Real talk: I said to myself, 'if I'm asked five times about the Phoebe thing I mentioned in Rehearsal twice now I'll start working on that plot'.

Then the same person asked me about it five times.

I wasn't specific enough.

But a promise is a promise!

Content warnings:

Arguable Mind Games

Several Implications of Lady Sexing

I thought this place was supposed to have defenses up the wazoo?

The creature was waiting for her in front of the kingdom's gate: a creature of the void whose skin seemed to devour color and hope and everything good, whose very presence choked the air with dread, stood impassively before the entrance to the city.

Oh, there they are.

Phoebe cursed her own vulnerability. It was an understatement to call the thing unsettling; if she had skin it would surely be crawling, if she had a traditional heart it would be pounding. It probably wasn't a stretch of the imagination to assume that a lesser elemental would have extinguished just from fright alone. It was perhaps twice her height and lanky, making it almost impossible to tell how long its limbs were, where they began and ended, or even how many it possessed. Its grin was unsettling, all needle-sharp white teeth, too many to count and honestly, the traveller didn't want to try that hard. Its red eyes were pinpoints and seemed to stare into her soul, so piercing that she caught her gait slowing prematurely. The young monarch didn't want to look, but she forced herself to, knowing that if she could just reason with it-

She frowned, mentally correcting herself. Not it. Who. And she's why I'm here. Focus, Phoebe. You got this.

Focusing on controlling her breath, both to regulate the intensity of her flame and, hopefully, hide her fear, the fire elemental took stock of her greeter. Don't look at the whole, look at the sum of her parts. With that she began the mental dissection. The skin was the most unsettling feature, she decided; if she looked directly at the body it seemed to almost shimmer in and out of view, almost seeming to merge with the darkness of the world, if only for scarce moments. The teeth she already had the pleasure of acquainting herself with, and so she averted her gaze from them, trailing up towards the red eyes. Do they even have pupils? By the time she realized that meeting its stare would prove to be a horrible mistake it was too late; she was locked, entranced, her mind unable to comprehend what it was seeing. The mental overload was sudden and immensely painful as she unwillingly tried to make sense of what she was seeing. Are those pupils? What shade of red is this? Her breath hitched in her throat as she realized that she was trapped in that hypnotic stare, unable to stop her mind from focusing, unfocusing, and refocusing again, on whatever it was that stare demanded of her.

The demon tilted its head and she felt her hands pull the reigns of the fire wolf she was seated upon, literally halting her progress by her own hand. It was humiliating to say the least. With a deep breath Phoebe steeled her resolve against whatever power her opponent was exerting, unable to break away, but refusing down to her core to give in to the panic she could feel growing in the back of her mind. On a different day she may have broken, may have surrendered to it. But today was not such a day. Too much had happened already, and breaking down into hysterics would make her far too happy. Underneath her she could feel her wolf lower its snout to the ground and start to sniff. With no rider to offer correction it slowly moved forward, sniffing intently, eyes downcast as it followed whatever trail it had occupied itself with. Soon Phoebe found herself sitting with conflicting emotions. On the one hand, her steed had brought her within arm's length of the imposing beast, and every instinct in her was screaming to run. On the other hand, she knew of only a handful of beings that could break the protective nature of a Flame Kingdom royal mount; it could only be someone they had strong familiarity with, and there was only one demon that had, historically, spent that much time in her kingdom. Her suspicions were confirmed when a large claw ending in terrible, sharp talons lifted slowly before being dropped gently on the canine's head. For a brief, horrible moment Phoebe's mind flashed with the image of that same claw slicing down, taking off her friend's head, its body falling to the ground as its precious life force seeped below. She had heard stories told in hush whispers of what the demon guard was capable of, had seen drawings of the 'messages' it left behind to enemies of the kingdom, and knew that she herself was no friend to the kingdom's tyrant. To her immense relief the wolf merely sniffed the claw happily, sensing no danger to itself or its mistress.

"So, it is you."

