daddy finally got off his sorry ass and rebuilt that house that you, Kodachi and Shampoo tore to tatters. Where there's a sharp blade there's a way."

"Yeah, well, he deserves that, doesn't he?" Ukyou said. "I'll write that off as the interest he owes me for Dad's old yatai. He still owes me the principle."

"Listen, have ya got the time to whip up a half dozen Hiroshima style okonomiyaki?"

"Hiroshima style?" Ukyou asked. "You know I'll hafta make a batter just for them, right?"

"I didn't realize that there was a style of okonomiyaki you didn't know how to make, Ucchan."

Ukyou growled. "The things I do for you! There just ain't no justice! The Kami hate me!"

Ranma bit back his urge to caution Ukyou about talking about the Kami. "I'll pay full price and then some. Name your price."

"No kidding, cash, right?" Ukyou asked. "I usually force bums like you to show me their money before I lift a finger for 'em."

Ranma heaved a heavy sigh. "How much, Ukyou?"

"I'll tell ya what, Ran-chan, you order ten of 'em and pay me a thousand yen each for 'em and I'll make the batter," Ukyou said in a voice that would have made the Antarctic look seem like a balmy resort. "Otherwise, go whistle for yer okonomiyaki."

"Deal!" Ranma said. "It'll be worth it."

"Plus, you gotta pay the delivery boy," Ukyou said. "He doesn't work for free and I won't pay him to deliver squat to you or yours."

"What will he charge me?" Ranma asked.

"He gets twenty-five percent of the order price," Ukyou said. Her voice still held the chill of Antarctic snows.

Ranma checked his pants pocket. He had just been paid for recovering a car from a deadbeat. He was flush, but was not quite in the habit of actually having money in his pockets. Let's see, I got 25,000 yen. That's plenty.

"Still a deal, Ukyou."

"Cash?" Ukyou asked. "None of your worthless IOUs this time?"

"Cash," Ranma said. "I got 25,000 yen on me."

"They'll be there in an hour, Ranma-chan," Ukyou said. Her voice was just a wee bit warmer; it felt as though it had come from Hokkaido this time rather than the South Pole.

"We'll be waitin' on him," Ranma said.

"Yeah, well, you deserve Akane, you know."

Man! I thought I'd never hear her say that, Ranma thought. She and Konatsu must be really gettin' it on. He was careful to make no sign of how pleased he was to creep into his voice.

He opened his mouth to speak, but heard something in the background say, "Wong!"

"Oh! 'Natsu-honey, wouldja put out the scraps for him, please?"

"Sure, Ukyou-sama." Ranma could hear the male kunnoichi's reply in the background.

"Who's him?" Ranma asked. "That guy made chills run up my back."

"It's not a person, silly," Ukyou said. "It's Nerima's new boss alley cat. I call him Mougyuuneko. He kills all the rats and keeps all other doraneko away from this place - as well as several of the nearby yatai."

"Why do ya call it that?" Ranma all but shrieked.

"Well, that's just the impression he gave me when we met," Ukyou said. "If you weren't so afraid of cats you'd probably like him."

"Not a chance, Ucchan!"

"He even understands human speech, I think," Ukyou said with genuine amusement in her voice. "Or at least he acts that way. I even thought about beating him with your picture before inviting you over a couple of times," Ukyou said, "but I don't think he'd hang around if I did. He has very strong likes and dislikes. I have lost more than one customer because of him. Found out later that they were Yakuza."

"See? I got good reason to fear those...those... things!"

"Oh, tell me about it!" Ukyou said. "Mougyuuneko is the reason the Amazons sold the Neko Hanten and went back to China."

Ranma felt a powerful surge in his stomach followed by a tingling on his cheeks. She's gone? He thought. The Old Ghoul and Shampoo are really gone? That's just way too good to be true!

"Why do you think that this...this...thing is responsible for them goin' outta business?"

