Chapter 2: Fear, Failure, and Fury

Glinda felt herself shudder. She grabbed the Grimmerie off of the bed and held it tightly to her chest, feeling her heart beating against its heavy, worn cover. She had tried her best to suppress the memory from that night many weeks ago, when she had turned herself invisible and bolted into the dungeons like a bat out of hell. She had felt so incredibly accomplished that night, thinking the little invisibility spell was the best she could ever do.

I had no idea, she thought. I had no idea what was going on, or what I was really capable of. Yet again, Glinda the naïve found herself getting smacked in the face with the grim reality of it all.

She absentmindedly traced over the worn edges of the book, her pink-lacquered fingers running up and down the cracking spine. The memory was starting to take hold of her, sending her back to a time and place she didn't want to remember. She hated thinking about it, because it reminded her of how she was so weak and so very, incredibly stupid.

Silly child, you thought you could waltz down there and save her, the blonde thought to herself spitefully. You really thought that a silly little invisibility spell was all you needed. You were so damned proud of yourself, too. You copied a spell and now you were going to sneak into Southstairs! How rebellious of you! Too bad it didn't work out for you because you didn't think it through. Foolish Glinda. You had no idea.

Glinda's brow furrowed, glaring into the spot in front of the window where the spiral had just disappeared.

This is why you have a plan now. Just hope that you aren't too late this time.

It had been easy. In fact, it had been way too easy. The crowd around the stairs was smaller than normal, the men too chattery and distracted to pay attention to things they could see, let alone things they couldn't. Many of them were not dressed properly; their uniforms were wrinkled, their hats off, belts unbuckeled and shirts not tucked. Glinda should have known something was up, but she was too high on adrenaline and her small spurt of success to process any form of doubt. She was too driven, too focused on the goal, and, like a horse with blinders, she could only see what was in front of her and not the entire picture.

She slipped by the guards with ease, descending down the stone staircase into the darkness of the Southstairs below. Glinda stepped quietly, for despite her invisibility, she was able to hear herself and wasn't sure if others could hear her. She walked along the winding hallway, using the voices of the other guards as a guide. The Southstairs burrowed deep underneath the Emerald City, and was notorious for being hard to navigate. Glinda had only been down there once, when she got her official tour of the palace after becoming Glinda the Good, but she remembered enough to get herself to where the most dangerous people were kept. That was the only part of the prison where she had not been allowed to see, and therefore was the part that she absolutely had to go to. She continued her journey downwards, figuring that she was going farther underground by how a chill had sunk into her skin. She wrapped her cloak tightly around her, silently cursing herself for not wearing more than a cloak over her nightgown. She was invisible, so she really didn't think about it at the time. Glinda decided to move faster, the proverbial hourglass constantly in her thoughts, reminding her that she did not have much time. She needed to get to Elphaba and get out before 4 AM, or she would become visible again.

Glinda, at that moment, realized that she did not have a plan.

She kept her feet moving, but now her mind was racing even faster than her feet. In her haste to get to the Southstairs, she had no spell books, no weapons, no nothing. It was just her and her invisibility. She ended up halting in her tracks when the full weight of everything hit her.

How do I get her out? How in the world am I supposed to free her? How? Glin, did you even think about this at all?

The obvious answer was: No.

Glinda's thoughts were now flying rapidly through her mind.

How do I get into her cell? Do I find a guard and steal the key? How do I know which guards have the keys? And if I can even get into her cell, can I make her invisible? I don't know if I have the spell memorized or not….or if it works on other people. Or…oh no, what if she's hurt? I'd have to carry her the entire way back and…Oh sweet Oz, Glinda, what have you got yourself into?

Glinda's blast of adrenaline had now been replaced by pure panic. She found a partition in the walls, a place that was dark and just big enough for her little body to fit. She slipped in this empty space, her back sliding down the wall until she hit the ground with a short thump. The blonde pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, rocking back and forth slightly. It was kind of funny that she was hiding even though she was currently invisible, but the small, dark place made her feel just a bit safer.

I'm no hero, she thought, resting her head on top of her knees. I don't know what I was thinking. I just…I have to get to Elphie. I have to help her. I promised her that I'd never leave her, and I have to keep my promise.

