"What are you- what in the name of the Seven Sages is going on?" Link felt paralyzed, his elation at having his house back curdling into confusion as he stared at the man on the table.

"I didn't think I had to explain," Ravio said with a smile in his voice. "Did you fall head first from that broom? This is my new, improved business plan. As long as I have something to sell, I'll sell it. And that now includes me." He threw his arms wide.

All thoughts of compromise and refusal flew from Link's mind as he stared uncomprehendingly at the sign resting against that naked torso. "For rent. For rent? Fooooor Rrrrrent. Forrent." He pointed at the sign. "You. Are renting. Yourself?"

"I knew you would get it eventually! Although I should have made a new sign. My services are actually free of charge!"

"Services?" Link repeated, straining to see the details of Ravio's body in the dark.

Ravio spoke with the air of someone who was used to conversing with young children or the hard of hearing. "Yes, services. My supply of magical items is running out, and it's not likely I will come across any more, so I'm changing to a service-oriented paradigm. My time is now your time, for the low, low price of free!" He spat out free like it left a bad taste in his mouth. "I was going to include Sheerow too, he's great at fetching things and pecking monsters, but he refused."

A burst of indignant tweeting issued from a dark corner where Sheerow had made his nest. "He also says he's got a full time job already. Being on-call all day and night waiting for you to fall in battle is enough work for one bird." He shrugged and turned back toward Link. "So, ready to try me out?"

Link scratched the back of his head and opened his mouth. Nothing came out, so he closed his mouth and tried again. "What exactly are these services?"

Ravio leaned back against the wall and stretched his arms above his head. "Well, I guess it depends on your imagination. What do you need to get done, or don't want to do yourself?" He gestured extravagantly at the newly neatened house. "You can see my cleaning skills speak for themselves."

Link felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over his head. "If your cleaning skills spoke up earlier, we wouldn't be having to renegotiate your living arrangements!"

Ravio flinched. "Ouch, buddy. Sometimes the truth hurts, ya know? But now I realize I haven't been pulling my weight. And I'm serious about making it up to you. In any way I can." The ears on his hood waggled suggestively, and he hopped down from the table. In a few quick strides, he was toe-to-toe with Link. "So, got any ideas yet? I'm eager to begin!"

Link gave the over-enthusiastic bunny boy a thorough look from top to bottom. They were nearly the same height, though it was hard to tell with that hood and those ears taking up so much space. His gaze strayed lower, noting the pale hue of his skin and the slim build of his body. He blew out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Oh thank the goddesses, you're wearing underwear!"

"Of course I am! I wouldn't dream of subjecting my delicate backside to the rough grain of that table!"

"You sleep on the floor." Link pointed out.

"Yeah, fully clothed, on a rug. There's a difference!"

"So, uh, why are your clothes off now?" Link hoped he sounded casual, but his hopes weren't high.

"Aha! So you have noticed!" He twirled in place, and Link couldn't help following the motion with his eyes. "I want to make sure you are aware of all your options. I've seen the way you look at me. I can take a hint!"

"I wasn't aware you could see anything underneath that hood of yours." He placed his hands over the bunny hood's embroidered eyes and made a few funny faces, trying to elicit a laugh. There was a war raging in the back of his mind. One side was sure Ravio was tricking him, teasing him for all the not-so-subtle glances and touches he'd been giving him lately; the other side was equally certain that Ravio was sincere and that this was just his typically over-the-top way of affirming Link's interest. He ignored the voices whispering in his ears and instead asked, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Just one, but I don't think that's actually a finger…" Ravio jumped out of arm's reach just as Link made a swipe at his head. "Hey, if you can catch me, I'll...I'll give you...a discount!" He laughed, beginning to run around the perimeter of the rug.

"What?" Link hollered. "That doesn't even make sense! You already said the magic word: free!" He took up the chase; concentrating perhaps a tad too much on the way the merchant's muscles flexed as he darted across the house.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. How about this: I will do something for you I normally wouldn't do," he said as he vaulted over the kitchen table.

"Great! I actually have an idea!" Link answered as he took up the chase.

"What is it?" Ravio dashed to the front of the house.

"I'll tell you when I catch you!" Link ran past the ice rod and got another idea. He backtracked to snatch it up then froze at Ravio's shout.

"Nuh uh- those are for paying customers only! You try, you buy!"

"How did you get so fast?" Link stopped to watch Ravio bounce off the end of the bed and end up in the far corner. "There's only one room in this house; there's nowhere to go and there's nowhere to hide!"

Ravio's usual joking tone was absent when he answered, "I had a lot of practice back at home when I was younger... Slow kids disappeared."

Suddenly Link saw his opportunity. Slipping on his pegasus boots while Ravio was talking and distracted, he ran full speed at his quarry and tackled him before he could jump out of the way again. He wrestled Ravio onto the bed and straddled him so he couldn't escape. He reached for the hood and announced, "Now it's time for my reward-" He was stopped by a peal of laughter. "What's so funny?"

"You." Ravio gasped out between fits of giggles. "You sound so dumb! Sorry, I just can't take you seriously when you talk like that. 'My reward'! Psshhh. Next you're gonna tell me you're gonna unwrap me like a candy." Link's face fell when he heard the edge of derision in Ravio's voice.

"Not everyone's a wordsmith, bunny boy." He poked him in the chest for emphasis. "If you don't approve of the way I speak, maybe I just won't talk at all!"

"Fine with me!"

"That means I'm not going to tell you what I'm planning to do with you..." he teased.

"Oooh, how mysterious! I love surprises!" He fell silent, reflecting on the situation. Ravio had simply assumed that Link was interested in him. It wasn't like he ever said anything to confirm or deny his hopes, he just gave him the occasional look with those inscrutable blue eyes, those eyes that transfixed him and made him want to lower his prices and his pants. What if it was all a ruse and that 'dumb' comment he made was the thing that pushed him over the edge? Link had a whole arsenal of magical weapons to torture him with if he so chose. Did Mr. Hero have a sadistic side? Was Ravio going to pay his price in blood? He wasn't in the mood to find out.

"Wait, I lied, I know I said I'd do whatever you want, but don't surprise me please, I'm actually not a big fan of surprises, my heart can't take the strain..." He wiggled furiously, trying to make some purchase on the bedcovers, but Link had him securely pinned down. "Don't make it hurt too bad, remember, I'm delicate!"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's ok," Link said, running soothing hands up and down his arms. "I'm not gonna...I wouldn't...all I want to do...is this..." He leaned down and lifted the bottom of the bunny hood, just enough to expose Ravio's trembling lips. "Don't forget, this was your idea in the first place."