"From what I heard, Mougyuuneko attacked everyone coming and going from the place," Ukyou said. Ranma could hear the chortling joy in Ukyou's voice. "He became a one cat plague for the Amazons. Cologne just all of sudden put the place up for sale and sent Shampoo and Mousse back to the Bayankala range."

Ranma said nothing. He could not think of a single word to say.

"Ran-chan? You still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," Ranma said. "I'm just speechless is all."

"I can just imagine, Sugar," Ukyou said. "Poor little Ran-chan. Can't stand money and he can't stand pussy. Ain't that a shame?"

"Aw, now you're just bein' mean ta me, Ukyou!"

"Damned right I am, Ranma!" Ukyou shouted. "Do you have any idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep over your worthless ass? Do you?"

"No, but it must've been a lot," Ranma said in a faint voice.

"Damned right there were lots of 'em, you aho!" Ukyou shouted.

Ranma could hear tears welling up in his old friend's voice, but he hardened his heart against her.

I haven't trained this hard just become a cabbage chopper for an okonomiyaki cook, Ranma thought. I just ain't gonna go there! I'm a martial artist and iffen it don't involve fighting I ain't interested.

"I don't think that I have anything else to say to you right now. See ya, Ran-chan," Ukyou said. "Have the cash ready. I'm gonna tell the delivery boy to bring these fancy okonomiyaki back if you don't have it."

"Oh, I got it, Ucchan. I swear!"

"Bye, Ran-chan!" Click.

Ranma set the handset back into its cradle with a quivering hand. He then realized that his shirt was completely soaked through with sweat.

Dammit! I sure hope she gets over this bullshit, Ranma thought. I'd hate to lose my best friend just because Shit-daddy likes to cheat cooks and restaurant owners like the Kuonji. I wonder why he hates them so much? They fed us for nothing most of the time we knew them. For that matter, I wonder why Tendou-san even likes his big chunky ass. It's not as though they have all that much in common other than Happosai.

Ranma's brain raced to yet another unexpected insight. It was like discovery where a vital piece of a puzzle went.

Oh, right, Happosai! He thought. They must have bonded because he heaped all of his shit on 'em. That doesn't mean that Pops would never cross Tendou-san - then again - I wouldn't put it past Tendou to do something horrible to Shit-daddy either. They must've declared a truce a long time ago for some really good reason. Maybe it was because they made a sincere try at killin' Happosai. Who knows? What ever happened, its up ta me and Akane ta deal with it now.

He walked back into the chanoma and sat down. His father was trying to poke enough sake down Soun's throat to make him forget about what his darling Saint Kasumi had decided to do.

I don't really blame Soun for being upset, Ranma thought It upsets me as well, but then I never really and truly believed in anything like the Greek Pantheon. I had been pretty iffy about the Gods of the Japanese Pantheon until I met up with the Phoenix People and Saffron. Even after I defeated Saffron I didn't get it through my head that the Gods were real. Why would I have considered the Greek Pantheon to anything more than a myth? I was as shocked as Nabiki was when They turned out to be real.

I gotta find out if I can talk to this Kami-sama Kasumi holds so much regard for, Ranma thought. He has got to be the trickiest of all the Kami. He figured out a way to make all the other immortals disappear. I think I could learn a thing or two from a God like Him. Now that I know that He's real, I'll make it one of my chores to meet 'im.

Soun stopped blubbering, so Genma touched the sake bottle to his lips. Soun took a long pull off the bottle then went back to crying. This went on for another hour, making it difficult for Ranma to actually think anything trough. Then came a ring at the front gate. Ranma got to his feet.

"That'll be lunch at the gate," Ranma said. "Try not to drink so much that you can't eat. I'll be right back."

Genma put down the bottle of sake and wiped at his mouth with the sleeve of his gee. "Sure thing, boy. What did you order anyway?"

"Okonomiyaki," Ranma said over his shoulder. "Hiroshima style."

"And, I suppose, you are going to pay Ukyou for it?"

"Yes, I am, Shit-daddy!"

