A/N Okay, so normally I would never stray from 1xR, however this is a special request from the fabulous Relena For President. Just F.Y.I.

I sincerely tried to focus on solely smexy, but this is the story that apparently needed to be told. My muse led me down a bit of a darker path on this one. But, there's still 3xR smexy. ;-) I own nothing!

He was tall and muscular. His dark blond hair completely covering one eye while the unobscured deep green eye always seemed to sparkle with answers to unspoken questions.

He was strong, confident and intelligent.

He was a superb listener and confidant. One could be sure that their secrets were secure with him. He didn't speak often, yet when he did, it was worth the effort it took to listen.

In some ways he was much like Heero. The man she loved since she was 15 years old. The man who married her on New Year's Eve of her 18th year. The man who left for a classified mission 6 months later. The man who hadn't been heard from in 2 years. She still wore his ring...half in hope and half as a memorial to him and their love.

Fortunately, her job occupied her during the day. However, in the stillness of the night...that's when it was the most difficult. Sleeping in the bed they shared. The bed where they made love. The bed where they shared their desires, fantasies and secrets. The bed where he gave her a gift, the night before he left, as she screamed his name in ecstasy. The memories were too much and yet not enough.

It had been 2 very difficult years since he left. Sometimes she swore her heart would give out from the pain and fear of not knowing. Everyday that slipped by without news was another reason to believe the worst. But giving up was not an option, she had a reason for living.

The first year wouldn't have been so hard if not for her exaggerated emotional state. She tried her best to convince herself that he would be back. In the past he had been notorious for staying away for long stretches of time and then just showing back up out of the blue. Looking back, she realized it was either deep denial or her heightened hormones. As 18 months had passed, she only then started to admit the cruel reality of her situation.

On the two year anniversary of Heero being gone, she shut off her phone, sent the household staff away and took a couple of days off from work. She didn't care what anyone thought, she worked her ass off for the ESUN. She didn't have a body, she couldn't have a funeral, she had no information. She deserved to at least properly mourn her husband and the loss of her future with him. She had drank a bottle of wine by 11AM and was on her way to tipsy when her doorbell rang.

Opening the door she found herself face to face with Trowa. Her protector since Heero left.

"Trowa, what are you doing here? You know I'm not working today."

Trowa gave her an almost sad look.

"I'm not here in a professional capacity today. I thought we could commiserate together?"

He raised up the bottle of whiskey in his hand...Heero's favorite whiskey.

Relena was often times so caught up in her own grief that she forgot she wasn't the only one grieving. Trowa had become her much needed friend and confidant over the past 2 years. He hadn't just fought in a war with Heero, they had become friends as well.

When he walked inside he embraced her in a manner that was as sad as it was comforting. Relena didn't hate being in his arms. In fact lately it became something she could derive the slightest bit of joy from.

Lunch consisted of two mourners sharing a bottle of whiskey while the female cried on the male's broad shoulder. Relena had only ever felt comfortable being so vulnerable with Heero. Over the last 2 years Trowa had not only stepped in to protect her, but he had also become the much needed safe place she could let her guard down.

When the bottle was empty, the two sat on the floor of her living room lost in their own extremely inebriated thoughts, watching how the sun's rays changed from morning light to late afternoon light.

"I'm...so lonely." Relena sobbed into the silence. "I know I'm not alone, I know I have reason to continue...but I feel as if a part of my soul is gone. Sometimes I just feel so...numb."

Trowa turned his head to address her and instead of speaking, his lips brushed hers.

She immediately pulled back and slapped him. In the fog of his own intoxication he was unphased as she looked at him in anger. Then just as quickly as her anger appeared, it turned into something else and she kissed him back.

Unlike his slow tentative kiss, her's was almost aggressive. Her hands found their way into his hair as he pulled her closer.

She was angry, hurting and drunk. She was frustrated in every way a person could be frustrated. All she ever seemed to do lately is cry and feel despair and she was sick of it. She wanted-no she needed to feel something else or she was certain she'd go insane.

His kisses were matching her's as he deepened the kiss. His hands traveled down her back to her firm ass, grabbing her and lifting her up into his lap.

Her hands trailed down the muscles of his back gliding around his waist to his pronounced abs as her hands slipped under his shirt. He broke the kiss and quickly discarded the obstruction. She took the opportunity to remove her shirt as well. She wasn't wearing a bra and at the sight of her bare breasts he immediately started massaging her nipples as he reclaimed her lips. She moaned with pleasure at the feeling of being touched so intimately again.