A sudden thunk of boots on stairs caused Glinda to startle, smacking her head off of the stone behind her. She let out a short growl of pain, rubbing the back of her head with her hand. Two Gale Force soldiers descended the stairs, their boisterous conversation bouncing off of the stone walls and echoing down into the darkness below.

"Did you get to the witch yet?" One of the male voices asked.

"Not yet, but that's where I'm headed now!" said another male voice with a laugh. "I have to tell you, it's been a while. I'm damn excited."

Glinda sat up straighter. She got a feeling, a peculiar feeling that was squirming inside her gut. Her intuition was telling her something, and it was not something good.

"You're off shift, right? Horrible Morrible says we're not allowed to visit with the whore if we're on patrol."

"I don't start for another half an hour. I have time."

The first voice chuckled. "Yeah, I highly doubt you'll last more than five minutes"

The two guards were in Glinda's line of vision. She couldn't make out who they were exactly, but they were both younger, and the voices seemed a bit familiar. They might have been those she had been working on befriending.

"Hey now!" The second guard shoved the first one, but laughed along with him. "I doubt you hung around that long."

"No way, this place gives me the creeps."

"So, is it true?" The second's guard's question faded as the two continued down the hall. The rest of his question was fainter, but audible, and it caused Glinda's heart to skip a beat.

"Is it true that she really is green all over?"

Glinda swore at that moment that she forgot how to breathe.

Oh Oz no…

Glinda flung herself out of her hiding spot, searching wildly for any more signs of the guards that passed her by. She could only hear a few faint noises echoing from the hall in front of her. She leaned against the wall, her heat beat threatening to crack her ribcage, her thoughts swirling in one big, jumbled mess.

No no no no Oh Oz no please let it not be true please let them be lying Oh Oz Elphie no…..

Glinda took off down the hall, not caring at how loud her feet tapped against the cold, gray floor. She didn't bother being quiet. Anyone close enough could have probably heard her loud, raspy breathing anyways. She heard a few more voices and broke into a run, flying down the hallway as fast as her legs could carry her. She had to get to Elphaba. She had to get to her now.

The hall ended with a sharp turn, jutting off to the left. The path had continuously sloped downwards, so Glinda ended up sliding and almost crashing into the wall. She wobbled, steadying herself immediately as she found herself face to face with the two soldiers that had walked past her just a short time ago. They were leaning against one side of the hallway, still chatting amongst themselves. A creaking sound appeared, and a barred door swung open. Another guard emerged, tucking his shirt back into his pants. A chill ran over Glinda's body, her feet feeling as though they were cemented to the spot. The absolute terror took her over, leaving her completely frozen. She clutched her chest, trying desperately to calm the thudding beneath her ribs and get herself together.

The guard that had just left the cell finished tucking in his shirt and tossed the keys to the taller of the two guards waiting.

"Everyone keeps telling me she's a fighter." The guard flipped the keys in his hands. "One of the earlier patrols tried to dole out one of the fish's punishments and she punched him in the face hard enough to snap his nose."

Glinda snorted.

Good.

The first guard shook his head. "Nah, not anymore. I think we've finally tamed the wild green beast."

Glinda felt her heart sink.

It's not true, it can't be, it just can't be…

The guard with the keys walked towards the cell door, the other two giving him a short wave before leaving. They both walked right past Glinda, her invisibility still in full working condition. While her spell worked, her legs were having trouble working. Glinda felt many sensations at once: fear, nerves, shaking, heat racing, dizziness, the urge to vomit. She didn't know what to do.

The Gale Force soldier opened the cell door and stepped inside.

That's when Glinda heard the voice.

"Please…no…" It was soft, pleading, cracking with pain. "No more…please…"

The guard replied with a sharp laugh, as if her pain amused him.

Glinda lifting a leg, forcing herself to take a step forward. She felt like each leg weighed a thousand pounds, like she was trying to run through waist-deep mud. Her knees buckled, causing her wobble and use the wall to steady herself. She tried to push herself back up, but she felt all of the blood drain from her head.

Come on Glin, get up. Let's go. You have to do something, Glin. DO SOMETHING.