It took Phoebe a moment too long to realize she was the one who had spoken, and by then the demon - or, should she say, half-demon - was shuttering in what she suspected was a snicker. Without warning her trapped mind was released; her mind abruptly cleared and she took a deep, the feeling of foreboding vanished, and she took a deep, shuttering breath, just to prove to herself that she could. Her eyes pressed closed to allow her better focus on normalizing her flame, and once they opened again she found that her foe had dropped all pretense. The black skin was now grey flesh, the taloned claws calloused hands, the disturbing grin two elongated fangs, the red eyes slitted and garnet. Wings folded, tendrils vanished. Now the beast was shorter - though not by much - and floating, arms crossed and smirking, axe-bass strapped to her back: she was now face to face with Marceline the Vampire Queen in her true form.

The two stared, silently appraising one another. Without her guardian form guise the immortal was dressed in heavily torn black jeans, her top concealed by a red and tan jacket with an 'M' emblazoned on the left side. Her hair was a mohawk now, flanked by shorter black hair, and for a brief moment the flame monarch thought she saw a thin, almost wiry piece of metal somewhere near or around her neck, but when she failed to find it a second time she dismissed the observation. The vampire's hands were encased in black fingerless gloves, which tapped against her knee as she sat in the air, one ankle thrown over the opposing knee, red boots swaying gently. Phoebe had seen no reason to change from her earlier adventure and was still garbed in an off-orange dress lined with soft pink trimming, deep orange pants, and dark pink boots that seemed red against her low flame. The decision of whether or not to wear her crown was one she wrestled with through the entire journey from her homeland before finally deciding to keep it on, hoping it would give her the confidence to face down the horror that lurked in the Candy Kingdom. In case she had been wrong about that horror's true identity, or if knowing it would protect her at all.

"Flame Princess, right?"

Here it goes. Phoebe took a deep breath and prepared to deliver her carefully crafted speech.

"Y-"

"It was pretty obvious."

Phoebe stopped and waited for the queen to continue. When she didn't the younger monarch started again…

"I-"

"Because, you know, you're made of fire."

...Only to be interrupted once more, resulting in a soft growl of frustration. Marceline didn't bother to hide her smirk. Stay calm, Phoebe. She's just trying to get a rise out of you. Don't let her bait you. But exhaustion was starting to catch up to the young woman and she was absolutely done with mind games for the day. Perhaps taking pity on the girl, or perhaps simply out of boredom, the older woman finally engaged her in an actual conversation. "But that doesn't explain what you're doing here, little one, so far from home." That was all the opening she needed.

"I had to talk to you."

Marceline lifted an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side. "Me? Is that why you came riding up here on a wolf in the middle of the night when it's pitch black out? You're made of fire, kid, I could see you coming from miles away. Literally." Okay, so maybe Phoebe stood out a little bit. The half-demon wasn't exaggerating much; it was probably close to midnight, and with the heavy cloud cover and such a distance from the bright lights of any metropolis a normal person would have been blind. Phoebe could only guess how badly she stuck out. Fortunately, that was the idea. "That's exactly why." Marceline shrugged, shifting position to recline in mid-air. "So let me get this straight. You left the safety of your kingdom made of fire, completely unescorted, to come to a borderline-enemy territory, chasing down a monster that plays with its food, in the blind hope that its true identity is one of the most powerful creatures in Ooo, and now you wish to engage this monster in a friendly conversation? Well, here I am. Speak."

Phoebe didn't, not at first. When she put it that way this entire idea seemed downright silly, but the young princess knew that if this conversation went well she would leave this cursed land with a new, powerful ally. If it went really well she would leave this cursed land with her powerful ally, which would be a moral victory. The idea almost made her smile, though actually doing so would betray her motive, so she kept that action in check. No, this discussion warranted the utmost care. It would be a dance, requiring care, poise, and delicate adherence to a strict formula. Unfortunately, though, it seemed that Marceline didn't want the younger woman to lead.

"Let me guess. Princess Bubblegum did something you don't like and now your pride is bruised?"