"Careful how you talk ta me, boy!"

"Why should I?" Ranma asked. "I got no respect for you - not after that shit you pulled in China this last time. And what you and Akane's dad here pulled on us was even worse."

"Boy, you don't know who you're messin' with! I could..."

"You could what, Pop?" Ranma asked as he turned to face his father; his eyes were hard and lit with dire threats. "You gonna kill me so that you can start over? Better'n you have already tried to kill me, but I'm still here. 'Sides, I'm your meal ticket, remember?"

Genma scowled at his son, but said nothing more. He did not like it when Ranma started playing trumps. Ranma had defeated him out of hand more than once in a straight up fight, and then had gone on to prove that he could be even more of a sneak. There was but little love left between Ranma and his father, and for good reason. The only reason Genma was still alive was because Ranma realized that Genma was his true mentor.

Genma had hammered on Ranma since his early childhood to fashion him into the martial artist he is now. Ranma shuddered to think how the battles in China might have turned out had Genma done one thing less to toughen him up. The only thing that Genma had done wrong was to make a play for the non-existent Tendou fortune. Genma had used Ranma one time too many for financial gain.

"Tell me the truth, boy," Genma said. "You were behind Kasumi putting her foot down, right?"

"Nah, she did that on her own," Ranma said. "I just did nothing and watched her do it is all. You owed Mom a house after all those years you and I stayed on the road. Plus, I had those fiancées because of you, you evil old fart."

"Oh, come on, boy!" Genma shouted. "That shoulda made ya happy! Havin' beautiful girls chasin' ya around? You are either an okama or an ingrate. I'm not sure which is worse."

"Genma!" Soun shouted. "Go easy, man. He's your son, for crying out loud." Then Soun lapsed back into his crying jag, leaving both Genma and Ranma staring at him with embarrassed looks on their faces.

"I'm going to remember that okama crack, you old bastard!" Ranma said to Genma in a fierce whisper. This actually frightened the redoubtable elder Saotome and Ranma took due notice. Then came another ring at the front gate.

"I gotta go get the okonomiyaki before it gets cold," Ranma said. "Don't give Tendou-san any more to drink until I get back with it. He needs food more than he needs alcohol."

"Yes, master Ranma-sama." Genma mockingly bowed entirely too low. "Whatever your command, Ranma-sama."

"Oh, stick a sock in it, Pop!"

Konatsu patiently waited for Ranma to open the gate. After he thought he had given Ranma more than enough time to show up, he rang the bell again. Konatsu had elected to deliver the okonomiyaki and leave the delivery boy at the Ucchan to help Ukyou with the crowd so that he could talk to this rather dangerous martial artist.

I'm not afraid of Ranma, Konatsu thought. He's only dangerous when he is provoked and it takes a lot to anger him. Besides, I've stalked him and could have killed him many times by now. I just want to prevent any trouble between Ukyou and Akane. I haven't met with him or Akane since Ukyou helped Shampoo trash Akane's wedding. We owe them a sincere apology, but Ukyou insists on playing the bitch.

The door in the gate opened with a loud creak revealing a preoccupied Ranma.

"Oh! She sent you instead of your delivery guy. How's it been, Kenzan-kun?"

"It has been heavenly, Saotome-sama," Konatsu answered. "Thank you for asking."

"I - uh - No problem, Kenzan-kun," Ranma said, clearly embarrassed.

"I thought that business had gotten so good that you guys were hiring part timers to deliver."

"We have, but I wanted to speak with you personally, Saotome-sama," Konatsu said. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, but the okonomiyaki is getting' cold," Ranma said. "Why don't we take it inside and talk?"

"Can we speak alone if I go with you?"

"Sure! Akane and her sisters have gone out to spend the evening in Ikebukuro. Nabiki told me that they were going to splurge on all kinds of stuff."

"Is your mother here?" Konatsu asked. It simply will not do to have Nodoka hovering about with that katana of hers. I could not be frank with Ranma with her around and armed.