That's when Glinda heard the scream. It was high piercing, but it was also rough and hoarse, as if the voice was starting to become lost.

As if she had been screaming for hours.

Glinda was supposed to go forward, towards her friend. That is what she was supposed to do. That was what a strong person does, what a hero does. They run towards danger, towards their fears, and not away from it. But Glinda, finally able to steady herself and get her feet moving again, took off in the opposite direction. Tears streamed down her face as she ran, trying to get as far away from the heart-shattering sound as possible. She ran and she ran, her chest heaving from the exertion and the sobs that were starting to erupt. She turned a corner and slipped, falling into the heap onto the stone below. The wind partially knocked out of her, she refused to get up. Instead, she curled herself into a fetal position and let the sobs break free, creating a new sound of pain and suffering to fill the dark, damp halls of death.

She didn't know how long she lay on the cold floor, sobbing with every force inside of her, until she found herself itchy-eyed and exhausted. She sat up, dizzy and headachy from the emotion and the effort. She crawled up onto her hands and knees, still shaky as she stood up. She was right in front of the entrance, and she was very lucky, for her body was starting to return to its normal opacity. By the time she found herself back in her room, the spell had fully worn off, bringing Glinda back to her regular state. Her maid walked in, attempting to be cheery, but Glinda sent her off in a huff, claiming to have the stomach flu and requesting to be left alone for the rest of the day. The maid still hung around until the blonde, after hearing the vile words from the guards flash through her head again, ran to the bathroom and vomited. Glinda spent the rest of the day that way, alternating between removing the contents of her stomach and dripping every remaining tear left inside her body onto her lace-lined pillow.

I'm a failure, she thought helplessly. I'm a stupid, foolish, careless, useless failure. I'm sorry, Elphie. I was supposed to do better. I was supposed to be there for you, and I failed. I'm so sorry.

Glinda tapped the cover of her book, her long nails making a distinct sound against the leather binding. The memory had finally loosened its grip on the blonde, returning her to her present reality. She took a deep breath in and then exhaled loudly, as if she was pushing the thoughts out of her body.

"I won't fail again," she said aloud. "I have a plan now, and it's going to work."

After that day in the Southstairs, Glinda had thrown herself head first into her magical studies with Morrible. It was hard to concentrate with the absolutely seething hatred stirring inside the blonde every time she looked at the old fish, but she used her usual tricks to hide it. The only way she was going to get back there was through a spell, but she needed something more intense, something that would give her more leverage in case she got caught. Morrible, though more trusting of Glinda, must have sensed something, for she never let the book out of her sight and was very careful with what Glinda was allowed to practice. The better she got at magic, the more frustrated she became. Every day was a chance for more tortures to be inflicted upon her friend, and here she was, sitting in front of the very thing that could save her and she couldn't use it.

One day, a very bold guard made an inappropriate comment about her former roommate in the blonde's presence, and she had absolutely lost her mind. She snapped, cursing him out with every god from every religion she knew of. She stormed off, red faced and furious, locking herself in her room in order to punch the crap out of her bedroom walls. It wasn't until later at a routine meeting, when Glinda noticed the subtle looks given between the Wizard and Morrible and the unusual silence between the three of them, that she realized she probably made a mistake. Her sudden outburst could have possibly given her away.

Glinda decided that this was the moment to act.

That evening, right as Glinda was leaving Morrible's quarters, fate intervened. The old fish was called upon by the Wizard who needed her "right this very second", and she took off without as much as a goodbye to her young pupil. Glinda knew this was it, this was her opportunity, and she would never get another one like this again. She grabbed the Grimmerie, stuffed it into her satchel, and bolted up to her room. She locked every door to her quarters, including the bedroom one, and used all of her little might to shove her dresser in front of the door. She didn't need anyone coming in or giving her any interruptions. Glinda sat down on her bed, her hands trembling as she furiously flipped through the pages of the book, trying to find something. She got about half way through before she realized that maybe, instead of looking for one spell to do everything, that maybe she should use multiple. She already had a way to get into the Southstairs, a way that had already been proven successful. She just needed another spell, another thing to use once she got herself down there.