She said it with such mirth, such dismissal that Phoebe could feel her cheeks heat up and her expression morph into a scowl, betraying her true purpose. There was no sense hiding it now, the half-demon clearly knew what was up, or at least knew enough to indicate that this was an established behavior pattern of the other princess. The fire elemental's temper flared before she could get the best of it, her flames with it. "Your princess tried to wreck my kingdom and waste my people!"

"Oh? What'd she do?" Her tone seemed an odd mixture of curiosity and, Phoebe dared to hope, concerned. Okay, maybe she doesn't know yet. This encouraged her. Maybe the vampire wouldn't approve of the candy monarch's actions. Maybe the rockstar wasn't as under a candy spell as she feared. Maybe, she thought wryly, the half-demon would be the reasonable one of their dyad. Only one way to find out.

"She tried to kill us! The entire kingdom! She got the Ice King to almost freeze us to death with a fake cold snap. When none of us could solve the problem she made me beg for her help! She even gave me a list of stipulations, like I should have the honor of the Great Princess Bubblegum grace us with her algebraic knowledge. Then, when she graciously accepted my humiliation, she tried to get in my brain to gather intel in the disguise of being my friend. When I had no choice but to reveal some of my kingdom's vulnerabilities because she blackmailed me she destroyed some of my culture's most sacred items because she got paranoid that they could be used against her! It didn't matter that they're important to us! It didn't matter that I saw my people get sick and die, or that we'll never recover those pieces of our history! She just wanted to usurp my power and undermine my authority!

Marceline scratched her chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, that sounds like PB."

Phoebe couldn't believe what she was hearing. Many suspected that the vampire was secretly whipped, an utter thrall of the candy monarch. What Phoebe didn't expect was for the apathetic tone of voice cementing just how deep a thrall she was, because Marceline sounded not only unsurprised but uninterested, as if Phoebe had just described a poorly written movie with a predictable ending that the half-demon had already seen a thousand times before. Soon her disbelief gave way to disgust, then anger. She clenched her jaw, watching the woman before her offer a half-shrug, as if to say 'that rascal, but hey, what are you gonna do?'. Oh, you'll see. No, you'll help me.

"You're not… surprised? Like, at all?"

Marceline shook her head, stretching her limbs. "No, that's just the way she is. Always has been, for centuries."

"How does that not repulse you?"

That finally got her attention. With a loud almost over-dramatic sigh the older monarch sat up mid-air and regarded the younger woman with the most thoughtful expression Phoebe had seen yet. She seemed to be analyzing her, almost searching for the answer for some hidden question. After several long moments she shook her head slowly, offering the same smile the fire princess had often seen mothers offer to young children upset that they could not engage in some simple game or activity. "You're so young, kid. Like a little ember, and your kind don't live long to begin with."

Phoebe felt her temper flare, her body going with it once more. Her wolf looked up, alarmed and almost thrashing in panic. The princess quickly dismounted, giving her friend the freedom to roam nearby, which it then promptly used to curl up against a particularly comfortable rock. "What the stuff is that supposed to mean?!" Marceline rolled her eyes. "How long have you been a ruler, Flame Princess? A hundred years? Fifty? One? You don't have the experience she does." The queen continued before she could be interrupted. "See, here's the thing, kid. When things go well… when you've got lots of a food, your people are happy, there's no disease… when there's no natural disasters, nothing going and staying horribly wrong it's easy to rule. People adore you, other kingdoms admire you, they want to be your buddies. It's easy to make promises and keep them, and it's super simple to make everyone around you happy because you don't have anything to lose." As she spoke her expression hardened. "But when things go wrong you're tested, and so is everyone else around you. That's when you find out what kind of person you really are. And for you, it's what kind of ruler you wanna be."

Phoebe spoke through gritted teeth. "Didn't you flippin' hear me? She made a fake cold snap! It killed-"

"Is there a cold snap right now?"

That gave her pause. "Wait, what?"

"Is there a cold snap right now?," Marceline repeated, that hardened expression never faltering.

"...No," the flame princess began cautiously, "once PB got what she wanted she called off the Ice King and it stopped."