"Nah, its just me and the two old farts here and they're fast gettin' drunk."

Konatsu felt his face break out into a sunny smile. "Here take these five, Ranma. I'll bring the other five."

They left the delivery scooter out on the curb and went inside Tendo-ke. After they had given half the okonomiyaki to the two middle aged men, neither of whom were happy to see Konatsu let alone the okonomiyaki. They were busy trying to get drunk and did not really want to eat, but now that it was in front of them, they had no other choice. They had to drink their sake and eat at the same time.

Konatsu put on his prettiest and most subservient smile and bowed very low to them as they tore open the boxes and started eating.

Ranma motioned for Konatsu to follow and he fell in behind Ranma. They sat down in the dojo and Ranma tore into one of the okonomiyaki. He had offered Konatsu one, but Konatsu refused it.

"I think that Ukyou and I owe you and Akane an apology..."

"For what?" Ranma asked. "You don't owe us any such thing. Shit-daddy did Ucchan's family wrong, and you never did anything other than stay out the way at that botched wedding of ours."

"So, you're not angry with us?"

"No!" Ranma said. "I mean, my shitty old man scammed her stupid old man back when we were kids. We ain't ever tried to pay her back for that yatai or nothin' so, yeah, she had reason to be angry with us. Shampoo, though is whole 'nother thing. I dread the day I see her again. I might do something that I'll live to regret."

"I think that you have been freed from her claim on you, Ranma," Konatsu said.

"Yeah, Ukyou told me on the phone that some doraneko had driven off so many of their customers that Cologne threw in the towel and returned to China."

"It did not happen like that. Ukyou repeated my lies. All she knows about the Amazons is what I told her and none of it is true."

Ranma gave Konatsu a long puzzled stare.

"What really happened is that our new doraneko, Ukyou-sama calls him Mougyuuneko, mated with Shampoo's cursed form," Konatsu said.

Ranma dropped his okonomiyaki. "She what?"

"They rubbed noses and then she - ah - How can I put this? Shampoo invited him to hump her. You know how cats do that. She crouched and threw her tail to one side. She seemed to have enjoyed the whole thing."

Ranma's jaw sagged until his chin touched his lap, then he recovered.

"You watched this happen?"

"Yes," Konatsu said. "Mougyuuneko is very fierce and extremely intelligent. When Shampoo and Cologne left for China, they took a basket of purple and pink striped kittens with her."

Ranma clapped his hands to both sides of his head so hard that it made Konatsu wince. That had to have really hurt, Konatsu thought. He'll know how hard he just hit himself soon.

But at that moment, Ranma took no notice of his pain. He was staring in open mouthed horror at something in the distance.

"Ranma? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm - here - it's just that - I dunno - I got the same sorta curse and she - in her cursed form - got pregnant?"

"It would seem so," Konatsu said in the most reassuring voice he could muster. "She and her great grandmother left with a basket of kittens. They looked very much as though they were a cross between her cursed form and that of Mougyuuneko."

Ranma shuddered as though he were in acute pain.

Ranma's clearly in agony over this, Konatsu thought. He looks as though someone doused him unexpectedly with a bucket of ice water. Surely he doesn't have any feelings for that witch from China! She's beautiful all right, but she's as selfish and dangerous as anyone can get.

"I'm sorry if you had feelings for Shampoo, but..."

"The only feelings I ever had for Shampoo and her Shit-granny was fear and loathing!" Ranma exclaimed, "And that only became worse after what Shampoo did in China this last time."

"Why? She's a lovely girl and her great grandmother taught you some rather invaluable skills..."

"You don't get it, man!" Ranma shouted. "They want me to be some kind of enslaved gladiator or sumthin' - a stud, maybe. Shampoo never had any real feelin's for me. What wasn't for show was just simple lust. She wanted me to be one of her prizes, that's all."

"What did Cologne want?"

