A Love of Snow
Chapter 5
A Fruits Basket fanfic by Haneoka
The first thing Kana noticed the next day when she walked in was that Hatori wasn't there.
The second thing she noticed was that the picture of Hatori and Mayu, that usually sat on the corner of his desk, was no longer there.
In its place was another picture. Of her.
She quickly reached over and with shaking hands, she held the picture and looked at it.
It was more than a few years old, and the picture had faded slightly. But it was her. Smiling.
'Is this a sign from Hatori?' she asked herself. 'What does it mean?'
Her free hand went towards her neck, which was bare. That morning, she had looked at herself in the mirror, and decided that today she wasn't going to wear her necklace. She had taken it off, and tucked away her wedding ring in a safe place.
And then she had walked into work that morning, feeling free and happier than she had in a long time. She had told herself that she wasn't sending Hatori a message. She had simply taken it off because she was ready to move on.
But was Hatori sending a message to her? And what were the odds that they would be sending each other a message at the same time?
Coincidence, or fate, she asked herself?
'It doesn't matter which it is…no matter what, I am going to look to the future.'
Hatori chose to walk in at that moment, with two mugs of steaming tea. Years ago, Kana had always been the one to bring the tea to him. It had been one of the thoughtful things she had done in order to quietly tell him that she liked him.
Now it was his turn to bring it to her.
No one could accuse Hatori of not being subtle.
After that first morning, when Kana realized Hatori had put away the picture of him and Mayu, and Hatori had realized that Kana had stopped wearing her wedding ring around her neck, everything that happened was like a dream.
Or better than a dream, because they each savored every single waking moment, knowing how dear it was.
Kana opened up her desk drawer, searching for a pen, and found a little gift-wrapped box. Chocolates!
She giggled out loud, then stopped, surprised at herself. Then she laughed again at how silly she was being.
'Chocolates from Hatori!' she thought. 'Truly…I am lucky.' Though she had worked up enough nerve to go back into Hatori's life, she had lost her courage from there on out, unable to make the first move.
'I…won't let this chance escape. Not this time.'
Hatori took Kana out to dinner. And to a movie. And to a concert. And to an amusement park. And to a picnic.
They had never really formally dated before, as it happened so quickly, and they had been so happy working together, that they hadn't gone out to many places.
Now, they made up for lost time. The polite, reserved expression on Kana's face melted away. And all of a sudden Hatori could look into Kana's eyes, and see the deep, strong emotion shining out of them. For him.
Sometimes, it took his breath away. But he knew his feelings were in his eyes, the same way.
Yet, for all that, all the time they spent with each other, talking, laughing, they hadn't gotten farther than holding hands.
Until one night, they were sitting on a hilltop, overlooking the bright lights of the city, and looking up at the stars.
And as they held hands, Kana, not looking at Hatori, quietly asked, "Did you know that when I left, I left loving you?"
Hatori was shocked. Hadn't he erased all those memories?
Kana answered his silent question. "When we finally met, I was already half in love with you. I had admired you for so long. And I still has those feelings when I left. When I left, I thought it was futile. I told myself I would bury those feelings away."
Hatori thought…'Of course…if she had cared for me before we had met…then if I erased her memories of only our falling in love…she would still have some of those feelings when she left.'
Kana continued. "I…I met someone else. He was a good man. He made me laugh. I loved him. But there was a part of my heart he could never have, a part of my heart he didn't know about. That was the part of my heart I gave to you."
It seemed that the only thing to say to that – or rather, do – was to kiss her. So Hatori did.
They were like two high school students, kissing awkwardly, his hands on her shoulders, hers on his arms, not quite embracing, not close enough but not daring to get closer.
And that's how it ended that night…for two people learning how to love all over again, it was much like going back to those days of adolescence and insecurity and uncertainty.
He didn't embrace her, and she didn't embrace him. Though years before, Hatori had been the one afraid to embrace her, this time Kana was the one who feared embracing him.
Was she unconsciously afraid of embracing him? Did she remember, subconsciously, about the curse? About the dangers of loving him?
Hatori was afraid, and he could see that Kana was afraid of something too. He could feel that she was holding back too. Or otherwise why wouldn't she move to embrace him?
Hatori was afraid to embrace her, not because he was afraid that the curse would rear its ugly head again. The curse had ended. But their first embrace years ago had been so memorable. To embrace her again might jog her memory of it, and of the eventful times that had followed. Most importantly, her depression. And like a stack of dominoes falling, what would happen if she remembered everything?
As it turns out, fate solved Hatori's dilemma. One night, Hatori was walking Kana back to her apartment. A late-night jogger was running by.
Suddenly, the jogger – a female – tripped and crashed into Hatori, body to body, arms flailing. Exactly the kind of situation that would have turned him into a tiny little seahorse, if the curse was still alive.
"I'm so sorry!" she blurted out, as she tried to disentangle herself.
"It's okay, it's okay," Hatori said to the embarrassed woman and set her on her way. Then he straightened himself and turned to look at Kana.
And saw that she was in complete shock.