At the name 'Ice King' she thought, just for a second, that she saw the vampire's eye twitch. Interesting... I wonder what's up with that. She filed that away for later inquiry when the undead monarch continued. "So your crisis lasted what? A day?"

"I guess, but-"

"Uh uh." She held up a finger to indicate that her turn to talk was over. "You dealt with one crisis that lasted one day. I'm sorry that some of your peeps got wasted during it, but hey, you guys have this weird obsession with weeding out the weak anyway." When Phoebe took a sharp intake of breath Marceline smirked and continued. "Now try to think about something like that happening all. The. Time. Because it's easy to pass judgment when everything is super-fun, but Bonnibel has been doing this biz for, like, five hundred years. She's seen some pretty wicked stuff. She's had to make some really hard decisions about the Candy Kingdom, and sometimes she has to do some messed up things to stop even more messed up things from happening. You're judging her actions because you don't understand. You can't understand. You want my opinion? Stop getting in her way before you get yourself and everyone you care about hurt. Because she'll do it." Her tone dropped at the end as her lecture turned into advice tinged with concern, something Phoebe's mind immediately latched onto. More importantly, you just gave me the opening I needed. Thank you.

"And what do you do? When she's rulin' it up I mean."

"Me?" She shrugged. "I chill, I make music, I scare innocent townspeople."

"Charming. I mean, what do you do for the kingdom?"

A black eyebrow rose. "Maybe you missed me when you came barging in here? I was the kick-butt void demon that almost tore you in half."

Phoebe repressed her smile successfully. "Is that all you do, Marceline? Guard the gate?"

"Eh, I do lots of stuff."

Like Bubblegum? She didn't say that part. "I get that part. But what exactly?"

Marceline snorted. "You just told me that Bonnibel thought of you highly enough that she went way out of her way to break your toys. I'm not going to give you kingdom secrets, FP. "

Glob it. Alright, let's try this. "That's not what I mean. I think you put the camera up. The one that PB was using to spy on me. We found it inside of Cinnamon Bun, in what he thought was his nose." She rushed to continue before the vampire could cut her off with what would probably be a series of insults aimed at her dear regent. "At first I had no idea what to make of that. I mean, CB isn't the brightest, but he'd definitely understand if someone came at him with a big black box. Then I thought, 'well what if whoever put it there was invisible'?"

"...Seriously? That's all you got? Weak."

"Well, it's not just that. I didn't realize it at the time, because I was too busy trying to save my people, but when I asked Bubblegum to come help me out my fire wolves should have reacted to her. They're trained to respond to any potential intruder, but they didn't respond to her at all. I know the last time she visited my kingdom-" to lock me in a lamp "-was many years ago, so her scent wouldn't be familiar to them. But what if they were smelling something - or someone - besides her, someone they've smelled before and whose scent was prevalent enough to confuse them about who she was?" The question was rhetorical, of course, and Marceline's only response was to smirk.

"What are you actually doing here, Flame Princess?"

"That's what I came to ask you."

Marceline's look of surprise was genuine. "What, you're suddenly concerned about what I do with my free time? That's pretty weird." She chuckled. "I didn't know you had those kinds of feelings for me, FP, but you should at least buy me dinner first." Phoebe ignored her own flush. She's just baiting you girl, don't give her the satisfaction. "I'm not going to get involved with Candy Kingdom politics. Well, I mean, I don't want to. But if Bubblegum had a consort that also had her own kingdom… well, that's a matter for public record. Other kingdoms would need to know about a potential alliance." A flash of something dangerous lit behind demonic eyes before it was expertly repressed. "It's like you're trying to start something, Flame Princess. Like I said, you're out here, unescorted, and I'm gonna bet no one knows where you are or else they'd be here trying to protect you from what goes bump in the night." Although the vampire didn't move she did tense as a silent warning. "Am I right?"

Phoebe held up her hands. "Woah, girl. I'm not here to do anything. Whatever you have going on with Bubblegum is your biz." Marceline looked unconvinced. "I just want to know why."

"Why what?" Phoebe sighed. Here goes nothing.

"Why the two of you?"

