This chapter is ridiculously long but I couldn't find a good place to cut it in half so I apologise for that in advance.
I hope you all enjoy and don't forget to drop me a review at the end.
The drive was filled with small talk about their day, JJ explaining the case that she had considered taking and Hotch's thoughts on it.
"Hotch was right, but I don't know, I feel like I am killing someone with every case I decline, even though I know I can't take them all." She said, Derek looking over at her when they stopped at a red light.
"Jayje, you have the hardest job out of all of us, it's alright to be effected by it sometimes. You are good at what you do, and considering you fought for the position the way you did, you are passionate and you shouldn't feel like you are letting anyone down." She smiled at his compassion, nodding her thanks.
"How was your paperwork?" He shrugged, pulling back off when the light turned green.
"It was what it was. I got it all done which is what matters. I hate leaving paperwork over night knowing I have to get it down before the deadline the next day. It's refreshing going into something new, even if it is just a fresh pile of paperwork." She agreed, quite enjoying the variety she gets while dealing with the different cases on her desk. They finally pulled up outside a three story restaurant in the city, Derek parking along the road. He jumped out, opening JJ's door, taking her hand. He led her up the steps and to the waiter on the door.
"Table for 2 under Morgan." He said, the man looking to his sheet, smiling and looking back up.
"If you would follow me." He led them straight to an elevator, taking them to the third floor. They were taken to a table by a large window, the view beautiful showing the city lit up in the night, the sky clear and full of stars.
"Would you like to order your drinks?" The waiter asked as they settled on the table, passing the two their menus.
"A water for me, and a red wine for the lady?" He looked to JJ to be sure, smiling when she nodded. Once the waiter left them alone, JJ grabbed Derek's hand, a concerned frown on her face
"Derek I cannot let you pay for all of this. It's beautiful in here and I love it more than anything but I won't let you pay for it all." He shook his head, squeezing her hand comfortingly.
"I'm glad you like it Jay, but the bill has already been paid." Her jaw dropped open slightly, Derek laughing.
"You're kidding?" He shook his head, JJ looking at him in pure awe.
"Derek I cannot begin to express how happy I am. This is genuinely amazing." He was proud at how he had impressed her, the look on her face speaking a thousand words.
"So, besides the fact that your desk is an organised mess and you used to live in Pennsylvania, I don't know anything about you Jennifer Jareau. How about we play 21 questions?" He joked, JJ laughing, pulling back her hand challengingly.
"You're on, Derek Morgan. You go first." She offered, the two pausing to thank the waiter for their drinks and look at the menu to order.
"I will have the steak and side salad please." JJ handed her menu back, Derek torn between two, JJ laughing at his thinking face.
"I'll take the chef's specialty burger with a side of fries please." Nodding and departing, the two looked back at each other to start their game.
"Okay JJ, what is your all-time favourite song?" She rolled her eyes at how cliché he was being but obliged, thinking for a second before answering.
"Probably Blackbird by the Beatles. I have my odd favourite song throughout the years but nothing beats Blackbird. How about you." He thought, taking a sip of his water.
"I would have to say With or Without you by U2. They are my favourite band."
"I love U2! But I have to admit, One Tree Hill is my favourite song by them." They talk a little about music, the two getting a feel for the others taste. When the round of starter breads came around, the topic of conversation had changed, it being JJ's turn to ask a question.
"Okay, what is your favourite childhood memory?" He sits for a while and thinks, buttering a slice of bread thoughtfully.
"When I was 8, we all went on a family trip to the carnival that had opened outside of town. It was like one of those stupid carnivals with rides that are definitely not safe, and rip off stalls that would drain naive parents of their money. Sarah was 10, and Desiree was 6 so we were a handful when together. My dad took us on every ride, took us to every stall, and by the end of the day we went home with a lot of crap that we never used! There is a picture of us from the end of the day, stuffed animals all over the floor by the car, I have a fish in one hand, a balloon in the other. I think Sarah has three other fish, candy floss and Desiree is clutching onto a stuffed giraffe about the same height as her! It was just one of those days that me and my sisters will look back on, and no matter what, not get sad, because it was too good of a day to taint." JJ couldn't help but stare at Derek with wholehearted affection as he told the story, her heart throbbing at seeing him so sweet and sentimental.
"That's so sweet Derek. You all seem really close. Do you miss your dad a lot?" JJ remembered when researching the team that a Hank Morgan article appeared showing the death of a Chicago PD officer. She wasn't sure of the exact details but the article did inform her that a young child of the age of 10 was there when it happened. With the way Derek was with his job, she had a hunch it was him, but would never bring it up without his permission.
"Yeah, it was harder when I was little. I resented him a little bit for being a cop, but now that I am an FBI agent, I understand a lot more why he died and what happened exactly. I was only a kid and when I saw it all happening, I didn't know how to comprehend it all. I admire him a lot." She smiled, grabbing his hand, his heart skipping a beat. They looked at each other for a few moments before he cleared his throat, the two being interrupted by the waiter coming back with their food. They thanked him and he was on his way again, the two digging in slowly.
