Game of Thrones: Not So Different – Arya

Chapter 3 of my Game of Thrones story, enjoy, if you've not already, read Marina's chapter 3 first as this chapter comes after it.

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Now onto the story.

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones belongs to George R.R. Martin.

Chapter 3

Arya lay on her side in bed, lost in thought, she was thinking about yesterday, about what Lancel had told her.

'Gods...I never, I never imagined.' She thought to herself. 'He...He actually shared his story with me. I never thought he'd do that, or that he'd...have such problems.'

She was beyond horrified at the things he admitted. For him to have suffered like that, she couldn't believe it, it sounded almost like what she went through.

She thought back to school. 'He always seemed so off then, could...could it be, Gods he was even suffering back then. Yet he's only now collapsed. He's stronger than anyone gives him credit for, even himself.'

She bit her lip; actually amazed he admitted it all to her, at the same time feeling ashamed of her own torments. While horrible, while she had actually attempted suicide, something that Lancel actually had not, she had to give him credit for that, they had only being going on for a year. Lancel had been suffering for much longer. Finally she sighed and got out of bed.

'It's not right, he told me about what happened to him. He deserves to know the truth...' She mused as she looked down at her scars, the bandages gone from her wrists, they were in full view. 'Yeah, I should talk to him...Just hope he's...'

She shook her head and focused.

Approaching Lancel's door, she wondered how he was, her mind still full of what he had told her. She could only imagine the pressure he must have been under. What she went through was slightly different. But she knew about people's expectations and how she was expected to meet them. Lancel had been crushed under that weight, trying to be someone he wasn't.

'That's where we differed...' She reflected.

Entering the room she found Lancel awake, reading, he looked up and, when he saw her, she noticed the ghost of a smile on his face. It was like they now instinctively knew that, if no one else, they could trust each other while here.

"Hey." She greeted. "I...I was thinking about everything you told me."

Lancel raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh?"

She nodded, sitting down. "Yeah, I...You trusted me; told me what happened to you. I; I think you deserve to know my story too."

Lancel nodded slowly, but his eyes betrayed his curiosity. Not that she begrudged him that, she had been the same after all.

"I...honestly, don't know where to start." She admitted. "But I do know what you meant about the whole, trying to meet people's expectations of you."

Lancel nodded. "You; I just caved...You did better at that than me."

Arya laughed mirthlessly. "No, I didn't. You tried, even though it caused, well, you know. I openly defied those expectations. Which was part of my problem."

She bit her lip, bowing her head.

She was trying desperately to hold back her tears at the horrible memories.

"I just...it all started last year, I've always struggled with my family; felt like I didn't belong, that they didn't accept me. I was a constant disappointment to my parents, never meeting their 'expectations'. Especially since I openly defied those." She admitted.

"But then it just got worse; suddenly Sansa and I were at each other's throats, arguing all the time...More than ever, we always argued since she always seemed to be the favourite."

She let out a shuddering breath. "We just kept drifting apart and, and…It seemed everything that went wrong was my fault, as far as Sansa was concerned. It wasn't like her, I couldn't understand it and my family never seemed to make any effort either. They just, sided with her, like always."

She could see Lancel's expression, knew that he sympathized, and shuddered.

"One night I just couldn't take it anymore and, unlike you, I acted on my suicidal thoughts...I tried to, well...You saw." She continued; showing her scarred wrists to him.

"If it wasn't for Gendry I'd be dead. He saved me and, when I woke up, he was there...it's thanks to him I've not tried to kill myself again. He's given me hope that things will get better. I just have to, hold on to it."

Lancel nodded again and she managed a small smile, relieved that he understood.

He then surprised her by asking. "Are you sure your family just kept siding with Sansa...sure that she, was actually against you?"

Arya sighed and admitted. "Probably not, but...that's how it felt, especially at the time."

Finally, she sighed and thanked him for listening. He simply replied that it was the least he could do.

Later, back in her room, lying in bed, beginning to doze due to the medication she was on. Arya reflected on her most recent meeting with Lancel.

'I can't believe it, of all people, Lancel Lannister...I, I trusted him.' She couldn't help but note.

As she finally slept, she felt, for the first time since she arrived at the Institute, like there truly was hope for the future.

End of chapter, hope you enjoyed it, read and review please.