Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!

Title: Counting Cards

Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.

...

There is plenty of magical ways to dye hair, but Goldie instead requests Beakley buy her a bottle of the regular store blonde instead. She's pretty sure the housekeeper would snap her like a twig if she tried to go searching for treasure with Scrooge gone. Which, really, isn't her fault. If anyone was to blame, it was Scrooge, for assuming Goldie was anything even resembling a babysitter.

She's waiting for the dye to settle into her towel-wrapped hair, grungiest sweatshirt she could find on, when there's a knock on her door. In comes one of the triplets, dressed in a semi-fancy green suit, wheeling in a tray.

"I've got nutmeg tea and sandwiches," he said.

"I despise nutmeg tea," Goldie said. "But I'm hungry, so proceed."

The boy hopped up on the sheets next to her, taking in her wardrobe with a critical eye. "Well, we do dress for the job we want, don't we?"

"What job do you want, then? Cart boy?"

"Touche."

"Besides. Dye stains clothes like you wouldn't believe. I'm not wasting any of my good stuff on this." Goldie pours the tea into a cup, setting it in front of him. "Which one are you again?"

"Louie." He took a sandwich. "Not a lot of folks ask us that, believe it or not. They just kind of grunt and gesture. I think they think it's more polite? Mostly, it's just annoying."

"I have a lot of people ask me if my name is legitimate," Goldie responded. "I know that's not the same, but it's all I've got to compare."

"Is it?"

"I've been using it for over a century now- that makes it pretty damn legitimate."

Louie sucked in a breath, caught between surprise and laughter. "Ooh, you swore. Beakley's gonna take the soap to you."

Goldie gave a one-shoulder shrug. "I'm more concerned about her taking a butterfly knife to me." The sandwich ends up consisting of ham and cheese- but, really, she can't expect caviar from a ten year old, can she? "Alright, enough small talk. You didn't get all dolled up and make me lunch to chat about your name, did you?"

"You think I'd put that much effort into it if I did?" Louie asked, hand to his chest as if shocked. "Heavens no. I'm just curious about your long-run here, and I thought I ought to look the part."

"Is that so?"

"Yup. I'm a bit of a con myself, you see. And you are technically on my territory."

It would be ever-so-easy to lift him by the back of his shirt and toss him over the banister, but Goldie was pretty sure that was against the rules. Besides, she added mentally, putting her chin on her hand, it was far more fun this way. It's not often someone comes walking up to her with the idea that they can best her. "Fair enough. Well, let me put it to you simple, Louie. I'm currently in a mostly uninhabited mansion, being pampered from beak to tail, with the only major drawback being that I can't punt you little rugrats out a window. I'm splurging a bit before I think of something that'll get me kicked out."

"Hmm," Louie said. "Can I make a suggestion?"

"Oh, I have to hear this."

"I know of more than a few expensive trinkets in the other bin. I- ahem- I took stock of them the other day."

Goldie's eyebrows rose. "You're... trying to help me steal?"

"Something like that."

"Why?"

"Why not?" he shot back. "This town is small potatoes. Helping out someone as infamous as Goldie O'Gilt could help cement me in with the big boys." Louie finally took a sip of tea- she imagined it couldn't be all that hot by now. "The bin is mine. You can have anything else."

"I see," she said, sounding contemplative. "So, how'd you pull it off, bigshot?"

"Excuse me?"

"You say the bin is yours- that implies you've got a hand in the doubloons." Goldie leaned back slightly, giving off the impression of her full height. She wasn't all that tall, really, but he's not exactly a strapping young lad. "You're stealing from Scrooge."

Louie set the cup down with a dull clank. "I am offended! I'm just a little boy, trying to help my Great Uncle keep some of his dignity-"

"Save it." She took a triumphant bite of her sandwich. "Can't con a con, honey. Especially not an old con."

He inhaled, pressing his pointer fingers to his beak. "Okay, I both hate you and love you right now," he said. "I'm not stealing from Scrooge. Now."

"But you were."

"There may have been a little bamboozling, yes." Louie held up a pinch. "Not much, I swear."

Goldie was impressed, but she didn't let it show. "And how'd you manage that?"

"It wasn't all that hard, honestly. Scrooge loves to drag me to work with him- says it'll teach me how to make a proper dollar. Then he gets caught up in whatever and I do my own thing." Louie cleared his throat properly this time. "My point is that if he suspects you're stealing from his bin, he'll catalog it, and then we're both in trouble."

"Sounds like a you problem to me, kid."

"Look-" he started, but Goldie cut him off.

"Listen. I'm impressed with what you've managed to pull off, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna keep it in consideration for any future schemes of mine." She waved a hand dismissively at the tea kettle. "Take that with you on the way out, alright?"

"I had to, okay?" Louie burst out, surprising her. "There's fun cons and then there's cons you hate to do, but you gotta do 'em. I needed that money. Uncle Donald needed that money. And if you have an ounce of self-respect you'll respect that and butt out."

"What would Donald need gold for?"

"Boat repair isn't exactly cheap."

"Ah. Is he aware-"

"Of course not. He thinks I snuck some gold home for myself. I... he can't find out, alright? Uncle Scrooge and Uncle Donald have always been shaky. I don't want to be the reason all this nice stuff ends." Louie picked a piece of lint off his dress shirt to avoid looking at her. "I dunno if you care about Uncle Donald, but you love Scrooge, don't you?"

"Huh," Goldie said, smacking her lips. This was not the way she expected negotiations to go. "He was... not good. After Della and Donald left."

"Exactly! And it's not like I'm asking you to not steal- just to hold off for a bit." Louie clapped his hands together. "Please? I'm so close to breaking even, and you can take whatever amount you normally steal after."

"You could blame it on me."

"But that's lame and I already put in effort."

"Can't argue with that logic," she agreed, nonchalant. "Alright, fine. I don't see how getting a little extra scrounge time is gonna hurt me."

Author's Note: Today, on Counting Cards: Small Child Begs Thief Aunt to Chill.

Side note, but I hear there's some bonkers bananas virus stuff floating around here lately. Be careful, guys.

-Mandaree1