"She wanted what was best for Shampoo!" Ranma shouted. "I only mattered because I whipped Shampoo in a fair fight in public with their whole village watching. Otherwise, they'd a never come ta Japan at all."

"So, I don't understand why your upset about Shampoo yielding to Mougyuuneko."

"'Cause I got the same kinda curse and she got pregnant in her cursed form, that's why."

"Wait, you've been having sex with someone in your cursed form?"

"Yeah," Ranma said, looking sheepish and embarrassed. "Just don't tell anybody, okay?"

"With whom, if you don't mind my asking."

"With who d'ya think? Akane!"

"Akane can't turn into a guy, can she? Did she fall into the spring of drowned man while you guys were in China?"

"Na, we've been having sex while we're both girls," Ranma said looking worried sick. "I don't know what I'll do now."

Konatsu could just barely hold back his laughter. "So you're worried that one or both of you are now pregnant, am I right?"

Ranma nodded his head.

Konatsu burst out into raucous laughter. Ranma looked embarrassed and angry.

"You don't really know anything about sex, do you?" Konatsu choked out between guffaws.

"Ah, no only what I've learned by peeking over the shoulders of those guys that read dirty manga on the trains. Sometimes they look at me when I'm a girl the same way they stare at those damned books. Sometimes they do more than that and I always hurt 'em. I lost count of how many of their goddammed fingers I've broken riding trains in my cursed form."

Konatsu was unable to contain his laughter again. "That is not the way to learn about having sex and making babies, Ranma-sama."

"Oh, yeah?" Ranma was truly puzzled. "Howd'ya mean?"

"I mean that the focus of pornography is not exactly on family planning," Konatsu said. "It's intended to arouse a person so that they will want to have sex. Having babies is the last thing a consumer of pornography wants - at least usually."

"But me and Akane - we...Oh, that felt so good!"

"It was completely harmless, Ranma."

"Huh? Whaddaya mean harmless? Anything that felt that good hasta have a price, right?"

Konatsu giggled at Ranma then burst out laughing again.

"Do you know what sperm is?"

"Ain't it that slippery white shit ya squirt when ya..."

"That's semen, Saotome-sama. It has your sperm in it," Konatsu said, cutting Ranma off before he could embarrass them both.

"What about it?"

"You have to squirt that inside of a girl before she can get pregnant. The same's true for all mammals, not just humans," Konatsu said. He stared at Ranma for a moment with a puzzled frown on his face. "Say, neither your father nor your mother ever discussed this with you, did they?"

Ranma silently shook his head and Konatsu joined him for a couple of shakes.

"You just need to know that two girls making each other have an orgasm will not make either of them pregnant. Only by having an orgasm while you are inside her as a guy will do that. No sperm, no baby."

Ranma stared off into space for a moment. "No wonder Akane insisted on..."

"Yeah, well, she likely learned about sex and having babies from a book she got from Tofu or the school or something," Konatsu said, "Or Kasumi had the talk with her. Either way, she knows more about it than you do."

"I'm just hoping' that the usual rules apply to Jusenkyou victims like me - and - and..."

"I'm fairly certain that they do, Ranma-sama," Konatsu said. "You don't mind if I call you that, do you?"

"You don't hafta be formal with me, Kenzan-kun. We've been buddies for more than a year now."

"Thank you, Ranma-kun," Konatsu said. "It's good to know that I have another close friend."

"No problem, Kenzan-kun," Ranma said. "Dya mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Ask anything you want, Ranma-kun," Konatsu said. "You just told me me some things I'm sure you don't want getting around."

"Yeah, I have, haven't I? Have you and Ucchan - have you - ah..."

"Have we been having sex?" Konatsu asked.

"Yeah."

"She got drunk the night she helped to destroy your wedding," Konatsu said. "She was staggering around the restaurant making a spectacle of herself. Matters got so bad that all the customers left from embarrassment."

Konatsu paused to heave a sigh.

"She finally got so drunk that she couldn't stand up without hanging on to something, so I grabbed her and carried her up to the living quarters on the second floor..."

