I froze for a moment, before turning to look at her. "What?"

"He was not your father." Her voice held relief and fear.

I looked between her and Alecto. "You knew?"

My brother nodded. "Father told me, but prohibited I ever tell you."

"I don't care what he said! You should have told me!" I was livid, now it all made sense. The hatred, the difference on kindness and affection Alecto and me. 'Father' never once showed any kind of affection towards me, always hatred and rage. "Who is my father?"

Mother was quiet, not wanting to spill. Well it is to damn late for that. "I can't tell you."

"What in the-how-why can't you tell me? All my life I have been told he was my father, only to heat it's not true! Then you say I can't know! Well I have the right to know who sired me! Who's blood runs through my veins!"

"Enough!" Mother yelled, catching all nearby peoples attention. "I will not tell you Ysmay and that is final." Disappearing back into the carriage, I glared daggers at Alecto.

"Ysmay."

I raised my hand to stop him. "I don't want to hear it." Slowing my horse, I took up the rear with Bors and Galahad.

Closing my eyes I focused on my surroundings and senses. The feel, the sound, and the smell. It was cold, the bitter of the wind hit me like a thousand little knifes. It caused my body to shake unwilling, even as I was covered in Arthurs cape. The sound of nature were no more. Where you would once hear birds singing, deer walking over the snow or the sound of the wind in the trees, was no replaced by the sound of horses pounding on the snow. Sound of carriages running over the snow. And the smell, it was nothing compared to what she smelled in the so call temple. It was clean and fresh, as if the rain had washed out the days sin.

"Everything alright my lady?" Bors gruff voice asked.

I nodded, I was yet to come to terms on what mother said. "Yes." Looking out to the front, I sighed as I saw nothing, but mountains and tress covered in snow. The roads in front frozen. "How far are we?"

Bors glanced up at the sky. "Give or take two days, but at this pace three days."

"The villagers were not in the plans I assume." I had seen the way Arthurs knights reacted at Arthurs order to take them.

Bors laughed. "No, they were not. But if you can you must."

"That's true." Riding at a steady pace, we rode in silence for about an hour. That was until I got bored. "Bors."

"Yes?"

"I am bored."

The knight gave me a look along the lines of 'and'. "okay."

"Talk."

"Talk?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You have any family?"

The man got a stupid grin on his face. "Yes my lover and I believe it's a dozen of my bastards."

"11." Galahad muttered.

Bors frowned. "Ahh yes 11."

"What about home?" I asked. "I understand you are all planning on going home."

"Yes, after we get you all to the wall we will be free men." Bors laughed. "I will command my own village and Dagonet will be our bodyguard. Isn't that right Dag!?" Dagonet simply glanced his way. "What are you planning on doing after this?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Will just have to go with the flow."

Bors began to tell me of the time he saved Arthur and Lancelot from invaders. It was filled with gore and glory. "I was suddenly surrounded by fifty men. All nasty looking."

"Last time there were 60." Tristen rode up beside his mate. "Or so I heard."

"No, no the day before I believed he said 100." Lancelot added having appeared beside me. "Or was it 101?"

Bors grumbled lowly, but just clearly for us to hear. "Assholes."

Laughing under my breath, I once more got lost in my own thoughts. Jumping at the hand landing on my shoulder. Glancing to the side I locked eyes with the dark knight.

"Are you alright? Seem lost." He whispered.

I shrugged. "I am okay. Simply thinking." Clearing my throat, I gave him a smile. "What about you?"

Lancelot quirked a brow. "What about me?"

"Any stories?" He shook his head. "What about your home land?"

The man tensed, squeezing my shoulder. "Very little. I was just a boy when they took me." I spotted Tristen, Galahad and Bors slowing their pace. "I remember my father telling me 'Soldiers come back as great horses'. Mother holding my youngest brother, who must already be in the army if not, training. My youngest sister gave me this for luck." He showed me a necklace of a roaring lion, carved with amazing detail. "But what I do remember with detail is green pastures larger than you ever ride, from horizon to horizon. The sky, bluest and brightest you have ever seen. I vaguely remember getting up before dawn would break and ride until midday. It would fee as if I was flying."

Hearing him speak with such sensitivity was breathtaking. "You will go home Lancelot. You and your brothers have earned it."

He gave me a weak smile. "I wouldn't even know where home is. So many years away, i'd be a stranger among my own."

"Please, You'll have a wife and kids within the year." I teased, happy to see a smile on his lips.

"I have no right to my own sons."

"You have the right as any man. I cam already see it. The great Lancelot teaching his little boy to ride his first horse." I chuckled at the image in my head. A mini Lancelot perched in front of his father, laughing and playing.

"No, I much prefer a girl. I wish no son of mine this life." Lancelot said.

"Fine. The great Lancelot chasing suitors away. How's that?"

"Better."

Rolling my eyes, I urged my horse forward, but his hand held down on mine. He didn't speak nor did I make a move to leave. I could hear the knights snickering behind us. And although I caused me to blush, I didn't allow it to faze me. Lancelot of course was the one to break the silence. "Your mother and you seem to be at odds."

I laughed humorlessly. "Is it that obvious?"

"The shouting was a hint." He smiled.

Looking down at my hands, I huffed in defeat. "Mother just informed me, that the man I believed to be my father is not. When I questioned who it was, she ended the conversation. Saying she will not reveal my true fathers name."

"I am sorry." He said somewhat hesitant. Clearly the man didn't know what to say.

"It's quiet alright actually. He never cared for me and I him. It's actually a relief to tell you the truth." And that was the truth. I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders in knowing I did not carry that mans blood. I had no relation to him, but it stung in not knowing who was my father. I wanted to know, if only his name.

"My lady?" Lancelot pulled me out of my thoughts. "You disappeared."

"Sorry, got lost in my mind."

"Want to say?" He asked curiously, but not prying.

I felt slightly stupid. "My father. Just wondering what he was or is like. At first I didn't understand why I loved to battle, ride and spar. Alecto never liked it and his father disliked swords and horses. I am much lighter than the two of them and my eyes are of no one in my family."

Lancelot leaned in, staring into my gray/green eyes. "One of a kind. I believe they are all traits of your father. From what you tell me, makes me believe you have a soldier's blood. That would explain your likes and courage."

I frowned. "A soldier? I know mother was with child before marriage."

Lancelot thought for a moment. "Was the marriage arranged?" I nodded. "Perhaps a lover? One before the wedding."

"Perhaps." Maybe mother had loved another man. Gave him her love and body, only to be separated. Was I the child of a prohibited love? Or of an abuse. Mother explained how her village was invaded by Roman soldiers. Destroying everything and killing all. Some were spared to join the army and the women were used against their will. But not mother or so she said.