"That's a little personal, kid." The edge had yet to drop from her voice.

"Not like that. We've never formally met, but I know some things about you. You ganked tons of vampires for trying to hurt humans. You're next in line to take over the Nightosphere, but you don't really seem to care. You party and play music. I know you're invited to royal gatherings, but when you do attend you'd rather play pranks than contribute-"

Marceline held up a hand. "Stop me if this sounds familiar. I'm a troublemaker that likes to kill things, but somehow I'm less messed up than Bonnibel, and you think telling me this is gonna make me go 'oh no way, she must be really messed up if she can even beat the Vampire Queen, I should rethink my relationship junk with her!'. Am I right?"

"No."

The vampire wasn't expecting that one, and the edge in her voice was replaced with intrigue. "Yeah? Now I'm interested. Keep talking."

"Well, where is she?" When the intrigue began to give way back to an aggressive posture she held up her hands again. "Not a real question, just making a point. She's not here. I don't care where she is, point is, she's not here right now." Marceline didn't contest the very obvious conclusion. "I just have a question. When she came to my kingdom earlier, were you with her? I mean, I invited her as an allied monarch, but if anyone besides her knew her true intentions it would be you, so it would make sense that you'd tag along, just in case her plans went awry. I'm just cur-"

Marceline snorted derisively, crossing her arms with a sly smirk. "I've got a life outside of Bonnibel, FP. I have my own stuff going on."

The younger monarch resisted her own smirk. Gotcha. "Your own life with your own stuff going on, but here you are." She thought she saw her companion's eye twitch during her slight pause. "...Yeah. Here I am." Phoebe let that realization sit with the vampire for several moments. If her sources were to be believed both Marceline and Bubblegum had been together in some capacity for hundreds of years, and so logic would dictate that the undead queen would only be continuing their relationship - whatever it was - if it was objectively mutually beneficial. But the flame princess had heard enough stories about the other woman from Finn and tales from villages across Ooo, and had suspicions of her own. You're not a logical creature, are you? Let's find out how deep in your mind PB is. Her next words were chosen very carefully. "I get what you do out here. It makes sense to me. You're nocturnal, and I bet Bubblegum has a lot of enemies-" or a lot of paranoia "-since, yeah, she's been a ruler for a really long time. You're right, I can't really know what that's like. If I had a-" courtier "...friend or whatever as strong as you with nothing better to do I'd totes ask her to protect me... and my kingdom."

The pause had been deliberate, a way of testing which of those entities the vampire would react to. Interesting. She didn't correct me. That tidbit of information was filed away. "I mean, it's a lot better than having you as an enemy. I know you've been whatevers for a long time, so my guess is that it's also a good way of making sure you don't turn-" Marceline rolled her eyes. "Kid, Bonnibel knows I'd never hurt her. Try something else, because you're starting to bore me. Let me guess… she's using me? Is that your next try?" Although she would never admit it, Phoebe was impressed. Wow, she even has you answering my accusations for her. You're in there deep, aren't you PB? "As I said, I don't know what you two are, and I'm not going to ask. You're obviously close enough that my fire wolves picked up your scent on her." She sighed. "But I'm not here about her. I'm here about you."

"Yeah? What about me?" It both sounded like and was a challenge.

"You're dangerous."

Marceline did nothing to hide her derisive laughter. "That's what this is about? I'm not going to wang your kingdom apart."

"Please let me finish."

The request was said with such conviction that the queen stared in amusement before bowing mockingly, adopting a fake affect. "As m'lady wishes." To her disappointment, Phoebe continued without rising to the bait. "You're basically a living weapon. That's what Finn said you told him. Right?" Hearing it from the older woman's own mouth was vital to her plan, and the fire elemental was relieved when she obliged. "Phft. There's really no 'basically' about it. I can shapeshift, fly, summon fire, heal through anything, move things with my mind… you know, typical weapon stuff." Her smirk was smug, and Phoebe made it a point to ignore the not-so-subtle jab about her being a weapon as well. This only further disappointed the half-demon, who made no effort to hide that fact. "What's your point?"