"So, you took..."

"No, not really," Konatsu said. "She kept getting drunk every night and I kept carrying her up to her bed. One night, several weeks later, she pulled me into bed with her. She was just using me as a comforter, I know, but that has slowly changed just during these last few months. She is falling in love with me a little more each day, now."

"That's pretty much how things got started between me and Akane," Ranma said. "Lucky for us, I was a girl at the time."

Konatsu laughed out loud one more time and clapped Ranma on the shoulder. "I am very happy for you both, but it's time I got back to the Ucchan. Ukyou-sama was trying to survive the evening rush when I left that kid there to help her keep up."

Ranma responded by clapping a hand on Konatsu's shoulder. "Good luck, man. I really and truly wish the two of you well."

"Thanks, Saotome-kun."

"You're welcome, Konatsu-kun."

Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi caught the bus near Tendou-ke and road it to the Shakujikouen Rail station where they caught the Seibu train, one of the newer 4000 series, to Ikebukuro. The train was only about a year old and it still smelled new. They selected a four seat section with two seats facing each other. Akane and Kasumi sat on one side with Nabiki sitting alone on one of the opposite seats facing them. Nabiki had sat down with her back to the direction of travel which, Akane thought, was likely the safest way to travel on any vehicle. Talking on buses and trains in Japan is frowned upon and the Tendou ladies scrupulously observed Japanese etiquette. This gave Akane entirely too much time to think.

Observed from the train, Japanese railways look as though they were tunneled through a forest of buildings and the structural steel placed to support the electrical lines slung over the tracks to supply the trains with power. Akane stared out the window at the passing tangle of structural steel and buildings with deep resentment in her heart.

I hate the mundane things in the world, she thought, not because I find them boring, but because they are so intolerably deceptive. What I can see is not reality. What I see as solid is just delusion. There is always something extra lurking just out of sight.

"What's the matter, Little Sister," Nabiki asked, breaking into Akane's morose revelry. "You're staring out the window as though Shampoo were standing out there taunting you."

Akane gritted her teeth. She did that a lot. It just came to her naturally as though she were meant to do it. It was what would be called a reflex, but now Akane knew that there was good reason for it.

"I just wish that was so, Nabiki!" Akane said in a barking voice. "I'd love it if it were so simple."

Akane suddenly found both of her elder sisters staring at her as though they were worried about her sanity. She did not blame them. She was worried about that herself.

"Things have been wrong ever since we got back from China," Akane said.

"What do you mean, Akane?" Nabiki asked in a soft careful voice.

"I keep seeing things," Akane said in an irritated voice. "Nothing ever looks quite right and when it looks perfectly normal like it does right now, I know it isn't complete."

The sounds of the rolling train prevented the formation of an oppressive silence: the clack of its wheels on the track, the squeal of them when the train negotiated a curve, the delicate tinkle of its alarm sounds, Akane could feel it as much as she could hear it. It was as sticky and as strange as all the other sensations she had been experiencing since her return home from China.

"What have you been seeing, Akane?" Kasumi asked.

"The real you, for starters, Kasumi," Akane said and she meant it. "Not the ever so solicitous motherly you, but the real impish you that takes such hearty relish in being alive. I think that must have been the way you behaved before Mother died."

This took Kasumi aback and she fell into silence. Akane turned her head so that she could see Nabiki and said, "And you all but disappear at times. Sometimes you are nearly transparent, as though you were a ghost. Kasumi doesn't see you at all when you're that way."

Nabiki looked shocked at first, but then she looked as though she had just had a revelation, telling Akane that her observations were accurate.

"Whenever I look at Ranma in his natural form, I can see his girl half hanging around him," Akane said. "Most of the time she's transparent, but sometimes she's nearly solid. She stands around like girl. She walks like a girl. You would never think that she is connected to Ranma in anyway, but she has him as her origin. She loves to flirt with people."

"What about when he's in his cursed form?" Nabiki asked.

