Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!

Title: Counting Cards

Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.

...

Tales of the temperatures in Hades are wildly conflated. In all actuality, Goldie feels a bit of a chill as she sips at her hellfire tea, watching the pretty reds and yellows in the distance. She can't help it if the reaper is anxious to kill her and Scroogey off, but she can certainly kick his bony ass in cards as a way to get out of it.

Her phone buzzes. The id says Scrooge McDuck. What do you do if you have a crush on someone?

Goldie stares at the message, dumbfounded, before responding. That depends. Do you intend to seduce or push away?

I'm not sure yet.

Then I'm of no use. Who is this, by the way?

Scrooge.

Don't lie to me. Scrooge can't text.

She can feel the pause at the other end as they contemplate. Goldie wonders, idly, the timezone difference between Hades and Duckburg. She'd never bothered to check. Webby, the phone said finally. You tied me and granny up.

So you know who I am?

Yes, ma'am. (who in their right mind texts ma'am?)

I'm going to be real with you, then, Webby. I just beat the devil in a game of cards, and I haven't gotten any proper sleep or nutrition in a couple of days. You might want to ask somebody else.

Which would you recommend; seduction or pushing away?

Goldie ignored her tea, going instead for the glass of ice water. It takes like a slice of heaven. Seduction is more fun.

She's kind of a sentient shadow. My sentient shadow. Oh, and her maker is Magica de Spell.

Goldie snorted. She's heard worse. And it never hurt to have your enemies close- especially via safe, non-enemy family members. Seduction. Seduce. Do it.

There's no reply. For a good ten minutes or so, Goldie thinks she's let off the hook. It's nice. She finishes her tea, then goes about shuffling her half-singed cards. She should probably get a new deck once she hit the surface world again. She would, once Charon finally got back from his break.

Her phone rings.

Goldie swears and hits answer. "Kiddo, if you think I'm even slightly more coherent in words than you've got another thing coming."

"O'gilt," a voice barked sharply, and she almost laughed.

"Oh. Hey, Scrooge. Did you give your girl my number, or did she steal your phone?"

"It's my phone number! What do yew think?" Scrooge growled. "Ye cannae be telling her to 'seduce' people. She's a child!"

"She asked me. I only answered honestly."

"Where in blazes are ye, anyway? The phone 'bout had an aneurysm when I took it from Webby."

"Funny you should mention blazes," said Goldie, eyebrow cocked. "The devil wasn't happy to play me on my own, Scroogey, I tell you that."

"Aw, cast me kilts. That was this month?"

"Aye, ye old codger." She un-crossed and re-crossed her legs the other way, letting the tingly foot wiggle impatiently. "I think you owe me. I'm setting myself up in a hotel for the night under your card."

"Ye donnae have my card!" he argued, but Goldie could hear him shifting for his wallet anyway, desperate to make sure. "Besides. I jus' changed the numbers again."

"Aw, hun, it's cute of you to think you can make a number combo I can't crack."

Scrooge made a noise like he swallowed something gross and slimy. "Can't ye just... I dunno..."

"Stay with you?"

"Are yew nuts? You'd rob me blind!"

"I just saved you from an unfortunate fate in a fiery circle of hell!"

"And how many fiery circles of hell have you betrayed me to, exactly? I can recall five off the top of me head."

Goldie laughed. It was closer to ten. "Isn't the key to success rewarding positive progress?"

"Moving on," he answered. "Why are ye messaging Webbigail, anyway?"

"She sent me a text. I was bored." She shrugged, feeling the chipped wood on her chair dig into the fabric on her shoulders. "Charon's running late again."

"Aye," Scrooge grunted knowingly. "Laddie always loves to take his time."

"Better question. Why is she texting me? I did stuff her in a closet."

"She looks up ta' women like yew."

"How sweet."

"I didnae say that was always a good thing. Beakley is a great example. You? Not so much."

"I could teach her how to fence."

"I'm fairly certain she already knows how."

Goldie didn't doubt it. Any kid of Bentina's was bound to know a million and one ways to murder a man. "Okay, then. I could teach her how to pickpocket."

"Ach, Louie could teach her that."

"You're just making up excuses now," she said, faux-hurt. "You don't want me around."

"Aye. We do best to keep our relationship short spurts, long times apart. Maybe next decade ye can come by."

"I'll be there at one, or thereabouts. See about scrounging me one of those spare robes, okay? They're so soft."

"Goldie-" he started, but Goldie clicked end call, smirking.

Author's Note: I've been itching to write more Goldie lol. I dunno how far I'll get into this, or if I'll even finish it. It's more just for fun that to tell an actual story.

-Mandaree1