The younger monarch pretended to spend a moment collecting her thoughts, as if she hadn't spent the entirety of the journey to the Candy Kingdom knowing exactly what she was going to say. You got this, girl. "It's funny that you should mention fire, since it's a topic I know a lot about." Marceline rolled her eyes, and Phoebe chose not to notice.

"I think there's something you and I share in common, Marceline."

"Awesome fashion sense?"

Phoebe chose to take that as a compliment. "We're both beings made for destruction. Literally. We were literally made to destroy things. My father wants me to be evil, like he is. But I was too powerful for him, so he had me locked in a lamp. If the legends about the Nightosphere are true you would have been responsible for ending the world, if the humans hadn't done it for you. Regardless, you're still meant to take over the Nightosphere itself, if you ever decide to. I thought Finn was exaggerating a bit when he called you one of the strongest beings in Ooo, but I asked around and read up on demon lore and the history of the Nightosphere and… apparently that's a rather apt description."

The vampire's smirk was self-satisfied. "It's true, I'm awesome, but what does this have to do-"

"You're like me. You're like a flame. You can be destructive, but you can also be something positive. You know, burn down a village, or toast candy, or light a cave. Sound about right? I mean, I've heard about the adventures you've had with Finn and Jake." The vampire gave a non-committal shrug, but didn't argue with the analogy, and so Phoebe continued. "But fire can't just exist on its own. It needs to be sustained. Someone needs to stoke it so that it doesn't go out, but they also need to tend to it so that it doesn't devour everything. If that someone gives fire a stick the stick will burn to ash. If they douse the fire with water the fire will die. If… if they take that fire and let it into the forest the forest will be obliterated."

She kneeled down to pick up a sprig of grass, holding it up for the vampire to see, resisting the urge to smile when she saw that she had Marceline's full attention. "My kind need to be taught how to tend to our own flames when we're young, because otherwise we'll burn out or we'll burn everything to the ground, like I almost did. Fire needs to be directed like that or it loses control." Genuine sadness seeped into her voice. "But… fire doesn't always know when it's being directed for detrimental purposes. It just goes where it's told until it's unleashed, then it's on its own. Usually to die, or to hurt everything around it. It doesn't mean to… but that's the very nature of fire." The sprig abruptly burst into flames, leaving only dust in mere moments. When Marceline lifted her gaze from the grey remains Phoebe caught it. "So I guess what I'm asking is… who's directing your fire?" The question was asked with such gentle sincerely that the queen was caught off-guard for a moment, but it was long enough for the princess. There it is.

Garnet eyes narrowed. "I can direct my own fire." The response was a nod. "True. You're way older than I am, and you have way more experience with your abilities, and I'd bet you know yourself way better, too." She didn't miss the flicker of uncertainty. "I know you can direct your own fire, Marceline. I'm just asking if you're actually the one doing it." Without waiting for a response the elemental turned towards her sleeping wolf, letting out a sharp whistle. The canine yawned, rising slowly into a stretch. When it bounded over to the humanoids it took a moment to sniff Marceline once more, wagging its tail when the grey hand absently rubbed its head, the burns healing within moments and without her indicating that she even felt them. Instead, the older woman's focus was entirely on the flame princess as she mounted her steed. Once settled the elemental offered her companion a sad, genuine smile. "I guess the question you need to ask yourself is… you promised Bonnibel that you'd never hurt her. Did she promise you the same?"

Before Marceline could retort the wolf turned, leisurely returning to the path whence it came. The undead rockstar watched, head tilted, to see if the princess would give one last look, one last indicator that she given her speech and asked her questions just to egg her on. When she failed to turn the vampire let herself grin. "You're going to make a great ruler one day, Flame Princess." Now the shorter woman turned, looking over her shoulder with her own smile. "Phoebe. My name is Phoebe. And you will too, Marceline. Once you let yourself be." With that Phoebe returned to the road, steadily returning home. As she departed Marceline flew to the sky, watching her retreat with sharp eyes. Once the orange flame had all but vanished from her vantage point she landed exactly where she began, outside of the Candy Kingdom gates, not entirely sure if she should be smiling or frowning. Did she… was I just challenged? All it took to clear that thought from her brain was to turn behind her, her view shifting to tallest tower in the tallest castle in the biggest kingdom.