"When he's a she, I can see him the same way, only he's never quite transparent enough to see all the way through. He's even more manly as a youkai."

"What happened to you while you were over there, Akane?" Kasumi asked.

Akane drew in a deep breath and exhaled before she answered. "The Phoenix People dug a new pool at Jusenkyou. They threw me into it right after it filled with water. I drowned there."

Nabiki leaned forward and placed her right hand on Akane's knee.

"You did not drown, Akane," Nabiki said. "Feel my hand? You're right here in front of me. You are not a ghost!"

"You know what a hammer I am, Nabiki!" Akane said in a voice that reflected her horror. "I went straight to the bottom of that pool and thrashed about until I drowned. I remember it as though it happened five minutes ago. That was the very worst experience of my entire life."

Now, Kasumi and Nabiki both stared at her horror struck.

"I woke up later in a jail cell inside Mount Phoenix," Akane said in distant voice. "They must have carried my body away after I drowned. I was cold, but dry and they had locked the door. I had to stay there for days until I got mad enough to pull on the door so hard that its lock broke. I wish you could have seen the faces on those guards when that door slid open. It was almost funny. I would have laughed if I hadn't been so desperate to escape."

As the train rumbled and clacked on, Akane noticed a youkai rubbing her ankles. It had once been a piggy bank. I reminded her of P-Chan so much that she giggled at it. She opened her purse and took out a one yen coin, which were still made of aluminum in those days, and dropped it into the slot on the little youkai's back. It squealed and danced away down the aisle.

Kasumi and Nabiki both stared in a mix of amazement and horror.

"What did you just do, Akane?" Kasumi asked.

"Yeah, where'd that coin go?" Nabiki asked.

"Oh, I gave it a youkai piggy bank," Akane answered. "It was so thrilled that it ran off. It'll be back here in a minute with many others."

"Old piggy banks?" Nabiki asked in a dry voice that screamed her doubts at Akane.

"No, silly!" Akane answered. "It will be a variety of them. I'll probably have to give in and go with them. They always drag me off somewhere strange when I give in and take notice of one of them."

"Where will they drag you off to, Akane?" Kasumi now looked frightened.

"I don't know, Kasumi," Akane said. "It's always different. Sometimes it's an old timey village as though the youkai took me back in time; other times the place looks contemporary, just like everything does now. Sometimes the place is so weird that I can't even begin to describe it. I never know what it'll be until I get there with them."

Both Kasumi and Nabiki stared at Akane as though she had suddenly sprouted a spare head from an extra neck. Akane felt her lips twitch as she stifled verbal response that would have offended them. My misery isn't their fault, Akane reminded herself, and it's hard for even me to understand. I shouldn't punish my sisters for it.

Then suddenly she heard the sharp plaintive notes of a ryuuteki, a dragon type flute, that was almost immediately followed by the even more plaintive and haunting chords of the shou. The music playing was the gagaku music that was always played as the bride entered her wedding ceremony at a Shinto shrine. The space around the three girls was now crowded with youkai, most of them were based on various kinds of bamboo lanterns, but there were many based on traditional musical instruments as well. Akane got to her feet, swaying slightly as the train rounded another curve.

"I know you cannot hear the music," Akane said to her now befuddled sisters, "but the youkai want me to attend a wedding between foxes. I'm sure that there will be both rain and sunshine at the same time where we are about to go. You two go have a good time. I'll meet you back at the house."

Before either of them could raise a protest, Akane turned and walked down the length of the car surrounded by the collection of youkai. After the fourth or fifth step they were in the wedding procession and the train was no longer there for her.

Kasumi and Nabiki stared at the departing back of their little sister and gasped as she got smaller and smaller with each step until she simply disappeared. The other passengers were staring in horror as well. Nearly all of them gave Kasumi and Nabiki hard stares before withdrawing into themselves. Nabiki heard one of them mutter, "Serves them right for talking on the train." She and Kasumi burst out laughing and crying at one and the same time.

