Python and Bowwow Meet Santa Claus
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the park
not a creature was stirring, not even those of the dark.
On Pena's bungalows, stockings were hung by the chimneys with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Python and Bowwow were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of food danced in their heads.
And with a pillow lying on their heads like a cap,
They had just settled their brains for a long winter's nap.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they ran like a flash,
nosed open the shutter, and stared through the sash.
The full moon on the breast of the gleaming blue sea
gave the lustre of midday to objects they could see,
when, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St. Nick (not really, but it rhymes).
More rapid than argens, the reindeer they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
On, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before a windstorm fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the house-top the reindeer they flew,
with the sleigh full of toys, and Santa Claus too.
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As they drew in their heads and were turning around,
down the chimney Santa came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A large bundle, full of gifts, he had flung on his back,
And, as he landed, he began to open his fur-trimmed sack.
His eyes- they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was jolly and plump, and laughed as Python and Bowwow's tails began to wag
Due to the chocolate and candy canes they could smell in his bag.
He gave Python and Bowwow a pat and a hug.
Before putting an extra big box on the rug.
He said "Dear dino and dog, it's true
This big box is filled with treats made specially for you"
He then, straight away, went back to his work,
and put the other gifts under the tree, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But they heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
I lied, by the way, in order to keep this a surprise. The genesis of this idea was, basically, "why the hell not?". Originally, this had whole verses devoted to mocking political corectness, however, I wanted to keep the simple, funny-but-heartwarming idea of Python and Bowwow meeting Santa. Another idea included a short vignette in which Nick and Lowery teaming up to train a choir of Troodons to sing Weird Al Yankovic's "The Night Santa Went Crazy", in order to film it and put it on YouTube. Another idea was a Dr. Seuss-esque story called "How Grumpy Stole Christmas". It pretty much is explained by the title, with Grumpy as the Grinch and Python as Max. It was also (BLEEP)ing awful and will never see the light of day.
Have a Merry Christmas all, and have a Happy New Year! Except Glarn, who is an asshole and can rot in hell.