"No no no, Mr. Hero, don't take it off! " Ravio clutched his hands tightly to his hood and jammed it back down over his face.
"But you said-" Link protested, struggling against his iron grip,"you'd let me-"
"I'm a coward and a liar! I'm sorry, but I can't let you see my face!" He tried to curl up into a ball despite being sandwiched between the bed and the hero.
"Go ahead and torture me, beat me with your boomerang or whatever, do anything else you want but don't remove my hood!" He was gasping now, close to tears.
"Where did you get such an idea, Ravio?" Link sat upright and let go of Ravio's wrists. "I don't want to torture you, and I don't see why it's so bad that I see your face. Is it cursed?" His voice grew low and mysterious, like the fortune teller near Kakariko Village he had visited once. With dramatic hand gestures and the corners of his mouth curling into a smile, he intoned, "If I gaze upon your accursed visage will I be doomed to wear that ridiculous hood forevermore? Must I lurk in the shadows, never to step foot outside or see the sun again?" Link thought for sure that Ravio would snap out of his escalating crisis when he heard that goofy impression, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on him. In fact, he became more distraught, shaking his head from side to side before finally bursting into tears. Link climbed off the other man entirely and scooted to the end of the bed.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry! Was it- what did I say?" Ravio wiped the tears from his eyes without uncovering his face and drew a deep breath. When no explanation came forth, Link continued, confusion clouding his face.
"You're giving me some seriously mixed signals here. One minute you're throwing yourself at me, telling me that you're mine for the taking, and the next, well, look at you, you're a mess," he said, not unkindly. Ravio sniffled, but didn't speak up.
"I was flattered by your enthusiasm, but now I have the feeling you didn't really think your plan through. We need to talk, but not until we've both calmed down."
Silence continued unabated from the other end of the bed.
"I'm going over to the Milk Bar in Kakariko Village for a little bit. You are welcome to join me, though I suppose you'd rather stay here." Ravio rolled over, turning his back to Link and facing the wall. This silent treatment was beginning to unnerve him, but he didn't think there was anything he could do at the moment to coax some words from his uncharacteristically mute form. He stood up and walked to the door, pausing to retrieve his sword and shield from where they leaned against the wall. He glanced back at the prone figure on the bed and sighed, sadness mingling with unbecoming excitement, suddenly renewed after resting his eyes on the bunny boy's underwear-clad posterior. "I'll be back soon." Then he went outside, shutting the door on the sound of Sheerow's comforting chirps.
Link sidled up to the bar and flagged the bartender down. "One milk please, in the largest glass you've got. And extra cream on top, too." He sighed, rubbing a finger against the smooth countertop. He couldn't believe he ran away. He just up and left when Ravio was in the middle of having a freak out. It wasn't very heroic of him at all. This was the Skull Woods all over again. What a goddess-blighted creepy place, with those grasping hands that came out of the darkness...he suppressed a shudder, one hand unconsciously reaching for his sword, and the other moving to his bag to retrieve a bomb. Realizing what he was doing, he made himself grab the milk glass with both hands, and took a long swig. But he had gone back, despite his misgivings. He always finished what he started. He needed to, it was what was expected of him by no less than two princesses, and what he expected of himself. In fact, he would finish this milk, then go back home, and tell Ravio once and for all...What was he going to tell him? How could he say it to his face? They were so gloriously close to realizing his unspoken fantasy until it all went so suddenly wrong. This derailment added another layer of confusion to to an already complicated problem. Perhaps he could detour around the whole thing and just tell him that if he cleaned the house twice a week and did all the laundry he could stay. Link would ignore the nudity, and the sobbing, and above all else, his own feelings, because what good would it possibly do to bring it up again? He was not good at talking. Even the other patrons at the bar seemed to know to give him a wide berth. He looked around the crowded room, noting with some dismay that everyone else seemed to have someone to talk to. A flash of purple caught his eye-could that be him? Did he decide to come after all? No. Just some woman in a purple dress, twirling to the new song that the musicians were playing. His ears twitched as he shifted his concentration to the music. The song was a light, upbeat tune, played with gusto on a flute and a lute. He imagined a pair of bunny ears bouncing along to the beat, followed by clapping hands, swaying hips, and tapping toes. He couldn't escape it, everything here reminded him of Ravio. He slammed down the last of his milk and called for the bartender.
Link ordered a premium milk to go. If he couldn't say it with words, he could say it with expensive dairy products instead. Maybe Ravio would appreciate the gesture and forgive him, or maybe he would yell at him for buying something extravagant when he should be saving up for a fire rod instead. Either way, it was an opening. Or an offering. Or something. Hopefully.
Talk? They would have a talk when Mr. Hero came back? He knew what they'd be talking about: Ravio leaving the house as soon as was physically possible. He had failed spectacularly to persuade Link to keep him as a roommate, and he wasn't going to stick around and listen to him talk about all the additional ways he was a failure before he threw him out. It didn't take long to don his clothes and stuff the two magic rods into his rupee sack. He threw the sack over his shoulder and called to his feathered companion. "Let's go, Sheerow!" A sleepy twitter from the corner was the only reply.
"I am not running away from my problems and I am not overreacting, Sheerow. I just know when I have overstayed my welcome, is all. Time to move on to greener pastures." He shifted the sack of rupees to his other shoulder. It was heavier than he thought it would be and it was beginning to weigh him down. Maybe it was time to start thinking about where he would spend the night before he started wandering off into the countryside.
Where would he go? Setting up shop in Kakariko Village was right out; he didn't want to cross paths with Mr. Hero so soon after his eviction. To the east was where he had first peddled his wares- tempting, but he thought he could find someplace better. North was the castle, reportedly swarming with possessed soldiers, and beyond that lurked a haunted forest. What was in the south? He didn't recall the adventurer telling him much of anything about the land down there. It must be more or less safe, if the Hero of Hyrule had nothing bad to say about it.