A/N: Last chapter: Sesshomaru and Rin go to the last site of the baby Phoenix statue and meet Takashi there. Sesshomaru is unable to fight Takashi because of his pain from the wounds. Hasu rescued Sesshomaru and Rin from Takashi's meidos. Sesshomaru loses consciousness.
Chapter 18: Needs
Sesshomaru woke up in the same scented paradise that he had recently been in rather often.
He sprang straight up. 'Rin.'
"Rin."
"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama." Rin sat by Sesshomaru's side at the edge of the bed.
She flopped into his chest immediately, sobbing, "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru-sama. I cause you nothing but troubles."
"Rin, you are alright."
"Yes, but—"
"Rin, you don't cause me any troubles."
She snuggled her face deeper into his chest. "But your swords are all gone, both of them."
'What?'
"Somebody pulled me away from the meido and threw me far off from you. When I came back, everything was gone. The Phoenix statue and your swords. Fortunately, you were still there."
Her tears dampened his chest. "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru-sama. I'm so sorry."
"Rin. You're the most important to me."
Rin held him and wouldn't let go. He stayed still for a moment before he scooped her up onto his lap, with her back leaning against his body.
She was still crying, sobbing occasionally.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he whispered in her ears, "Be at ease, Rin."
"Your wounds from your mother, they don't go away. Why don't you heal them, Sesshomaru -sama?"
"I cannot heal the wounds from my mother when she disciplines me, Rin."
"It's interesting how you still receive discipline from your mother being all grown."
He stayed quiet. He took a tendril of Rin's hair in between his lips and started to play with it, pulling on it, rolling his tongue around it, tickling Rin's face with it.
He was being just as innocent as Rin, like there wasn't anything wrong with the situation of being swordless.
Rin giggled. "I see why your mother disciplined you. You're just a playful mischievous puppy."
His eyes lit up, tickled by her endearing term - "puppy". He had been called bastard, idiot, imbecile and maybe some other more decorative names, but never puppy.
Nibbling her ears, like a puppy, he whispered, "Rin, I will tell you why mother disciplined me, so you'll understand why I left abruptly when I kissed you the other night."
"Yes?" Her gone went up.
"Because I cannot control my first arousal. It's in my blood to transform me into my full form and to only mate another Inu Demon to ensure our heir retain the perfected dog form."
"Oh." Her tone dropped low down.
"I would have killed you if I had forced our union. That's why I left abruptly every time."
"Oh." Her tone dropped past the ground.
"Rin, only for the first time, then I could control myself."
"OK." Her tone rose a little.
"Mother inflicted these wounds to stop me from killing the person I love."
"But you can't fight because of those wounds. I rather die than put you in the situation like last night."
"Don't say such silly things, Rin. If you die, I won't remember you."
"What?!"
His hands wanted to wander up her bosom, but he held back, afraid of the arousal and having to leave her side.
"Because I will die along with you."
Rin turned around. She put her hand on his lips to stop him from, "Don't say such silly things, Sesshomaru-sama."
"Puppy."
"What?"
"I like puppy."
"What? You said we can't, uhm," Said Rin as she looked at him with her bashful eyes, "do that yet, Sesshomaru-sama."
"No, call me puppy."
"Oh. You silly puppy." Rin pounded his chest gently. "Sesshomaru-sama."
He grinned when she said "puppy", then pouted when she added "Sesshomaru-sama".
"I've got to go to the garden. And I have to stop by Aika-sama to tend to her garden."
"Aika-sama?"
"Yes, you remember her, don't you? Our village teacher. She told me to send Gozu and Mezu to class. In exchange, I have to care for her flower garden."
"Allow me to come with you."
On their flight to the garden, he asked if Rin had taken the kids to class. Rin told him Kagome did that for her in the morning already since Rin wanted to stay by his side.
That night, Sesshomaru sat down on the edge of the bed next to Rin.
Thinking about anything else beside obtaining power was a surprise. Since Rin's second death, however, his priority had changed. Obtaining power had moved down a few notches on the priority ladder.
It was just like anything else, anyone else. When one is introduced to something good, they start craving for it.
Rin had introduced Sesshomaru to so many things new and exciting, he had started to wish for them, to have hunger for them, to want to protect them - like her smile.
He looked at Rin.
She was sound asleep.
Her bosom rose and fell in rhythm with her breathing. The flap of her nightgown falling to her side, revealing the upper part of her thighs, barely hiding what lay beyond. Her skin was smooth; her lips were rosy; her hair lusciously spread around her.
Gazing at her, the cells in his body started to spin like there were tiny butterflies flapping their wings frenziedly through his blood. The passionate feeling of the night in the sakura came back full force - just by looking at her. The sounds of her soft moans rang in his ears; the seductive scent of her desire stirred in his memory.
The taste, the full taste, of her arousal would be heaven.
His heart pulsed faster; his mind went in a daze; yearning churned inside his flesh. His breathing became longer and heavier, trying to compensate for the stifling fervor filling up his chest.
The unfulfilled desire those recent days had been jabbing at the core of his physical being. The possibility of him never being able to fulfill it had paralyzed his mind, to the point of hopelessness, threatening to push him over the threshold to the territory of carnal impulse.
Making love to another female besides Rin would not be an option, not only for the virtuous loyalty he kept for Rin, but also his inability to fill his mind with an image of any other females besides Rin. He wanted to stay untouched, stay perfect for Rin, the girl who had a commanding grip on his heart and an authoritative hold of his mind.
Reaching out, he placed his hand gently on Rin's hand. He lowered his lips towards hers. The anticipation of Rin's warmth when he entered her excited his body and weakened his mind. Closing his eyes, he halted, taking in her seductive scent before he moved forward.
It would be that night. It was going to happen. And if Rin died, he would die along with her. They should live out their desire even if just for once instead of living with an unfulfilled desire for the rest of eternity.
Listening to the whispers of his carnal command, he would not turn back this time.
Live it.
Suddenly, like madness, he withdrew, sighing a heavy sigh. Despite the unbearable desire that he could almost no longer bear, nothing was worth the cost of Rin's life.
Sesshomaru lay down beside Rin, making the movement with meticulously slow motion, fearing that any stirring would awaken her.
His need would have to wait.