When we arrived at Shell Cottage, my mum came out and kissed all of us on the cheek, then ushered us inside for dinner. My mum thought any good dinner consisted mostly of meat, so she hadn't been thrilled when I decided to eat vegetarian a year ago. She had been even less excited when Teddy, a regular dinner guest of ours, had also stopped eating meat in solidarity.
By now, mum had found out how to feed a person without meat and she had made Quiche and steamed vegetables for dinner. My favourite meal of hers.
At dinner, I was lost in thought. My siblings talked about a lot of things that happened to them since school had started, all of which they had already told my parents per owl. My mum kept touching my hair affectionately, trying to get me to talk with them, but I was too far gone. After we finished eating I excused myself and immediately went to bed. I could tell that my parents were worried about me but I didn't feel like telling them about my problems. It's not that I didn't trust them or thought they didn't understand me, it was more the fact that if I told them about Teddy, they would find out that I kept our relationship from them and if I told them that I didn't know what I wanted to do after Hogwarts, they would send me letters every week with the daily prophet's career pages.
I decided I would rather sleep on everything so I wouldn't be too tired when we went to my Grandma's the next day.
I dreamt of all the times Teddy and I had played hide and seek around the house. We hadn't stopped until we were way too old, but with him, it had never seemed like we were too old. Everyone else was just not having fun. My dream suddenly felt threatening. It was my turn to search for Teddy and I looked in all of his usual hiding places, but I couldn't find him.
I ran outside to check there, but all I could see was the sea. Then I realised that I had been on an island all along. And the water was rising and I realised I couldn't swim and I realised I had been alone all along and there was no house and the water touched my thighs and…
I woke up, panting. It was still dark outside. I looked at my phone. It was 4 am. Christmas eve. I had a text from Jade, telling me she had gotten home okay. I also had a text from Teddy from last night. "Merry Christmas, sorry I cant be there. Thinking of you. XX"
I looked at my phone for two solid minutes. He hadn't texted me once since he left. Now I was utterly confused.
I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't so I went for a run. I spent the whole time thinking about Teddy. First he broke up with me and then he said he was thinking of me? That boy would be the death of me.
As I was running along the beach I realised how much I had missed home. Hogwarts had always felt like home, but Shell Cottage was a different kind of home. It was childhood, and summers and family.
By the time I came back, my mum was up and making breakfast. She was singing old french songs and didn't stop when she noticed me. She was making a fruit salad and some pancakes. I sat down at the kitchen table and peeled apples with her. She kept singing and I joined in for the chorus since I didn't know all the lyrics.
When my mum got up to make the pancakes, she used the spoon as a microphone and started dancing, holding her hand out for me to join her. I did and we swayed together. I giggled and sat down again. I felt a little better.