~Present Day~

Bellamy marked the sixth set of three hundred and sixty-five days upon the mural which he had been adding to every day that passes. It had been slightly longer than that since Clarke had died but it still stung like a fresh wound that was encountered yesterday. He had followed her advice, he found his sister, found a group and only trusted people who gave him utmost reason to. Most importantly, he moved on.

He found his sister after six months, she was the leader of a group of savages. For a while he stuck with them, stealing from survivors and killing innocent people in order to survive. It took him an additional six months to decide that his sister was irredeemable. She had changed into someone he couldn't recognise. He took into account her losses, including a boy Lincoln who had saved her life earlier in the apocalypse. Bellamy knew loss though, and it only turns you into a fiend if you let it. He was still fighting the temptation to let it. Still fighting the urge to give up, life was lonely and he missed Clarke more than ever.

~One year into the apocalypse~

"Don't worry, Bellamy. Octavia is stronger than you know. She can survive this," Clarke assured, her hair gleaming from the sun above, eyes softening whilst she strokes a soothing hand through his hair.

Clarke had learned how to give Bellamy hope when it seemed like it was beyond his reach. He had days like this, where he didn't know how to cope and she was always there to take some of the burden off his shoulders. He hadn't seen Octavia for over year now, he hadn't seen her since before the apocalypse and he spent his darkest days shadowed in a cloud of guilt and regret.

Clarke and Bellamy were out having dinner when the first warnings were broadcasted. The scene wasn't like in the movies, people weren't running and screaming for their lives, buildings didn't catch fire or anything ridiculous like that. The entire restaurant had stood still, eyes nonchalant as people silently questioned whether it was a hoax. Bellamy had instinctively grabbed Clarke's hand, leading her to his car. Before setting off he turned on the radio, all channels were repeating the emergency broadcast: "All citizens of the United States of America, this is your president speaking. We have been informed that a nuclear power plant failure has affected surrounding civilians. Everyone is urged to stay in their homes and wait for further announcements." By the time Bellamy got home Octavia was gone and the cell towers were down. He promised her he would always look after her ever since she was a little girl and now he wasn't even sure if she was alive.

"I don't think I could ever cope with losing you, Clarke," Bellamy sobbed, nuzzling his face into her lap.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

With that, Clarke kissed the top of his head and wrapped her arms around his body. Clarke always managed to keep him centred, if it wasn't for her he probably would have stirred crazy by now. He was truly, unconditionally, irrevocably in love with her and the thought of losing her caused him more pain than any gunshot or knife wound ever could.

After leaving Octavia and her 'clan' he met two people called Monty and Harper. They were very similar to Clarke and Bellamy in that Monty was the emotionally driven one whereas Harper was the realist who let logic guide her. They helped him during an ambush, saving his life before he could get mauled by a zombie sneaking up on him. He could tell almost immediately that they were honest and kind people, but he followed Clarke's advice and kept his guard up. It took about a year for Bellamy to finally relax around them and by this point he genuinely trusted and believed in them.

After the year they met Raven who was severely injured when a building had collapsed in on her. They were scavenging for supplies when they heard nearby screams. It was Bellamy who cleared the debris and managed to carry her out. It was that point that he and the others decided that spending their lives running wasn't achieving anything. It was time to create a community, a place where life could prosper. The four of them spent the next two years gathering survivors and building in one of the least zombie affected areas. At present they had three hundred and forty-two people living within their walls. Each person contributed to making this way of life thrive. They had doctors, engineers, farmers and builders but most importantly they had hope.

Although things were thriving, Bellamy still counted the days since he had lost Clarke. It had been five years by the time their camp was up and running entirely. He hoped that wherever she was that she was proud of him. Proud of the smart decisions he's made. Understanding of the ones that were less so. Mostly he just hoped that there was a forgiving God who would let them spend eternity together when all of this was over.

His hope intensified when he had met Echo. She was the complete opposite to Clarke in every way, and she could never possibly replace her but she was a positive breath of fresh air and everything Bellamy needed to feel whole again. It was obvious that the apocalypse had taken its toll on her, she had made some brutal decisions, some that Bellamy could reason with, others that he had to block out. She was previously part of a group similar to Octavia's, full of fiends and savages with no morals. However, after the leader had been bitten, the group dispersed and went their separate ways and Echo found herself standing in front of the gates to 'Arkadia', asking for safe entry to which they allowed. The thing that made Echo and Bellamy work was that they both had skeletons in their closets, both had things to answer for, promises that were broken and amends to be made. Mostly, she was the only person that Bellamy could truly open up to about Clarke.