As if fate were speaking to her yet again, a gust of wind entered through the crack that was still left open in her bedroom window, rustling the pages of the book. When the wind stopped and the paper went still, a very strange and ancient-looking spell was left staring up at Glinda. She leaned over, curious, trying to decipher what it meant. It took her a few moments to translate it.

Create a portal to another world.

The spell, when done correctly, could open up a portal that could take you to an entirely different world. When Glinda read this, she felt a spark inside her, like a light that had just been turned on.

This is it. This is how I'll do it. Elphie said that she would never be free in Oz, so that means that we just have to leave Oz. It makes complete sense.

Glinda, learning from her previous mistakes, put a plan together.

1. Use the invisibility spell to get down into the Southstairs between 3:30 and 4.

2. Use a fire spell to melt the lock on the door, or steal a key from a guard, whichever is easiest.

3. Open up the portal and get us out of Oz for good.

The invisibility spell only took two tries for Glinda to remember. The fire spell was something she had been working on with Morrible, so that was simple enough to work with. She loved watching the flames rise from her palm and flicker painless across her fingertips. She had been itching to use it for some time, but Morrible had forbid her from performing the spell outside of their lessons. Glinda the Good had listened, but Glinda the Rebel was throwing all of the rules out the window. Nothing mattered to her now other than rescuing her best friend.

The portal spell was nothing like she had ever encountered before. It was full of strange lettering, a language more difficult to muddle through than the usual spells in the book. She had to pull out her reference manual and painstakingly go through each word one symbol at a time, translating and notating the correct pronunciation. Glinda should have been tired, and in fact, she probably was tired, but she didn't even feel it. She had never been the studious type, and during her time at Shiz often dozed off while supposedly studying, but now it was as if all of the gears in her brain were finally turning at the same time. By the time she had finished mapping out the spell, the sky had turned dark aside from the small crack of light coming from a sliver of moon.

It took her four hours and twenty-seven minutes, but finally, just as she was close to giving up, the swirling clouds had appeared, the vortex consuming a large part of her bedroom. When she removed her hand from it, the raindrops were still glistening on her skin. She didn't know much about this world, using only the book for guidance. It said that the portal opened only to one world, and to the same world every time. A few notes, scrawled on the edges in blue ink, stated that the people in this world looked like the people of Oz and shared the same common tongue, making communication easy. The note also warned that getting into that world was a lot easier than getting back out of it. That part didn't phase Glinda; in fact, it calmed her. She had no intention of ever coming back to Oz if she could help it.

She flipped the page, and another handwritten note caught her eye. While it was on the page of a different spell, it had an arrow next to it, as if there was no room on the previous page for it. Glinda squinted, doing her best to read the teeny tiny cursive.

"The people in this world use large, traveling crafts similar to the Wizard's hot air balloon. There is a possibility that this portal takes you to his world."

Glinda's eyes widened, and she read the note over and over until she could close her eyes and see the loops of the writing in her brain.

The Wizard's world. It could be the Wizard's world. How incredible. Elphie is half from that world anyways, so it would only be fitting if we ended up there. I wonder if it's true or not…

Glinda took a deep breath, and with one fluid motion, she tore the page right out of the book. She rolled the page up, stuffing it down her bra since her dress did not have pockets. She grabbed her cloak, flipping it over her shoulders and buckling it in the base of her neck. She took one final look at herself in the mirror, realizing that the woman staring back at her almost looked like a stranger. Her blue eyes seemed dull, lacking the sparkle that she had been known for. Dark circles hung underneath her eyes, and she swore she saw some wrinkling around their corners. She had no lines around her mouth, and sadly noted that it was probably because she had not smiled genuinely in such a long time. She looked older, more like the twenty-four year old woman she was and less like the baby-faced Shiz student that she always pictured herself as. She was worn, weary, haunted by her acting as a chess piece and her knowledge of the pain and heartbreak the world had thrown at her. She crossed her arms, a determined expression crossing her face. She was surprised to see that this Glinda didn't look like a little girl having a tantrum, but looked like a strong, powerful woman on a mission. She nodded to herself and began chanting, watching as her body slowly faded away. When the last golden curl had vanished, she pushed the blockade from her door, took a deep breath, and headed out the door.