Guess who's not dead yet! Me! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter, and I hope that there will be another one soon, but life is a thing so that's a problem. I will continue this story, so don't worry, it just might take a bit. Also, sorry if this chapter sucks (cause it probably does).
"UGH!" A thud followed the frustrated exclamation as shaking legs gave out and the owner sank to the mats below the parallel bars.
"You can do this Peter, I believe in you. You've made amazing progress in just this past week alone. It's going to take effort, you just need to not let failure stop you." Peter, who was struggling to lift himself back up onto his currently useless legs, glared at the man, all the while scolding himself for doing so because Craig, his PT, was only trying to help.
It had been a week since he was released from the hospital, and since then, and prior, he's been confined to a wheelchair, with only his toes twitching ever so slightly. The only sign that he could walk again was those toe twitches, so he took the movement where he could get it. In all of his time mulling over physical therapy helping that twitching grow into him walking again, he never thought that it would be so, so painful and aggravating.
He cried out in annoyance as his hand slipped off the bar and he fell yet again. Craig wheeled the teen's chair over and helped Peter up into it. The man smiled, proudly, at the teen, patting him on the shoulder.
"You've made some real progress Peter, even if you feel you haven't. It's a miracle you're alive, and even more so you have feeling below your waist. The fact that in mere weeks you were released from the hospital and have made it to the point where you can stagger a few small steps with support is astounding, and something to be extremely proud of my friend."
"Listen Craig, I know you're trying to make me feel better, but it's not working, so you can just stop." Peter flinched at his stinging tone, but Craig, being the wonderful human he was, merely laughed and pushed Peter's chair through the door of the room and towards the lobby.
"Same time in a couple days? I mean, I would say tomorrow, but of course, you need some time to rest and recoup. Plus, you can practice your exercises in the meantime. You will practice right? I mean, you do want to get better tough guy, so I'd recommend it."
Tony was waiting out front for the teen when Craig came wheeling him out. The billionaire smirked at the pair. Craig, a heavily muscled, dark-skinned veteran, scolding a scrawny teen like a mother scolding a child was quite the sight.
"How'd he do today Craig?"
"Well, Pete doesn't seem very pleased, but I sure am with the progress he's making. I bet he'll be up on his feet and walking no problem within months. I'll see him back here in two days, same time. In the meantime, he's supposed to be doing some exercises that I gave him, so if you wouldn't mind making sure he actually does them, that'd be great."
"I can hear you you know!" Peter had managed to partially slide himself into the front seat of Tony's car, but was slowly sliding out, his chair wheeling away from him until he landed on the cement with an oof. Before Tony could help the kid, Craig scooped him up and helped him get situated in the car, folding up the chair and placing it in the trunk.
"I don't know how I could thank you Craig. I mean, you've helped Peter so much, and it's been a week."
"Don't thank me until I keep my promise of helping Peter get back on his feet. Hell, all the thanks I need is seeing Peter be able to walk again, even if it is assisted. That's ever the only thanks I need. I just want to help my patients the way that someone helped me."
"Well, you are the best of the best here in New York and I have to say, this facility of yours, it's impressive."
"Isn't she? Hardwork and perseverance. Two things that do wonders. I just wanted to give back, and this was the best way I saw fit. You have a nice day now Tony, and I will see you both back in two days."
"Both?"
"I'd like to try something with Peter. He keeps getting in his head and it's not helping him. I think that you being there as a way of encouragement might get him out of his head just enough. Right now, the biggest obstacle is his own mind. It's something you have to overcome and conquer before you can improve. You should try reminding him that he may not ever be 100%, but just being able to walk, even assisted, should be taken as a huge improvement, and something miraculous. You have a nice day Tony."
"You too Craig. Oh, and if you ever need any help, just give me a call."
"Thank you Tony, it appreciated, but not necessary. Remind Peter to do his exercises."
"Will do."
The car ride back to the upstate facility was uneventful. Little was said past pleasantries, and it was merely spent with Tony shooting Peter worried glances while Peter stared wistfully out the window.
Peter snapped at Tony when the man attempted to push his chair, but had to relent control when his body gave out from his intense PT session taking its toll. As soon as the pair entered the building, Peter wheeled into his room, the door sliding shut behind him, leaving Tony to wander into the living area, confused.
"Trust the kid Tony," called a voice from the couch. Tony turned to find Rhodey sitting, legs propped up on the table in front of him, TV volume turned down so the two could talk. "It's a lot to deal with, especially for someone like him. I mean, me falling and getting injured, that was something that I factored in as a possible outcome. Sure it sucked, but I knew what I needed to do, and what I could do. That kid, well, he went to school, came out paralyzed, at least somewhat. Can you even imagine that Tony?"
"No, not really."
"He's a restless teen who was living his life, and suddenly everything was thrown into the air, getting tossed and shuffled, before it all falls back down to earth. Something's got to break on impact. Sometimes it's physical, other times it's emotional. Right now, the kid needs time to cool off. Give him space, give him time to come to terms with it all. Give him time to grieve."
"It's been weeks."
"Yeah, only weeks. There isn't a set time frame for coming to terms with everything that's happened. I mean, he still has nightmares about what happened. Just because he has hope, doesn't negate the negativity floating around him. If you want, I could talk to him, just to give him someone who can relate, to talk to."
"He won't talk to me at all, just shuts me out. What am I doing wrong Rhodey? I mean, I'm trying, but nothing works."
"Well, give me a chance to talk to him, then I'll let you know what I know, if he won't mind. Just be patient man. I know it's not your strong suit and you've literally invented an element because you were impatient, but just give it a try, for the kid."