Typically, the tower would be illuminated in some fashion, at least by candle light, for this was the tower of Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, an obsessive insomniac with the propensity to work for days at a time. Even when she moved her workspace to her lab - conveniently connected to her rooms through a passageway only two beings could traverse - a candle was typically left either on her desk of window, a silent signal to her paramour as to her current location. The tower was dark now, a rare sight that meant the princess had actually decided to sleep that night, like a normal person. Marceline wasn't surprised; if the conversation she had just engaged in with Phoebe was any indicator of her lover's day it must have been exhausting. From what the vampire understood the candy golem had returned to the castle and promptly disconnected her beloved spy system. When her queen had found her hours later she had been told the story of her day, including Phoebe's accusation about Bubblegum's moral ambiguity. She frowned at the memory, recalling how Marceline had held her girlfriend as they lay on her bed, cool hands offering comfort in the form of ridding a pink body of its incessant tension:

What happened to the spy system?

Phoebe found out. She thinks I'm a bad person. ...Am I a bad person, Marce?

I don't think so, Bon. You just did what you thought you needed to to keep everyone safe. Yeah, it probably went a little far… but it's just a mistake, you know? It's easy for her to judge. She hasn't had to deal with the biz you have.

Marceline had managed to work out most of Bonnibel's shoulder knots before she finally succumbed to sleep. Deciding that this would be a good night for a patrol the vampire had tucked her mate into bed and headed to the kingdom's streets, making a brief pitstop in the now defunct spy room to render the system unusable, courtesy of a well-placed sledgehammer. She had begun her watch the same way she always did, but this experience was new. Her first instinct had been, of course, to kill Phoebe as a potential threat, but decided that now would be a terrible time for regicide. When the fire elemental began her well-rehearsed speech the vampire's second instinct was to toy with her until either she got bored or the princess gave up.

The actual outcome of her impromptu visit was one she hadn't prepared for, but she knew what she had to do.

Unseen by Phoebe - or anyone really - Marceline's jacket concealed a small transmitter in the collar. It was originally intended for use during her performances, but of course Bonnibel had outdone herself and both accidentally discovered just how sensitive the microphone was, just how clear the recordings were, how it was able to pick up even the softest moan- Not now, Marceline. Focus. This first. See where she hid that tape later. It's probably in her lab. I mean, if I- lumps, Marceline, focus! Unzipping her jacket gave her access to the small transmitter. She often wore it when out on patrols; it would provide a live feed of her efforts straight to the spy room, where Bonnibel would often keep watch. She would claim it was to observe the number and type of assassins, but of course the vampire knew the real reason: Bubblegum liked to watch her murder would-be heroes in her name. Knowing she would never admit to it never stopped Marceline from teasing her about it, though. But right now the transmitter wasn't providing a live feed to the spy room because there was no more spy room. Instead, Bonnibel had tampered with the transmitter, providing it with a way to record the vampire's mission for her to watch at a later time. Primitive - by her standards at least - but effective.

Marceline unclipped the small transmitter from her collar and turned it over in her hand. It was so small, slightly larger than a large coin, and almost as light. It was also entirely black, giving it no distinguishable characteristics; should any enemy happen to stumble upon it they would have no idea what they were looking at and probably leave it alone. But Marceline knew what she was looking at: the record of everything that had just happened, every word, every sentence, contained in a handy trinket. Enough to provide Bubblegum with the evidence she needed to justify to herself the danger of the Flame Kingdom. What she would need to damn Flame Princess.

An undead hand continued to turn the device over. Garnet eyes stared at it impassively for over a minute, not blinking. Then their owner took a deep breath she didn't need and exhaled, the impassive stare not dissipating.

Sorry, Bonnie.

Grey fingers wrapped around the gadget, crushing it into fragments.

But you don't need to know about this one.