"Do you think that she will really meet us at home?" Kasumi asked.

"Kasumi, a cat could play the fiddle and a cow could jump over the moon right now and it would not surprise me one bit," Nabiki said. Then she had another thought. Some details that had been nagging at her for years suddenly clicked into place in her head.

"Do me a favor, Big Sister," Nabiki said in a dire voice. "The next time you see P-Chan, try to pour hot water on him before Akane sees him."

"P-Chan?" Kasumi asked. "Why?"

"He's a random return piglet," Nabiki said. "Just as Ryoga is the random return boy. P-Chan wears a yellow and black tiger striped collar while Ryoga wears a yellow and black tiger striped bandanna."

Kasumi gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth. "Kuso uso!"

"Yeah, shitty lie indeed," Nabiki said. "It is beyond me why I didn't realize that Ryoga had a Jusenkyou curse two days after he showed up."

"Do you have any idea what Akane will do to Ranma when finds out about Ryoga?" Kasumi asked.

"Serve him roast pork with garlic and jalapeños?" Nabiki asked with a nasty grin. Kasumi looked nauseated so Nabiki tried another pepper on her. "Roasted piglet with garlic and habañeros, maybe?"

"Gack!" Kasumi choked out. "You say the awfullest things, Nabiki!"

"Well, it is a rather awful situation, isn't it?"

Kasumi rubbed her forehead as she teared up. "Something truly terrible happened to Akane and Ranma in China, Nabiki. They won't talk about it in any detail and neither of them has been the same since they got back."

"They got much worse after that disastrous wedding that Dad and Unka Saotome insisted on," Nabiki said with a derisive snort. "Two grown men who think that they have to knock out their meal ticket before he'll marry the woman he's in love with? Talk about silly old farts!"

"And Auntie Nodoka going right along with them brandishing that awful katana she carries all the time," Kasumi said. "I can't believe that she is willing to kill her only son. The woman's a complete lunatic."

"Well, look at it this way, Sis, you're about to free of us all," Nabiki said. "There's no telling when Hermes will bring you back. Akane's right about you, you know. This is the kind of decision you would have made before Mom died."

"Maybe, I - I - I don't know," Kasumi said. "I think I just suddenly realized that it was time for me to move on out of here, you know? I mean you and Akane are nearly out of school now, and - and-"

"And Daddy has never done a thing about finding you a husband," Nabiki said. "He's such a traditionalist that he should have done something about you long before now. It's an insult."

"Oh, please don't speak of Father, Little Sister," Kasumi said. "It upsets me."

The brakes squealed and the train made the usual bumping noises and the alarm sounds went off as the train pulled into Ikebukuro station. The station at that time was but a covered platform and they found themselves blinking in the bright sunlight as they exited the car.

"Let's go to the Dandelion and get a bowl of ramen," Nabiki said. "Then we'll go to a fine store and get you some new clothing, Kasumi."

"I don't really need any..."

"Oh, bother!" Nabiki shouted cutting Kasumi's protests off. "You've been wearing Mother's old dresses for years now. It's way past time for you to have some finery of your own."

"What sort of place is this ramen shop?" Kasumi asked in her gentle voice. "Is it any good?"

"It is owned and operated by a woman," Nabiki said with a gleam in her eye, "for women. You'll love it. It's just across the street from this platform."

"I hope Akane will be all right," Kasumi said. Her voice sounded plaintive.

"She'll be fine," Nabiki said. "Let's just go eat now, okay?"

"I hope you're right, Nabiki."

"I am. I'm certain of it. Akane has been fighting her way through all kinds of things for years now. I'm pretty sure she can hold her own with even Ranma, to tell you the truth."

"Ranma?" Kasumi asked in an alarmed voice. "Whatever would make you even think such a thing?"

"I just know, okay, Kasumi? I have been watching the two of them since that damned wedding and things have very seriously changed. Akane has her own adventure to live through. Now, its time for you and me to eat."