Locked in the intense kiss, her hands were appreciatively roaming his well toned chest and moving downward. When her hand landed on his belt she rapidly undid it along with his pants.

His powerful arms lifted her as he stood up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His pants fell down as he kicked them off and placed her on the couch. She wasted no time removing her shorts as he ravished her neck.

His hands landed on her hips and his lips found her right nipple, then the left and kissed his way down her stomach. Her hand shot out to his boxer briefs lightly running her fingers over the cloth covered evidence of his arousal.

That's all the prodding he needed as he stood up and removed his last item of concealment and she swiftly removed her panties.

She caught a glimpse of his manhood, so erect and ready for her. He gently placed his himself over her while claiming her lips in a deep kiss that was like a slow burn. She enjoyed the feeling of skin against skin, no barriers.

She secured her legs around his waist as he settled at her core entering her slowly and completely. She gasped at the long ago buried sensation. He rocked his hips in a deliberate action to bring the most satisfaction to the beautiful woman beneath him.

She bucked her hips keeping up with him and together they set a sensually delicious pace.

This most primal act, a wife and her husband's friend coming together as one to try and stave off the pain of loss. Two people who had found the pain to be their initial common ground...only to discover they had so much more in common.

The old familiar feeling of impending completion was flourishing deep within her. Her gasps and moans becoming short and shallow. Her moment of culmination had arrived. She raked her nails down his back as she let out an indefinable sound of satisfaction as the long forgotten feeling of fulfillment came crashing into her like a tidal wave. Once she clamped down on him, his end was simultaneous with her.

The drinking and emotional drain of the day combined with their intense copulation...was like a tranquilizer that knocked them both out locked in each others arms.

The morning was announced by the sun shining through the windows upon the two bare individuals wrapped around each other. Trowa woke first immediately noticing Relena's warm naked body on top of his exposed form. Before he had time to process the situation, she woke and sat up turning away from him as she moved off of him to sit on the floor leaning up against the couch.

Relena remembered what had taken place last night, it was so very different than with Heero, but thoroughly enjoyable. She was certain that no one would ever be like Heero and she knew in her heart that was her preference. She didn't want anyone to ever be like him, that was only for them. She felt as if last night had been her first step in healing, moving forward and putting the pieces of her shattered life back together.

Trowa seemed to absorb the emotions that she was emitting and the fact that she hadn't looked at him sent a pang of panic and sadness through his heart.

"Relena...I...I'm..."

Relena turned to him lightly pressing a finger to his lips, looking at him straight in the eyes. She spoke clearly and with sincerity.

"No, Trowa...please don't.

I grew up in a household where drinking a different liquor with each course of a 6 course meal was the standard once I was 13 years old. I have a high tolerance for alcohol. Yes, I was drunk yesterday, but I still knew what I was doing. I refuse to feel bad about it because you have been my friend and a great deal of comfort to me over the last 2 years. Honestly, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't grown attracted to you. I won't assume to know how you feel about me, but I do know your character. I'm willing to wager you wouldn't have kissed me if you didn't have some sort of feelings for me. There's far too much at stake between us for flippancy. I had honestly felt guilty about my attraction to you and it angered me for so many reasons. However, what happened last night...I don't regret and I hope you don't either. We shared something special. We equally provided each other a reprieve from our misery. What happened to Heero...I'll probably never know, but what I do know is it was his choice to accept the mission. I can't take responsibility for his choices. Even though he took a part of my soul, he left me with a gift, a piece of himself in return. I have to continue to live my life, not only for myself and the good of the world, but for mine and Heero's son. He needs a strong male role model. You've not only been a comfort to me, but you've been so wonderful with him. He lights up when you're around." She smiled at the thought. "I don't honestly know how I would have made it through the last 2 years without you. I sincerely hope you won't go away?" Her voice was barely above a whisper on the last sentence.

Trowa looked at her with an intensity she hadn't witnessed before. He nodded his head as he leaned forward to capture her lips in a soft kiss. As he pulled away, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and asked..."what would you like for breakfast?"

Yeah, so this was hard for my 1xR heart to write, but I'm proud of myself for taking the challenge.

I know this is different. Like I mentioned in the A/N the muse took me down a darker path on this one. Honestly, I was a little inspired from one of my favorite movies Pearl Harbor. I couldn't leave Heero out of the equation completely. ;-) I really tried to provide a different vibe to their sexy scenes than 1xR scenes. I hope it wasn't too traumatic. Haha! I heart y'all!

R&R F&F thanks! 3