Her body glowed. Shepard was dreaming, and her body formed a biotic barrier immediately. She saw him. It was a perfect recreation of their last night together, before arriving at the Illusive Man's base. He pressed his forehead against hers, kissed her mouth, then moved down. She gasped in her sleep, her lip trembling.
Shepard groaned in her dream, her barrier extending even further. Then she saw a fire. The red laser of the Reapers. She tried to grip her bed with her right hand, but she had no fingers. She was unable to grab anything. In her sleep, she screamed, and the barrier burst and extended the space of the room. It snapped back into her when she opened her eyes, panting hard.
She looked at her right hand, sweat blurring her vision, but sure enough, every finger was gone. She also learned quickly that she could only move her head. The rest of her body was unresponsive. She hadn't been able to ask why or what happened to her. She tried to tell herself it was just the drugs, the exhaustion, her trauma, but she feared something worse.
Dr. Chakwas had explained to her that she lost every right-hand finger, but that was not the least of it. Her left side had been burned, part of her left leg and hip bone were completely shattered. She had literally been shot in the left side of the pelvic bone, leaving an empty space in her body. The ache of the void was indescribable.
She could not get enough medicine to keep her asleep. She did not want to dream anymore. She did not want to be functional. She just wanted numbness and a deep, deep sleep.
She was alone when she woke up, and the thought of that hurt her more than the Reapers.
It was worse than death. She could accept that. She had made her peace in the void of her consciousness. Then she woke up and was almost healed and ready for action.
This…She tried to make a fist again. It burned.
This…was different.
She closed her eyes again, brought her destroyed hand to her chest, and wept.
Liara was shaking. Hyperventilating, really, and each unsatisfying inhalation hit her hard. She knew their charade could not go on forever, but it had helped her feel normal for goddess' sake! There was no crime in that, but she was not prepared to actually face Shepard.
Garrus sat across from her, hunched over with his hands together. His cool blue eyes stared at her, calculating her pain with a meticulous gaze. She hadn't realized her pain was so visible, so she used her biotics to grab the new bottle of brandy from the kitchen. She opened the bottle and just started drinking it.
With a gasp, she placed the empty bottle on the table in front of her, then walked to the door. Garrus followed her closely and gently grabbed her arms. "Liara," he whispered in her ear. The alcohol hit her like a freight train and she stumbled into his arms.
"Fucking wrong," she mumbled in response.
Garrus sat her down on the couch. "What we've done is fucking wrong?"
She nodded, her hysteria the focal point of her face. She started weeping, shame and guilt burying her deeper into his arms. She had some amount of love for Garrus, but her love for Shepard outweighed that. She felt like a traitor.
Shepard had been declared Not Testable, unable to respond, with no motor response or verbal response. She was not expected to ever wake up. As her next of kin, Garrus had fought to keep her "plugged" into the system on life support. Even with their advances in technology, the damage she had suffered to her vital organs and the burns on her body were going to leave her paralyzed or worse if she ever did wake up.
It was during that ordeal that she had gotten close to Garrus, as he truly had been unable to cope with the loss of his love. Liara loved Shepard too, there was no denying that. But now her loyalty was in question. Her commitment was in question.
She had committed treason.
Even if Shepard had never woken up, Liara still knew she had betrayed her, and betrayed her deeply.
Now she was awake. Her condition was unknown, but they knew she almost lost her right hand and her left leg had been blown to bits. She would be disabled, broken, and truly alone when she woke up.
"Garrus…we are unforgivable." She rolled from the couch onto her hands and knees, her body shivering continuously. "Treasonous," she spat, grabbing their coffee table to balance herself as she stood.
Garrus could not say a word. He knew it was true. He knew they were both in the wrong, and he also knew he loved Shepard and loved her deeply.
But he was a traitor.
A cheater, and a traitor.
He did not know if he would be forgiven.