"So, how about you. Favourite childhood memory." Derek noticed how when JJ began, she didn't think for anywhere near as long as he did to dig one out, her voice little of emotion.
"Probably my 10th birthday. I had never been given a present off my parents before so, I was overjoyed when I woke up and found a rusty old scooter by the front door. I insisted we spend the day at the park and we all set out and didn't end up coming home until it was dark out! I bounced between my scooter and the swings all day, though I did go home with a few cuts on my knees but I had never had a scooter so I thought it was all worth it and didn't complain. On the way back we picked up some ice cream and that to me completed the day. It was just an average day but to us, it meant the world."
"You had never received a present before your 10th birthday?" JJ cringed at the question, swallowing the chunk of steak she had inhaled roughly.
"We weren't really the present giving type of family. But ever since I can remember, on my birthday every year my sister would come into my room at midnight and let me wear her favourite necklace for the day. I would hide it under my shirt and ignore my dad when he asked me why I was extra happy that day. Some years they would forget it was even my birthday, other years I would get to have an extra slice of pizza for dinner but I was never bothered. It was only my birthday if I had on my sister's necklace." Derek tried to hide his shock at how horrendous her childhood sounded, but JJ could see it on his face. He wasn't very good at hiding it, you didn't have to be a profiler to see the strain behind his eyes. The two were interrupted by Derek's phone buzzing on the table. He blushed, apologising as he ended the call, but just as quickly as he picked his fork back up, his phone buzzed again, JJ laughing at the clear frustration on his face.
"You can answer it Derek, I know that if it were me and Hotch was called about another case you would be fine with it." He shook his head, laughing slightly as he slid his now turned off phone into his pocket.
"No trust me, it isn't that important. I told my mom I was taking you out tonight and she hasn't stopped hassling me for details." JJ raised her eyebrow, taking a sip of her wine.
"You told your mom we were going on a date?" He nodded sheepishly, JJ grinning.
"Apparently I can never stop talking about you, so when I told her I was taking you out for a meal well that was it!" The two laughed together, JJ in awe at how, outside of the office, he was very family orientated and didn't seem to care about much else.
"You should have answered her Derek! You have such a beautiful relationship with her, plus, that fact that you talk about me to her is extremely adorable!" He laughed, shrugging slightly.
"I'm sure you talk about me to your family members as well." JJ looked away slightly, Derek noticing how her face fell ever so slightly.
"I don't have many living members left. I don't have any, actually." She laughed slightly, realising how much she was killing the mood with every question Derek asked, that not being her intention in the slightest. "I am so sorry. I keep destroying the somewhat happy mood. You have every excuse to get up and leave." She was shocked when Derek grabbed her hand, her blue eyes looking up to meet his dark, chocolate ones.
"It's my fault. I didn't mean to pry."
"You didn't pry. I guess you need to know these things. It's just, I don't really have any friends so, I don't have to talk about it often. Well, I don't talk about it at all." He pulled back, sat upright and held his hands out, a small smile on his face.
"My ears are all open JJ." She let out a small breath, frowning slightly, wondering how to start the dreaded conversation.
"My mother was depressed. She lived on antidepressants and was never herself. She hardly ever left her bedroom, only to make dinner every few days in a week. My dad was an abusive drunk, always sitting on the couch with empty bottles and cans everywhere. Everyone in the town knew what he was, but nobody had the courage to speak up about it. When my sister was 17, I was only 11. It was a seemingly normal night; I was doing homework and had just finished football practice, she was in her bedroom not communicating with anyone while my parents argued downstairs. She come into my room and started bothering me, which annoyed me because I was busy and with the age difference, we always took our annoyance out on the other, which is what I thought was her intention. Then she holds out her necklace. Bearing in mind my birthday isn't for another three months, I am eagerly curious as to what she was plotting. She tells me that she wants me to have it and look after it for her, though I kept saying no because I knew how much she loved it. I was secretly over the moon because I had always wanted one just like it. She put it around my neck, kissed me, and told me she loved me and that I should get to sleep because I had a big game in the morning. I woke up the next morning to get her because she was driving me to school to meet the team and I found her in the bathtub. She had cut her wrists with our dad's razorblades. I of course got the blame from my parents and then when I was 13, my mom couldn't take it anymore and she killed herself. Overdosed on her antidepressants with a bottle of my dad's whiskey. I had to spend three years with that man, and I hated every second of it, until just before my 16th, he drove off a bridge. Out of pity, I was allowed to stay in the house until I was 18, which gave me enough time to add to my savings and get the hell out of that town. I never looked back after I left." He was grateful at how open she was being, but couldn't help but feel a pain in his chest at how hard her childhood had been.
"JJ I am so sorry for everything that happened to you. You have come so far, I know your sister would be extremely proud of you." She grabbed his hand, squeezing it in thanks. "How about we finish up and get out of here?" She smiled, nodding her head, the two falling into a comfortable silence while finishing up their food.