Game of Thrones: Not So Different – Arya

Chapter 8 of my Game of Thrones collaboration with Marina, now we see Arya's side of their meeting in the garden.

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Now onto the story.

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones belongs to George R.R. Martin.

Chapter 8

Arya bit her lip as she emerged into the Institutes garden; she couldn't deny, it was a nice place. It was the fact it was so peaceful she guessed. She spotted Lancel sitting beneath a tree and decided to approach him, she knew his parents had visited him and wanted to know how he had got on. She was still surprised at how things had changed between them, and all down to the pure chance of finding each other in the same place, in their most desperate hours.

"Hey. Is there a place for me?" She asked.

He looked up, Arya noted he looked somewhat better, still pale and tired looking, but not so gaunt or frightfully ill in appearance. She had seen it herself in the mirror in her bathroom, she was starting to regain her lost weight, although that was it really. He nodded and moved over, letting her sit down.

As she sat she observed him carefully. "So, your parents came?"

"They did." He replied blandly

"Wow, that's a lack of enthusiasm!" She remarked. "Aren't you happy they came?"

"I'm ashamed they saw me that way." He said bowing his head

She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Are you also ashamed when they see you down with a flu, a cold, a stomach bug?" She queried.

Lancel shook his head. "Having a physical illness isn't anyone's fault."

Then she made her point. "So is having a mental illness."

Before he could argue back, she cut him off

"You were diagnosed by several doctors with depression. Depression is a mental illness, due to something chemical malfunctioning in the brain. At least, that's what I understood about depression." She explained. "So no, you didn't choose to have depression. And before you ask, having a breakdown isn't your fault either. No one can blame you for having tried to make your family proud. It would be blaming someone because he feels love."

They lapsed into a small silence after this.

Finally Lancel sighed before asking.

"How did it go, with your parents? I was told they came."

She tensed. "It was... Intense. Needed, but intense."

She smiled lightly as she admitted. "But now I know that they never stopped loving me. I feel so stupid for having doubted it in the first place."

"You had reasons to believe it. So, you are reconciled?" He replied.

She shrugged. "You could say that."

"I'm glad."

Arya bit her lip again; wondering. "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded.

"You've lived with so much pressure for years. Yet, it's only now that you are down. And you're here only because a doctor saw through your weight issue." He kept silent, so she continued. "Despite having thought of it, you never actually tried to do it."

"You're wrong."

She froze surprised. She listened as Lancel explained everything and she did her best to reassure him. Even if she got things mixed up, she was glad to see that he was listening carefully to her words. He even tried to apologize for his behaviour towards her in high school.

He began by commenting on how he didn't expect her support.

"Not after what I have done to you."

"Okay, listen close. True, you have a brain. You made your choices. But with what I know now of you and of your story, I can understand you trying to buy yourself peace." She explained. "And I'll be honest, I've always seen you as a yes man. So, not particularly bright but not particularly mean either. To hate you, it'd mean hating Sansa. She was like you, once."

"Still... Arya, I'm very sorry for the way I treated you. My story explains why I acted this way but it does not justify how I acted. I do apologize." He replied earnestly.

She smirked.

"I was told you were good with brushes and pencils."

He agreed, though confused.

"I'll have to think of a subject but paint something for me and we're even."

Arya had to admit, while she felt it was clumsy, her efforts to calm him down about it seemed to work.

When he laughed, she felt relieved, for she knew it meant she had done something right. She couldn't deny she still felt ashamed, remembering her own suicide attempt, looking down at her scars she thought for a moment.

"I wish I had that strength." She said at last.

"Arya...You..." He began hesitantly.

She shook her head. "I was broken, everything just seemed to fall apart, no matter what I did. Whenever it did, I'd break a little more. I just, had no hope, nothing...That's what led me to do it and, and the worst part, I didn't even care who found me...At least you thought about your sister..."

Lancel was quiet for a moment, before pointing out. "But, you haven't even attempted to do so, since you came here."

"No, but only because, for such a long time...since arriving, Gendry was my only hope. When he spoke to me, revealed how he still cared, I felt...terrible, for putting him through that." She said. "But now, after seeing my parents again, seeing the truth about my family..."

Lancel didn't speak, didn't prod, he just waited until she was ready to say what she wished to say.

Finally she did. "I felt like Gendry was the only thing I had worth living for, but now...I'm starting to see more."

She smiled and that smile did not go unnoticed by her nurse as she was passing through the gardens while doing her rounds. She was amazed and certainly hopeful. It looked like her patient, one whom she admitted she had become fond of, despite how unapproachable she tried to make herself, was well on the way to recovery.

End of chapter, hope you enjoyed it, read and review please.