"Fine, but he better talk to you. He's already driven away about three different therapists, how, I'm not actually sure. All I know is they won't come back, or even call back."
"That's actually kind of impressive, but give me a shot. I'll be back."
Tony watched his best friend stand and stand walking towards Peter's room, leg braces helping all the way.
"Peter? Hey bud, can I come in." Rhodey knocked on the door, wondering if it was okay if he went in without permission, when the door slid open, shutting with a hiss behind him. Peter was lying on his floor, staring at the ceiling, wheelchair against a wall, away from him.
"Hey Mr. Rhodes."
"Peter, you know you can call me Rhodey, or James, or anything but Mr. Rhodes. I mean, it makes me sound like a schoolteacher."
"Okay." Rhodey sat on the edge of Peter's bed with a slight grunt and looked down at the blank-faced teen.
"What's up Peter?"
"Nothing."
"I doubt that. What's running through your mind right now?"
"Everything."
"What everything? Any particular thing stand out?"
"I dunno."
"Alright, you know what, you need to talk to me here Peter, I'm just trying to help you."
"I don't want your help, I don't need your help," Peter said, before softly adding, "I don't deserve your help." Rhodey sighed, easing himself onto the floor beside Peter, but remaining seated. Peter's eyes darted to Rhodey, but then went right back to the ceiling. His hands were folded on his chest, rising and falling with each breath he took.
"Pete, what's going on in your mind? Why do you think you don't deserve help?"
"I couldn't save them." So that's what this is about.
"You did everything you could Peter, there was no way you could have saved everyone, it was statistically improbable." Peter sighed, turning his head towards Rhodey, and the man could only remember flashes of his time during combat where eighteen and nineteen year olds would be returning from firefights, bad ones, eyes glazed over, faces emotionless, looking as though they've aged decades beyond their years. That same look was on this fifteen year old's face, the dead eyes, the broken pieces of hope behind the sorrow. This kid had dealt with so much in his short life and it wasn't fair.
"Kid."
"I shouldn't have survived."
"No, Peter, you-"
"No, everyone keeps saying it's a miracle that I survived, that I should have been dead, or at very least, paralyzed to the point where I shouldn't even have feeling below my waist. I'm not supposed to be alive, and yet somehow, here I am."
"Peter, you're alive because you have a life to live, your whole life ahead of you."
"What about the others? Did they not have lives to live? People who loved them? Cared for them? I mean, I'm just some nerd in the background of my high school who has two whole friends. I have those two friends and my aunt, and that's it. My life isn't exciting, it's not great, it's not worth living," Peter said, the last part in a wavering whisper as his attention turned back to the ceiling, his breaths becoming shaky.
Rhodey didn't want to say anything. Peter was finally talking about what was going on with him, and the man wasn't going to stop the kid from getting stuff off his chest. He needed it. Peter gave a humorless chuckle.
"I told Tony that'd I'd let him know when everything hit me, but I didn't. I lied to him. Everything just kind of came crashing down, shattering as it hit pavement. I'm trying to pick up the pieces, put it back together, but there's so many, and their so small, and I keep making it worse every time, each piece cutting my hands. I need help, but I don't want Tony to see me like this. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I mean, I don't think people even know I'm alive, or at least out of the hospital. MJ and Ned keep trying to call, but I can't bring myself to answer the phone. May keeps trying to find a reason to visit, but I can't put all this on her plate too. She's dealt with too much already, I'd just be a burden on her. I keep coming up with reasons to not have her visit."
"If you don't want anyone to see you like this, why are you telling me?"
"I don't know. Maybe because you understand what it's like to lose something you've been so used to for so long, and suddenly it's just gone and you're stuck trying to pull yourself back up out of the hole you fell in? I dunno."
"Hey kid, don't go shutting up on me yet. We're getting somewhere. If you're comfortable talking with me, that's good. I'm good with it if you are. I don't even have to tell Tony anything if you don't want me too."
"Part of me is saying that I really don't want anything to leave this room, but if you could maybe ask if Tony would want to talk so I could apologize for being a jerk?" Rhodey smiled and patted the kid on the shoulder.
"Sure kid," he said standing, walking to the door, but before leaving, he turned back to Peter. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you on the floor?" Peter blushed red and gave a short, sheepish laugh.
"I kind of fell trying to get onto my bed and just gave up because the floor was comfy."
"Would you like me to help you onto your bed? And move the chair closer?"
"If you don't mind," Peter said in a squeaky, embarrassed voice. Rhodey rolled his eyes with a chuckle before helping the stubborn teen onto the bed, making sure he was comfortable, before going to send Tony in.
Peter spent the time he had from when Rhodey left until Tony walked in trying to figure out what he was going to say. Turns out, he didn't even really need too. As soon as Tony walked in and sat on Peter's bed, the teen burst into tears and the pair hugged, Peter clutching Tony as if the man was a lifeline, and Tony trying to comfort the sobbing teen.
"I'm so sorry Tony, I'm so sorry. I've been a jerk and I broke the promise to tell you when it hit me and it did and I've been so mean and I'm sorry."
"It's okay kid, you're okay."
"No, I'm not."
"Then I'll help you until you are."
"Thank you."
Hey, so, it's kind of short, but I guess it's something right? I'm super sorry that it's taken so long to update, but school sort of hit me hard you know? That and shit's been going down and life, well, life is life. I hope to be updating kind of soonish, but don't take my word for it, I'm really bad at keeping up with myself.
I hope this chapter was acceptable and not too horrendous. Please let me know if it was okay or not, I love love love feedback from you guys.
So, if you feel the need, review, favorite, follow. I love seeing people like my stories, it's a good point in my life.
Peace my peeps.