~six months prior to present day~

The day was very quiet, no zombie attacks, no deaths, no thefts. The day seemed oddly perfect. But a day without chaos also meant a whole day to think about Clarke with no distractions. Bellamy couldn't help but think about their old apartment, scattered in drawings and paintings that Clarke had made herself. They had planned to extend their living room and get a fish tank and maybe even a dog one day. Kids were on the horizon but their busy lives and strenuous jobs meant that they needed to wait a few years. Part of Bellamy wished they had sooner, just for the sake of having someone to hold onto that reminded him of her. He knew it was selfish, bringing a child up in this environment was selfish. But when it came to Clarke, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to give up the whole life he had made in 'Arkadia' to go back and be with Clarke. God, he'd give some of his friends lives just to touch her. But that was selfish. Bellamy wondered where this all came from, Clarke had always accused him of thinking too much of others, and here he was now only thinking about himself. She really did keep him centred.

He thought about all of the stupid decisions he's made since Clarke has been gone. Killing Atom as an order from Octavia due to him stealing rations, telling Charlotte to fight her demons resulting in her killing one of the most innocent people he'd met in Octavia's clan. Shooting down ten men after accepting some rations of strange nuts and hallucinating that they were kidnapping Clarke. A tear escaped his eye when he heard a faint voice in the back of his head. "Three-hundred and forty two alive." It was Clarke's voice. Three-hundred and forty-two people, him having at least a small part to play in each and every one of their survivals. He knows that Clarke would be consoling him, reminding him of all the things he has achieved. Reminding him that we sometimes have to do the inexplicable in order to survive.

His thoughts were interrupted by the shuffling of his tent. He was expecting Harper or Raven, they always seemed to sense when he was upset, but he never really told them much. "Just thinking," he'd say. But when Echo entered it was different, almost as if he could feel that her loss was on a similar scale to his and he just let it all out to her.

"I just- Everyone around here has their family, their wives or mothers or children and I have nothing. I have no one. Sometime's I want to kill myself just so I could have the chance of possibly seeing her again. Isn't that fucked?" Bellamy finished, Echo listening intently.

"No. I don't think so at all," Echo said, sitting down next to him as she prepared herself to open up. "I lost my husband," she states flatly, not as a competition or as a way of invalidating his feelings, but just to reassure him that she understands completely.

He pulls up immediately looking straight at her.

"Shit, I'm so sorry, Echo."

She shrugs and offers a small smile.

"In a world like this loss is inevitable. Before this even happened it was inevitable. We just have to keep fighting and keep moving on because otherwise the past will haunt us and prohibit us from winning this goddamn war."

"How do you stay so hopeful?"

"Roan, my husband, always used to say, 'we must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.' And ever since I have just decided to take each day as it comes, knowing one day I'll be back with him up there."

"You believe in God?"

"Not God so much as an afterlife. I believe we all get a chance to redeem our past sins and be back with the people we have loved and lost."

Bellamy stared at her, looking from her eyes to her lips before leaning in and closing the space between them. They continued messing around for the next month before deciding that they truly had feelings for each other and they didn't want their past to dictate their future, so for the next five months they lived as a couple, sharing a bed together, making decisions together. He still loved Clarke, but he knew that wherever she was, she was proud of him. He had defied all odds and created a well-ran society based on morals and logic. People were living, not just surviving.

~Present day~

The day had started like any other, the tight knit group had gotten up early, discussed development plans and then played some light hearted card games. Their main priority as of late was just keeping the camp in good spirits, having a high morale boosted efficiency and productivity, allowing the community to grow more and more each day. The camp was ever growing, now stretching from one side of the valley to the other. It consisted of a med bay, various fire pits, two storage houses; one for meat and one for herbs and materials, an array of tents for housing and even an indoor wooden shack created into a dining hall. With just over a year of work, it was impressive. In the next few months they hoped to find more survivors and expand, rebuilding the world from bottom to top. They also had scientists who spent their time doing experiments on the creatures, trying to figure out if there was a cure or vaccine to no avail. They'd keep trying, though.

Bellamy had made his way through the camp at about midday, striding towards the storage house to gather herbs for their main doctor, Jackson. It didn't take him long to realise that the unit was practically empty and he was going to need to organise an expedition to gather more materials. He consults his best hunter, Murphy, and only herbalist, Monty before saying goodbye to Echo and explaining the situation to Jackson. Expeditions usually lasted a day or two, sometimes longer depending on the supplies needed. Herbs were usually only a day trip but Bellamy figured that he may as well kill two birds with one stone and bring Murphy so they can hunt some meat also. It never occurred to Bellamy that he'd find a whole lot more than meat or herbs on his trip. It never occurred to him that he'd see a ghost standing in front of him, probably thinking the same question as him.

"Is this real?"